Gay Kids Comg Out Younger, But Parents Ask "How Do You Know?"

being gay in middle school

Gay kids are g out earlier — sometim middle school — and many are fdg acceptance. But some parents and teachers wonr if the kids are too young to really know their sexual orientatn.

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GAY YOUTH COMG OUT IN MIDDLE SCHOOL

For most kids, the social prsur of middle school are tough enough. But an creasg number of young teenagers, some as young 10 or 11, are g out as gay or lbian middle school. Beno Denizet-Lewis, who wrote about the trend the New York Tim Magaze, discs what social factors uld be leadg young people to e out earlier. * being gay in middle school *

When realy, if you talk to a gay man, you know, many of them lookg back will say, you know, I noticed my same sex attractn, you know, at 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13 that ballpark.

I mean, one of the tertg thgs that we have to look at is this, is that much of the anti-gay bullyg and anti-gay harassment that's gog on middle schools and high school is more about genr non-nformy than really is about beg gay or lbian. Is that beg gay or lbian is still enough of a pariah inty that parents want to take off the table as long as they n, or is jt that parents really feel that all kids are sexualized too early the days, and they don't want their kids at this age thkg about, you know, hookg up? So was really - and a lot of parents, when they heard their kid, their 12-, 13-, 14-year-old say, you know, I'm gay, or I'm bisexual, or I'm lbian, they tomatilly went to oh my god, that means he's havg sex, when realy wasn't about that at all.

WHAT'S LIFE LIKE FOR GAY KIDS IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS?

High school is a challengg time for most teens. It n be even more so for lbian, gay, bisexual and transgenr stunts. Judy Chiasson of the Los Angel Unified School District and Eliza Byard, executive director of the Gay, Lbian and Straight Edutn Network talk about beg openly LGBT school. * being gay in middle school *

DENIZET-LEWIS: I thk that there's no doubt that sort of as you have more posive portrayals and, I would say, accurate portrayals of gay and lbian life the media, and kids n go onle and fd all kds of rourc, that there's no doubt that that's gog to have an effect on kids, and that they're gog to possibly e out earlier bee of that.

Now, I don't thk that those posive portrayals of gay life is gog to sort of make a kid who's not attracted to the same sex sudnly say, you know, hey, this seems really ol. What I thk that the more posive portrayals popular culture has done is 's ma a ltle b safer for kids who do feel that they're gay or lbian to be able to e to their parents or school unselor and talk about the issu, which I thk is a real step forward bee for many years, kids who had same-sex attractn or were nfed, they uldn't talk to anyone about . So, you know, nsequently I sort of went nial mo, which is what a lot of gay kids have done for many years, and then my early 20s and mid-20s and late 20s, as many gay men do who don't e out until late, we sort of try to relive our gay adolcence that we weren't allowed to live.

And so what's remarkable, now, is I thk we're gog to see, as more and more kids e out younger and are sort of able to have a normal adolcence the sense that, you know, I talked to kids who were havg arguments wh their parents about gog on dat when they're 15 or 16 or 17 or gog to the prom or sort of, you know, havg their normal adolcence, I thk 's gog to create an entirely different kd of gay and lbian adult the next 10, 20, 30 years.

SUPPORTG A GAY-STRAIGHT ALLIANCE MIDDLE SCHOOL

A profsor talks about the long-term effects of beg bullied for beg gay middle school and high school, even though they’ve never intified as gay. * being gay in middle school *

”Many LGBTQ stunts report that a support system or an ally—whether a fay member, iend, teacher or guidance unselor—is often valuable helpg them navigate their school, pecially given the negative impacts LGBTQ stunts n fact, the Gay, Lbian and Straight Edutn Network (GLSEN) reports their 2017 Natnal School Climate Survey that negative school environments where stunts experience victimizatn and discrimatn bee of their genr or sexualy n adversely affect them.

”El also noted that, while they live Massachetts and their school’s curriculum is not affected by "no promo homo" laws, which prohib teachers om discsg LGBTQ issu, the state's specifilly clive curriculum n vary between teacher to teacher, and those who tght ma them feel validated. Each year, seems, we hear the stori of the clash of culture and genr when a high school stunt who is gay is banned om attendg the prom, or pays a price for gog.

I WAS BULLIED FOR BEG GAY AS A KID EVEN THOUGH I’M STRAIGHT

This year is no different, om a Mississippi unty school board banng 18-year-old Constance McMillan, who wanted to wear a tux and brg her girliend, to the Miami gay senr who was crowned prom queen -only to be disowned by his own fay. Today, we hear om a Los Angel school admistrator charge of equy and diversy, and om an advote whose anizatn has helped gui gay kids through the maze of high school life.

COX: One of the areas that has been an issue the gay, lbian, transgenr muny, as far as public schools are ncerned, is whether or not to tegrate the stunts to the mastream populatn or to some way segregate them, even if is jt for their safety. COX: Is possible, Judy, to tablish wh a school settg, let's say, a program that will benef stunts who are lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr - not discrimate agast them but at the same time, allow them to have the fort of beg an area where they n feel fortable? You know, so we would do some kd of supprsn terms of the anti-gay harassment that you experienced and plement that wh tnal terventns bee is through tn that we n really end bias.

We are talkg about gay stunts and high school, public high school, and we are talkg wh Judy Chiasson wh the Office of Human Relatns, Diversy and Equy the L. Those are the clear non-discrimatn and anti-bullyg, anti-harassment polici that explicly clu sexual orientatn and genr exprsn and genr inty as among those tegori of protectn; havg supportive faculty and school staff available to young people to help them when issu arise; the prence of stunt clubs, monly known as gay-straight allianc, or GSAs, and other stunt advocy to improve school climate; and the prence of clive curricular elements that accurately and appropriately pict LGBT people, history and life. I am a queer teacher Columb, and the big thg I've noticed, the big problem that I have had, is I live a state where is still legal to fire someone for beg gay.

GAY KIDS COMG OUT YOUNGER, BUT PARENTS ASK "HOW DO YOU KNOW?"

I thk Judy embodi what I thk is bt all people who go to tn, but I do have to pot out that there are ser stutnal barriers across the untry for teachers, gay or straight, who wish to reach out and help stunts who are havg a hard time.

And I thk the key thg - thkg about that first email - is that this is about the fact that 90 percent of stunts, gay and straight, report that they hear anti-gay ments, anti-LGBT ments at school every sgle day. Stunts we asked - a natnal sample of sendary school stunts, middle and high school, the - gay and straight - about the most equent bas for bullyg and harassment their schools, and the top three that were listed were physil appearance and body size, actual or perceived sexual orientatn, and whether a stunt was perceived to be, quote-unquote, mascule or feme enough. Sendarily, of urse, is about those stunts an environment who may or may not be gay, maybe thkg about whether or not they are LGBT, and are wnsg the price that they will have to pay.

Our guts are Eliza Byard, executive director of the Gay, Lbian and Straight Edutn Network, also known as GLSEN; and Judy Chiasson, wh the Office of Human Relatns, Diversy and Equy, Los Angel Unified School District.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* BEING GAY IN MIDDLE SCHOOL

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