'Gay Bar' Tracks The Wave Of A Whole Culture — And One Life : NPR

Contents:

• MY FIRST NIGHT BACK AT A GAY BAR
• I WENT TO A GAY BAR FOR THE FIRST TIME!
• IN ‘GAY BAR,’ TIME-HOPPG SNAPSHOTS OF QUEER NIGHTLIFE
• DO YOU WANNA FUNK WH ME?: A BEGNER’S GUI TO GAY NIGHTCLUBS
• FOR THE LOVE OF GAY BARS
• 'GAY BAR' TRACKS THE WAVE OF A WHOLE CULTURE — AND ONE LIFE
• ‘MY FIRST GAY BAR’: RACHEL MADDOW, ANDY COHEN AND OTHERS SHARE THEIR COMG-OUT STORI
• WHAT WAS THE FIRST GAY BAR YOU WENT TO, AND WHAT DID YOU THK OF ?
• "I WENT TO A GAY BAR LAST NIGHT FOR THE FIRST TIME""IT WAS LIKE STEPPG TO A SANCTUARY."{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}LIFEBY CHRISTOPHER RUDOLPHJANUARY 20, 2017/3:40 {HEIGHT:HER;DISPLAY:-WEBK-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-FLEX;DISPLAY:-MS-FLEXBOX;DISPLAY:FLEX;POSN:RELATIVE;-WEBK-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-MS-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-WEBK-ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-ALIGN:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-ALIGN:CENTER;ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-PACK:CENTER;-WEBK-JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-PACK:CENTER;JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-WEBK-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;-MS-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;} IMG{HEIGHT:100%;WIDTH:100%;OBJECT-F:VER;}{HEIGHT:574PX;WIDTH:1020PX;}DAVID MCNEW/GETTY IMAGWEST HOLLYWOOD, CA - OCTOBER 09: PEOPLE AT THE LGBT-IENDLY BAR 10 REACT TO MENTS MA BY DONALD TMP DURG THE SEND PRINTIAL BATE BETWEEN REPUBLIN PRINTIAL NOMEE DONALD TMP AND DEMOCRATIC PRINTIAL NOMEE HILLARY CLTON ON OCTOBER 9, 2016 WT HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA. (PHOTO BY DAVID MCNEW/GETTY IMAG)BY CHRISTOPHER RUDOLPHJANUARY 20, 2017 / 3:40 PM{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"NEWSARTICLE","HEADLE":"\"I WENT TO A GAY BAR LAST NIGHT FOR THE FIRST TIME\"","THUMBNAILURL":","DATEPUBLISHED":"2017-01-20T20:40:04.000+0000","DATEMODIFIED":"2017-01-20T20:40:04.000+0000","IMAGE":{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","URL":","WIDTH":1920,"HEIGHT":1080},"URL":","THOR":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","NAME":"LOGO TV"},"MAENTYOFPAGE":{"@TYPE":"WEBPAGE","@ID":"},"PUBLISHER":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","@ID":","NAME":"LOGO TV","URL":","LOGO":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT"}},"CREATOR":"CHRISTOPHER RUDOLPH","ARTICLESECTN":"LIFE"}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}YOU REMEMBER YOUR FIRST GAY BAR, RIGHT? THAT FEELG OF ELATN MIXED WH FEAR SHG OVER YOU AS YOU WALKED AND FOUND OTHER MEMBERS OF YOUR {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}A MEMBER OF REDD'S LBGT SUBREDD RECENTLY SHARED THAT HE MA HIS VIRG PILGRIMAGE TO A GAY BAR THE OTHER {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}"I ME OUT TO MYSELF SHORTLY AFTER LEAVG THE MORMON CHURCH LAST YEAR," POSTED MEMAHSELFNI. "I GUS I'D BEEN GAY MY WHOLE LIFE BUT WAS HUGE NIAL OVER UNTIL I LEFT MY RELIGN AND REALIZED I FELT NOTHG FOR THE GIRL I HAD BEEN WH."SENOR