Realy show 'My Hband's Not Gay' draws ntroversy

Contents:

• 'MY HBAND'S NOT GAY' STARS DEFEND TLC'S CONTROVERSIAL NEW SHOW
• MY HBAND'S NOT GAY
• MY HBAND'S NOT GAY IS FELY NOT WORTH THE UPROAR
• REALY SHOW 'MY HBAND'S NOT GAY' DRAWS NTROVERSY
• STRAIGHT WOMEN AND THEIR GAY HBANDS
• 'MY HBAND'S NOT GAY' REALY SHOW FAC BACKLASH
• ON THE EDGE: ‘MY HBAND IS NOT GAY’ HS NEW PTHS REALY TV
• WHY TLC’S ‘MY HBAND’S NOT GAY’ IS WORTH WATCHG
• 4 REASONS TLC’S ‘MY HBAND’S NOT GAY’ IS DANGERO FOR LGBT PEOPLE
• THE PROFOUND LACK OF EMPATHY MY HBAND'S NOT GAY
• MY HBAND’S NOT GAY MISUNRSTANDS WHAT IT MEANS TO BE GAY
• NEW 'MY HBAND'S NOT GAY' SHOW UPROAR
• TLC FAC PRSURE TO CANCEL ‘MY HBAND’S NOT GAY’ SPECIAL, GLAAD CALLS SHOW ‘DANGERO’
• EP 19. MY HBAND'S NOT GAY
• IS YOUR HBAND GAY? 6 SIGNS THAT COULD BE A CSE FOR CONCERN
• 6 THGS ABOUT TLC’S ‘MY HBAND’S NOT GAY’
• WTF? TLC'S NEW SPECIAL MY HBAND'S NOT GAY IS EVEN WEIRR THAN IT SOUNDS: WATCH NOW
• TLC'S 'MY HBAND'S NOT GAY' OUTRAGE
• IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?

'MY HBAND'S NOT GAY' STARS DEFEND TLC'S CONTROVERSIAL NEW SHOW

"NEWS: Orange Is the New Black Ws Big at GLAAD AwardsSome also believe the show uld serve as an ad for the "ex gay" dtry, which clus programs that try to change one's sexual orientatn by g procr such as psychoanalysis and extreme s electro shock.

This week GLAAD let loose their ire on TLC’s upg special My Hband’s Not Gay, which premier on Sunday 11 January at 10pm EST – directly oppose the Goln Glob, ensurg that nary a gay man will actually see .

MY HBAND'S NOT GAY

” GLAAD isn’t the only one tryg to get TLC to pull the plug: nearly 100, 000 people have signed a petn at askg for the work, the former home of Here Com Honey Boo Boo, to ncel the first blh, I would agree wh GLAAD that is irrponsible to poe the doctre of reparative therapy, where relig groups believe that gay men and lbians n pray the gay away and live heterosexual liv. It’s dangero to tell people that they n somehow stop beg gay if God wav a magic wand and mak them really thk there is somethg credibly sexy about Megan Fox wearg a belly ’s not really what this show is about though. Jt as I hope they all rpect my right to live as an openly gay man, I gus I have to give them the same rpect to choose not to act on their are a gay man and a former member of the SSA muny who get to give their views durg the 60-mute special.

They don’t expand upon , but I image a bunch of middle-aged dus the rec room of a fished basement a half-naked scm wh that magic Mormon unrwear ltered all over the wall-to-wall thg about My Hband’s Not Gay is that is not gog to nvce anyone at eher end of the iologil spectm.

MY HBAND'S NOT GAY IS FELY NOT WORTH THE UPROAR

Controversy is buzzg around a new TLC realy special — and hasn't even aired show “My Hband’s Not Gay” follows Mormon men Utah who are married to women but attracted to men. RELATED: ‘Duck Dynasty’ star: ‘Tryg to figure out’ if beg gay is a choice“I thk this show is disgraceful and that there are many thgs wrong wh , ” said Sarah Kate Ellis, the CEO and print of GLAAD.

“That kd of therapy tri to ‘cure’ people om beg gay and we know that’s been refuted for years … feeds to a much bigger epimic of higher cints of suici, higher cints bullyg the LGBT muny and sends a bad, bad cultural msage. Mov to ban gay nversn therapy among mors“My Hband’s Not Gay” follows one bachelor and three married, heterosexual upl, Jeff and Tanya, Pret and Megan, Curtis and Tera. Fally, the relatnships suggt to some people “reparative therapy, ” the uhil and impossible claim that a person n be changed om gay to straight.

