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FIVE GAYS ON PROJECT RUNWAY'S DEMISETHIS SEASON OF PROJECT RUNWAY MOVED CI (TO L.A.) AND WORKS (TO LIFETIME)—AND NO ONE LIKED EHER ONE! AS LIMPS TO A CLOSE THURSDAY, CHOIRE SICHA EXAM WHAT WENT WRONG.CHOIRE SICHAUPDATED JUL. 14, 2017 7:43PM EDT / PUBLISHED NOV. 17, 2009 6:31PM EST COURTY OF LIFETIME (5) WHAT WENT WRONG WH PROJECT RUNWAY AT S NEW HOME ON LIFETIME WAS SUBTLE—BUT WE ALL SAW SIGNS OF THE BREWG WRONGNS THE VERY FIRST EPISO OF THIS SIXTH SEASON. JT LIKE WHEN FRODO FIRST PUT ON THE RG, LIFETIME TOOK THROUGH SOME SRY HOLE OF BROKEN SPACE-TIME, REVEALG A WORLD WH A PROJECT RUNWAY NEARLY INTIL TO, YET SOMEHOW TOTALLY OPPOSE OM, THE PROJECT RUNWAY WE KNEW SO WELL OM OUR UNIVERSE."ALL OF THE ELEMENTS AND VISUAL IMAG ARE THERE, BUT HAS ZERO OF THE MAGIC OF THE ORIGAL, AND TH FEELS ODDLY EMPTY," WROTE REALY-TV EXPERT ANDY DEHNART AT REALY BLURRED. Y! THAT! WHAT WAS ?“THEY’VE LET TOO MANY CRIERS ON THAT DAMN SHOW. THERE IS NO CRYG FASHN. GET SOME BALLS AND STAND UP TO YOUR GARMENT. DON’T CRY, ’S TOO ANNOYG!” AND REMEMBER HOW STOKED WE WERE TO HAVE BACK? SEASON 6 PREMIERED ON LIFETIME TO WELL OVER 4 LN HUNGRY HIPPOS. THIS WAS A MASSIVE UPTICK OVER THE PREMIERE OF SEASON 5 BACK ON BRAVO, WHICH DIDN'T EVEN H 3 LN. BUT, DISENCHANTED WH THIS STRANGE PARALLEL DIMENSN, MORE OFTEN THAN NOT VIEWERS LEFT EACH WEEK.WOMEN VIEWERS THE AD-IENDLY MARKET OF WOMEN 18 TO 49 LEFT. THEY WERE DOWN 25 PERCENT BETWEEN THE PREMIERE AND EPISO 9. (WHAT'S MORE, DURG SEASON 5 AVERAGE VIEWERSHIP HAD ACTUALLY CLIMBED THROUGHOUT THE SEASON—PEOPLE WEREN'T, YOU KNOW, NNG SCREAMG OM THE SHOW. DURG THIS SEASON, THEY WERE, PRUMABLY, BACK TO BRAVO, TO THE WAG ARMS OF REAL HOEWIV NENE AND KANDI OR WHOEVER.)I TURNED, OF URSE, TO HOMOSEXUALS TO EXPLA WHAT WENT WRONG. I POLLED SOME OF THE SHOW'S RE DIENCE—SMART, URBAN-LIVG HOMOSEXUALS WHO N AFFORD TO BOTH WEAR CLOTHG AND OWN TELEVISNS—AND ASKED THEM: OMG YOU GUYS WTF?LOTN: THAT GROSS OTHER COAST.MY FIRST SURPRISE ME WHEN MOST OF THE GAY IENDS I ASKED ABOUT PROJECT RUNWAY WERE ALL, "OH, I STOPPED WATCHG THAT LIKE SEASON 3." THAT'S TYPIL: GAYS GET JAD EXTRA-FAST THE DAYS! DIGGG EPER, HOWEVER, I FOUND FOLKS WHO STILL WATCHED THE SHOW RELIGLY—AND BOY HOWDY, WERE THEY EVER DISGNTLED.THE TWO MOST GLARG—AND, REALLY, POTENTIALLY AWOME!