FROG'{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}LEARNG THERE WERE SOME GAY CLUBS A FEW TOWNS OVER, HE CID TO TAKE THE PLUNGE ONE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IT WAS LIKE STEPPG TO A SANCTUARY AMONG PEOPLE WHO FALLY FELT AS I DID AND WEREN'T GOG TO SULT ME FOR FEELG HOW I {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I END UP HAVG A NVERSATN FOR HOURS WH A UPLE, SIPPG JACK AND COKE, ABOUT HOW I ME TO KNOW I WAS GAY, THEIR G OUT STORI, AND HEARG OM THEM THAT I WAS GOG TO BE JT FE AND THAT THE SKY IS THE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}THEY TOLD ME ABOUT ALL OF THE EVENTS AND ACTIVI THAT THE LGBT MUNY DO NEAR ME—THAT WAS ONE OF THE BT PARTS OF THE NIGHT, KNOWG THAT I'M NOT ON MY OWN AS A GAY MAN. {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}MEMAHSELFNI ADMS HE IALLY FELT UNFORTABLE, BUT SOON REALIZED "THIS WAS A PLACE WHERE I ULD BE MYSELF [AND] I OPENED UP AND EMBRACED MY SEXUAL INTY. AND I FELT EE AND HONT AGA!"{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}AFTER GETTG BEAR HUGS AND KISS OM HIS NEW IENDS, HE WENT HOME "FEELG ON TOP OF THE WORLD."{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}THE RPONS TO HIS STORY WERE EQUALLY TOUCHG, WH SOME G OM OTHER GAY {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}"SO MANY OF HAVE LIVED THAT STORY BUT 'S STILL NICE TO HEAR ONCE AGA," WROTE ONE REDDOR. "MY RELLECTNS OF MY FIRST TIME AT THE GAY BARS REMA VIVID TO THIS DAY THO WAS SO LONG AGO. THE FEELG OF LIBERATN, OF SPREADG WGS IS ALMOST PALPABLE."{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}"GAY BARS ARE LIKE AN EMBASSY FOR GAYS ANYWHERE," ADD ANOTHER. "WHEREVER YOU ARE, THE GAY BAR WILL BE YOU SAFE ZONE."GAY WOMEN HAVG DRKS A BAR BIRMGHAM. LBIAN UPL TALKG AND HAVG DRKS LEANG AGAST BAR. YOUNG, STYLISH {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}"CONGRATS TO G OUT, AND BEG YOURSELF," RPOND A FELLOW EX-MORMON. "LIKE YOU, I ULDN'T ACCEPT MY SEXUAL ORIENTATN UNTIL I LEFT THE CHURCH, AND AFTER G OUT TO MYSELF AND OTHERS, THGS STARTED TO IMPROVE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IT'S GOG ON FIVE YEARS NOW, AND I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DO A LOT MY 30S THAT I NEVER ULD ALLOW MYSELF TO DO OR BE MY 20S. I REMEMBER MY FIRST PRI AND HOW EMOTNAL WAS FOR ME. IT WAS JT AFTER MARRIAGE EQUALY WAS VOTED ON WASHGTON, AND SEATTLE WAS JT SO FILLED WH {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}JT AS YOU ARE FDG, IS GREAT TO FD SPAC THAT YOU N FEEL FORTABLE AND FULLY BE YOURSELF AT. NOW I'M HAPPILY MARRIED TO MY HBAND, AND AMAZED TO SEE HOW MUCH SUPPORT I HAD ALONG THE WAY OM OTHERS WHO ED TO BE STNCHLY LDS."{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;CLEAR:BOTH;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;MARG:0 TO;WIDTH:90%;M-WIDTH:288PX;MAX-WIDTH:1440PX;M-HEIGHT:194PX;}LATT NEWS
• A YEAR GAY BARS
• GEE TAKEI, PEREZ HILTON, MICHAEL MTO AND MORE OPEN UP ABOUT THEIR FIRST GAY BAR EXPERIENCE

MY FIRST NIGHT BACK AT A GAY BAR

Beg Asian Amerin and LGBTQ+ n feel lonely, wh stutns such as ethnic church often disavowg non-heterosexual relatnships while tradnal LGBTQ+ spac such as gay bars n be unwelg to people of lor.

