Is Your Man Gay, Straight, or Bisexual? | Psychology Today

and hes not gay

Joe Kort, Ph.D., talks about his new book, "Is My Hband Gay, Straight, or Bi?"

Contents:

IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?

* and hes not gay *

In his Royal Oaks, Michigan, practice, Joe specializ Gay Affirmative Psychotherapy and IMAGO Relatnship Therapy, often treatg men who are qutng their sexual orientatn. This populatn is the foc of his new and much-need book: Is My Hband Gay, Straight, or Bi? Number one is the high cince of male-female upl enterg my office bee the woman thks her man might be gay.

More often than not, he’s not gay or even bi.

He’s actually straight, but for whatever reason, he’s been lookg at gay porn or he’s been havg sex wh men. A lot of the time the men e on their own and they’re holdg my book about g out as gay, and they want to know, “Is this me? Am I gay?

IS HE GAY?

He says he’s bisexual, but I’m worried he’s actually gay. * and hes not gay *

And I thk ’s very important to state right here that I’m a gay man, yet here I am sayg that most of the time the men who are beg sexual wh other men aren’t gay. That’s unual, bee most gay men, even most gay therapists, believe that if a guy is havg gay sex, he’s gay. So how do you terme if a man is or isn’t gay?

Most gay or bisexual men will say y. ” I always joke wh clients that for me, as a gay man, when I’m walkg on the beach and checkg people out, the women are the way.

Wh gay clients, they say they feel the same way; wh bisexual clients, they say they’re lookg at both the men and the women; wh straight clients, they say they’re lookg only at the women. Another thg that I look for is homophobia.

CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?

When a man is a long-term relatnship wh a woman but beg sexual wh men, eher lookg at porn or havg actual sex, he eher will or won’t be homophobic.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR BOYIEND IS GAY

Intertgly, ’s the gay men who are homophobic. The straight men have no homophobia at all—to the pot where they’re willg to seek unselg om me, an openly gay therapist. A lot of tim the gay men never even make to me (whout promptg om their wife, anyway) bee they’re riddled wh homophobia and I’m too gay for them.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* AND HES NOT GAY

