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data-ttid="ContentHearHed" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearHed-NCyCC iUEiRd bjcNOB gydgrM">If You’re Not Sure You’re ‘Allowed’ to Intify as Bisexual, Read This</h1></div><div class="ContentHearAccredatn-lfctVB etVsnJ ntent-hear__accredatn" data-ttid="ContentHearAccredatn"><div class="ContentHearDek-bIqFFZ bZgCVT">There are so many ways to be bisexual.</div><div class="ContentHearByle-kmPyCa emiglw"><div class="ContentHearByleContent-dpPmNn DRFq"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl ContentHearByl-cZqgyJ bHLeKI"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH gKcujo byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd fzZOZR gnILss byle__preamble">By </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd fPqUbj IWACp eErqIx byle__name-lk button" href="/ntributor/melissa-a-fabello">Melissa A. Fabello</a></span></span></p></div><time data-ttid="ContentHearPublishDate" dateTime="2020-01-31T15:51:56-05:00" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearPublishDate-eIBicG iUEiRd danQKH MlCHH">January 31, 2020</time></div></div><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--standard ContentHearAccredatnSocialIns-jorO fPzfaa ntent-hear__social-share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div></div><div class="ContentHearLeadAsset-hGbumP cAlrhp lead-asset ContentHearLeadAssetWrapper-hfXHEc bjtV lead-asset--width-small" data-ttid="ContentHearLeadAsset"><figure class="ContentHearLeadAssetContent-kOfYSG dRGWbI"><div class="ContentHearLeadAssetContentMedia-bLEIpi jjhWdS lead-asset__ntent__photo"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb cZenhb"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jgsWEn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb cZenhb rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w, 1920w, 2240w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="For Years I Wasnt Sure I Was ‘Allowed to Intify as Bisexual" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></div></div></span><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE qDPBn ptn ContentHearLeadAssetCaptn-hPWmSN loMSDX"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd gVwuiM fNaHcW ptn__cred">Getty Imag/ Jena Arll</span></div></div></figure><div data-ttid="ContentHearLeadRailAnchor" class="ContentHearLeadRailAnchor-jYVcDc djtEof"></div></div></div><asi class="PersistentAsiWrapper-VGrR oEIBz persistent-asi persistent-asi--align-left" style="posn:absolute;top:to;height:to" data-ttid="PersistentAsiWrapper"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jNgrSF sticky-box ContentHearPersistentAsi-fsnAmQ dFzKzm"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--has-background ContentHearSocialIns-jzJiyg fgMkJI social-ins--share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></asi></hear></div><div data-attribute-verso-pattern="article-body" class="ArticlePageContentBackGround-cNiFNN kJkLmH article-body__ntent"><div class="ArticlePageChunksContent-etcMtP bwyLBj"><div data-ttid="ArticlePageChunks" class="ArticlePageChunks-fLyCVG eOdfIs"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa UJsCn body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>My bt iend and I were on the b g home om school the seventh gra, and we were almost at our stop. For the entire ri, she had been avoidg tellg me the name of her new csh, who had been leavg her <a href=">forlorn and mopey</a> for weeks. I was gettg impatient.</p><p>“I need to tell you somethg first,” she said, avoidg my ey. “I’m <a href=">bisexual</a>.”</p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-un__slot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><p>“Okay,” I said slowly, elongatg the send vowel. I had never heard that word before. “What do that mean?”</p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p>Wh the nfince that the oler bt iend tends to exu when explag a sndalo new topic (at least middle school), she said, “It means that I like boys <em>and</em> I like girls.”</p><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad---ntent"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot---ntent" data-no-id="rp4lb"></div></div><p>And then I shouted, “Oh, my God, I’m that too!”</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-1 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>Bisexualy is more plited than that, of urse. Like her sister inti, such as <a href=">pansexualy</a> and omnisexualy, bisexualy impli an attractn to multiple (or all) genrs. (If you're wonrg, “<a href=">What is pansexualy</a>?" here's what you need to know). The simplifitn of beg attracted to men and women (pecially where the genrs are assumed to be cis) is not only rrect but also harmful. But as a kid whout a ep unrstandg of genr, I was nohels stck by my bt iend’s fn.</p><p>You see, growg up, I was nfed. Many queer kids have a siar experience: We’re prented wh only one optn of what relatnships look like—cis man pl cis woman equals te love forever!—and we n sometim sense early on that somethg about our ternal experience feels different.</p><p>In the fifth gra, when a iend of me sneered that I was gay as an sult, I thought maybe I had land on a name for what I felt. But I went home and asked my dad what that meant, and still didn’t f. I wasn’t straight like I was supposed to be, but damn , I wasn’t this untercultural “gay” thg eher.</p><p>I felt stuck. As I saw at the time, there were girls who were attracted to boys, and there were girls who were attracted to girls, but no matter how hard I tried, I uldn’t simply pick one. I was both—and I thought I was the only one.</p><p>Learng the word <em>bisexual</em> on the b that day a uple of years later was an unfettably powerful moment of validatn. Not only was there a name for what I felt, but I wasn’t alone after all.</p><p>Unfortunately, my road to strong, assured bisexual inty was riddled wh pothol, as is for many of . Over the urse of my life, bee I ternalized so much <a href=">stigma around bisexualy</a>, I’ve stggled wh claimg this inty that at first felt ctom-ma for me.</p><hr/><p>I started datg my first love, a woman, when I was 15. It was wh her that I had <a href=">my first sexual experience</a>. I was very fortable intifyg as bisexual then. I had csh galore, and genr felt irrelevant to my attractns. I also helped start the Gay/Straight Alliance at my high school. Sure, people mistook me for a lbian and hurled associated slurs at me, but I felt solid my bisexualy.