“Fdg plac like GAMeBoi, where beg queer and Asian do -exist … It’s not like a 1, 000-year-old Korean cultural rual, but I uld create a new rual, ” said Ahn, a recent Friday, hundreds packed QT Nightlife’s monthly K-Pop Night at Micky’s, a Wt Hollywood gay club a block or so east om the old GAMeBoi posed for selfi a pk Barbie box wh dis balls hangg overhead. ” (Michael Owen Baker / For The Tim) Even historilly gay neighborhoods like Wt Hollywood or San Francis’s Castro district, Asian Amerins have long been ignored or fetishized, seen as feme and weak. In 2019, then-Wt Hollywood Mayor John Duran argued that he did not appropriately touch a member of the Gay Men’s Chos of Los Angel bee “he’s a skny Korean kid wh pimpl on his cheek.

I WENT TO A GAY BAR FOR THE FIRST TIME!

” Asian Amerin advocy groups cricized Duran’s remark, wh API Equaly-LA potg to the long history of discrimatn agast Asian men gay muni such as Wt Hollywood, whose clubs “ed to require three forms of photo intifitn om anyone they perceived as Asian. But to actually be lockg ey wh Ellen and hold her, shakg hands as she said, "I'm gay, " on natnal televisn and for the first time, as she has shared outloud that way publicly, was such a profoundly extraordary and timate gift to that moment that I will forever be grateful for.

Adam* said was dangero to e out as gay his home untry and feared beg forced to an arranged marriage wh a said he was "so lucky" to wed his soulmate, Ray, Manchter and wish everyone uld marry who they love. 'Authentilly myself'Ray said he had also stggled growg up gay the 1970s and 80s England, which was "tough" said his relig school "dmmed to you, 'you are gog to hell'" Adam returned home to Sdi Arabia, spe beg more than 3, 000 apart and later rtricted by the Covid-19 panmic, they kept touch daily and the romance years ago, Ray proposed on a vio ll and after succsfully applyg for a UK fiancé visa, Adam moved to Manchter December 2022. Adam said he had been aaid to even wear lours his home untry so the first thg he did when he moved was start to "grow my mullet, got my ears pierced and booked appotments for tattoos" relled how, ntrast, one of his gay iends Sdi had been forced to marry a woman, addg: "It has ed not only his life but the life of his wife.

The uple, who live London, said a "really betiful memory" was on the way home when one of their sons shouted out of the black b wdow to Trafalgar Square, "My dads jt got married" and cheered "Yay, gay marriage". My wdows were down, mic blastg, arm out the wdow, when I heard : the siren ll of the homosexual—Gaga bumpg om the speakers of the newly renovated (and absolutely geo) pat at Chill Bar.

IN ‘GAY BAR,’ TIME-HOPPG SNAPSHOTS OF QUEER NIGHTLIFE

I was alot of pictur wh people and I am ab worried that they will post on facebook or somethg but I have to move on and not worry about what people thk of me if they fd out that I am gay. That's enuragg a b, I I'm not one for the bar scene general, but sce g out to myself and wantg to know how & where to meet groups of other gay people, I've been tempted to see if gay bars were any better than the regular kd, & worth . If you felt a twge of boredom (bon if you thrill to disheveled, elive, gamy), then I have a book for Atherton L’s “Gay Bar” is a rtls and telligent cultural history of queer nightlife.

