I'm Aaid That I'm Gay | Psychology Today

Contents:

• I’M MALE AND I AM AAID THAT I MIGHT BE GAY
• I'M MALE AND SRED THAT I MIGHT BE GAY
• 'HOMOSEXUAL OCD': STRAIGHT MEN WHO SPECT THEY ARE GAY
• YOU’RE NOT GAY: HOMOSEXUALY ANXIETY OCD
• AM I GAY?
• WORRIED I MIGHT BE GAY
• AM I GAY?
• I'M AAID THAT I'M GAY
• HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?

I’M MALE AND I AM AAID THAT I MIGHT BE GAY

I’m male – but I have for the last few years been very aaid that I may be gay. However, at the surface, I fantasise over homosexual sex and many people believe that I am gay, and exprs those opns – and have done for longer than I n remember.

People fd me funny and ‘sweet’ and I n’t really thk of anyone who I don’t get on wh, however people still assume I’m gay even though I ask out many women, and show affectn to women. I have a gay iend who is 21. He do know that I do not have a problem wh gay people.

I don’t want to be gay, as I said, ep down I am ashamed of the way I feel, I still feel as though is not normal, which may have origated om my parents views. I don’t know what to do, I’m ightened that I will be gay, and am tryg to fight off, as though were an chy jacket!

I'M MALE AND SRED THAT I MIGHT BE GAY

But to be hont, I thk that much of what you say leads me to feel that you are gog to be gay. Whichever way thg turn out, please bear md that there are lns and lns of very happy gay people the world.

The other thg to remember is that vast numbers of so lled heterosexual men and women have gay fantasi - but they choose never to do anythg about them.

And then there are huge numbers of ostensibly heterosexual men this untry who marry happily and have children but who also like to fd exprsn gay love om time to time.

'HOMOSEXUAL OCD': STRAIGHT MEN WHO SPECT THEY ARE GAY

I’m really worried I might be turng gay. I go to gay chat rooms and offer to meet men my area; really turns me on. It is srg me bee I love my girliend arly but do this thought mean I am gay?

YOU’RE NOT GAY: HOMOSEXUALY ANXIETY OCD

On the basis of probabili, I'd say that there's at least a 50-50 chance that you'll turn out gay. I notice that more and more people of your age are actually ristg beg characterised as eher gay or straight.

It's lled 'Am I gay?

Nowadays, as you may know, many high street bookshops have large gay sectns.

AM I GAY?

It may benef you to take a look at some books about homosexualy. And do remember that there are mass of straight men and women – who never have any form of gay sex – who fantasise about gay sex que often.

WORRIED I MIGHT BE GAY

—and we n sometim sense early on that somethg about our ternal experience feels the fifth gra, when a iend of me sneered that I was gay as an sult, I thought maybe I had land on a name for what I felt. I wasn’t straight like I was supposed to be, but damn , I wasn’t this untercultural “gay” thg eher.

I also helped start the Gay/Straight Alliance at my high school. Eventually, this led me the oppose directn of what you might assume: My sexual boredom and sometim even disgt wh the men I dated led me to believe I was, and always had been, super gay after, my early 20s, I threw myself a new directn and got eply volved my lol queer muny. I tried donng a “homoflexible” label for a few years, but two boyiends later I had to s back and take a good look at my inty and why my perceptn of kept shiftg seemgly so I didn’t unrstand as I tried on the different labels was that isn’t simply our behavr that dictat who we are.

AM I GAY?

24, 2014— -- Steven Brodsky, a psychologist who specializ obssive-pulsive disorr, says that at any one time he has a "handful" of clients who are straight and spect that they are gay. J., said he had one adult patient who was so crippled by obssive thoughts about beg gay that he was unable to live penntly and had to move back wh his parents to pe.

Brodsky said he termed his patient had OCD associated wh homosexualy. Brodsky said a prev therapist had misdiagnosed his patient as gay, and at the patient's requt, sent him off to reparative therapy, a ntroversial method that has not been proven to be effective and n be harmful. "I have many gay clients and phobia is my bs, " he said.

I'M AAID THAT I'M GAY

Even though they know that they are 100 percent straight, not gay, they send gus .

Ocsnally, a person learns they are gay. "I say, oh, that's tertg, how do you feel about beg gay and what n we do about that? "Brodsky argu that today's open acceptance of homosexualy and gay liftyl n bld therapists to this kd of anxiety disorr straight men.

HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?

Jack Drcher, a noted New York Cy psychiatrist who is nsired an expert gay and lbian mental health and treats patients for OCD, agreed that "beg worried that one might be gay is not the same thg as beg gay.

""A person wh OCD who has is havg tsive thoughts about whether or not he is gay, is not gay, the sense that he has not rporated a homosexual orientatn any mimally affirmg way to his inty, " said Drcher. "Also, if he is not actually attracted to people of the same sex, do not masturbate to fantasi of people of the same sex, is not really aroed by same sex pornography, then is hard to make the se that he has a homosexual orientatn. Another was heterosexual and feared he had agreed wh Brodsky that some therapists may miss an OCD diagnosis, but "the most likely e of that is not that they are too gay-affirmg but that they lack trag regnizg the symptoms of OCD.

Brodsky said that a gay person has "pleasant associatn" wh same-sex attractn and a person wh OCD do not. "Repeatedly, anxly, reviewg past suatns, ttg themselv, askg for reassurance, pulsively rearchg the Inter for gay tts, ttg themselv wh gay porn or gay people. A gay person don't go through this battle.