My 12 yr old dghter has said she is gay. As a fay we have always been very open about there beg no stigma
Contents:
- HOW CHRISTIAN PARENTS SHOULD RPOND TO THEIR CHILD'S GAY INTY CRISIS
- YOUR 9-YEAR-OLD THKS SHE'S GAY
- COMG OUT AS GAY IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
- IS YOUR CHILD GAY?
- GAY KIDS COMG OUT YOUNGER, BUT PARENTS ASK "HOW DO YOU KNOW?"
- DGHTER SAYS SHE'S GAY
HOW CHRISTIAN PARENTS SHOULD RPOND TO THEIR CHILD'S GAY INTY CRISIS
When a child first out as eher beg gay or havg same-sex attractn their parents' ial rpons are ually the wrong on, says Chris Doyle, a psychotherapist who specializ SSA. * 10 year old daughter gay *
When parents learn that their child is gay, lbian, bisexual, or transgenr, they n experience a range of emotns. As a matter of fact, you might someday look back and fd that you are grateful for the experience of havg a gay or lbian child. Well, my study of 65 fai of gay and lbian youth for the book, Comg Out, Comg Home: Helpg Fai Adjt to a Gay or Lbian Child, I found that some parents get to the pot where they believe that the experience of havg a gay child actually ma them a better person—more open-md and sensive to the needs of others, particularly those other mory groups.
If you jt found out your child is gay, lbian, bisexual, or transgenr, you may be thkg that such ias are prepostero.
The tstworthy nfidants let them vent but also rrected some of the misperceptns they absorbed om society, such as that gay people are lonely, unhappy, promiscuo, not fay-oriented, unable to have children, or sted for an unhappy life. When a child first out to their parents as eher beg gay or havg same-sex attractn, their ial rpons are ually the wrong on, says Chris Doyle, a psychotherapist who specializ York Cy gay pri para crowd this undated photo. "Sce homosexualy is beg more wily accepted Amerin society, an creasg number of teens who experience SSA are intifyg as gay.
YOUR 9-YEAR-OLD THKS SHE'S GAY
How to talk to your 9 year old dghter who thks she is gay * 10 year old daughter gay *
They believe that if you experience same-sex attractns, then you're gay, " Doyle told the negative rpons parents have, acrdg to Doyle, are avoidg the issue by barrg their child om talkg about SSA or their gay inty; believg that 's a passg phase; or threateng to kick their olr teen or 20-somethg child out of the hoe. He also emphasized that parents nnot talk their child out of beg gay or havg SSA.
"We know, our clil rearch over the last 25 years, that fay culture, environment and other non-blogil factors play a signifint role the velopment of same-sex attractn, " he asserted, addg that parents shouldn't seek therapy as an attempt to change their the book, Gay Children, Straight Parents: A Plan for Fay Healg, wrten by Richard Cohen, executive director of IHF, Doyle said 12 prcipl are discsed to help fai navigate through SSA and s . "Regardg sleepovers and big life events such as parents' attendg a child's same-sex weddg ceremony, Doyle suggted that parents treat their homosexual child the same as they would their heterosexual the se of sleepovers, parents should mata the same standards for every child and not allow their gay intified or SSA child to have somone they're attracted to spend the night wh them. "The same l should apply to heterosexual upl and homosexual upl, " he when down to attendg a child's gay weddg ceremony, Doyle suggted that attendg the ceremony don't necsarily reflect that the parents agree wh same-sex marriage, their prence merely shows their love for their child.
— Dodie HofstetterExpert advice"A lot more parents are gog to hear this as we see more openly gay upl our culture and kids meet more fai wh gay parents, " says psychologist Anne Dohrenwend, thor of "Comg Around: Parentg Lbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgenr Kids" (New Horizon Prs).
COMG OUT AS GAY IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
Gay kids are g out earlier — sometim middle school — and many are fdg acceptance. But some parents and teachers wonr if the kids are too young to really know their sexual orientatn. * 10 year old daughter gay *
"It's possible a 9-year-old girl is simply feelg unfortable around boys and experiencg genue affectn toward her girliends and ncludg, "I'm gay. " Especially if she knows neighbors, fay iends or relativ who are gay, says may or may not be. Other people don't know their sexualy until much, much later — gay or straight.
”Dannielle Owens-Reid and Krist Rso, -founrs of Everyone Is Gay and -thors of This Is a Book for Parents of Gay Kids, attribute lower g-out ag to the power of reprentatn. The next generatn is growg up wh gay characters on their televisns, pansexual rappers on their playlists, and queer micro-muni on their Tumblr the change also means that there is a new generatn of fai scramblg to raise LGBT kids who have specific needs and challeng — kids who are growg up a society that, while creasgly LGBT-tolerant, is still plagued by hate crim, job discrimatn, and the more banal, everyday sort of homophobia borne by sual ignorance.
“Beg gay was somethg I never really qutned, ” said Chloe Charbonne, a 12-year-old om Stockbridge, Massachetts. ”Like Kate Ree, Chloe spent early childhood sred and nfed about cshg on girls, pecially after beg lled an anti-gay slur for the first time the fourth gra.
IS YOUR CHILD GAY?
“From then on, I pretend to like boys, bee I thought that [gay] was a wrong thg to be. They first intified as gay, then, a few months later, also began intifyg as genrls (as a rult, Chloe now prefers “they” and “them” pronouns).
GAY KIDS COMG OUT YOUNGER, BUT PARENTS ASK "HOW DO YOU KNOW?"
Amelia, a Midwtern mother of a 10-year-old boy who first began intifyg as gay when he was 7, said that her son’s unabashed outns tends to startle many adults who would rather not thk about children havg sexual sir.
”Amelia, through her blog and teractns wh the adults her gay son’s life, tri to battle this stigma. “As a society, if we n open up our ia to what gay means, we n be a lot ls unfortable wh the ia of children intifyg, ” she said. “Maybe he’s not really gay, ” adults have said to Amelia about her hears all the time too.
DGHTER SAYS SHE'S GAY
“Before this current generatn of kids, children weren’t raised wh gay people, ” Amelia said. A lot of gay adults say, ‘I knew I was gay when I was krgarten, but I didn’t have the vobulary to scribe what I was.
"A lot of gay adults say, ‘I knew I was gay when I was krgarten, but I didn’t have the vobulary to scribe what I was. ”A uple of years ago, when she was 11, Kate cycled through the non-straight possibili before g out to her fay — was she gay? “Consirg how much more fluid the younger generatn is about sexualy, ” she said, “[Informatn about and accs to queer culture] shouldn’t only be ma available to gay intified children — should be [available] to all children.
” Kate’s mother, Ey, driv her to a LGBT youth group town, sce there’s no straight or gay alliance at her is proud of Kate for beg vol about her inty and passnate about LGBT issu.