—CHANG TO PROJECT RUNWAY WERE, UNFORTUNATELY, WHAT PEOPLE SAID THEY NEVER GOT OVER: A CHANGE OF WORKS AND A CHANGE OF ASTS."3 WORDS... LOS ANGEL LIFETIME," SUGGTED TIM SMH, A NEW YORK ARTISTS' STUD MANAGER, A SUMMATN OF THE SEASON. "SUCKED SUCKED SUCKED.""L.A. L.A. IS WHAT WENT WRONG. SUN-ADDLED BRAS MA FOR IRRELEVANT HACK SIGN," SUGGTED SHANE HOFFMAN, AN ACUPUNCTURE PRACTNER NEW YORK.WHAT'S MORE, WHAT ARE, TO NEW YORKERS, NCERNS ABOUT THE WELL-KNOWN ABILY OF ANYONE PERMANENTLY OR TEMPORARILY WH THE UNTY OF LOS ANGEL TO BE ABLE TO THK OR EVEN SPEAK WERE OFTEN MGLED WH DISFORT AT THE STEPS TAKEN TO MAKE THE SHOW'S DRAMA HAPPEN. WHICH MEANS….IT'S ABOUT STORY: DPERATE NARRATIV.THIS SEASON SHOWED A DISTASTEFUL, CRGE-WORTHY HUNGER ON THE PART OF NEW PRODUCERS BUNIM/MURRAY—WHO TOOK OVER FOR THE MAGIL ELV—TO MAKE STORY HAPPEN. BUT THEY DIDN'T ALWAYS KNOW HOW TO AME WHEN THEY DID HAVE A STORY. TAKE THE S OF JOHNNY AND IRA.IN EPISO 1, RIGHT OFF THE BAT, WE WERE TREATED TO JOHNNY'S SOBBG OVER HIS CRYSTAL METH ADDICTN.SHANE: "THEY SIGNED ON PEOPLE WH STORI RATHER THEN PEOPLE WH PERSONALI. EXCEPT THE SE OF THAT DARK-HAIRED GAY ONE. CRYG IS NOT A STORY. GO TO THERAPY OR DRK MORE OR SOMETHG. IT WAS SOOO TIRG TO SEE THAT GAY'S WHNYG AND WEEPG WEEK AFTER WEEK. THIS IS CLEAR A RULT OF THE OVERSHARG, OVEREMOTNAL L.A. EXPERIENCE. PEOPLE L.A. RE OR PRETEND TO. NEW YORKERS AND THE RT OF THE WORLD DON'T RE."LET TURN ALSO TO SHANE'S PARTNER, MICHAEL GODDARD, A THEATRIL AGENT: "THEY'VE LET TOO MANY CRIERS ON THAT DAMN SHOW. THERE IS NO CRYG FASHN. GET SOME BALLS AND STAND UP TO YOUR GARMENT. DON'T CRY, 'S TOO ANNOYG!"AND THE SE OF IRA? BASILLY THE PRODUCERS HAD SPOTLIGHT-WIELDG HELIPTERS CIRCLE IRA, WH GIANT BILLBOARDS ALL AROUND HER TO LET KNOW SHE WAS EVIL. IT WAS SO AMPED UP—AND SIARLY, NEHER DO WE THK THAT JOHNNY CRI EVERY DAY!—THAT WAS UNBELIEVABLE. "SUCH IS THE EXTENT OF HER VILLAY THAT WHEN 'S BED WH THE SHEER BLANDNS OF THE RT OF THIS SEASON, TURNS OUT SHE'S NOT MUCH OF A VILLA," WROTE PROJECT RUNGAY.WELL, TO ADDRS THE ISSUE OF IRA, WE MT LL OUR TOKEN STRAIGHT MAN, TOM SC, A MARRIED FATHER THE SUBURBS OF WASHGTON, D.C.: "THIS PAST EPISO, AS SHE WAS SQUTG OVER A PILE OF FAKE PELTS WHILE ONCE AGA MAKG THREE PIEC WHILE