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB kNleGZ sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="ox2pjd"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="ek9u6j"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa UJsCn body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>When I later started datg a man, though, I felt a signifint shift. Sudnly, my peers qutned my queerns. Even my boyiend at the time told me, pot-blank, “No one is bisexual forever. You eventually have to choose.” But stead of qutng our msed-up unrstandg of sexualy, doubt started creepg to my heart stead: <em>Would</em> I eventually have to choose?</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-2 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>For many years after that, I dated cis men almost exclively, mostly as a rult of nvenience. I still intified as bisexual, bee I had csh, went on dat wh, and hooked up wh people of var genrs. But the love terts who tend to stick, who wanted me most, were cis men. I was even engaged to one before I graduated om llege! Eventually, this led me the oppose directn of what you might assume: My sexual boredom and sometim even disgt wh the men I dated led me to believe I was, and always had been, super gay after all.</p><p>So, my early 20s, I threw myself a new directn and got eply volved my lol queer muny. I dated only women for a few years, intified as a lbian, started a blog for queer femm, and eventually got to a long-term, live- relatnship wh a woman. I me out anew—only to be shocked when I later fell for a man all over aga. I tried donng a “homoflexible” label for a few years, but two boyiends later I had to s back and take a good look at my inty and why my perceptn of kept shiftg seemgly so drastilly.</p><p>What I didn’t unrstand as I tried on the different labels was that isn’t simply our behavr that dictat who we are. It’s also our ternal experience and how we choose to scribe . The normative unrstandg of bisexualy tends to falsely fe as a strict set of feelgs and actns: We’re told that bisexualy means havg equal attractn to multiple genrs and engagg wh them romantilly and sexually siar amounts. Not only is this an credibly rctive way to unrstand sexualy, but also leav many people grapplg wh whether they’re “allowed” to intify as bisexual when their experienc don’t align wh this narrow fn. That’s what happened to me before I realized I was thkg about all wrong.</p><hr/><p>It took years for me to realize that sexual fluidy (the experience of sexual inty as flowg and fluctuatg) is legimate. Now I’m fortable wh the ia that my attractns sometim shift, and wh that sometim inty chang, which are also valid.</p><p>But ’s worth qutng why bisexualy as a label kept slippg away om me, spe attractn to multiple genrs always beg a part of my sexual experience.</p><p>What do actually <em>mean</em> to be bisexual? And who is allowed to claim ?</p><p>Over the years, I’ve created and nurtured relatnships my muny wh other bisexual people, and women particular. I n’t tell you how many tim I’ve heard of this mon experience, which often throws people to a spiral of validatn: A cis woman is attracted to multiple genrs, but for var reasons has only ever engaged romantilly and/or sexually wh cis men. Maybe she regnized her attractn to others later life and is, at that pot, a <a href=">monogamo</a> life partnership already. Maybe she feels unfortable—like an imposter— queer spac, so she hasn’t been able to meet, let alone date, anyone except cis men. Maybe her cy, fay, or culture is nservative, and livg her life thentilly uld be dangero to her. She knows her heart where her attractns lie, but her experience betrays that. Is <em>she</em> bisexual?</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="47r94w"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="RecircMostPopularWrapper-bRuGTi jkTTgR recirc-most-popular-wrapper viewport-monor-anchor"><div class="RecircMostPopularConter-jiViNn ktrplG recirc-most-popular-sparrow-trackg hi-asi-ad" data-most-popular-id="mod-most-popular-340"><div class="RecircMostPopularHeadg-iVzhzt fIrqYK">Most Popular</div><ul class="RecircMostPopularItems-dCAajf gqcRrp"><li><div 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data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>Well, yeah. If that’s what she wants to ll herself, which is up to her.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-3 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>When I was graduate school, workg toward a master’s and then a doctorate gree Human Sexualy Studi, I was troduced to the Orientatn, Behavr, and Inty (OBI) Mol. Popularized by Brent A. Satterly, Ph.D., and siar to s more famo precsors, <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">the Ksey Sle</a> and <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">the Kle Grid</a>, aimed to be a simple amework for unrstandg the plexi of human sexualy experienc.</p><p>The OBI Mol poss that our orientatn (who we’re naturally attracted to), behavr (who we engage wh romantilly or sexually, cludg through <a href=">fantasi</a>), and inty (how we scribe ourselv) exist on pennt sl, and there are endls batns beyond the dictnary fn of any given sexualy. It says “not so fast” to the pervasive myth that orr to <em>intify</em> as bisexual, you mt be attracted to all (or multiple) genrs equally, and you mt be romantic and sexual wh all (or multiple) genrs equally. Sudnly, the puzzle piec of tryg to unrstand my own sexualy fell to place.</p><p>If you too have been grapplg wh your sexualy or sexual inty, here’s how the OBI mol suggts thkg of :</p><ul><li>Orientatn: Which genrs do you fd yourself naturally cled toward? Which genrs do you tend to be attracted to or have csh on? Who piqu your tert?</li><li>Behavr: Which genrs do you tend to have romantic and/or sexual relatnships wh? When actively datg, who are you searchg for? Which genrs do you fantasize about?</li><li>Inty: How do you scribe your ternal sense of sexual self? Which words feel ftg to you and do you feel fortable donng (even privately)? How do you see yourself as a sexual person?</li></ul><p>Here’s how that plays out for me: I fd myself attracted to people of all genrs, although some far more often than others. Most of my romantic and sexual behavr has been wh cis men and cis women, but not all of , and I choose not to actively go out of my way to date (particularly cis) men. I intify as bisexual and pansexual terchangeably bee those words scribe my experience of attractn to all genrs; I also intify as queer, particularly polilly. But I make a pot to e the term <em>bisexual</em> as often as possible to bat the notn that someone else’s ia of bisexualy f me.