Why Parenthood, and Why Now?: Gay Men’s Motivatns for Pursug Parenthood - PMC

Contents:

• WHY GAY PARENTS MAY BE THE BT PARENTS
• GAY PARENTS AS GOOD AS STRAIGHT ON
• KIDS CAN THRIVE WH GAY PARENTS
• FOR GAY MEN, HAVG A BLOGIL CHILD N BE PLITED
• 5 GAY PARENTG MYTHS
• WHY PARENTHOOD, AND WHY NOW?: GAY MEN’S MOTIVATNS FOR PURSUG PARENTHOOD

WHY GAY PARENTS MAY BE THE BT PARENTS

In fact, some ways, gay parents may brg talents to the table that straight parents don' parents "tend to be more motivated, more mted than heterosexual parents on average, bee they chose to be parents, " said Abbie Goldberg, a psychologist at Clark Universy Massachetts who rearch gay and lbian parentg. "And while rearch dit that kids of gay parents show few differenc achievement, mental health, social functng and other measur, the kids may have the advantage of open-mdns, tolerance and role mols for equable relatnships, acrdg to some rearch.

GAY PARENTS AS GOOD AS STRAIGHT ON

) [5 Myths About Gay People Debunked]Adoptg the needitGay adoptn recently ed ntroversy Illois, where Catholic Chari adoptn servic cid November to cease offerg servic bee the state refed fundg unls the groups agreed not to discrimate agast gays and lbians.

More than half of the kids adopted by gays and lbians had special report didn't pare the adoptn preferenc of gay upl directly wh those of heterosexual upl, said thor David Brodzsky, rearch director at the Instute and -edor of "Adoptn By Lbians and Gay Men: A New Dimensn of Fay Diversy" (Oxford Universy Prs, 2011). Part of that uld be their own preferenc, and part uld be bee of discrimatn by adoptn agenci that puts more difficult children wh what seworkers see as "ls sirable" matter how you slice , Brodzsky told LiveScience, gays and lbians are highly terted adoptn as a group. "When you thk about the 114, 000 children who are eed for adoptn who ntue to live foster re and who are not beg readily adopted, the goal is to crease the pool of available, terted and well-traed dividuals to parent the children, " Brodzsky addn, Brodzsky said, there's evince to suggt that gays and lbians are pecially acceptg of open adoptns, where the child retas some ntact wh his or her birth parents.

"Intertgly, we fd that a small percentage, but enough to be noteworthy, [of birth mothers] make a nsc cisn to place wh gay men, so they n be the only mother their child's life, " Brodzsky parentgRearch has shown that the kids of same-sex upl — both adopted and blogil kids — fare no worse than the kids of straight upl on mental health, social functng, school performance and a variety of other life-succs a 2010 review of virtually every study on gay parentg, New York Universy soclogist Judh Stacey and Universy of Southern California soclogist Tim Biblarz found no differenc between children raised hom wh two heterosexual parents and children raised wh lbian parents. "There's no doubt whatsoever om the rearch that children wh two lbian parents are growg up to be jt as well-adjted and succsful" as children wh a male and a female parent, " Stacey told is very ltle rearch on the children of gay men, so Stacey and Biblarz uldn't draw nclns on those fai.

KIDS CAN THRIVE WH GAY PARENTS

[6 Genr Myths Bted]Nurturg toleranceIn fact, the only nsistent plac you fd differenc between how kids of gay parents and kids of straight parents turn out are issu of tolerance and open-mdns, acrdg to Goldberg. "The dividuals feel like their perspectiv on fay, on genr, on sexualy have largely been enhanced by growg up wh gay parents, " Goldberg 33-year-old man wh a lbian mother told Goldberg, "I feel I'm a more open, well-round person for havg been raised a nontradnal fay, and I thk those that know me would agree. Children wh gay, lbian, transgenr or other sexual mory parents fare as well as, or better than, children wh parents of the oppose sex, acrdg to rearch published Monday BMJ Global Health, further unrmg a mon but unsupported argument agast equal marriage and adoptn as a growg number of stat enact laws curtailg LGBT+ rights.

It is difficult to obta an accurate unt of same-sex parent fai bee many lbians and gay men are not open about their sexual orientatn due to fears of discrimatn, such as loss of employment, loss of child ctody, and antigay vlence. In fact, one prehensive study of children raised by lbian mothers or gay fathers nclud that children raised by same-sex parents did not differ om other children terms of emotnal functng, sexual orientatn, stigmatizatn, genr role behavr, behavral adjtment, genr inty, learng and gra pot averag. Though many fay relatnships may be plex, explag fay relatnships is uniquely plex for lbian and gay parented fai bee of the lack of societal norms and relevant exampl media, stereotyped notns about such relatnships that are mon, and the fear of discrimatn faced by the fai.

Competent parentg may be fluenced by gay and lbian parents’ abily to accept and acknowledge their inty and how they are able to negotiate livg a heterosexist, homophobic, or otherwise discrimatory society, while rearg their children a fay un that is not socially sanctned.

FOR GAY MEN, HAVG A BLOGIL CHILD N BE PLITED

In an terview wh BU Today, Siegel acknowledg the lims of all this rearch: none of the studi has been a randomized, ntrolled trial—the Holy Grail of scientific vtigatn—and all studi of gay parentg are necsarily small, sce there aren’t many gay parents. ” For example, the Amerin Psychologil Associatn (APA) stated 2005 that “not a sgle study has found children of lbian or gay parents to be disadvantaged any signifint rpect relative to children of heterosexual parents.

5 GAY PARENTG MYTHS

”[9] Even studi of donor-semated (DI) parenthood “do not know the extent to which the paratively high socenomic stat of DI parents studied accurately reflects the mographics of lbian and gay parenthood generally.

"We were g money to make ourselv feel better om the past, " said John, addg that was also a tool to f once they did fd the gay they addrsed those issu and envisned the future they wanted – a fortable retirement, means to travel and the abily to give back – they were able to pay off their bt and work towards other goals. Goldberg will prent data om a qualative study of 30 gay male adoptive upl, 40 female adoptive upl, and 45 heterosexual adoptive upl, all of whom have a child krgarten, explorg parents’ experienc wh their children’s schools. Robert-Jay Green, PhD, distguished profsor of clil psychology at the California School of Profsnal Psychology, San Francis, “Gay Fathers by Surrogacy: Prejudice, Parentg, and Well-Beg of Female and Male Children.

WHY PARENTHOOD, AND WHY NOW?: GAY MEN’S MOTIVATNS FOR PURSUG PARENTHOOD

The past several s have seen a proliferatn of studi on lbian, gay, and bisexual (LGB) parentg, wh creased attentn to (a) fay buildg by LGB people; (b) the transn to parenthood for LGB parents; and (c) functng and experienc of LGB parents and their children. Condns lked to poorer well-beg for LG parents clu: livg ls supportive legal ntexts, perceivg ls support om fay or supervisors, havg higher levels of ternalized homophobia, and enunterg more child behavr problems. Rearchers have found few differenc between children raised by lbian and heterosexual parents terms of self-teem, qualy of life, psychologil adjtment, or social functng (rearch on the psychosocial out of children wh gay male parents is limed).

Although adolcents and young adults reared by LGB parents are no more likely to self-intify as exclively lbian/gay than those reared by heterosexual parents, havg a lbian mother was associated wh a greater likelihood of nsirg or havg a same-sex relatnship, and more expansive, ls tegoril notns of sexualy.

A new study published this fall the journal Developmental Psychology reaffirms this ncln, and should serve as reassurg evince that validat the experience of tens of thoands of gay and lbian parents raisg children Ameri.