I was married wh 2 kids when I realized I'm gay (opn) | CNN

Contents:

• I WAS MARRIED WH 2 KIDS WHEN I REALIZED I’M GAY
• "I REALIZED I WAS GAY": MEN WHO CAME OUT LATER IN LIFE ARE SHARG WHAT IT WAS LIKE FOR THEM TO REVEAL THAT TTH AND LIVE AUTHENTILLY
• HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM GAY? SIGNS YOU ARE GAY
• HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY
• I ASKED GUYS WHEN THEY FIRST KNEW THEY WERE GAY
• 7 PEOPLE SHARE THE MOMENT THEY REALIZED THEY WERE GAY
• LETTERS TO THE EDOR: I’M GAY AND DON’T WANT TO PATRONIZE BIGOTS. THANKS, SUPREME COURT

I WAS MARRIED WH 2 KIDS WHEN I REALIZED I’M GAY

How AIDS shattered the silence about gay liv. There’s a price of admissn for g out as gay later life. I kept wag for the moment where I would realize I was no longer gay so I uld put a halt to everythg.

I was nsumed by the p my stomach – the shame of endg my marriage bee I was gay was like luggg a sandbag over my shoulrs and havg a rock my stomach at the same time. I wasn’t sure how to tell my nservative, Geia-born and bred parents that their former pageant queen dghter was endg her marriage bee she is gay.

"I REALIZED I WAS GAY": MEN WHO CAME OUT LATER IN LIFE ARE SHARG WHAT IT WAS LIKE FOR THEM TO REVEAL THAT TTH AND LIVE AUTHENTILLY

I wasn’t brave enough to actually say the words – the label of beg gay or a lbian was too much for my soul to bear at the time – so I sent her a text msage, “I am not straight. Democratic printial ndidate Pete Buttigieg – who, like me, is his late 30s and, like me, me out publicly jt a few years ago – put this way: “It’s hard to face the tth that there were tim my life when, if you had shown me exactly what was si me that ma me gay, I would have cut out wh a knife. There was such a big part of me that did not want to be gay.

I thk you’d be hard-prsed to fd a gay person over the age of 30 who hasn’t felt this way.

When I found out earlier this month, along wh the rt of the world, that one of my favore actors, Kal Penn, is a fellow gay man and now engaged to his long-time partner, I was so happy that he was openly livg his tth.

HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM GAY? SIGNS YOU ARE GAY

"I realized I was gay last year, after 36 years durg the lockdown. After seeg a gay guy I uld see myself , I started to qutn myself more.

I me out as bisexual at 44 after my stepson me out as gay at 11 years old.

HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY

"I moved to Ireland jt before the referendum that legalized gay marriage. Once the untry around me changed and I started seeg more gays the muny, felt safer, and I felt more fortable to e out. I'd fantasize about men and watch gay porn.

Part of me felt rponsible for her ath, as if beg bi or gay and my feelgs of regret somehow ed . I also realized that the label of ‘gay’ ma more sense for me than ‘bi. But when I moved to California and saw more gay people, then I really started to realize .

I ASKED GUYS WHEN THEY FIRST KNEW THEY WERE GAY

I gus that's the pot I f the fn of 'gay' rather than bi. I have a lot of stori about folks who were homophobic but me around to acceptg me and honorg me for beg a gay man, once they got to know me beyond what I do bed.

In the meantime, I kept watchg gay porn but wouldn't accept and felt guilty after jerkg off to . I me out to my wife many moons ago but took a long time to realize that prayg the gay away wasn’t workg. I’m a good place right now and share my home wh gay iends, as well as adult children.

I basilly created my own gay muny.

7 PEOPLE SHARE THE MOMENT THEY REALIZED THEY WERE GAY

"I fally started serly qutng my early 40s and quickly realized I was gay. Pl the ‘80s was not a particularly good time to be gay — I thk fear of AIDS was possibly one thg that had me nial. I wonr if I'd accepted I'm gay when I was 20, if thgs would have been much different.

After spendg years dog all the manly thgs that were supposed to straighten me out, I had a particular weekend — a men-only whewater raftg trip — when I realized I did all the thgs I was aimg for that were supposed to change me, and I was still 100% gay.

Once I knew the gay wasn't gog anywhere, I figured I wanted to be open and hont wh people om then on, regardls of how the rt of my life went.

LETTERS TO THE EDOR: I’M GAY AND DON’T WANT TO PATRONIZE BIGOTS. THANKS, SUPREME COURT

The last thg, you wanted to be was gay, at least my md.

Eventually, after a lot of booze and tears, I fally admted I was gay. So my iend got me to talk to other gay guys and try and accept myself.

I'm learng that beg gay is normal and not really a big al. He helped me nont that I was gay and fancied blok. In Lat Ameri and my untry of Venezuela, beg gay is associated wh beg ls of a person.