Can Gay and Straight Men Really Be Friends? | Psychology Today South Ai

gay male friends

If the h 90s TV show, "Will and Grace" was one of your favor, you may be yearng for that perfect gay bt iend (GBF). The iend who, asi om beg totally hot, knows you like the back of their hand, offerg sage sightful...

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GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS

Heterosexual and gay men n heal and grow as a rult of their iendships. * gay male friends *

Sex the Cy, Will and Grace), though a lot ls has been said about how gay and straight men regnize and negotiate the distct challeng, plitns, and rewards of their iendships. Acrdg to Garfield, among the many obstacl to male-male platonic timacy, fear of homosexualy looms large. Straight men et that if they get too close, others will see them as gay; which their mds means feme (horrors!

CAN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN REALLY BE FRIENDS?

Could gay guys be the ultimate wg men for their straight, male iends? * gay male friends *

S., before there was such a thg as a gay inty, some straight men would, wh ltle shame, engage sexual ntact wh other men (ually allowg themselv to be fellated) when female partners were otherwise unavailable (see Gee Chncey’s semal book, Gay New York: Genr, Urban Culture, and the Makg of the Gay Male World 1890-1940) and there is good reason to believe this still occurs other untri and cultur. The mid 20th century this behavr beme associated wh gay inty, new at the time and seen as crimal and then sick. As a rult of this behavr-inty lk, sexual ngrs between gay and straight men creased nsirably, or at least went unrground.

Gay men have suffered physil, social, and psychologil abe at the hands of heterosexually intified mal who, thanks to homophobia and heterosexism, felt fully jtified flictg the terrors. This legacy of vlence, both physil and psychologil, flicted by straight men toward those of who are gay naturally fuels our utn and distst at the thought of beiendg them. As turns out, the gay iend worried that if he hugged too closely his iend would thk he was g on to him.

HOW TO MAKE GAY FRIENDS: AN LBGT FRIENDSHIP GUI

New rearch explor the benefs of iendship between gay and straight men. * gay male friends *

For the straight guy, iendship wh a gay man offers the opportuny to learn important lsons about masculy, male inty, sexual orientatn, and diversy. As the quote go: You n never have too many iends—and iendships between gay and straight guys n be healg and uniquely satisfyg for all volved.

For a long time, iendships between gay men and straight men – what some now ll “bromosexual” iendships – were unmon.

Homophobia was likely one reason; another was that straight men probably assumed they didn’t have much mon wh gay men. Specifilly, we’re terted lookg at the reasons gay men and straight men bee iends (or rema iends after the gay iend out). We currently have a survey vtigatn unrway that explor some of the posive out of “bromosexual” iendships, cludg our theory that gay men and straight men n be optimal wg men for one another.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY

There are lots of reasons why you might want to know if your iend is gay. There are some important thgs that you have to unrstand about this suatn before gog forward, however. Someone's sexualy is highly plex and highly... * gay male friends *

Many straight men hated to beiend gay men, fearg harassment, rejectn om their straight iends or beg lled gay.

Gay men – particularly those nservative and ral environments – rema wary about tryg to beiend straight men, fearg prejudice-fueled rejectn. At the same time, many straight men still doubt that they’ll be able to relate to gay men any meangful way and, for this reason, may not try to iate a iendship.

Of urse, the tradnal notn that gay men and straight men nnot be close iends is herently homophobic and unte. We propose gay-straight male iendships are not only possible, but that they n grow to be extremely rewardg. If they’re open-md about beiendg gay men and make the effort to try to fe iendships based upon mon terts, gay men should feel more fortable reciprotg.

HOW TO MAKE GAY FRIENDS

Every time you attend a Pri March, ftival or cent Gay Club Night, you may have noticed jt how many fellow queers live your cy. The qutn is how to fd them outsi of the special events? Follow the steps to extend your... * gay male friends *

Gay men who disclose their sexual orientatn to their straight male iends earlier life may be able to build more open and hont iendships wh them to adulthood. Send, recent rearch has argued that genr and sexual orientatn might not be as black and whe as prevly thought, which opens up new avenu for explorg how gay and straight men n relate to one another. If a straight guy and his gay male iend are ls rigid about their masculy and sexualy, they’ll probably be more likely to discs tails about their sexual and romantic liv openly wh one another.