</p><p>Bisexualy n look like primarily beg attracted to and/or datg one genr, while also havg tert others. It n look like makg a nsc choice to date one group of people over another, spe broar attractn. It n look perfectly portned wh equal experience across genrs. Or, like wh my own experience, bisexualy n look like shiftg external behavr wh a static orientatn.</p><p>Ultimately, bisexualy isn’t a phase or a nfn or a burn. It’s a legimate experience and inty. And any outsi disbelief or ternalized imposter syndrome that up for likely isn’t the flt of bisexualy self, but of a culture that don’t give the tools to talk about ourselv thentilly.</p><p><strong>Related:</strong></p><ul><li><a href=">How Alice ‘The L Word’ Affirmed My Inty as a Bisexual Woman</a></li><li><a href=">This Is What It’s Like to Come Out Your 30s or Later</a></li><li><a href=">I’m a Bisexual Guy, and No, It’s Not Jt a Phase</a></li></ul></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="cis04i"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 PaywallInleBarrierWhWrapperGrid-fyrGfS kLQIUk grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="body body__le-barrier article__body"><div class="ntaer ntaer--body"><div class="ntaer--body-ner"><asi class="PaywallInleBarrierWrapper-iBnuqk lfXXa-D" data-ttid="PaywallInleBarrierWrapper"><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--paywall-le-barrier" role="prentatn" aria-live="pole" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--paywall-le-barrier"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></asi></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ContentWrapperGrid-fvkmBv brYtrA grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="body body__ntaer"><div class="ntaer ntaer--body"><div class="ntaer--body-ner"></div></div></div></div></div></div></article><div class="ContentFooterWrapper-jVNdRG dTJkpP ArticlePageContentFooterGrid-ccsXYy eMZRHU article-body__footer"><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="ContributorsWrapper-eNpWFu hEUvfU ntributors" data-ttid="Contributors"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="TextBlockWrapper-bNZsMC dTomOc StyledTextblock-SJflO kHgSzz disclaimer grid-layout__ntent"><p class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TextBlockText-gtrMkY iUEiRd Pbwma kQegaj">SELF do not provi medil advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any rmatn published on this webse or by this brand is not tend as a substute for medil advice, and you should not take any actn before nsultg wh a healthre profsnal.</p></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div data-ttid="TagCloudWrapper" class="TagCloudWrapper-gGgndx iPNP ContentFooterTagCloud-krQmRG ZLGh"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TagCloudSectnHear-cOforY iUEiRd kgktQt kQQRmu">Topics</span><a href="/topic/bisexualy" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM TagCloudLk-kvjZFu iUEiRd fPqUbj iAqPKp hIhJOI"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TagCloudName-eAUnLd iUEiRd hJhJHy bUkXwu">bisexualy</span></a><a href="/topic/relatnships" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM TagCloudLk-kvjZFu iUEiRd fPqUbj iAqPKp hIhJOI"><span 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data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="recirc-list-wrapper viewport-monor-anchor"><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan ContentFooterRelated-kEBiFe kVUuwq"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK eRggVV grid grid-margs grid-ems-0 SummaryCollectnGridComponent-ktyEog bdTTVU summary-llectn-grid RecircListDefltOverlaySummaryCollectnGrid-AHJhY bEaXiL recirc-list__ems summary-llectn-grid--four-lumns summary-llectn-grid--TextBelowLeft"><div class="GridItem-buujkM kHPPIF grid--em"><div class="SummaryCollectnGridContent-eVUpRm gOErDJ"><div class="SectnTleRoot-dBGvdq fxVSsn SummaryCollectnGridSectnTle-fCmYwG izjbVn" data-ttid="SectnTle"><hear class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SectnTleHed-dKqZet dxqEAa iuxgWr jttyjJ">More om Self</hear></div><div class="SummaryCollectnGridItems-DZShR iJAxgH hi-read-more-ad" data-ttid="SummaryCollectnGridItems"><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff jCBznZ summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm idzIpc" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="How to Save Your Relatnship From the Social Media Comparison Trap" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">How to Save Your Relatnship From the Social Media Comparison Trap</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">Even the most picture-perfect pairs go through rough patch.</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff jCBznZ summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm idzIpc" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="4 People on What Livg Whout a Rectum Is Like" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">4 People on What Livg Whout a Rectum Is Like</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">If you have a stoma, you n poop anytime, anywhere.</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff jCBznZ summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm idzIpc" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="7 Signs of Emotnal Abe That Aren’t So Obv" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">7 Signs of Emotnal Abe That Aren’t So Obv</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">It don’t have to be loud or vlent to “unt.”</div></div></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm idzIpc ad ad--read-more"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--read-more" data-no-id="rxd85t"></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff jCBznZ summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm idzIpc" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="3 Thgs to Do If You’re a Guy Stgglg Wh Your Body Image" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">3 Thgs to Do If You’re a Guy Stgglg Wh Your Body Image</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">Your food or fns route shouldn’t make you feel like sh.</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff jCBznZ summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm idzIpc" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-5" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source 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never do.</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff jCBznZ summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm idzIpc" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-6" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO 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i'm worried i might be gay

