Dear Mary: I thought I was gay, but now I realise I’m not. How do I ‘reverse e out’? |

Contents:

• DEAR MARY: I THOUGHT I WAS GAY, BUT NOW I REALISE I’M NOT. HOW DO I ‘REVERSE E OUT’?
• I THOUGHT I WAS GAY BUT NOW I'M QUTNG MY ORIENTATN
• PEOPLE THK I'M GAY... BUT I'M NOT
• WHAT IF YOU ONLY THOUGHT YOU WERE GAY?

DEAR MARY: I THOUGHT I WAS GAY, BUT NOW I REALISE I’M NOT. HOW DO I ‘REVERSE E OUT’?

Jt as if you were qutng your orientatn and thkg you might be gay, I n offer some background basics and thgs to thk about.

However, along the l of sexualy beg fluid, I feel that while there are certaly people who are jt attracted to people of the same genr or a different genr (or asexual), most people fall somewhere on a broad spectm between gay and straight (and beyond! Unfortunately, more often than not, 's not easy beg gay.

Not bee beg gay self is hard, but bee of societal prsure and judgement. As you said yourself, beg gay is, or has bee, a major part of your inty. You're out and proud and feelg at home your lol and the greater gay muny.

I THOUGHT I WAS GAY BUT NOW I'M QUTNG MY ORIENTATN

Likewise, we don't want or need people who re about but do not re for our sexual orientatn, such as a well-tentned parent, to tell they are relieved that we, fact, not gay. Our two ma articl on this very topic, The Be Be: A Homosexualy and Bisexualy Primer and Bi the Dozen: A Bisexualy Quiz addrs this que extensively. Speakg of articl, I'd also suggt readg The Makgs of a Homo on a young guy intifyg as gay (I realize you are beyond this step your personal journey, but you still might fd tertg) and well as Makg Sense of Sexual Media.

Gay, straight, bi or beyond, the articl Supermol: Creatg & Nurturg Your Own Bt Relatnship Mols and Pothol & Dead Ends: Relatnship Roadblocks to Look Out For brg up important relatnship nsiratns. As I allud to a b the first part of my rponse, when you're queer, n be hard to claim that inty, form that muny and more; beg gay be a huge part of who you are.

The gay muny tends to be close kn, but jt bee you're not datg a guy don't mean you have to be ostracized om ! In fact, when you thk about , the gay muny tends to be a very open and acceptg group.

PEOPLE THK I'M GAY... BUT I'M NOT

Everyone I meet thks I’m gay. So ’s been a mon trend ever sce I was highschool that everyone always asks one way or another “is he gay” or “ are you gay” and ’s gettg irratg. In the early neti, Dan Rothenberg was havg a gay old time—lerally.

” Fifteen years later, he ss outsi a Wt Hollywood Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf remiscg wh a woman about his days as an out-and-proud gay man. Five or so years before that, Rothenberg was paralyzed by fear over the realizatn that he wasn’t actually gay.

WHAT IF YOU ONLY THOUGHT YOU WERE GAY?

’”From the Edors of DetailsDpe the sistence of many—straight and gay—that swchg between sexual preferenc n’t technilly happen, Rothenberg isn’t the only man to have believed he was homosexual before cidg that he was wrong. The aren’t gays who attend fah-based programs to be “cured, ” or bisexuals who rotate between male and female sex partners the way the rt of alternate pairs of sho.

And they’re not the type who hi gay urg public while privately trottg off to the lol Andrew Br, who grew up Milwkee, was all about girls—until he had sex wh a guy at the end of his senr year of high school. When he later fell love wh a woman (who was at the time a lbian) and realized he was straight, he didn’t rm anyone that he’d been wavg that rabow flag although there aren’t statistics to show how many men go through a siar sexual shift, anecdotal evince suggts that some men who nsir themselv to be gay experience this kd of change not bee of sexual experimentatn or peer prsure but bee they ci that they want to sleep wh women stead of Ethan Robson (not his real name), a 37-year-old film edor om Los Angel, chasg women durg his post-llege years beme a chore.