Recent rearch has suggted that advice sharg uld be a ccial reason that straight women seek out gay men as iends. In short, women are able to tst the datg advice om gay male iends bee they know their gay iends don’t have any ulterr motiv: They’re not tryg to hook up wh them or pete wh them for guys.

We believe that this same sort of unbiased advice sharg might also foster iendships between gay and straight men. Bee of the tst they engenr om straight women, gay men are uniquely posned to be excellent “wg men” for sgle straight men.

HOW TO HAVE A GAY FRIEND

Whether you're gay and lookg for gay iends or you're tryg to help a iend who's e out, we've got you vered! Wh a ltle searchg you n fd a rich work of gay iends your area or you n meet people onle. Havg a... * gay male friends *

However, straight women do tend to tst the datg advice of gay men (pecially more than advice om straight men or women). Jt as a gay man might be able to pass on advice about women to his straight iend, a straight man uld nnect his gay male iend wh another sirable gay man, sce neher the gay man nor his straight iend are petg for the same person. We believe that havg a tstworthy nfidant to help wh romantic pursus is one of the major reasons straight and gay men are leavg the fort of their same-sex, same-orientatn iend groups to form “bromosexual” iendships.

McKellan is a gay man who me out 1988, and although 33 years have passed sce he me out, n still be shockg to the world to see such a close same-sex iendship that cross sexual inti. Along wh his supervisor, Robb Travers, he lnched a study that surveyed 350 straight men and 275 gay or bisexual men om across North Ameri. Siar to qutns that loom about whether straight men and women n ever tly be platonic iends, the same qutn lgers over the iendships between gay and straight men.

A bromosexual iendship is a nonsexual iendship between two men, where typilly one iend is gay (or bisexual), and the other is straight. In days past, this may have seemed as unlikely as a iendship between a ln and a moe, given the tradnally high levels of homophobia among straight men.

HOW TO FD YOUR GAY BT FRIEND

The issu that once kept straight men and gay men apart are dissolvg, real life and popular culture. * gay male friends *

McKie’s rearch reported that straight participants felt that a gay iend ma for the ultimate wgman bee the gay iend uld help to attract prospective partners for the straight iend. Other rearch has shown that women prefer iendships wh gay vers straight men, partly bee the threat or loomg qutn of sexual attractn is renred moot. However, straight men bromosexual iendships have perhaps learned how to harns this ease of iendship between straight women and gay men for their own advantage.

McKie noted that the straight men felt their gay iend was able to make succsful troductns to straight women bee the women tsted their gay male iends to troduce them to a good person.

Gay men McKie’s rearch reported that their straight male iends often play the role of ‘matchmaker’ and troduce them to another of their gay iends. The lack of petn for the same prospective partners allows the iendship to flourish a way that may be hred to some gree for gay or straight men iendships wh men who share the same sexual orientatn. For gay men, iendship qualy wh a straight male iend was particularly high when the iendship pre-dated the gay man g out.

MEETG YOUR FIRST GAY FRIEND

Straight men also reported havg more emotnally vulnerable nversatns wh their gay iends bee they felt safer to do so, relative to attemptg to discs siar topics wh other straight men. McKie’s rearch found that straight men livg the more central parts of Canada and the Uned Stat were ls likely to report a willgns or tert havg a gay man as a iend. But tim are changg quickly, and McKie’s rearch unrsr the special bond that n velop between gay and straight iends to the benef of both.

If I fooled arounfld wh my iends when I was like 15 and now I'm 17 and still want to fool around do this mean I'm gay. Outsi of LGBTQ+-specific meetups, a great way to fd LGBT iendships is actually by attendg meetups that gay people typilly like. Wh theater doors bolted shut for the next…foreeable future, we’re thrilled to see some Broadway talent pop up the pilot episo of Boy•Friends, a new edy based off the My Gay Boyiend web-seri.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* GAY MALE FRIENDS

How to Tell if Your Guy Friend Is Gay: 15 Steps (wh Pictur) .

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