DO YOU WANNA FUNK WH ME?: A BEGNER’S GUI TO GAY NIGHTCLUBS

In the openg scene, Atherton L and his partner (rather regrettably referred to as the Famo Blue Raat, after the Leonard Cohen song) go out to a London gay bar, lookg for a ltle adventure, and enter a crowd: “Wh a kd of btal elegance, the group spread apart like the blas of a pocketknife. Atherton L is a skilled rear of the signifiers of cloth and archecture, the fetishizatn of workg-class fashn, for example, and how the rise of AIDS fluenced sign cisns: “A new type of gay bar began to appear London’s Soho the ’90s — airy, glossy, ntental. ) Most jarrg, perhaps, are Atherton L’s efforts at mimickg the theorists he clearly admir, those sectns that e across as parodi of amic wrg: “If the word muny is ed a failure of vobulary — too broad, too utopian — perhaps the metaphor to bt replace is metaphor self”; “gay bars are about potentialy, not rolutn.

FOR THE LOVE OF GAY BARS

He’s already told what he most miss about gay bars; how movgly he replit here, wh his wi, strobg tellect, enliveng skepticism, raslly allure: “Perhaps you uld ll a gay bar a galaxy: We are held together but kept om llidg by a fe balance of momentum and gravy. Certa gay/lbian clubs have their target clientele, of urse — wboys and wgirls (The Round-up Saloon Dallas), leather men (La Track Montreal), punk lbians (The Dyke Bar Brighton, UK), and drag queens (1001 Pub Maryl Istanbul), for stance — but what I’m talkg about is your basic glter-ball, all-wele, humpg-on-the-dance-floor dis. This wouldn’t have happened at any of the gay bars town, and we fely would have had a better time, as the doorman was jt the first of numero snooty employe we enuntered, there.

'GAY BAR' TRACKS THE WAVE OF A WHOLE CULTURE — AND ONE LIFE

A gay bar is one of the few plac where homosexuals n exprs their affectn for one another whout beg subjected to someone’s narrow judgment, or, prumably, riskg harm to themselv, so expect to happen. Dg e, particularly the e of ecstasy and other signer dgs, is higher among the gay populatn than the straight populatn, and some gays and lbians equate a night on the town wh a night of high-energy, dg-duced spastic dancg. Sylvter, the late dis diva of the ’80s, was one of the first to target gay dienc, and he tablished a proud tradn of producg multi-layered tracks to which even the most rhythmilly-challenged uld dance.

‘MY FIRST GAY BAR’: RACHEL MADDOW, ANDY COHEN AND OTHERS SHARE THEIR COMG-OUT STORI

Even though he was straight and had a girliend, Ron and I went dancg together often; we both loved to dance, and if no one wanted to go out wh , we knew we uld dance a gay bar whout beg hassled.

Although, to be hont, the more you look like a er ught the headlights, the more the regulars will look at you oddly, so try not to eak out when you see your first drag queen or gay/lbian uple makg out. When I attend llege the homophobic town of Wa, Texas, gettg to the one gay bar town remd me of enterg a speak-easy durg Prohibn, but once si, the patrons were all nice and easy-gog. The nroticism of beg closeted is like that strs of seeg a p while you’re stoned, but 24/7, and also, you like gay turns out that Gay Bar Smell (a ee logne ia one of the Queer Eye guys should sh on) was an spic troductn for me, and an inic one at that.

It’s even referred to the very first le of Gay Bar: Why We Went Out, the recently released book wrten by Jeremy Atherton L that aims to pture the trici, plitns, and fabulons of this culture.

WHAT WAS THE FIRST GAY BAR YOU WENT TO, AND WHAT DID YOU THK OF ?

A safe space, a therapist’s office, a dance club, a live theater, a place to get super dnk (or pleasantly tipsy), a spot to fd a hookup, an tablishment to drown sorrows, and an oasis to pe realy are jt some of the ways to scribe what queer waterg hol mean to the gay mass. Though, that absolutely happens too; nothg pairs better wh the third sp of “I Wanna Dance Wh Somebody” than a plastic cup of seltzer that tast like bbg alhol and Bar: Why We Went OutGay Bar: Why We Went OutNow 11% Off“Some people treat them jt as a bar, but to so many others ’s a muny, ” Steven McEne says. Cooley, the owner of the popular Los Angel gay bar the Abbey, tells this story: “One time a kid was put on a plane by his parents at LAX, but stead he snuck off and took a b here, ” he rells.