EVERYONE ELSE MA ONE, I REALIZED THAT WHAT SHE IS IS NOT A NEW YORK PRCS BUT A CRAZY DOMABLE IMMIGRANT. SUDNLY I ULD SEE HER A BABHKA. SHE'S MEAN FOR TWO REASONS. ONE IS THAT SHE HAS IMMIGRANT SNOBBISHNS—SHE HAS NO E FOR ANYTHG THAT DON'T LOOK LUXE, BEE YOU DON'T WANT TO EVER BE MISTAKEN FOR POOR. SO SHE HAS A SO-CLASSY-'S-TRASHY THG. BUT THE OTHER REASON SHE'S MEAN IS THAT SHE LOOKS AT THE SOFT LTLE AMERINS FLUTTERG AROUND THE WORKROOM AND PLAYG GRABASS AND HAVG DHERG FS ABOUT THEIR CLOTH, AND SHE'S LIKE, WHY ARE YOU SO WEAK AND PABLE OF HARD WORK? AND SHE MAK THE FUCK OUT OF SOME CLOTH, WHETHER YOU LIKE HOW THEY LOOK OR NOT."PRODUCG IRA TO A VILLA WAS A MISTAKE—BEE SHE WAS ACTUALLY A GOOD FOIL ALREADY, FOR STARTERS, AND, OH RIGHT, SHE ULD ACTUALLY SEW. WHICH IS WHAT WE WERE DOG HERE AT PROJECT RUNWAY, RIGHT? SEWG? ANYONE?AND THEN THERE WENT THE GAYS.FOR THE SEND TIME RUNWAY HISTORY—WHICH IS TO SAY, THIS HAS HAPPENED ONE-THIRD OF THE TIME!—WE END UP WH AN ALL-WOMAN FAL THREE.BCE, TIM SMH'S PARTNER LIFE AND BS AT ARTISTS ROURCE MANAGEMENT, WAS NOT PLEASED: "I AM ALL FOR DIVERSY AND PLAYG TO YOUR DIENCE’S MOGRAPHIC, BUT PLEASE. AND NOT TO SOUND PLETELY MISOGYNISTIC, BUT THREE WOMEN AS FALISTS? NO FAGS? REALLY? THE WOMEN WERE PROBABLY THE MOST TALENTED, BUT OBVLY WHEN YOU TELL THE BUNIM/MURRAY STG JUGGERNT, 'THIS IS LIFETIME: TELEVISN FOR WOMEN, NOT TALENTED GAY MALE FASHN SIGNERS,' YOU GET WHAT YOU GET!"MEOW! EQUALLY SPIC WAS AN OPPOSE OPERATN: THE WAY THAT SOME GAY GUYS WERE KEPT ON THE SHOW SO LONG. IT MAK SENSE THAT PRODUCERS WOULD KEEP SOME GAYS THE MIX, RIGHT, BEE YOU KNOW HOW ANGRY THE GAYS GET.TOM: "ONE FORM OF THEIR TERVENTNS HAS BEEN TO TAKE A PARTICULAR KD OF BOYISH, ALL-AMERIN GAY WHO IS OVERMATCHED AND TO KEEP HIM OUT THERE CRYG ON THE NWAY THE BOTTOM THREE WEEK AFTER WEEK. IN THE FIRST WEEKS OF THE SHOW, WAS THIS ONE GUY WHO LOOKED LIKE MATT DAMON'S GAY LTLE BROTHER AND WHO WAS LERALLY FAILG TO GET A ABLE GARMENT PUT TOGETHER, BUT WHO DIDN'T GET DUMPED TILL HIS THIRD FAILURE."POOR GAYS. AND THEN THERE'S THE WORST PROBLEM OF THE SEASON.FAIR PLAY: JUDGG DYNAMICS AND HEIDI DOMANCEYOU WOULD HAVE THOUGHT WE'D APPRECIATE SOME RELIEF OM THE ANNOYG OMNIPRENCE OF LONGTIME JUDG MICHAEL KORS AND NA GARCIA, WHO APPARENTLY DON'T LIKE TO GO TO