I’m really worried I might be turng gay. I have sudnly started fantasisg over men and is srg me. I go to gay chat rooms and offer t...

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I’M MALE AND I AM AAID THAT I MIGHT BE GAY

I have for the last few years been very aaid that I may be gay. Deep down, I want to watch my wife have my children and have a really close relatn... * i'm worried i might be gay *

I’m male – but I have for the last few years been very aaid that I may be gay. However, at the surface, I fantasise over homosexual sex and many people believe that I am gay, and exprs those opns – and have done for longer than I n remember.

I'M MALE AND SRED THAT I MIGHT BE GAY

* i'm worried i might be gay *

People fd me funny and ‘sweet’ and I n’t really thk of anyone who I don’t get on wh, however people still assume I’m gay even though I ask out many women, and show affectn to women. I have a gay iend who is 21.

He do know that I do not have a problem wh gay people. I don’t want to be gay, as I said, ep down I am ashamed of the way I feel, I still feel as though is not normal, which may have origated om my parents views.

'HOMOSEXUAL OCD': STRAIGHT MEN WHO SPECT THEY ARE GAY

Here are some thgs to keep md if you're thkg you might be gay... * i'm worried i might be gay *

I don’t know what to do, I’m ightened that I will be gay, and am tryg to fight off, as though were an chy jacket!

But to be hont, I thk that much of what you say leads me to feel that you are gog to be gay. Whichever way thg turn out, please bear md that there are lns and lns of very happy gay people the world.

YOU’RE NOT GAY: HOMOSEXUALY ANXIETY OCD

I guys I'm sred I might be turng gay. I've always liked and been sexually attracted to girls my entire life but the last few months I've begun to thk I might be gay. It started when I began to... * i'm worried i might be gay *

The other thg to remember is that vast numbers of so lled heterosexual men and women have gay fantasi - but they choose never to do anythg about them.

And then there are huge numbers of ostensibly heterosexual men this untry who marry happily and have children but who also like to fd exprsn gay love om time to time. I’m really worried I might be turng gay. I go to gay chat rooms and offer to meet men my area; really turns me on.

It is srg me bee I love my girliend arly but do this thought mean I am gay? On the basis of probabili, I'd say that there's at least a 50-50 chance that you'll turn out gay. I notice that more and more people of your age are actually ristg beg characterised as eher gay or straight.

AM I GAY?

It's lled 'Am I gay?

Nowadays, as you may know, many high street bookshops have large gay sectns. It may benef you to take a look at some books about homosexualy.

And do remember that there are mass of straight men and women – who never have any form of gay sex – who fantasise about gay sex que often. —and we n sometim sense early on that somethg about our ternal experience feels the fifth gra, when a iend of me sneered that I was gay as an sult, I thought maybe I had land on a name for what I felt.

WORRIED I MIGHT BE GAY

I wasn’t straight like I was supposed to be, but damn , I wasn’t this untercultural “gay” thg eher.

I also helped start the Gay/Straight Alliance at my high school. Eventually, this led me the oppose directn of what you might assume: My sexual boredom and sometim even disgt wh the men I dated led me to believe I was, and always had been, super gay after, my early 20s, I threw myself a new directn and got eply volved my lol queer muny. I tried donng a “homoflexible” label for a few years, but two boyiends later I had to s back and take a good look at my inty and why my perceptn of kept shiftg seemgly so I didn’t unrstand as I tried on the different labels was that isn’t simply our behavr that dictat who we are.

AM I GAY?

24, 2014&#151; -- Steven Brodsky, a psychologist who specializ obssive-pulsive disorr, says that at any one time he has a "handful" of clients who are straight and spect that they are gay. J., said he had one adult patient who was so crippled by obssive thoughts about beg gay that he was unable to live penntly and had to move back wh his parents to pe. Brodsky said he termed his patient had OCD associated wh homosexualy.

Brodsky said a prev therapist had misdiagnosed his patient as gay, and at the patient's requt, sent him off to reparative therapy, a ntroversial method that has not been proven to be effective and n be harmful.

"I have many gay clients and phobia is my bs, " he said.

I'M AAID THAT I'M GAY

Even though they know that they are 100 percent straight, not gay, they send gus . Ocsnally, a person learns they are gay. "I say, oh, that's tertg, how do you feel about beg gay and what n we do about that?

HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?

"Brodsky argu that today's open acceptance of homosexualy and gay liftyl n bld therapists to this kd of anxiety disorr straight men.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* I'M WORRIED I MIGHT BE GAY