"I WENT TO A GAY BAR LAST NIGHT FOR THE FIRST TIME""IT WAS LIKE STEPPG TO A SANCTUARY."{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}LIFEBY CHRISTOPHER RUDOLPHJANUARY 20, 2017/3:40 {HEIGHT:HER;DISPLAY:-WEBK-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-FLEX;DISPLAY:-MS-FLEXBOX;DISPLAY:FLEX;POSN:RELATIVE;-WEBK-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-MS-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-WEBK-ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-ALIGN:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-ALIGN:CENTER;ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-PACK:CENTER;-WEBK-JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-PACK:CENTER;JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-WEBK-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;-MS-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;} IMG{HEIGHT:100%;WIDTH:100%;OBJECT-F:VER;}{HEIGHT:574PX;WIDTH:1020PX;}DAVID MCNEW/GETTY IMAGWEST HOLLYWOOD, CA - OCTOBER 09: PEOPLE AT THE LGBT-IENDLY BAR 10 REACT TO MENTS MA BY DONALD TMP DURG THE SEND PRINTIAL BATE BETWEEN REPUBLIN PRINTIAL NOMEE DONALD TMP AND DEMOCRATIC PRINTIAL NOMEE HILLARY CLTON ON OCTOBER 9, 2016 WT HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA. (PHOTO BY DAVID MCNEW/GETTY IMAG)BY CHRISTOPHER RUDOLPHJANUARY 20, 2017 / 3:40 PM{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"NEWSARTICLE","HEADLE":"\"I WENT TO A GAY BAR LAST NIGHT FOR THE FIRST TIME\"","THUMBNAILURL":","DATEPUBLISHED":"2017-01-20T20:40:04.000+0000","DATEMODIFIED":"2017-01-20T20:40:04.000+0000","IMAGE":{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","URL":","WIDTH":1920,"HEIGHT":1080},"URL":","THOR":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","NAME":"LOGO TV"},"MAENTYOFPAGE":{"@TYPE":"WEBPAGE","@ID":"},"PUBLISHER":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","@ID":","NAME":"LOGO TV","URL":","LOGO":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT"}},"CREATOR":"CHRISTOPHER RUDOLPH","ARTICLESECTN":"LIFE"}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}YOU REMEMBER YOUR FIRST GAY BAR, RIGHT? THAT FEELG OF ELATN MIXED WH FEAR SHG OVER YOU AS YOU WALKED AND FOUND OTHER MEMBERS OF YOUR {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}A MEMBER OF REDD'S LBGT SUBREDD RECENTLY SHARED THAT HE MA HIS VIRG PILGRIMAGE TO A GAY BAR THE OTHER {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}"I ME OUT TO MYSELF SHORTLY AFTER LEAVG THE MORMON CHURCH LAST YEAR," POSTED MEMAHSELFNI. "I GUS I'D BEEN GAY MY WHOLE LIFE BUT WAS HUGE NIAL OVER UNTIL I LEFT MY RELIGN AND REALIZED I FELT NOTHG FOR THE GIRL I HAD BEEN WH."SENOR FROG'{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}LEARNG THERE WERE SOME GAY CLUBS A FEW TOWNS OVER, HE