I’m Worried My Boyiend Is Gay - The Atlantic</tle><meta name="scriptn" ntent="He says he’s bisexual, but I’m worried he’s actually gay."/><meta property="kx:tle" ntent="I’m Worried My Boyiend Is Gay - The Atlantic"/><meta property="kx:scriptn" ntent="He says he’s bisexual, but I’m worried he’s actually gay."/><lk rel="nonil" href="><lk rel="image_src" href="><meta property="article:thor" ntent="><meta name="thor" ntent="Lori Gottlieb"/><lk rel="ia:markup_url" href="><meta property="article:publisher" ntent="><meta property="article:opn" ntent="false"/><meta property="article:ntent_tier" ntent="metered"/><meta property="article:tag" ntent="fay"/><meta property="article:sectn" ntent="Fay"/><meta property="article:published_time" ntent="2019-11-04T12:00:00Z"/><meta property="article:modified_time" ntent="2022-04-05T21:51:11Z"/><meta name="robots" ntent="x, follow, max-image-preview:large"/><meta property="og:tle" ntent="Dear Therapist: I’m Aaid My Boyiend’s Sexualy Will End Our Relatnship"/><meta property="og:scriptn" ntent="He says he’s bisexual, but I’m worried he’s actually gay."/><meta property="og:url" ntent="><meta property="og:type" ntent="article"/><meta property="og:image" ntent="><meta property="twter:rd" ntent="summary_large_image"/><lk rel="alternate" type="applitn/rss+xml" tle="The Atlantic" href="/feed/all/"/><lk rel="alternate" type="applitn/rss+xml" tle="Bt of The Atlantic" href="/feed/bt-of/"/><meta name="referrer" ntent="unsafe-url"/><meta name="apple-mobile-web-app-pable" ntent="y"/><meta name="apple-mobile-web-stat-bar-style" ntent="black"/><meta name="apple-mobile-web-app-tle" ntent="The Atlantic"/><meta name="keywords" ntent="heterosexual relatnship, timate relatnships, uple of months, sexual patibily, sex change, open relatnship, sexual inty, strong relatnship, boyiend’s sexualy, longtime monogamo uple, entire relatnship, medil advice, pot of the ial nversatns, lot of qutns, boyiend of a year, steppg stone, relig fay, sex partner , kd of uncertaty, Anonymo ChigoDear Anonymo, social benefs, sexual relatnship, relatnship, satisfyg relatnship, bunch of baggage, right reasons, people, crazy thoughts, nvenient tths, female partner, mutual cisn, datg app, profsnal medil advice, Dear Therapist, thoughts, mental-health, stance, parents, nversatn, man, qualy of your sex life, kids, person, letter, male timacy, medil ndn, huge leaps, Therapist, therapy, answer" emID="#keywords"/><meta name="news_keywords" ntent="heterosexual relatnship, timate relatnships, uple of months, sexual patibily, sex change, open relatnship, sexual inty, strong relatnship, boyiend’s sexualy, longtime monogamo uple, entire relatnship, medil advice, pot of the ial nversatns, lot of qutns, boyiend of a year, steppg stone, relig fay, sex partner , kd of uncertaty, Anonymo ChigoDear Anonymo, social benefs, sexual relatnship, relatnship, satisfyg relatnship, bunch of baggage, right reasons, people, crazy thoughts, nvenient tths, female partner, mutual cisn, datg app, profsnal medil advice, Dear Therapist, thoughts, mental-health, stance, parents, nversatn, man, qualy of your sex life, kids, person, letter, male timacy, medil ndn, huge leaps, Therapist, therapy, answer"/><meta name="" ntent="ar-therapist,fay,artherapist"/><meta name="" ntent="Lori Gottlieb"/><meta name="" ntent="2019-11-04T12:00:00Z"/><lk rel="preload" as="font" type="font/woff2" href=" crossorig=""/><lk rel="preload" as="font" type="font/woff2" href=" crossorig=""/><lk rel="preload" as="font" type="font/woff2" href=" crossorig=""/><lk rel="preload" as="font" type="font/woff2" href=" crossorig=""/><lk rel="preload" as="font" type="font/woff2" href=" crossorig=""/><script type="applitn/ld+json">{"@ntext":","@type":"NewsArticle","headle":"I’m Worried My Boyiend Is Gay","alternativeHeadle":"Dear Therapist: I’m Aaid My Boyiend’s Sexualy Will End Our Relatnship","scriptn":"He says he’s bisexual, but I’m worried he’s actually gay.","url":","datePublished":"2019-11-04T12:00:00Z","dateModified":"2022-04-05T21:51:11Z","isAccsibleForFree":false,"hasPart":{"@type":"WebPageElement","isAccsibleForFree":false,"cssSelector":".article-ntent-body"},"publisher":{"@id":"},"maEntyOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"},"image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","width":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":720},"height":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":405},"url":"},{"@type":"ImageObject","width":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":1080},"height":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":1080},"url":"},{"@type":"ImageObject","width":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":1200},"height":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":900},"url":"},{"@type":"ImageObject","width":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":1600},"height":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":900},"url":"},{"@type":"ImageObject","width":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":960},"height":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":540},"url":"},{"@type":"ImageObject","width":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":540},"height":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":540},"url":"}],"thor":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Lori Gottlieb","sameAs":"}],"articleSectn":"Fay"}</script><lk rel="preload" as="image" href=" imageSrcSet=" 750w, 828w, 960w, 976w, 1952w" imageSiz="(m-width: 976px) 976px, 100vw"/><meta name="next-head-unt" ntent="62"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href=" data-n-g=""/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href=" data-n-p=""/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href=" data-n-p=""/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href=" data-n-p=""/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href=" data-n-p=""/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href="><lk rel="preload" href=" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href="><noscript data-n-css=""></noscript><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/></head><body><div id="__next"><div data-tegory="story page"><div></div><nav class="Nav_root___6bX9" aria-labelledby="se-navigatn" data-tegory="Se Nav" data-event-module="se nav" id="ma-navigatn"><div class="Nav_maNav__yofcm"><a href="#ma-ntent" class="Nav_skipLk__Evjjd">Skip to ntent</a><h2 id="se-navigatn" class="Nav_visuallyHi__AbSDF">Se Navigatn</h2><div class="Nav_flexContaer__Q3LKQ"><ul class="Nav_leftContaer__cPQgJ"><li class="Nav_navListItem__cEyWT Nav_visuallyHiOnMobile__hxCGG"><a href=" class="Nav_navLk__5SUAA"><svg xmlns=" viewBox="0 0 87.83 134" class="Nav_bigA__XvGGC"><tle>The Atlantic .

TOP