REALY SHOW 'MY HBAND'S NOT GAY' DRAWS NTROVERSY

You might be able to claim your inty by meetg ocsnally wh gay men, stayg touch on Facebook, and lettg your gay iends know that you want to rema sexually fahful to your wife. I warn mixed-orientatn upl that he may feel differently later life and his gayns may surface more strongly and bee more of an inty for him and th bee an issue their marriage. Both straight and gay muni put enormo prsure on the man and woman a mixed-orientatn marriage, and few marriag n stand up unr this social, fay, and relig prsure.

STRAIGHT WOMEN AND THEIR GAY HBANDS

The TV show follows Mormons who are married to women, but also attracted to men— -- A new realy show featurg men who say they are attracted to men but do not intify themselv as gay is stirrg up real-life ntroversy as thoands have signed a petn to stop the show. The Learng Channel, once a pretty classy outf the world of ble TV, buted s latt seri Sunday night, a ltle dose of realy TV lls “My Hband Is Not Gay. The show is built around several Utah Mormon men who are attracted to other men, but have married women to rema members of the church, which forbids homosexual behavr.

TLC’s latt entrée reflects the attus of the mastream Church of J Christ of Latter-day Sats and the stggle members of the Lbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgenr muny have matag their good standg wh the LDS church. The foc of the show is on how the men tly believe that prayer n elimate their sexual attractn to other men and that the “gay liftyle” is a choice that n be reversed wh prayer. There are a number of thgs wrong wh all of this, of urse, particularly the belief that homosexualy is a liftyle choice and that is somethg that n, or should, be “cured.

'MY HBAND'S NOT GAY' REALY SHOW FAC BACKLASH

At least is ls dangero than the reparative therapi the LDS church employed the past, which clud electric shock therapy as a supposed “cure” for homosexualy. When TLC announced would air a one-hour special lled My Hband’s Not Gay about Mormon men wh same-sex attractns who pursue relatnships wh women, the LGBT muny was unrstandably upset.

Over 75, 000 signed a petn llg on the work to ncel the show bee “promot the false and dangero ia that gay people n and should choose to be straight orr to be part of their fah muni.

But My Hband’s Not Gay is not a puff piece profile or some one-sid documentary wh propaganda tents; ’s a realy TV show, and so rarely are the subjects of realy shown a flatterg light. ” The upl scribe the word “gay” as a “liftyle choice” and “not real accurate” to scribe the men, bee they believe means havg relatnships wh other men.

ON THE EDGE: ‘MY HBAND IS NOT GAY’ HS NEW PTHS REALY TV

They check out the guys they play basketball wh (who they sist be “sks” stead of “shirts”); they check out the waer at the rtrant; they check out other gay guys they know at the fashn boutique. From the moment they wake up the morng until the moment they kiss their wiv goodnight, they see the world through a homosexual lens that impacts how they teract wh every person they enunter. In fact, as Media Matters disvered, both Pret Dahlgren and Jeff Bennn have openly spoken on behalf of North Star Internatnal, a mistry for SSA Mormons that promot ex-gay therapy.

Dahlgren is actually the former chairman of Evergreen Internatnal, a Mormon ex-gay anizatn that shut down and was fold to North Star last year. ) Bennn ld sexual orientatn change efforts (SOCE) as part of his own therapy, “all aimed at helpg me better manage my homosexual attractns wh the ntext of my value system.

” When the state of Utah was fightg marriage equaly the urts, specifilly highlighted Voic of Hope as evince that “some gays and lbians have chosen to exercise their fundamental right to marry a person of the oppose sex, ” th jtifyg limg the tegory of marriage to man-woman relatnships.

WHY TLC’S ‘MY HBAND’S NOT GAY’ IS WORTH WATCHG

That TLC ma no mentn of the fact that all three of the married upl have nnectns to pro-ex-gay therapy anizatn certaly adds to any crique of the work’s handlg of this subject, but at the same time, this knowledge adds to the show’s backfire. Bennn’s scriptn of how SOCE helped him marry a woman uld easily be paraphrased as such: SOCE helped him bury all the anguish he was tght to feel about beg gay so that he uld endure a forced relatnship wh a woman — while still havg sleepovers and takg mpg trips wh men. Even the absence of explic ex-gay therapy, those who are gay are enuraged to marry and start a fay specifilly as a way to overe their attractns.

