Dear Pnce: I’m a straight woman who married a gay man.

Contents:

• STRAIGHT WOMEN AND THEIR GAY HBANDS
• IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND
• SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND BY DEBRA SUTTON
• 'DID I EVER REALLY KNOW HIM?': THE WOMEN WHO MARRIED GAY MEN
• WHY I STAYED MARRIED TO MY GAY HBAND: I WAS MTED AS MUCH TO THE LIFTYLE AS TO THE MAN HIMSELF
• IS YOUR HBAND GAY? 6 SIGNS THAT COULD BE A CSE FOR CONCERN
• HOW TO COPE WHEN YOUR SPOE COM OUT AS GAY
• 5 SIGNS YOUR HBAND IS GAY
• MY HBAND IS GAY BUT WE’RE MARRIED WH TWO KIDS AND HAVE GREAT SEX
• MY GAY HBAND
• THE LBIAN WRER AND HER FLAMBOYANT GAY HBAND
• WHEN GAY MEN (MIS)MARRY STRAIGHT WOMEN: BONNIE KAYE'S STORY
• ONE OF N.L.'S FIRST MARRIED GAY UPL LOOK BACK WH PRI
• I’M A STRAIGHT WOMAN WHO MARRIED A GAY MAN
• QUIZ: IS MY HBAND GAY?
• I FOUND OUT MY HBAND IS GAY
• I MARRIED A GAY MAN

STRAIGHT WOMEN AND THEIR GAY HBANDS

Why do some people bee so outspoken and judgmental about marriag wh one straight and one gay spoe? Fally, the relatnships suggt to some people “reparative therapy, ” the uhil and impossible claim that a person n be changed om gay to straight.

The men this televisn program aren’t claimg to be ex-gay nor that they n change their sexual orientatn (at least not on the show).

IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND

They report they are attracted to men but choose not to live as a gay man and their straight wiv accept this. People seem to get up arms when a man says he is not gay but rather simply attracted to men. There are plenty of wiv who choose to stay married even after fdg out later the marriage that their hband is gay and attracted to men.

They make this choice wh open discsns, which are very paful and emotnal for both the gay man and the straight wife. ” To the man, I say, “Consir whether you n really keep your homosexual feelgs and sir check. You might be able to claim your inty by meetg ocsnally wh gay men, stayg touch on Facebook, and lettg your gay iends know that you want to rema sexually fahful to your wife.

I warn mixed-orientatn upl that he may feel differently later life and his gayns may surface more strongly and bee more of an inty for him and th bee an issue their marriage. Both straight and gay muni put enormo prsure on the man and woman a mixed-orientatn marriage, and few marriag n stand up unr this social, fay, and relig prsure.

SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND BY DEBRA SUTTON

Some upl try to “live straight” and image that they will be able to not acknowledge the hband’s gayns any way. Generally, a gay man will feel a lot of emotnal distrs, grief, and prsn if he is livg so eply the closet.

If your hband says he didn’t know he was gay when he married you, he most likely didn’t know. Most of my male clients who are gay and married to women didn’t know that their inty was gay when they married.

'DID I EVER REALLY KNOW HIM?': THE WOMEN WHO MARRIED GAY MEN

He most likely terpreted his gay terts as sexual “kks, ” and he nvced himself they would fa away after he married. Typilly the men are homophobic and want me to reassure them and their wiv that they aren’t gay. A gay man n tly love a woman, have satisfyg and regular sex wh her, and want to stay married to her while beg unterted other women sexually.

WHY I STAYED MARRIED TO MY GAY HBAND: I WAS MTED AS MUCH TO THE LIFTYLE AS TO THE MAN HIMSELF

The big qutn is: How n a gay man affirm his inty wh other gay men and at the same time rema te to his wife?

IS YOUR HBAND GAY? 6 SIGNS THAT COULD BE A CSE FOR CONCERN

Matag a mixed-orientatn marriage requir endurg the strs of keepg the secrets that one of them is gay and beg discreet how they live their liv. Sometim a woman may have been a heterosexual relatnship for years and yet feel somethg is somehow "off;" and she may fd herself askg, "Is my hband gay? " Many women fd this qutn unthkable but acrdg to Bonnie Kaye,, an expert women married to gay men, is timated that 4 ln women have been, or are, married to gay men.

Unfortunately, is timated that 50% of gay hbands hi their homosexualy om their wiv and don't reach this place of honty on their own. In many s, is the wife, who after spectg that somethg is wrong, mt nont the gay hband wh the evince, and only then n hontly be achieved.

HOW TO COPE WHEN YOUR SPOE COM OUT AS GAY

But if you're wonrg, "Is my man gay, " might be helpful to know that there are signs to look for, acrdg to Kaye.