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7.19248L9.92958 7.18863H9.91741C9.71255 7.18863 9.52532 7.21401 9.37387 7.28285C9.21999 7.3528 9.10423 7.46733 9.04675 7.63843L7.65622 11.3134C7.49055 11.4168 7.32883 11.5162 7.16933 11.6142C6.59481 11.9672 6.04911 12.3026 5.45135 12.7448C5.27766 12.2933 5.18499 11.9122 5.09197 11.3548C4.99419 9.97417 5.38887 8.59334 6.27741 7.40863C7.16218 6.22894 8.44042 5.63726 9.9224 5.53846L9.9224 5.53859L9.92671 5.53805L10.7262 5.43811C10.7263 5.4381 10.7263 5.43809 10.7264 5.43808C12.4248 5.23828 14.8166 5.03928 16.8075 5.23801C18.0074 5.43807 18.8958 5.63666 19.4839 5.93071C20.0658 6.2217 20.2424 6.59944 20.2424 6.86363H20.2414L20.2434 6.87596C20.2907 7.15935 20.2442 7.52127 20.1085 7.94054C19.9732 8.35875 19.751 8.8285 19.4531 9.32504C18.8561 10.3201 17.9605 11.514 16.867 12.5081L16.8669 12.5081L16.8644 12.5106C15.8673 13.5076 14.6716 14.5039 13.5771 15.2004C12.4775 15.9001 11.5938 16.2886 10.9174 16.2886V16.2885L10.9124 16.2888C9.43124 16.3875 8.15032 15.9934 6.96542 15.006L6.9657 15.0057L6.95901 15.0012C6.80052 14.8956 6.6335 14.8369 6.47312 14.8514C6.30948 14.8663 6.16547 14.9563 6.055 15.122C5.94935 15.2805 5.89064 15.4475 5.90522 15.6079C5.91999 15.7704 6.00888 15.9136 6.17241 16.0238C7.38363 17.032 8.89896 17.6386 10.4174 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17.6382C11.9398 17.5366 13.0503 17.1315 14.2571 16.3273C15.4638 15.6231 16.6684 14.6188 17.7716 13.4155C18.9755 12.2114 19.8785 11.0074 20.5807 9.90389L20.5807 9.90392L20.5822 9.90142C21.2838 8.69868 21.6948 7.58065 21.592 6.65534L21.5918 6.65433C21.4878 5.82245 20.9664 5.20513 20.0542 4.6983C19.3384 4.28937 18.2234 4.08887 16.9232 3.98885L16.9232 3.98882L16.921 3.98871C15.1998 3.90675 13.2773 4.02582 11.6513 4.12654C11.2887 4.149 10.9409 4.17054 10.6132 4.18874L10.6132 4.18857L10.6081 4.18921L9.80864 4.28914C9.80856 4.28915 9.80847 4.28916 9.80838 4.28917C8.09047 4.49134 6.47312 5.30005 5.26046 6.71482L5.26041 6.71477L5.25843 6.71729C4.14884 8.1295 3.54014 9.84879 3.74292 11.5724L3.7429 11.5724L3.74316 11.5742L3.74373 11.5782C3.84086 12.2581 3.93945 12.9483 4.22584 13.6395C2.93992 14.631 1.65415 15.7218 0.563179 16.9118C0.446754 17.029 0.392407 17.1993 0.392407 17.3636C0.392407 17.5285 0.447126 17.6994 0.564374 17.8167C0.621794 17.8741 0.704211 17.9284 0.783866 17.9682C0.861151 18.0069 0.949203 18.0386 1.01741 18.0386C1.24851 18.0386 1.36772 17.9194 1.468 17.8191L1.47044 17.8167L1.47048 17.8167L1.47237 17.8147C4.05847 15.0296 7.24136 12.9379 10.3286 11.4415L13.3051 11.9376L13.3049 11.9386H13.3174H13.4174C13.7605 11.9386 13.9823 11.7062 14.0886 11.3873C14.1492 11.2053 14.0859 11.0291 13.976 10.8918C13.8663 10.7546 13.7038 10.6467 13.5411 10.5925L13.5415 10.5914L13.5288 10.5895Z' fill='black' stroke='black' stroke-width='0.15'/></svg></div><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/health" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Health</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD dsgTQs navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><div data-ttid="navigatn__nav-em-in" class="NavigatnItemIn-bpcxDt hLTmGs"><svg xmlns='' width='22' height='22' viewBox='0 0 22 22'><g fill-le='evenodd'><path d='M14.751 4.059c-1.75 0-3.203 1.309-4.016 2.242C9.922 5.368 8.47 4.06 6.72 4.06A4.726 4.726 0 0 0 2 8.779c0 1.866 6.623 8.133 8.652 10.01a.709.709 0 0 0 .996-.038.706.706 0 0 0-.04-.996c-4.905-4.536-8.2-8.304-8.2-8.976A3.315 3.315 0 0 1 6.72 5.467c1.809 0 3.416 2.342 3.432 2.367.261.388.902.391 1.17-.002.015-.023 1.616-2.365 3.43-2.365a3.315 3.315 0 0 1 3.31 3.312c0 .84-3.09 4.474-5.978 7.339a.7.7 0 0 0-.003.995c.133.135.31.209.499.209a.697.697 0 0 0 .496-.205c1.5-1.488 6.395-6.487 6.395-8.338a4.725 4.725 0 0 0-4.72-4.72'/><path d='M6.961 6.549L4.681 8.95a.704.704 0 0 0 1.02.97l2.28-2.4a.704.704 0 0 0-.025-.997.724.724 0 0 0-.995.026'/></g></svg></div><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/sex-love" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Love</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD dsgTQs navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><div data-ttid="navigatn__nav-em-in" class="NavigatnItemIn-bpcxDt hLTmGs"><svg xmlns='' width='22' height='22' viewBox='0 0 22 22'><g fill-le='evenodd'><path d='M13.895 12a.692.692 0 0 0-.691.691 2.413 2.413 0 0 1-2.412 2.411 2.414 2.414 0 0 1-2.411-2.41.692.692 0 0 0-.69-.692c-.38 0-.691.31-.691.691a3.797 3.797 0 0 0 3.792 3.793 3.797 3.797 0 0 0 3.794-3.793.692.692 0 0 0-.69-.691'/><path d='M20.432 10.99l-2.35 1.393a9.278 9.278 0 0 0-1.086-1.228l1.813-2.106a.687.687 0 0 0-.072-.974.71.71 0 0 0-.975.073l-1.836 2.13a9.315 9.315 0 0 0-1.473-.837l1.05-2.658a.691.691 0 0 0-.39-.896.7.7 0 0 0-.896.389l-1.06 2.685a9.17 9.17 0 0 0-1.731-.312V5.69a.692.692 0 0 0-1.382 0v2.95a9.485 9.485 0 0 0-1.557.236l-.87-2.879a.706.706 0 0 0-.86-.462.687.687 0 0 0-.461.862l.876 2.905a9.236 9.236 0 0 0-1.37.693L4.037 7.5a.71.71 0 0 0-.962-.165.69.69 0 0 0-.166.964l1.774 2.508c-.394.333-.76.699-1.091 1.093l-2.495-1.813a.71.71 0 0 0-.965.152.68.68 0 0 0-.123.513.687.687 0 0 0 .276.453l2.497 1.815a9.175 9.175 0 0 0-.988 2.194.693.693 0 0 0 .662.889.692.692 0 0 0 .66-.493 7.912 7.912 0 0 1 1.163-2.36 7.89 7.89 0 0 1 6.377-3.253 7.86 7.86 0 0 1 6.552 3.525c.008.036.139.253.186.292.323.536.58 1.108.768 1.703.11.355.492.565.865.453a.694.694 0 0 0 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data-ttid="ContentHearHed" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearHed-NCyCC iUEiRd bjcNOB gydgrM">If You’re Not Sure You’re ‘Allowed’ to Intify as Bisexual, Read This</h1></div><div class="ContentHearAccredatn-lfctVB etVsnJ ntent-hear__accredatn" data-ttid="ContentHearAccredatn"><div class="ContentHearDek-bIqFFZ bZgCVT">There are so many ways to be bisexual.</div><div class="ContentHearByle-kmPyCa emiglw"><div class="ContentHearByleContent-dpPmNn DRFq"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl ContentHearByl-cZqgyJ bHLeKI"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH gKcujo byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd fzZOZR gnILss byle__preamble">By </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd fPqUbj IWACp eErqIx byle__name-lk button" href="/ntributor/melissa-a-fabello">Melissa A. Fabello</a></span></span></p></div><time data-ttid="ContentHearPublishDate" dateTime="2020-01-31T15:51:56-05:00" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearPublishDate-eIBicG iUEiRd danQKH MlCHH">January 31, 2020</time></div></div><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--standard ContentHearAccredatnSocialIns-jorO fPzfaa ntent-hear__social-share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div></div><div class="ContentHearLeadAsset-hGbumP cAlrhp lead-asset ContentHearLeadAssetWrapper-hfXHEc bjtV lead-asset--width-small" data-ttid="ContentHearLeadAsset"><figure class="ContentHearLeadAssetContent-kOfYSG dRGWbI"><div