Mch Mayne, who formerly served as Executive Secretary for the Bishopric of the Bay Ward San Francis, has received untls letters om fellow gay Mormons who suffer for years bee of their self-nial, and whose fai have been vastated when they n ny their sexualy no longer. Mayne rejects My Hband’s Not Gay as dangero, implorg his fellow Mormons to stop “livg nial” and stop teachg “that LGBT Mormons need to change who they are to be clud our muny, our fai, or our Savr’s kgdom. But none of the anti-LGBT thgs the Duggars have done or said – and there are lots of exampl – have been as dangero to the LGBT muny as My Hband’s not Gay.

4 REASONS TLC’S ‘MY HBAND’S NOT GAY’ IS DANGERO FOR LGBT PEOPLE

It’s also a possibily the men have been undated wh relig-based homophobia their entire liv and are actually jt gay and are reprsg their natural sir bee they feel their eternal salvatn pends on .

And prompts the pable, skg feelg that the lady doth prott too much: If she has to expla that her hband's not gay, she's already admted that his attractn to her is ls than, many people are angry about My Hband's Not Gay, which is s send stroke of brilliance.

The TLC show, which aired on Sunday night, follows four men who all experience "same-sex attractn, " or "SSA, " but who don't want to live "the gay liftyle" bee of their Mormon relig beliefs. " In the lead-up to the special's premiere, more than 100, 000 people signed a petn to get ncelled, claimg promot "'reparative therapy, ' a discreded and dangero practice that falsely claims to turn gay people straight.

THE PROFOUND LACK OF EMPATHY MY HBAND'S NOT GAY

This approach to programmg succeeds, wildly, bee 's a pure distillatn of the appeal of realy televisn: self-righteo problem, though, wh makg realy televisn about gay men who don't want to be gay is that will variably lack empathy for the pa that likely f those men's liv. The failure of My Hband's Not Gay is one of style, not substance; but the fact that has been protted for s substance says a lot about the cultural tensns surroundg homosexualy Ameri. The openg of My Hband's Not Gay is a straight llback to the the openg sequence of the fictnal HBO seri Big Love, about a polygamo fay of fundamentalist Mormons.

It's a bound performance of sexualy: They've stctured their relatnships so that they n exprs their feelgs of attractn and even toy wh gay inty while still settg firm lims on their behavr.

Watchg My Hband's Not Gay is like the passive emotnal experience of wanrg through a low-budget rnival, gawkg at the sishow eaks for a short moment before losg attentn and movg on. All three of the upl featured have worked wh an anizatn lled Voic of Hope, sharg their experienc on tape and speakg publicly support of "non-gay liftyl" for people who experience "same-sex attractn. " While uld fairly be lled propaganda, 's not exactly "prayg away the gay": Voic of Hope is part of the Mormon anizatn North Star Internatnal, which says on s webse that "whether or not dividuals choose to make efforts to dimish or elimate homosexual feelgs, and whether or not those efforts succeed, is ls important to North Star’s purpos.

MY HBAND’S NOT GAY MISUNRSTANDS WHAT IT MEANS TO BE GAY

Sendg the msage that beg gay is somethg that n and ought to be changed, or that you should reject your sexual orientatn by marryg someone of the oppose sex, " the petn says.

NEW 'MY HBAND'S NOT GAY' SHOW UPROAR

By airg a televisn special about this worldview, objectors say, TLC is implicly endorsg —which is a form of will be the next great nflict surroundg gayns Ameri: between those who mand acceptance of homosexualy and those who fd morally unacceptable.

It's a sign of jt how far gay rights have e Ameri that TLC would be lled out for even acknowledgg a worldview that isn't fully acceptg of gayns. The upl My Hband's Not Gay have created liv they say they want, liv that are tolerant of homosexualy every way except choosg, themselv, to have gay sex. Of urse, that's not what happened My Hband's Not Gay, but that probably uldn't be helped; nuance don't tend to be the tramark of realy televisn.

But if possible, My Hband's Not Gay should be treated as a varsy-level exercise fdg empathy; even for those who disagree wh the choic the upl have ma, they may still regnize the stggle. Sure, they read as gay, they acknowledge that they are attracted to guys, and they go out together to check out other men, but they also repeatedly emphasize the ways they differ om people livg a so-lled “gay liftyle” bee of nsc choic they have ma.

TLC FAC PRSURE TO CANCEL ‘MY HBAND’S NOT GAY’ SPECIAL, GLAAD CALLS SHOW ‘DANGERO’

Dpe the work’s assertns that the show “solely reprents the views of the dividuals featured, ” there are repeated suggtns that gay men n be attracted to women and that homosexual orientatns are not fixed and unchangg but fluid and negotiable. This ex-gay mdset is what mak the show so od, and s foc on orientatn change ought to be distguished om other, ls harmful efforts to rencile tradnal fah backgrounds wh LGBTQ inti.