CID TO TAKE THE PLUNGE ONE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IT WAS LIKE STEPPG TO A SANCTUARY AMONG PEOPLE WHO FALLY FELT AS I DID AND WEREN'T GOG TO SULT ME FOR FEELG HOW I {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I END UP HAVG A NVERSATN FOR HOURS WH A UPLE, SIPPG JACK AND COKE, ABOUT HOW I ME TO KNOW I WAS GAY, THEIR G OUT STORI, AND HEARG OM THEM THAT I WAS GOG TO BE JT FE AND THAT THE SKY IS THE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}THEY TOLD ME ABOUT ALL OF THE EVENTS AND ACTIVI THAT THE LGBT MUNY DO NEAR ME—THAT WAS ONE OF THE BT PARTS OF THE NIGHT, KNOWG THAT I'M NOT ON MY OWN AS A GAY MAN. {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}MEMAHSELFNI ADMS HE IALLY FELT UNFORTABLE, BUT SOON REALIZED "THIS WAS A PLACE WHERE I ULD BE MYSELF [AND] I OPENED UP AND EMBRACED MY SEXUAL INTY. AND I FELT EE AND HONT AGA!"{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}AFTER GETTG BEAR HUGS AND KISS OM HIS NEW IENDS, HE WENT HOME "FEELG ON TOP OF THE WORLD."{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}THE RPONS TO HIS STORY WERE EQUALLY TOUCHG, WH SOME G OM OTHER GAY {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}"SO MANY OF HAVE LIVED THAT STORY BUT 'S STILL NICE TO HEAR ONCE AGA," WROTE ONE REDDOR. "MY RELLECTNS OF MY FIRST TIME AT THE GAY BARS REMA VIVID TO THIS DAY THO WAS SO LONG AGO. THE FEELG OF LIBERATN, OF SPREADG WGS IS ALMOST PALPABLE."{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}"GAY BARS ARE LIKE AN EMBASSY FOR GAYS ANYWHERE," ADD ANOTHER. "WHEREVER YOU ARE, THE GAY BAR WILL BE YOU SAFE ZONE."GAY WOMEN HAVG DRKS A BAR BIRMGHAM. LBIAN UPL TALKG AND HAVG DRKS LEANG AGAST BAR. YOUNG, STYLISH {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}"CONGRATS TO G OUT, AND BEG YOURSELF," RPOND A FELLOW EX-MORMON. "LIKE YOU, I ULDN'T ACCEPT MY SEXUAL ORIENTATN UNTIL I LEFT THE CHURCH, AND AFTER G OUT TO MYSELF AND OTHERS, THGS STARTED TO IMPROVE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IT'S GOG ON FIVE YEARS NOW, AND I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DO A LOT MY 30S THAT I NEVER ULD ALLOW MYSELF TO DO OR BE MY 20S. I REMEMBER MY FIRST PRI AND HOW EMOTNAL WAS FOR ME. IT WAS JT AFTER MARRIAGE EQUALY WAS VOTED ON WASHGTON, AND SEATTLE WAS JT SO FILLED WH {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}JT AS YOU ARE FDG, IS GREAT TO FD SPAC THAT YOU N FEEL FORTABLE AND FULLY BE YOURSELF AT. NOW I'M HAPPILY MARRIED TO MY HBAND, AND AMAZED TO SEE HOW MUCH SUPPORT I HAD ALONG THE WAY OM OTHERS WHO ED TO BE STNCHLY LDS."{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;CLEAR:BOTH;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;MARG:0 TO;WIDTH:90%;M-WIDTH:288PX;MAX-WIDTH:1440PX;M-HEIGHT:194PX;}LATT NEWS