class="ContentHearLeadAssetContentMedia-bLEIpi jjhWdS lead-asset__ntent__photo"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb cZenhb"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jgsWEn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb cZenhb rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w, 1920w, 2240w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="For Years I Wasnt Sure I Was ‘Allowed to Intify as Bisexual" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></div></div></span><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE qDPBn ptn ContentHearLeadAssetCaptn-hPWmSN loMSDX"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd gVwuiM fNaHcW ptn__cred">Getty Imag/ Jena Arll</span></div></div></figure><div data-ttid="ContentHearLeadRailAnchor" class="ContentHearLeadRailAnchor-jYVcDc djtEof"></div></div></div><asi class="PersistentAsiWrapper-VGrR oEIBz persistent-asi persistent-asi--align-left" style="posn:absolute;top:to;height:to" data-ttid="PersistentAsiWrapper"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jNgrSF sticky-box ContentHearPersistentAsi-fsnAmQ dFzKzm"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--has-background ContentHearSocialIns-jzJiyg fgMkJI social-ins--share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></asi></hear></div><div data-attribute-verso-pattern="article-body" class="ArticlePageContentBackGround-cNiFNN kJkLmH article-body__ntent"><div class="ArticlePageChunksContent-etcMtP bwyLBj"><div data-ttid="ArticlePageChunks" class="ArticlePageChunks-fLyCVG eOdfIs"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa UJsCn body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>My bt iend and I were on the b g home om school the seventh gra, and we were almost at our stop. For the entire ri, she had been avoidg tellg me the name of her new csh, who had been leavg her <a href=">forlorn and mopey</a> for weeks. I was gettg impatient.</p><p>“I need to tell you somethg first,” she said, avoidg my ey. “I’m <a href=">bisexual</a>.”</p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-un__slot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><p>“Okay,” I said slowly, elongatg the send vowel. I had never heard that word before. “What do that mean?”</p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p>Wh the nfince that the oler bt iend tends to exu when explag a sndalo new topic (at least middle school), she said, “It means that I like boys <em>and</em> I like girls.”</p><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad---ntent"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot---ntent" data-no-id="rp4lb"></div></div><p>And then I shouted, “Oh, my God, I’m that too!”</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-1 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>Bisexualy is more plited than that, of urse. Like her sister inti, such as <a href=">pansexualy</a> and omnisexualy, bisexualy impli an attractn to multiple (or all) genrs. (If you're wonrg, “<a href=">What is pansexualy</a>?" here's what you need to know). The simplifitn of beg attracted to men and women (pecially where the genrs are assumed to be cis) is not only rrect but also harmful. But as a kid whout a ep unrstandg of genr, I was nohels stck by my bt iend’s fn.</p><p>You see, growg up, I was nfed. Many queer kids have a siar experience: We’re prented wh only one optn of what relatnships look like—cis man pl cis woman equals te love forever!—and we n sometim sense early on that somethg about our ternal experience feels different.</p><p>In the fifth gra, when a iend of me sneered that I was gay as an sult, I thought maybe I had land on a name for what I felt. But I went home and asked my dad what that meant, and still didn’t f. I wasn’t straight like I was supposed to be, but damn , I wasn’t this untercultural “gay” thg eher.</p><p>I felt stuck. As I saw at the time, there were girls who were attracted to boys, and there were girls who were attracted to girls, but no matter how hard I tried, I uldn’t simply pick one. I was both—and I thought I was the only one.</p><p>Learng the word <em>bisexual</em> on the b that day a uple of years later was an unfettably powerful moment of validatn. Not only was there a name for what I felt, but I wasn’t alone after all.</p><p>Unfortunately, my road to strong, assured bisexual inty was riddled wh pothol, as is for many of . Over the urse of my life, bee I ternalized so much <a href=">stigma around bisexualy</a>, I’ve stggled wh claimg this inty that at first felt ctom-ma for me.</p><hr/><p>I started datg my first love, a woman, when I was 15. It was wh her that I had <a href=">my first sexual experience</a>. I was very fortable intifyg as bisexual then. I had csh galore, and genr felt irrelevant to my attractns. I also helped start the Gay/Straight Alliance at my high school. Sure, people mistook me for a lbian and hurled associated slurs at me, but I felt solid my bisexualy.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB kNleGZ sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="ox2pjd"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="ek9u6j"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa UJsCn body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>When I later started datg a man, though, I felt a signifint shift. Sudnly, my peers qutned my queerns. Even my boyiend at the time told me, pot-blank, “No one is bisexual forever. You eventually have to choose.” But stead of qutng our msed-up unrstandg of sexualy, doubt started creepg to my heart stead: <em>Would</em> I eventually have to choose?</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-2 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>For many years after that, I dated cis men almost exclively, mostly as a rult of nvenience. I still intified as bisexual, bee I had csh, went on dat wh, and hooked up wh people of var genrs. But the love terts who tend to stick, who wanted me most, were cis men. I was even engaged to one before I graduated om llege! Eventually, this led me the oppose directn of what you might assume: My sexual boredom and sometim even disgt wh the men I dated led me to believe I was, and always had been, super gay after all.</p><p>So, my early 20s, I threw myself a new directn and got eply volved my lol queer muny. I dated only women for a few years, intified as a lbian, started a blog for queer femm, and eventually got to a long-term, live- relatnship wh a woman. I me out anew—only to be shocked when I later fell for a man all over aga. I tried donng a “homoflexible” label for a few years, but two boyiends later I had to s back and take a good look at my inty and why my perceptn of kept shiftg seemgly so drastilly.