EP 19. MY HBAND'S NOT GAY

Although My Hband’s Not Gay attempts to stick to the personal experienc of s subjects, a group of Mormons who live around Salt Lake Cy, the iology of orientatn change slips around the edg, particularly when the show’s subjects fe what means to be gay. The reful distctns they make between “experiencg same-sex attractns”—or SSA—and beg gay would be enough to imprs the most arnt votee of polilly rrect lguistic parsg. ” Clearly, the are people who believe that if they had ma different choic, they would be gay men, not people who believe that beg gay is tegorilly distct om their experience of same-sex attractn.

IS YOUR HBAND GAY? 6 SIGNS THAT COULD BE A CSE FOR CONCERN

There are ways that a gay orientatn uld be renciled wh heterosexual marriage that wouldn’t rely on the belief that changg one’s sexual orientatn is possible. ” He thereby suggts that sexual fluidy is universally experienced, implyg that a gay orientatn n be waed out, as if were a bad se of the measl. In that moment, when a gay man’s assertn that he is not and uld not be attracted to women is challenged, the pretense that the show als only wh the particular men’s dividual experience evaporat.

6 THGS ABOUT TLC’S ‘MY HBAND’S NOT GAY’

They do not believe that they are different om gay men bee they are also attracted to women; they believe that is possible for gay men to bee attracted to women, and they explicly say so. However, I believe that there’s an important distctn to be ma between approach that irrponsibly promote orientatn change ( spe of all the evince agast ), as opposed to those that affirm the existence of persistent, unchangg sexual orientatns most gay men and many lbians. The iendlit of the renciliatn strategi is a belief that same-sex marriag are valid and should be blsed by tradnal church, and gay and lbian people of fah should chew sex outsi such unns exactly the same way that heterosexual men and women are expected to.

WTF? TLC'S NEW SPECIAL MY HBAND'S NOT GAY IS EVEN WEIRR THAN IT SOUNDS: WATCH NOW

Still, even the more hardle posn that gays and lbians are lled to be celibate if they are unable to participate a heterosexual marriage is an improvement on the nial and ercn of ex-gay mistri, which promote nversn “therapy” leadg to eventual orientatn change. The expectatn that gays should fo sexual and romantic timacy altogether is a tough one—I certaly would never want to live that way—but at least don’t ny the existence of certa people whose orientatn is fixed the directn of same-sex relatnships, and regniz that such people are beg asked to do somethg unique and difficult.

TLC'S 'MY HBAND'S NOT GAY' OUTRAGE

The dacy of the expectatn that gays and lbians mt go whout romantic love means that celibate gay Christians such tradns n unter wh their own mands for spirual support and nourishment and hold their church acuntable if their special needs are not met. While imperfect, this at least allows space for gays and lbians to speak the tth about themselv while remag wh a fah tradn that they see as too central to their inti to let go of—or too important to let go of all at once, s where celibacy serv as a way statn on the way to a Christiany that is more affirmg of the need to form romantic partnerships. However, by ignorg the possibily that most gay men will never feel enough attractn to a woman to have the sort of timate, romantic bond people expect out of a marriage, the men are dog far more than sharg their personal experience—they’re suggtg that orientatn change is a viable alternative for gay men and lbians more generally.

IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?

While those of who do not share a tradnal sexual ethic may fd hard to make distctns between two equally alien approach to homosexualy wh tradnal religns, behoov to give some cred to those strategi that validate LGBTQ people’s inti, ntrast to those that actively enurage self-ceptn and raise false hop of one day experiencg heterosexual attractn. The ble work has brought The Duggars, The Ltle Couple and Sister Sunday, TLC plans to air My Hband's Not Gay, a one-hour special about four Mormon men who are married to women but attracted to men. A petn started by Josh Sanrs on says the show "promot the false and dangero ia that gay people n and should choose to be straight orr to be part of their fah muni.

Josh Sanrs, a gay Christian man, began the petn bee he believ the show “promot the false and dangero ia that gay people n and should choose to be straight orr to be part of their fah muni… The men featured this show serve to be shown passn and acceptance. Instead, TLC is prentg victims’ liv as entertament, while sendg the msage that beg gay is somethg that n and ought to be changed, or that you should reject your sexual orientatn by marryg someone of the oppose sex.