I’m a man his early 30s. I me out to my iends and fay as gay when I was my late teens and early 20s. I’ve never been a gay relatnship but I have had a few sexual enunters wh other gay men, eher through datg apps or through chance meetgs on nights out.
Contents:
- DEAR MARY: I THOUGHT I WAS GAY, BUT NOW I REALISE I’M NOT. HOW DO I ‘REVERSE E OUT’?
- I THOUGHT I WAS GAY BUT NOW I'M QUTNG MY ORIENTATN
- PEOPLE THK I'M GAY... BUT I'M NOT
- WHAT IF YOU ONLY THOUGHT YOU WERE GAY?
DEAR MARY: I THOUGHT I WAS GAY, BUT NOW I REALISE I’M NOT. HOW DO I ‘REVERSE E OUT’?
Jt as if you were qutng your orientatn and thkg you might be gay, I n offer some background basics and thgs to thk about. However, along the l of sexualy beg fluid, I feel that while there are certaly people who are jt attracted to people of the same genr or a different genr (or asexual), most people fall somewhere on a broad spectm between gay and straight (and beyond!
Unfortunately, more often than not, 's not easy beg gay. Not bee beg gay self is hard, but bee of societal prsure and judgement.
I THOUGHT I WAS GAY BUT NOW I'M QUTNG MY ORIENTATN
As you said yourself, beg gay is, or has bee, a major part of your inty. You're out and proud and feelg at home your lol and the greater gay muny. Likewise, we don't want or need people who re about but do not re for our sexual orientatn, such as a well-tentned parent, to tell they are relieved that we, fact, not gay.
Our two ma articl on this very topic, The Be Be: A Homosexualy and Bisexualy Primer and Bi the Dozen: A Bisexualy Quiz addrs this que extensively. Speakg of articl, I'd also suggt readg The Makgs of a Homo on a young guy intifyg as gay (I realize you are beyond this step your personal journey, but you still might fd tertg) and well as Makg Sense of Sexual Media. Gay, straight, bi or beyond, the articl Supermol: Creatg & Nurturg Your Own Bt Relatnship Mols and Pothol & Dead Ends: Relatnship Roadblocks to Look Out For brg up important relatnship nsiratns.
PEOPLE THK I'M GAY... BUT I'M NOT
As I allud to a b the first part of my rponse, when you're queer, n be hard to claim that inty, form that muny and more; beg gay be a huge part of who you are. The gay muny tends to be close kn, but jt bee you're not datg a guy don't mean you have to be ostracized om !
In fact, when you thk about , the gay muny tends to be a very open and acceptg group. Everyone I meet thks I’m gay. So ’s been a mon trend ever sce I was highschool that everyone always asks one way or another “is he gay” or “ are you gay” and ’s gettg irratg.
WHAT IF YOU ONLY THOUGHT YOU WERE GAY?
In the early neti, Dan Rothenberg was havg a gay old time—lerally. ” Fifteen years later, he ss outsi a Wt Hollywood Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf remiscg wh a woman about his days as an out-and-proud gay man. Five or so years before that, Rothenberg was paralyzed by fear over the realizatn that he wasn’t actually gay.
’”From the Edors of DetailsDpe the sistence of many—straight and gay—that swchg between sexual preferenc n’t technilly happen, Rothenberg isn’t the only man to have believed he was homosexual before cidg that he was wrong. The aren’t gays who attend fah-based programs to be “cured, ” or bisexuals who rotate between male and female sex partners the way the rt of alternate pairs of sho.