</p><p>What I didn’t unrstand as I tried on the different labels was that isn’t simply our behavr that dictat who we are. It’s also our ternal experience and how we choose to scribe . The normative unrstandg of bisexualy tends to falsely fe as a strict set of feelgs and actns: We’re told that bisexualy means havg equal attractn to multiple genrs and engagg wh them romantilly and sexually siar amounts. Not only is this an credibly rctive way to unrstand sexualy, but also leav many people grapplg wh whether they’re “allowed” to intify as bisexual when their experienc don’t align wh this narrow fn. That’s what happened to me before I realized I was thkg about all wrong.</p><hr/><p>It took years for me to realize that sexual fluidy (the experience of sexual inty as flowg and fluctuatg) is legimate. Now I’m fortable wh the ia that my attractns sometim shift, and wh that sometim inty chang, which are also valid.</p><p>But ’s worth qutng why bisexualy as a label kept slippg away om me, spe attractn to multiple genrs always beg a part of my sexual experience.</p><p>What do actually <em>mean</em> to be bisexual? And who is allowed to claim ?</p><p>Over the years, I’ve created and nurtured relatnships my muny wh other bisexual people, and women particular. I n’t tell you how many tim I’ve heard of this mon experience, which often throws people to a spiral of validatn: A cis woman is attracted to multiple genrs, but for var reasons has only ever engaged romantilly and/or sexually wh cis men. Maybe she regnized her attractn to others later life and is, at that pot, a <a href=">monogamo</a> life partnership already. Maybe she feels unfortable—like an imposter— queer spac, so she hasn’t been able to meet, let alone date, anyone except cis men. Maybe her cy, fay, or culture is nservative, and livg her life thentilly uld be dangero to her. She knows her heart where her attractns lie, but her experience betrays that. Is <em>she</em> bisexual?</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="47r94w"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="RecircMostPopularWrapper-bRuGTi jkTTgR recirc-most-popular-wrapper viewport-monor-anchor"><div class="RecircMostPopularConter-jiViNn ktrplG recirc-most-popular-sparrow-trackg hi-asi-ad" data-most-popular-id="mod-most-popular-340"><div class="RecircMostPopularHeadg-iVzhzt fIrqYK">Most Popular</div><ul class="RecircMostPopularItems-dCAajf gqcRrp"><li><div 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data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>Well, yeah. If that’s what she wants to ll herself, which is up to her.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-3 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>When I was graduate school, workg toward a master’s and then a doctorate gree Human Sexualy Studi, I was troduced to the Orientatn, Behavr, and Inty (OBI) Mol. Popularized by Brent A. Satterly, Ph.D., and siar to s more famo precsors, <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">the Ksey Sle</a> and <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">the Kle Grid</a>, aimed to be a simple amework for unrstandg the plexi of human sexualy experienc.</p><p>The OBI Mol poss that our orientatn (who we’re naturally attracted to), behavr (who we engage wh romantilly or sexually, cludg through <a href=">fantasi</a>), and inty (how we scribe ourselv) exist on pennt sl, and there are endls batns beyond the dictnary fn of any given sexualy. It says “not so fast” to the pervasive myth that orr to <em>intify</em> as bisexual, you mt be attracted to all (or multiple) genrs equally, and you mt be romantic and sexual wh all (or multiple) genrs equally. Sudnly, the puzzle piec of tryg to unrstand my own sexualy fell to place.</p><p>If you too have been grapplg wh your sexualy or sexual inty, here’s how the OBI mol suggts thkg of :</p><ul><li>Orientatn: Which genrs do you fd yourself naturally cled toward? Which genrs do you tend to be attracted to or have csh on? Who piqu your tert?</li><li>Behavr: Which genrs do you tend to have romantic and/or sexual relatnships wh? When actively datg, who are you searchg for? Which genrs do you fantasize about?</li><li>Inty: How do you scribe your ternal sense of sexual self? Which words feel ftg to you and do you feel fortable donng (even privately)? How do you see yourself as a sexual person?</li></ul><p>Here’s how that plays out for me: I fd myself attracted to people of all genrs, although some far more often than others. Most of my romantic and sexual behavr has been wh cis men and cis women, but not all of , and I choose not to actively go out of my way to date (particularly cis) men. I intify as bisexual and pansexual terchangeably bee those words scribe my experience of attractn to all genrs; I also intify as queer, particularly polilly. But I make a pot to e the term <em>bisexual</em> as often as possible to bat the notn that someone else’s ia of bisexualy f me.</p><p>Bisexualy n look like primarily beg attracted to and/or datg one genr, while also havg tert others. It n look like makg a nsc choice to date one group of people over another, spe broar attractn. It n look perfectly portned wh equal experience across genrs. Or, like wh my own experience, bisexualy n look like shiftg external behavr wh a static orientatn.</p><p>Ultimately, bisexualy isn’t a phase or a nfn or a burn. It’s a legimate experience and inty. And any outsi disbelief or ternalized imposter syndrome that up for likely isn’t the flt of bisexualy self, but of a culture that don’t give the tools to talk about ourselv thentilly.</p><p><strong>Related:</strong></p><ul><li><a href=">How Alice ‘The L Word’ Affirmed My Inty as a Bisexual Woman</a></li><li><a href=">This Is What It’s Like to Come Out Your 30s or Later</a></li><li><a href=">I’m a Bisexual Guy, and No, It’s Not Jt a Phase</a></li></ul></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="cis04i"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 PaywallInleBarrierWhWrapperGrid-fyrGfS kLQIUk grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="body body__le-barrier article__body"><div class="ntaer ntaer--body"><div class="ntaer--body-ner"><asi class="PaywallInleBarrierWrapper-iBnuqk lfXXa-D" data-ttid="PaywallInleBarrierWrapper"><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--paywall-le-barrier" role="prentatn" aria-live="pole" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--paywall-le-barrier"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></asi></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ContentWrapperGrid-fvkmBv brYtrA grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="body body__ntaer"><div class="ntaer ntaer--body"><div class="ntaer--body-ner"></div></div></div></div></div></div></article><div class="ContentFooterWrapper-jVNdRG dTJkpP ArticlePageContentFooterGrid-ccsXYy eMZRHU article-body__footer"><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="ContributorsWrapper-eNpWFu hEUvfU ntributors" data-ttid="Contributors"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="TextBlockWrapper-bNZsMC dTomOc StyledTextblock-SJflO kHgSzz disclaimer grid-layout__ntent"><p class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TextBlockText-gtrMkY iUEiRd Pbwma kQegaj">SELF do not provi medil advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any rmatn published on this webse or by this brand is not tend as a substute for medil advice, and you should not take any actn before nsultg wh a healthre profsnal.