How to Pick Up Gay Men: Buildg Confince & Makg a Move

Contents:

• HOW TO BEE POPULAR AT A GAY BAR
• THE DOS & DON'TS OF GAY CLUBBG
• STEP-BY-STEP INSTCTNS FOR SHOOTG YOUR SHOT WH GAY GUYS
• DO YOU WANNA FUNK WH ME?: A BEGNER’S GUI TO GAY NIGHTCLUBS
• THE GAY BAR: CAN YOU MAKE MONEY NNG ONE?
• A GAY GUI TO PICKG UP THE HOT GUY AT THE BAR
• GAY BARS NEAR ME
• GAY BARS AREN’T DISAPPEARG; THEY’RE CHANGG
• HOW TO MEET GAY GUYS A SMALL TOWN
• BOSTON GAY BARS
• THE 42 BT GAY BARS AMERI

HOW TO BEE POPULAR AT A GAY BAR

Though you should prepare yourself for the fact that people might assume you're gay and might even exprs romantic or sexual tert you. Chanc are, your first tentative steps out onto the London queer scene were ma or around Old Compton Street, the shg of London’s mastream gay culture.

THE DOS & DON'TS OF GAY CLUBBG

Csg a venue to ll out an expensive plummer bee you and your pals thought ’d be a great plan to smash up the toilet after your first h of gay gra gak isn’t exactly the pnacle of allyship. A mere 30 years later, sectn 28 was passed - makg an offence to promote (talk about) homosexualy schools and only 5 years ago same sex marriag were not legal.

We’ve veloped a handy gui to walk you through pickg up gay men at clubs, bars, or other venu where you’re likely to meet them. Try Grdr, Adult Friend Fr, or Tr to meet gay or bi people lookg to hook up, or OK Cupid or Hge if you’re terted makg a eper nnectn. Article SummaryXPickg up a gay man n be timidatg, but if you play ol, act nfint, and be yourself, you've fely got this!

To be fair, there are straight clubs that play great mic and have fun, nonjudgmental crowds, and there are gay bars that are nothg more than S and M (Stand and Mol) clubs. Certa gay/lbian clubs have their target clientele, of urse — wboys and wgirls (The Round-up Saloon Dallas), leather men (La Track Montreal), punk lbians (The Dyke Bar Brighton, UK), and drag queens (1001 Pub Maryl Istanbul), for stance — but what I’m talkg about is your basic glter-ball, all-wele, humpg-on-the-dance-floor dis. This wouldn’t have happened at any of the gay bars town, and we fely would have had a better time, as the doorman was jt the first of numero snooty employe we enuntered, there.

STEP-BY-STEP INSTCTNS FOR SHOOTG YOUR SHOT WH GAY GUYS

That may seem obv, but ’s amazg how many people enter what is clearly a gay bar and say, “Hey, thar’s a bunch a queers ‘ere. A gay bar is one of the few plac where homosexuals n exprs their affectn for one another whout beg subjected to someone’s narrow judgment, or, prumably, riskg harm to themselv, so expect to happen.

I went wh three iends — a lbian and a straight uple — to a gay nightclub a while back, but was separated om them immediately after enterg the crowd club.

Unlike what you may have seen on Queer as Folk, the overwhelmg majory of gay bars don’t have backrooms and hallways where wild i are takg place. Dg e, particularly the e of ecstasy and other signer dgs, is higher among the gay populatn than the straight populatn, and some gays and lbians equate a night on the town wh a night of high-energy, dg-duced spastic dancg.

DO YOU WANNA FUNK WH ME?: A BEGNER’S GUI TO GAY NIGHTCLUBS

In my qut for the perfect dance club, I tried, or was dragged to, diss of all varieti, so I know om experience that the bt dance mic is a gay bar. Sylvter, the late dis diva of the ’80s, was one of the first to target gay dienc, and he tablished a proud tradn of producg multi-layered tracks to which even the most rhythmilly-challenged uld dance. Even though he was straight and had a girliend, Ron and I went dancg together often; we both loved to dance, and if no one wanted to go out wh , we knew we uld dance a gay bar whout beg hassled.

From gym gods to nerds to fag hags (the latter beg the straight women who hang wh their gay male iends) to straight upl who want to try some place new — don’t matter. Although, to be hont, the more you look like a er ught the headlights, the more the regulars will look at you oddly, so try not to eak out when you see your first drag queen or gay/lbian uple makg out.

And often, gay clubs smaller towns or ral areas are entrance-by-membership-only, to keep out the rednecks and others who want stir up trouble.

THE GAY BAR: CAN YOU MAKE MONEY NNG ONE?

When I attend llege the homophobic town of Wa, Texas, gettg to the one gay bar town remd me of enterg a speak-easy durg Prohibn, but once si, the patrons were all nice and easy-gog. Even when loted “nicer” parts of town, gay bars tend to attract n artists, pick pockets, and gay bashers lookg to prey on the weak or dnk. If you would prefer to have bamboo shoved unr your nails to beg around homosexuals, then bt to stay out of gay clubs.

