How I Wish I Reacted When I Learned My Brother Was Gay

DEAR THERAPIST: MY PARENTS WON’T LET ME TELL MY BROTHER I’M GAY

* i'm gay for my brother *

He wasn’t happy that I was gay, but he didn’t reject me like she had. My sister said that our parents probably thought that my homosexualy would “b off” on him.

Mom and Dad never wanted him to know that I’m gay, but he’s 14 now, and I have his personal email addrs.

IS MY BROTHER GAY? QUIZ (BOYS ONLY)

I have a gay brother and I hope this helps you figure out if your brother is gay ^_^ remember that outg people is not kd and that if your brother is gay, he will e out when he is ready!: P If you want to e this quiz for your iends and not brother, that's okay, but I n't guarantee that 'll be as accurate XD * i'm gay for my brother *

My patience has n dry, but I still hate to do this behd their I tell my ltle brother that I’m gay spe our parents’ disapproval? When you told your mother that you’re gay, she asked you to do one of the harst thgs anyone n be asked to do: pretend to be someone you’re not.

I image that’s how you felt when you were kicked out of the hoe and forbidn om tellg your father that you’re gay.

IS YOUR BROTHER GAY?

It sounds as though your mother, father, and sister all know now that you’re gay, but that rmatn is a fay secret om which your brother is supposedly shield. I’m gusg that some of what he’s learned about beg gay has e om your parents and their muny, so your email uld make him unfortable, aaid, or nfed. He might go straight to your parents wh qutns: My brother jt emailed me and said he’s gay.

Instead of emailg your brother first, email your parents and let them know that you n no longer tolerate livg a lie and that you’d like to share wh them why beg open about who you are would benef the entire send them articl such as this one that expla that same-sex attractn is not ntag, and more important, this blog post by a mother named Lda Robertson who ed to feel the way your parents do until she realized, tragilly, the harm she had ed her gay son, Ryan, who died om a dg overdose.

The more you n te your parents about the nsequenc of their actns—not jt on you, but on the fay as a whole (cludg the possibily that your ltle brother might feel angry and betrayed by your parents as an adult when he learns that he’s been lied to all of the years)—the more movement they might make toward seeg some benef lettg go of the secrecy, even if they don’t change their beliefs about beg gay.

HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY

Sometim one parent is more open than another, and based on your dad’s reactn to learng that you’re gay, he might faciliate some movement here as well. And if your parents rema transigent, you n certaly email your brother and clu the same lks you sent your parents, knowg that they might block you om further ntact wh him; or you n choose to wa a few more years, until he’s out of the hoe and has more exposure to gay people and different valu about sexual orientatn. However, seemed like I was fdg some of the boys sexy and appealg and wh time I knew that I was gay.

Also, he was the first to unrstand that I was gay, whout me ever tellg him and I rpected the fact that he never forced me to discs the matter. If you jt have a feelg that your brother is gay, that's okay. If you thk your brother is gay bee he watch a "girly" TV show or his voice sounds a certa way, that's relyg on stereotyp.

TO MY GAY BROTHER QUOT & SAYGS

If you live a particularly homophobic or transphobic area, discs safety plans wh the fay member se of vlence om others. If your fay member has e out as gay or bisexual, accept that they will end up seeg someone of their own genr, and that's perfectly okay.

Don't be aaid to rearch beg gay, bisexual, transgenr, asexual, or whatever your fay member me out as. I thk he might be gay. If you saw your brother kissg another guy and he said he is not attracted to women, y, he is gay.

How do I tell if a child is gay? They might have a lack of tert the oppose sex if they’re homosexual or asexual.