</p></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div data-ttid="TagCloudWrapper" class="TagCloudWrapper-gGgndx iPNP ContentFooterTagCloud-krQmRG ZLGh"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TagCloudSectnHear-cOforY iUEiRd kgktQt kQQRmu">Topics</span><a href="/topic/bisexualy" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM TagCloudLk-kvjZFu iUEiRd fPqUbj iAqPKp hIhJOI"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TagCloudName-eAUnLd iUEiRd hJhJHy bUkXwu">bisexualy</span></a><a href="/topic/relatnships" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM TagCloudLk-kvjZFu iUEiRd fPqUbj iAqPKp hIhJOI"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TagCloudName-eAUnLd iUEiRd hJhJHy bUkXwu">relatnships</span></a><a href="/topic/love" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM TagCloudLk-kvjZFu iUEiRd fPqUbj iAqPKp hIhJOI"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TagCloudName-eAUnLd iUEiRd hJhJHy bUkXwu">love</span></a><a href="/topic/lgbtq" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM TagCloudLk-kvjZFu iUEiRd fPqUbj iAqPKp hIhJOI"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TagCloudName-eAUnLd iUEiRd hJhJHy bUkXwu">lgbtq</span></a></div></div></div></div><div data-ttid="ContentFooterBottom" class="ContentFooterBottom-jwWZfC kcbyiW"><div class="ntent-bottom-anchor"></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-footer" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-footer"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="recirc-list-wrapper viewport-monor-anchor"><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan ContentFooterRelated-kEBiFe kVUuwq"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK eRggVV grid grid-margs grid-ems-0 SummaryCollectnGridComponent-ktyEog bdTTVU summary-llectn-grid RecircListDefltOverlaySummaryCollectnGrid-AHJhY bEaXiL recirc-list__ems summary-llectn-grid--four-lumns summary-llectn-grid--TextBelowLeft"><div class="GridItem-buujkM kHPPIF grid--em"><div class="SummaryCollectnGridContent-eVUpRm gOErDJ"><div class="SectnTleRoot-dBGvdq fxVSsn SummaryCollectnGridSectnTle-fCmYwG izjbVn" data-ttid="SectnTle"><hear class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SectnTleHed-dKqZet dxqEAa iuxgWr jttyjJ">More om Self</hear></div><div class="SummaryCollectnGridItems-DZShR iJAxgH hi-read-more-ad" data-ttid="SummaryCollectnGridItems"><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff jCBznZ summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm idzIpc" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="How to Save Your Relatnship From the Social Media Comparison Trap" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">How to Save Your Relatnship From the Social Media Comparison Trap</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">Even the most picture-perfect pairs go through rough patch.</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff jCBznZ summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm idzIpc" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="4 People on What Livg Whout a Rectum Is Like" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">4 People on What Livg Whout a Rectum Is Like</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">If you have a stoma, you n poop anytime, anywhere.</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff jCBznZ summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm idzIpc" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="7 Signs of Emotnal Abe That Aren’t So Obv" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">7 Signs of Emotnal Abe That Aren’t So Obv</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">It don’t have to be loud or vlent to “unt.”</div></div></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm idzIpc ad ad--read-more"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--read-more" data-no-id="rxd85t"></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff jCBznZ summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm idzIpc" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="3 Thgs to Do If You’re a Guy Stgglg Wh Your Body Image" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">3 Thgs to Do If You’re a Guy Stgglg Wh Your Body Image</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">Your food or fns route shouldn’t make you feel like sh.</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff jCBznZ summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm idzIpc" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-5" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="7 Therapist Red Flags You Should Never Ignore" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-5" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">7 Therapist Red Flags You Should Never Ignore</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">There are some not-so-obv thgs a mental health profsnal should never do.</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff jCBznZ summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm idzIpc" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-6" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Actually, ‘Bed Rottg’ Can Be a Very Leg Form of Self-Care" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-6" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Actually, ‘Bed Rottg’ Can Be a Very Leg Form of Self-Care</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">It’s lled rt, people.</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff jCBznZ summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm idzIpc" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-7" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Salma Hayek Showed Off Her Grays and the ‘Wisdom’ That Com Wh Them" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-7" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Salma Hayek Showed Off Her Grays and the ‘Wisdom’ That Com Wh Them</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">At 56, “everythg” about gettg olr has pleasantly surprised her.</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff jCBznZ summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm idzIpc" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-8" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="‘This Undid Me’: Brooke Shields on Her ‘Frighteng’ Postpartum Deprsn" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ 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