Kaye has veloped the Official Gay Hband Checklist to help women know if their hbands are gay.

A hband may be gay and display none of those signs or a hband may display the signs and not be gay.

5 SIGNS YOUR HBAND IS GAY

If turns out that a hband is, fact, gay, the fallout n be difficult to al wh, particularly for the straight partner.

MY HBAND IS GAY BUT WE’RE MARRIED WH TWO KIDS AND HAVE GREAT SEX

(If you're thkg that you n cure the gay by havg your hband go to gay nversn therapy, read this.

What's important to remember is that the hband's homosexualy is entirely his rponsibily and has nothg to do wh the wife. The wife has not been aquate any way and likely the gay hband married her bee he tly red about her.

MY GAY HBAND

I have ma a list of mon gay behavrs hop that will help other women who may be gog through the same thg. ) Gay men hate female private body parts they n even make rogatory ments they also hate our smells.

THE LBIAN WRER AND HER FLAMBOYANT GAY HBAND

My gay ex broke an anniversary dner wh me and plans for New Year tellg me that he knew the guys a lot longer than he knew me. He told me at the time of his diagnosis the doctor told him a lot of gay men have Hepatis C.

) Hidg Behd Relign-Some gay hbands hi behd the church g and twistg scripture as a form of domance, ntrol, and obedience.

WHEN GAY MEN (MIS)MARRY STRAIGHT WOMEN: BONNIE KAYE'S STORY

Megan Holgate uldn’t que believe where she was the height of the Aids crisis and she was the wag room of an ner-cy STI clic, equented by those most at risk of HIV: gay men, jectg dg ers, sex, as she had been, a monogamo married had felt “too ashamed” to ask her doctor for the HIV tt. A posive rult, back then, would have been a ath the clic a iendly gay unsellor asked Megan to step to his room and asked her if everythg was OK.

As her dad pulled up she opened her purse, fat wh not, and phed them all to the bewilred man’s hands before beg whisked is one of a potentially dyg breed of women: those who married closeted gay men. “Some women ntact the service before their hband is even aware they know he’s gay, ” she says.

ONE OF N.L.'S FIRST MARRIED GAY UPL LOOK BACK WH PRI

I’m not gay but really nfed and I thk I need you to move back to Atralia so I n work myself out.

And many of the men, embolned by the sense of eedom and h excement afford them by disverg the gay scene, pletely scrib the impact had on her children. ”Siarly, Patricia took issue wh the blok who took her hband out for a beer so they didn’t look homophobic. ”Jt like many gay men do, their wiv n go through nial perds, Roxanne says, believg they n work thgs out.

Her anger wasn’t at him, but at his fay and culture for not lettg him be who he should have been the first place: “It was like he didn’t know how to be gay. If you have had any notn at all that this is a possibily, might help you to know the 6 signs that may suggt that your hband is gay. Issu ncerng sexual sire alone are not a sure-fire sign your hband is gay, but women who report that their hbands turned out to be gay often say this was somethg they noticed first.

I’M A STRAIGHT WOMAN WHO MARRIED A GAY MAN

But remember, there n be many reasons why sex a marriage is ls than satisfyg, other than the fact that your hband may be gay. His browsg history may give you a clear picture and n be one of the many signs your hband is gay. Pop-ups of gay pornography have appeared on the puter he , even though he claims he has nothg to do wh .

QUIZ: IS MY HBAND GAY?

His social media ntacts are unual and full of people, or new iends that you don’t know how he knows them and many of which are gay. It’s highly unlikely that, if your partner is straight, he would want to put his picture and rmatn on a gay datg se. There will also be signs your hband is gay such as his behavral patterns, pecially ncerng other gay men.

I FOUND OUT MY HBAND IS GAY

He viss gay bars equently even though he will claim that he’s jt there to socialize wh his gay iends. He might even appear to be homophobic and make a lot of ments about gay people a rogatory manner.

In most s, if your hband has been hidg gay tennci om you, ’s probably bee he is the closet and don’t know how to e out to you or anybody else his life. And, if you do fd out signs your hband is gay, then the first thg that you’ll need to do is to s down and talk to him. It is entirely possible that he might ny that he’s gay om the offset, whout givg you any satisfactory answers to your qutns.

I MARRIED A GAY MAN

If you n live a marriage where you are sure that your hband might be gay, some personal unselg might help you work through this so that you n fd the right way forward for you. If your hband do adm that he is gay, ’s important to remember that he didn’t choose this life to hurt you. So, next time if you have siar doubts md, jt study your partner, check out his browsg histori and fd rmatn about his iends and you will e across signs your hband is gay.

Unls your spoe shar their sexual orientatn wh you, there is no way to know for sure if they are gay.