L.A. EHER. NEARLY EVERY EPISO, WE GOT A GUT JUDGE ONE OR BOTH OF THEIR PLAC. INRRECT! IN THE END, WE MISSED THEM.THIS WASN'T JT DISPTIVE TO THE VIEWER— MA NTTANTS TENSE, NFED, AND A LTLE BTER. "THEY WANT SOMETHG BIGGER, THEY WANT THIS AND THAT, BUT AS SOON AS YOU DO , YOU’RE GIVG THEM THE OPPORTUNY TO KICK YOU OUT," GORDANA TOLD PROJECT RUNGAY OVER THE WEEKEND. WH SO MUCH JUDGE ROTATN, NO ONE JUDGE EVER TOLD ANY NTTANT THE SAME THG TWICE. (ALSO? WHY DID HEIDI APPEAR TO HATE GORDANA SO MUCH? THAT WAS JT WEIRD!)IN THE END, THIS WAS THE YEAR OF THE HEIDI. BEE OF THE OFT-MISSG KORS AND GARCIA, HER POWER ON THE SHOW BEME AS SWOLLEN AS HER BELLY.BCE NOTED THE "NSISTENT QUALY" OF THE JUDGG, AND EVEN MISSED "MICHAEL KORS' WTY REPARTEE," AND IF MICHAEL KORS IS BASILLY NOW RELLED AS THE SHOW'S DOROTHY PARKER, JT GO TO SHOW HOW DRY THIS SEASON WAS.TOM: "HEIDI KEEPS DOG THIS WEIRD APPARATCHIK THG WHERE SHE TRI TO STEER THE JUDGG DISCSN BY MAKG UNPERSUASIVE CLAIMS THE SERVICE OF WHAT THE PRODUCERS WANT. LIKE EVERYONE WAS READY TO DO AWAY WH THE LUNKHEAD EYE-NDY GUY, AND HEIDI WAS LIKE, OH, I DIDN'T THK HIS WAS SO BAD AT ALL. YEAH, WAS TO THE POT WHERE GUT JUDGE MILLA JOVOVICH, WHO WAS ACTUALLY THE FAIRT AND MOST CISIVE JUDGE THEY'VE HAD ALL YEAR, WAS LIKE, I'M SORRY, THIS ISN'T PROJECT NOT-SO-BAD."CONFN AND BAD JUDGG NSPIRED TO CREATE THE WORST CRIME OF ALL: BAD OUTFS. UNFIVABLE!SHANE: "WE'RE WATCHG A FASHN REALY-TV SHOW TO SEE THE PEOPLE TORTURED UNTIL THE PRSURE OKER YIELDS OM THEIR LD, STRSED, BLEEDG HANDS SOMETHG OF ATHETIC AQUACY AND IMPORT." WE ONLY GOT SUCH THRILLS A FEW TIM—REMEMBER GORDANA'S ACTUAL GARMENT MA OF ACTUAL NEWSPAPER? INSTEAD, TOO OFTEN, WE GOT THE TORTURE BUT NEVER S REWARD.PL: CHECK OUT MORE OF THE LATT ENTERTAMENT, FASHN, AND CULTURE VERAGE ON SEXY BEAST—PHOTOS, VIOS, FEATUR, AND TWEETS.CHOIRE SICHA IS -PROPRIETOR OF THE AWL AND IS AT WORK ON A NONFICTN BOOK FOR HARPERSTUD. CHOIRE SICHA
)I turned, of urse, to homosexuals to expla what went wrong.
I polled some of the show's re dience—smart, urban-livg homosexuals who n afford to both wear clothg and own televisns—and asked them: OMG you guys WTF?
Lotn: That Gross Other first surprise me when most of the gay iends I asked about Project Runway were all, "Oh, I stopped watchg that like Season 3.