“You get a lot of first-time bar narrativ, pecially om olr gays, ” says Atherton L of the re of passage, as important as your first kiss, or the realizatn that “poppers” isn’t a nickname for buttered rn. ”It’s a sad irony that the release of Gay Bar me at a time when many gay bars were eher closed temporarily, danger of closg permanently—like one of New York’s only Black-owned gay bars, Alibi—or done for good, like the Chigo Boystown mastay Ltle Jim’s. Atherton L's book starts off a crowd room a gay bar where he's gone cisg wh his partner, whom he refers to throughout the book wh the Leonard Cohen-spired nickname Famo Blue Raat.

" That history clus the famo 1969 uprisg at the Stonewall Inn New York, but Atherton L also div to other, lser-known bars, cludg on that endured police raids meant to put gay people their place. " Along the way, Atherton L dips to other topics related to the gay muny: the appropriatn of gay culture by straight people, mic, drkg, and the valu of the younger generatn of LGBTQ people. And while succeeds on many levels, perhaps the most remarkable one is Atherton L's nstant qutng of himself, and the realizatns of how he's changed sce he walked to his first gay bar years ago: "Maybe, I thought, I'm a dis ball.

Christian Hansen for The New York TimJune 22, 2016For generatns of gays and lbians, pecially those for whom walkg to the sometime secret and darkened doorway of one was often the first step the g-out procs, gay bars have long held a signifint place their personal was never more apparent than the days followg the mass shootgs at Pulse, the gay nightclub Orlando, Fla., which 49 patrons lost their liv, and which prompted many to rell the nights they had spent siar settgs, and the sense of muny they found there. Charl Syk/Invisn, via Associated PrsAndy Cohen Televisn host and producerI ed to sneak away om my straight iends at Boston Universy and go to Chaps (gay bars often have hypermascule nam) Boston’s Back Bay.

A YEAR GAY BARS

They were an pe om the (often uniendly) outsi world, packed every night of the week, and everyone si was a Heisler/The New York TimLarry Kramer Playwright, thor and activistIn 1953, gay bars were sry. It would still be a bunch of years before gay bars would start beg ls sry, and a lot of Beck/Agence France-Prse — Getty ImagJane Lynch ActrsThe first gay bar I ever went to was the Cubbyhole when was on Hudson Street the Wt Village. Brendan Hoffman/Getty ImagRachel Maddow Host of MSNBC’s “The Rachel Maddow Show” The first time I went to a gay bar was 1990, thanks to a fairly terrible fake ID that I bought for $25.

From that day on, “bakery” was our word for gay Hawthorne/Getty ImagKeh BoykBroadster and thorOn a Sunday night July 1991, at a sprawlg plex lled Tracks the District of Columbia, I found thoands of young black gay men and lbians. For the first time my life, I felt not only siro of others but sirable to them as Counts/Getty ImagAlison BechlCartoonist, thor of the graphic memoir “Fun Home” My first gay bar was Satan’s, Akron, Oh.

But that night, the large mixed crowd (there weren’t enough gay people to support a separate club for women), I experienced the profound existential relief, for once, of not beg the only queer. ” I remember the closeted aterny boys, who had jt dropped their dat at the sorory hoe — and the girls who loved to sp and gyrate on the dance floor, earng the attentn of adorg gay boys.

GEE TAKEI, PEREZ HILTON, MICHAEL MTO AND MORE OPEN UP ABOUT THEIR FIRST GAY BAR EXPERIENCE

But ntrary to so many narrativ of relief at fdg a gay ntext, my ial experience was primarily of anxiety, bee to be where the least acceptable aspect of myself was the explic topic ma me feel more naked than the go-go boys.

Ease and digny, however, had seemed patible wh my gayns until my sweaty June bar vis set me on a new path, one that much later led me to marryg my hband, havg our children, and beg an activist for L. There, so we would go, and this time was me and my six iends — tryg to play ol as much as we Counts/Getty ImagJon Rob BazPlaywright and producerIt was the Roosterfish, a dgy ntil gay bar Venice Beach Los Angel. Provcetown was a ee and open space, lots of great performers, people out to have fun, and this is exactly what was to Bac/Getty ImagJoseph AltuzarraCreative director, AltuzarraThe first gay club I went to was Le Queen Paris when I was high school.

But still n't handle drkg public and end up wakg up wh whomever bought me my last drk -- ually another bottom like me, who ends up beg another Facebook at 61, I n't be bothered to even take a b or Uber 20 blocks away to the Elrgay/Bear bars The Castro, only to bump to bter ex's of some sort or guys I met on apps or onle and cshed on who jt weren't to me. I remember my first night there, an old guy on a bar stool the back area stoppg me as I walked by to tell me I looked like a nice kid and to stay out of gay bars bee they’d ‘ my life’. I didn’t heed his advice of urse and met my now partner there at The Dock a year later 1989 We started chattg about B-52’s when ‘Love Shack’ was playg…and was gay love at first sight.