In this week’s What Your Therapist Really Thks lumn, an 18-year-old wants to know what to do about his parents, who haven’t accepted that he is gay.
Contents:
- HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?
- AM I GAY?
- HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY
- HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY
- ALWAYS KNEW I WAS ADOPTED; JT FOUND OUT I’M GAY
- ‘MY PARENTS STILL WON’T ACCEPT THAT I’M GAY!’
HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?
It's hard. We know. Maybe you're straight and found out (or know) your csh isn't, or maybe you're gay or bi and they're straight, which is a particularly difficult suatn. Eher way, 's your bt tert to get over .... * found out i'm not gay *
In orr to have doubts about one’s sexual inty, a sufferer need not ever have had a homo- or heterosexual experience, or any type of sexual experience at all. If the sufferer is heterosexual, then the thought may be that they are homosexual. If on the other hand they happen to be homosexual they may obss about the possibily that they might really be straight.
AM I GAY?
Are you qutng your sexualy? Fd out if you’re gay, straight, bisexual, or asexual. Learn what the terms mean and if they apply to you. * found out i'm not gay *
” Some people’s doubts are further plited by havg such experienc as hearg other people talkg or lookg their directn and thkg that the people mt be analyzg their behavr or appearance and talkg about them – discsg how they mt be gay (or straight). For those wh thoughts of beg homosexual, part of the distrs mt surely be social orig.
Let’s face , gay people have always been an opprsed mory wh our culture, and to sudnly thk of beg this posn, and to be stigmatized this way, n be ighteng. I have sometim wonred if those who experience the most distrs om such thoughts as the do so bee they were raised wh more strongly homophobic or anti-gay attus to beg wh, or if is simply bee one’s sexualy n be such a basic doubt.
HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY
Lookg at attractive men or women, or pictur of them, or readg sexually oriented lerature or pornography (hetero- or homosexual), to see if they are sexually excg.
Observg themselv for evince of “lookg, ” talkg, walkg, drsg, or gturg like someone who is eher gay or straight. Compulsively reviewg and analyzg past teractns wh other men or women to see if they have acted like a gay or straight person.
Readg articl on the ter about how an dividual n tell if they are gay or straight to see which group they might be most siar to.
HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY
Do you thk I uld be gay (or straight)? How n I tell if I’m really gay (or straight)?
ALWAYS KNEW I WAS ADOPTED; JT FOUND OUT I’M GAY
Can you sudnly turn to a homosexual (or heterosexual) even if you have never felt or acted that that way?
Do I look (or act) gay (or straight) to you?
If I get sexual sensatns when viewg sexual material of an oppose orientatn do mean I am gay (or straight)? A typil example would be a heterosexual man who experienc an erectn while lookg at gay eroti.
‘MY PARENTS STILL WON’T ACCEPT THAT I’M GAY!’
This reactn is strengthened by the rrect belief that homosexual cu never stimulate heterosexuals. Avoidg standg close to, touchg or bshg agast members of the same sex (or oppose sex if the sufferer is gay). Not readg or lookg at vios news reports books or articl havg anythg to do wh gay people or other sexual subjects.
Never sayg the words “gay, ” “homosexual, ” (or “straight”) or any other related term. Tryg to not look or act effemately (if a man), or a mascule way (if a woman), (or vice versa if the sufferer is gay).