Can Someone Be Homosexual and Not Gay? | Psychology Today

and hes not gay

He says he’s bisexual, but I’m worried he’s actually gay.

Contents:

IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?

Joe Kort, Ph.D., talks about his new book, "Is My Hband Gay, Straight, or Bi?" * and hes not gay *

In his Royal Oaks, Michigan, practice, Joe specializ Gay Affirmative Psychotherapy and IMAGO Relatnship Therapy, often treatg men who are qutng their sexual orientatn. This populatn is the foc of his new and much-need book: Is My Hband Gay, Straight, or Bi? Number one is the high cince of male-female upl enterg my office bee the woman thks her man might be gay.

More often than not, he’s not gay or even bi. He’s actually straight, but for whatever reason, he’s been lookg at gay porn or he’s been havg sex wh men.

IS HE GAY?

* and hes not gay *

A lot of the time the men e on their own and they’re holdg my book about g out as gay, and they want to know, “Is this me?

Am I gay? And I thk ’s very important to state right here that I’m a gay man, yet here I am sayg that most of the time the men who are beg sexual wh other men aren’t gay. That’s unual, bee most gay men, even most gay therapists, believe that if a guy is havg gay sex, he’s gay.

CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?

So how do you terme if a man is or isn’t gay?

Most gay or bisexual men will say y. ” I always joke wh clients that for me, as a gay man, when I’m walkg on the beach and checkg people out, the women are the way.

Wh gay clients, they say they feel the same way; wh bisexual clients, they say they’re lookg at both the men and the women; wh straight clients, they say they’re lookg only at the women.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR BOYIEND IS GAY

Another thg that I look for is homophobia. When a man is a long-term relatnship wh a woman but beg sexual wh men, eher lookg at porn or havg actual sex, he eher will or won’t be homophobic.

Intertgly, ’s the gay men who are homophobic. The straight men have no homophobia at all—to the pot where they’re willg to seek unselg om me, an openly gay therapist. A lot of tim the gay men never even make to me (whout promptg om their wife, anyway) bee they’re riddled wh homophobia and I’m too gay for them.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* AND HES NOT GAY

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