However, if you have no problem wh gay, lbian, bisexual or transgenred people general, they turn will have no problem wh you, so you ought to give the lol gay bar a try.

Damron, which has been keepg track of gay bars sce 1964, showed a 12 percent drop their number between 2005 and 2011, om 1, 605 LGBT bars and clubs to 1, 405. Gay people were so sperate for a place to gather that they would patronize jt about any bar that permted their prence, no matter how gdggly. In 1977, Brandon Jull wrote about the then-popular backroom bars—that is, bars where gay men would go to have sex—for gay magaze Blueboy.

A GAY GUI TO PICKG UP THE HOT GUY AT THE BAR

" Today's bar owners n their bs at a time when gays feel more fortable spendg time all kds of plac, when the AIDS crisis has ma backroom hookups far ls mon, and when gays are as likely to meet on an iPhone app as at a bar.

GAY BARS NEAR ME

Many "gay bars, " pecially outsi the major urban centers, attract both male and female ctomers, but big ci, far more bars ter to gay male patrons than to lbians.

Acrdg to the bar listgs the 2011-12 edn of the Gayellow Pag San Francis has one lbian bar, 24 ditg a mostly gay male clientele, and seven drawg both gay men and lbians; Atlanta has two lbian bars, 12 for gay men, and eight mixed; Manhattan has two lbian, 28 for men, and 13 mixed; and Seattle has one lbian, four for gay men, and six mixed.

GAY BARS AREN’T DISAPPEARG; THEY’RE CHANGG

" Today, women might take advantage of the cheap, strong drks available gay bars, but when 's time for dancg and romancg, they'll head off to the no-man's land of the girl bar. Which means that gay bars aren't jt limg themselv to the gay muny—often, they're limg themselv to one-half of the gay muny. Tradnally, lbian and gay bars suated themselv remote lotns, even though that meant potential ctomers had to have the means and motivatn to get to them.

The last thg closeted gay men and lbians wanted was for -workers, fay members, or potential blackmailers to wanr to their sanctuary—nor did they want to be seen g and gog om such tablishments. In Gay Bar, her memoir of nng such an tablishment the 1950s, Helen Branson wrote that "If an owner of a gay bar do not want the harassment and plats om the neighbors, he tri to choose a lotn that is not very ele.

The days, urban gay bars tend to clter together "gayborhoods"—New York's Greenwich Village and Chelsea, San Francis's Castro and SoMa, or Dupont Circle Washgton, D. In Seattle, Pony is jt steps away om another gay bar, the Madison Pub, though is a uple of blocks om Capol Hill's ma entertament strip, home to Seattle's livelit bars and clubs, both gay and straight.

HOW TO MEET GAY GUYS A SMALL TOWN

Pony has tried to re-create that sual vibe—"a place where people n relax and naturally be themselv, " as Stoner scribed —and married wh a gay sensibily. Stoner's bar pays homage to the gay-bar tradn while takg advantage of the opportuni bars of a prev generatn didn't have. He still mt al wh a gay clientele, however, and acrdg to some of the bar owners I talked to, they prent a ntug challenge.

" Brett Thomas, who owns three gay-iendly straight bars Eastern Iowa addn to Iowa Cy's only gay bar, says gays and straights drk differently: "A gay will e ; they'll try to figure out how they n get the most booze that glass for the lowt price. Perhaps, then, 's the drkg habs of gay bar-goers, as much as growg tolerance among straight on, that explas the creasg tegratn of the gay and straight worlds today's bar scene.

BOSTON GAY BARS

(The number of mixed straight-gay bars and clubs appearg gay-travel-gui publisher Damron's listgs creased by 42 percent, om 352 to 502, between 2005 and 2011. I'm credibly proud to be a member of the gay muny, and I know that gay bars were pivotal our history, but that's not for me.

On the night I vised Tommy Gun, the seats were occupied by a crowd that looked as though had stepped out of a diversy trag vio: a table full of what appeared to be gay men, a lbian uple, two straight upl, and what seemed to be a group of straight women. As of early June, the property next to Tommy Gun is the new home of CC Attle's, an tablished bar that ters primarily to olr gay men. Ntor is keen to "extend the entertament strip, " and her this-place-is-gay-owned-and-gay-iendly-but-not-a-gay-bar attu feels like a smart bs move.

THE 42 BT GAY BARS AMERI

Ntor has promoted and hosted fundraisers for gay , and every Gay Pri Day, Bottleneck offers a "blsg of the hot dogs" and dol out ee wieners. Perhaps watchg Queer as Folk when I was a young and imprsnable teenager wasn’t the bt gge of accuracy for how venturg out onto the gay scene would be.

Admtedly, before the advent of hookup apps, when I was a baby gay first on the scene, thgs were a ltle like that, jt whout the great lightg, flatterg mera angl, and wasn’t beg broadst on Showtime.