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He’d already had enough of his fay’s nservative relig attus and their beliefs about his sexual orientatn—he had no more chosen to be gay than he had chosen to be Floridian.

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Yet he’d e to thk of this as simply the gay male bachelor life, and even the life for some who were partnered.

GAY MEN AND SEXUAL ADDICTN

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In his book, Cise Control: Unrstandg Sex Addictn Gay Men, the factors sex addicts of all orientatns fd they have mon are:.

Is a diagnosis of sex addictn, when given to a gay male, an opprsive means of policg sexualy?

Healg do not always occur simply eeg society of homophobic attus, but openg peopl’ mds and hearts to the safety of closens they may never have felt before. How many tim have you heard a gay man sayg ’s impossible to fd a partner bee most guys are jt lookg for sex?

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Whether this is te or not, wh ttosterone nng rt our systems, both gay and straight men are wired to thk about sex every few sends – whout ls babi would be born and the human race may well disappear.

But, gays take to the next level and that puts a big block on the road if your statn is Relatnshipville. Aren’t all Gay Men Sex Addicts? In the gay muny, sex addictn is often mistaken for the norm.

Even when gay men do uple up, a lot of the time seems they n’t wa to open up their relatnship so they don’t miss out. But when do a highly sexed gay man bee a sex addict? Where’s the crossover, who cis what is normal or not and do gay men actually re anyway?

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Gay Culture is sex Obssed. But why are gay men so prone to this addictn and why is nobody talkg about like is an addictn? Firstly, gay culture is pletely sex obssed.

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Acrdg to the apps, magaz, porn s and sex-clubs that surround – a gay man’s sole purpose life is to have as much sex as possible. Of urse, a mature, ground gay adult n ignore that prsure but image a gay teen who jt moved to a big cy.

But, I hear you ask, why shouldn’t gay men screw around? On one hand, the gay liberatn movement has afford the right to adopt, to marry and serve the armed forc but on the other, we have the right to live whout the same prsur om straight society (marriage, beg the breadwner, kids etc) and many gay men stick two fgers up at the heteronormative law makers.

GAY SEX ADDICTION; THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM?

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That’s sooo Gay, Du. Sendly, spe all the recent LGTBQ progrs, there’s a ntradictory msage beg beamed at gay men om relign, rap culture and even youth culture ‘speak’ which the word gay as a rivative term.

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Gay culture is sex obssed but do that mean gay men should see sexual addictn as the norm? Who cis what's normal anyway? * gay sex addict *

We know that many olr gay men who were born before the ‘OK to be gay’ era often feel shame about sex and their sexualy but, surprisgly, there are much younger gay generatns who are also unfortable wh their orientatn and this manifts self their sexual behavur. Many gay men enjoy the ee and sgle life, havg excg sexual adventur at the drop of a hat- they fd the eedom exhilaratg. I often hear gay men bemoang how difficult they fd tryg to anise a date wh anyone, let alone start a relatnship.

Go out and have amazg sex but don’t accept any baloney about the ‘normaly’ of sexual addictn the gay muny – ’s only normal if we accept .

The longer I was the field of sex addictn treatment the more I found both the label and many of the terventns antiquated, limg and sometim even harmful -- pecially when workg wh gay and bisexual men. The more I learned, the more I saw a number of problems embedd the terventns wh the mol -- negative msag of shame, erotophobia and homophobia -- which were extribly entwed the treatment. Over the last 10 years I have bee an AASECT (Amerin Associatn of Sex Edutors, Counselors and Therapists) certified sex therapist and supervisor, and have learned a great al more about helpg people wh problematic sexual behavrs om an rmed sexual-health mol, which is lackg the sexual addictn Addict or Homosexual?

HOW SEXUAL ADDICTN TREATMENT FAILS WHEN WORKG WH GAY AND BISEXUAL MEN

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I know of clients tellg their therapist, "I would rather be a sex addict than a homosexual.

" Some sex addictn therapists, pecially those who have a relig fluence to their work, admtedly believe that homosexualy is not an "thentic" inty, particularly for those who do not want .

Callg such sexual terts a "same-sex attractn" and an "actg out" of the client's sexual addictn, the therapists then treat the client as a sex addict, and send him to Sexaholics Anonymo, which is overtly anti-gay.

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The longer I was the field of sex addictn treatment the more I found both the label and many of the terventns antiquated, limg and sometim even harmful--pecially when workg wh gay and bisexual men. * gay sex addict *

It might be g om a well tend therapist, however is still treatg same-sex attractns as pathology rather than explorg the var ways sexual orientatn n manift, or helpg gay or bisexual men e out of their shame to their te sexual inty.

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