How to Talk to Your Son About Beg Gay - Advice for Men om Dave Holm

Contents:

• WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"
• THIS IS HOW I FELT WHEN MY SON TOLD ME HE WAS GAY
• THIS IS HOW I REALLY REACTED WHEN MY SON TOLD ME HE WAS GAY
• MANY PARENTS STGGLE TO ADJT AFTER LEARNG CHILD IS GAY, STUDY FDS
• DAD ACCINTALLY DISVERS HIS TEENAGE SON IS GAY, CONSULTS REDD ON HOW TO RPOND
• I NNOT AL WH FACT MY SON IS GAY
• HOW TO TELL IF YOUR SON IS GAY
• YOUR CHILD JT TOLD YOU HE'S GAY. NOW WHAT?
• KEEPG THE FAH, AND LOVG YOUR GAY SON
• WHEN YOU FD OUT YOUR CHILD IS GAY
• HOW I ACCINTALLY FOUND OUT MY DAD IS GAY
• MY SON MIGHT BE GAY. WHAT SHOULD I SAY TO HIM?
• MY SON IS GAY

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"

First, my wife will be unhappy to learn our son is gay. For help alg wh all this, ntact PFLAG, which giv valuable support to parents wh gay children.

As I relayed When Your Child Is Gay: What You Need To Know (Sterlg, 2016), I found out that my son was gay om a note wh our son's name entwed wh another boy's, surround by a heart. I had spected at tim that he was gay. Had I asked him if he were gay when he was 13, he probably would have fensively said "No!

THIS IS HOW I FELT WHEN MY SON TOLD ME HE WAS GAY

San Berland, the mother of a gay son who ach parents of LGBTQ kids, utn, "It's not a good ia to ask. Acrdg to my -thor, psychiatrist Jonathan Tobk, "Gay children feel credibly vulnerable when g out to their parents, and tak time to work up the urage to do this.

THIS IS HOW I REALLY REACTED WHEN MY SON TOLD ME HE WAS GAY

Mol acceptance by not g gay slurs and never tellg gay jok.

Watch gay-themed shows together such as "The Fosters" and "Will and Grace. " How do they pict gay people?

React kdly to gay people the news or on televisn. In a way, you have an advantage by not knowg; giv you more time to prepare for the day (if ever) when he do reveal he's gay. They immediately clocked as gay, while we immediately clocked them as we warmed up to another, one mom anxly said: "I have a qutn: I am pretty sure my son is gay, but I don't know what to do.

MANY PARENTS STGGLE TO ADJT AFTER LEARNG CHILD IS GAY, STUDY FDS

"For example, if someone the word "gay" place of "stupid, " remd them that the two are not terchangeable, and suggt they should say what they actually mean stead. "The rourc n help:PFLAG: The untry’s largt anizatn ung parents, fai, and alli wh people who are lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, and Spectm: Offers groups, trag, and rourc promotg genr sensivy and cln for all youthGLBT Natnal Rource Database: LGBTQ+ digal directory of rourcNatnal Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network: Directory of therapists/unselors who are people of lorNatnal LGBTQ Task Force: The progrsive advocy arm of the LGBTQ+ movementDurg LGBTQ Pri Month, TODAY is sharg the muny’s history, pa, joy and what’s next for the movement. When parents learn that their child is gay, lbian, bisexual, or transgenr, they n experience a range of emotns.

DAD ACCINTALLY DISVERS HIS TEENAGE SON IS GAY, CONSULTS REDD ON HOW TO RPOND

As a matter of fact, you might someday look back and fd that you are grateful for the experience of havg a gay or lbian child. Well, my study of 65 fai of gay and lbian youth for the book, Comg Out, Comg Home: Helpg Fai Adjt to a Gay or Lbian Child, I found that some parents get to the pot where they believe that the experience of havg a gay child actually ma them a better person—more open-md and sensive to the needs of others, particularly those other mory groups.

If you jt found out your child is gay, lbian, bisexual, or transgenr, you may be thkg that such ias are prepostero.

I NNOT AL WH FACT MY SON IS GAY

The tstworthy nfidants let them vent but also rrected some of the misperceptns they absorbed om society, such as that gay people are lonely, unhappy, promiscuo, not fay-oriented, unable to have children, or sted for an unhappy life. Contact Parents, Fay, and Friends of Lbians and Gays (PFLAG).

List of Helpful Books for Parents of Gay and Lbian Children. Straight Parents Gay Children: Keepg Fai Together (revised edn). Beyond Acceptance: Parents of Lbians, and Gays Talk About Their Experienc.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR SON IS GAY

Somethg to Tell You: The Road Fai Travel when a Child is Gay. Comg Out, Comg Home: Helpg Fai Adjt to a Gay or Lbian Child.

Fortunate Fai: Catholic fai wh lbian dghters and gay sons.

Mom, Dad, I'm Gay: How Fai Negotiate Comg Out.

YOUR CHILD JT TOLD YOU HE'S GAY. NOW WHAT?

If you’d like to jo the Fom, drop a le at do feel like to fd out that your son is gay? So my 19-year-old son told me he is gay last night. He don’t “act gay, ” but ’s not a huge leap to image him beg still put me to shock.

KEEPG THE FAH, AND LOVG YOUR GAY SON

”“Don’t get stuck on thkg about the mechanics of gay sex. Bee I’m obvly the person who is gog to have trouble unrstandg that he’s gay.

“I’m gay. I have had gay iends (and been eply hurt and disappoted when beme obv. He never wanted to be gay.

To iends of me who may have gay children, or be gay themselv, please five me for my ignorance.

WHEN YOU FD OUT YOUR CHILD IS GAY

I don’t know if I’ll ever be “okay” wh the gay liftyle, but right now, I am okay wh my son beg gay, and right now, that is all that matters. What would you do if your child told you they were gay?

” Fally, Amanda buried her head her pillow and said, “I’m gay.

HOW I ACCINTALLY FOUND OUT MY DAD IS GAY

A new study nducted by rearchers at Gee Washgton Universy found that most parents of lbian, gay, and bisexual youth have difficulty adjtg after their kids e study says is one of the first to systematilly exame the experience of parents raisg lbian, gay and bisexual children. ”The study found that Ain Amerin and Lato parents have a harr time acceptg their lbian, gay and bisexual children, as do the parents of children who e out at a later study, which surveyed a much larger sample size than prev studi, nfirmed smaller studi that showed parents’ negative reactns tend to ease over time; the first two years are the harst for were no signifint differenc reactns between mother and father, the age of the parent, or the genr of the child. The study did not exame the reactns for the parents of transgenr general, acceptance seems to be growg rapidly for lbian, gay and bisexual youth.

There’s a lot of kids my school who are gay. She said that he had told her dghter that he was gay.

MY SON MIGHT BE GAY. WHAT SHOULD I SAY TO HIM?

We were poorly rmed and relyg on societal and relig prejudic about gay people, so at tim, we end up sayg stupid and hurtful thgs.

MY SON IS GAY

Durg one of our first nversatns about his sexual orientatn, I tried to talk “ratnally” wh him and ask him if he was “sure” that he was gay.

” He put his arm around me and said: “Mom, there are some stat where gay upl n adopt. Our son knows that we love him and will not reject him, but was a ighteng procs sce we surely did not unrstand the trma that often occurs when a gay child grows up an unacceptg home. I sometim wonr why I still attend a church that has ma some very unkd statements about gay people.