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class="in-play in-play--article"><span class="in-play-shape"><span class="in-label" data-note="for-screen-rears">Rume</span></span></i></a></div><div class="article-meta"><span class="article-meta-em--date"><span tle="Tuday, May 7th 2019, 5:00:05 am">May 07, 2019</span></span><ul class="article-meta-em--thorlist article-meta-group"><li class="article-meta-em article-meta-em--thor"><a class="article-meta-lk article-meta-em--thor" href="/si/staff/yasm-amer">Yasm Amer</a></li></ul><div class="article-share article-share-ins"><a href=" & target="_blank" rel="noreferrer" class="article-share-lk" tle="Share on Facebook"><svg class="in in-facebook" viewBox="0 0 128 128" role="img" width="24" aria-labelledby="tle"><tle id="tle">facebook</tle><path display="le" d="M120.1,0H8.2c-4.4,0-8,3.6-8,8v112c0,4.4,3.6,8,8,8h60.4V78.2h-16V59.8h16V43.9 c0-14.6,8.9-24.3,26.4-24.3c7.7,0,13.1,0.9,13.1,0.9V37h-12c-5.3,0-8,3-8,8.2v14.5h18.7l-2.7,18.4h-16v49.7h32c4.4,0,8-3.6,8-8V8 C128.1,3.6,124.5,0,120.1,0z"></path></svg></a><a href="mailto:?body=Mom Who Inially Stggled To Accept Her Gay Son Now Stands In At Same-Sex Mom Who Inially Stggled To Accept Her Gay Son Now Stands In At Same-Sex Weddgs" class="article-share-lk" tle="Share by email"><svg class="in in-email" viewBox="0 0 128 128" width="20" aria-labelledby="tle"><tle id="tle">Email</tle><path display="le" d="M64.2,86.3l-64-48V104c0,4.4,3.6,8,8,8h112c4.4,0,8-3.6,8-8V38.4L64.2,86.3z M64.2,72l64-48 c0-4.4-3.6-8-8-8H8.2c-4.4,0-8,3.6-8,8L64.2,72z"></path></svg></a></div></div></hear><sectn class="article-sectn--lead-image article-sectn--lead-image--standard"><figure class="article-fig" style="aspect-rat:1000 / 778"><picture class="article-fig-ner"><img class="article-image" src=" alt="Sara Cunngham (urty Sara Cunngham)"/></picture><figptn class="article-fig-ptn">Sara Cunngham (urty Sara Cunngham)</figptn></figure></sectn><sectn class="article-sectn--ntent hang-punctuatn article-sectn--first article-sectn--centered"><div class="set-align set-align--th"><div class="recirc-set"><div class="recirc-story-ntu">Story ntu below</div><div class="recirc-set-head"><h4>Subscribe to the podst</h4></div><div class="recirc-set-ner"><div class="recirc-set-podst"><div class="recirc-set-podst--tile"></div></div></div></div></div><p class="">Sara Cunngham was born and raised Oklahoma Cy a workg-class fay wh four brothers and sisters. She was the social butterfly of the fay, or as her mother liked to ll her, "the Goose."</p><p class="nt-medium">"I thk she knew I had this knack for stickg my nose everyone’s bs," said Sara. "I always wanted to know if everyone was all right [and] where everybody was."</p><p class="">She dreamed of the day she would leave Oklahoma behd for some place bigger, ls landlocked, and wh more people. Maybe California.</p><p class="nt-medium">“I remember my teens beggg my mother to not let me be buried Oklahoma," said Sara. "But as I’ve grown olr, I’ve grown to really appreciate the sense of muny here."</p><p class="">That sense of muny has kept the now-55-year-old Sara Oklahoma her whole life. She married there at 22 and began to raise her own fay. She wanted her two boys, Travis and Parker Cunngham, to love the same evangelil Christian muny she did.</p><figure class="article-fig size-medium article-fig--pull-right"><a href="><picture><img class="size-medium article-image" src=" alt="Courty Sara Cunngham" loadg="lazy"/></picture></a><figptn class="article-fig-ptn">(Courty Sara Cunngham)</figptn></figure><p class="nt-medium">"I loved church life," said Sara. "We were there every time the church doors were open, and the boys were happy to go."</p><p class=""><strong>'A Fe Young Man'</strong></p><p class="">Ltle by ltle, Sara started noticg thgs about her younger son, Parker, that ncerned her. He grew more quiet and rerved and tend to spend a lot of time alone. One moment that sticks out Sara’s md was when Parker was 5 years old and me downstairs wearg one of Sara's drs, dancg ecstatilly.</p><p class="nt-medium">"We were all taken back by his energy and to see his sheer excement that moment," relled Sara. "That was my first glimpse of like ... that’s different."</p><p class="">Sara says ever sce then, she tried to ntrol Parker's behavr. For example, on shoppg trips, she would steer him toward more mascule cloth or toys. She forced him to jo Cub Suts.</p><p class="nt-medium">"I jt tried to make Parker a fe young man, very mascule," said Sara.</p><p class="">Instead, Parker beme shy and anx. He stggled to speak openly to his mother about issu he was havg at school, and other thgs, too.</p><p class="">Fally, when he turned 21, Parker told his mother a tth he had only hted at before: he is gay.</p><p class="nt-medium">"I jt remember that I had to face realy that moment, that hour, that I have a gay child," said Sara. "I worried about his salvatn. I tly believed that my son was gog to hell. I really did."</p><p class=""><strong>'Alienated From The Congregatn'</strong></p><p class="">Sara spiraled to a prsn and when she tried to talk to her iends at church about , the nversatns were awkward. She felt isolated.</p><p class="nt-medium">"It was paful. We all jt beme alienated om the ngregatn," said Sara. "So before long, we jt qu gog."</p><p class="">There were days when Sara uldn’t get out of bed.</p><p class="nt-medium">"I’ve heard said that when a gay child out of their closet, the parents often go to theirs and that’s te," she said.</p><p class="">On one of those days, Parker me to her room to ask if she was OK. But what he said next is etched to Sara's memory.</p><p class="nt-medium">"He said, ‘I need you to unrstand that I have sucked up for 21 years beg your son, and I need you to suck up now and be my mom.' ”</p><p class="">That moment motivated Sara to do some soul-searchg and rearch. She began a journey that would change her life forever.</p><p class=""><strong>'So Close For Your Entire Life' </strong></p><p class="">Not far om Sara, neighborg Arkansas, Tabatha Cash was growg up siar circumstanc. On Thanksgivg 2017, the love of her life, her girliend, Marlee Castillo, proposed to her.</p><p class="nt-medium">"So at first was really, really, really excg, and then set to me about tellg my mom and my fay," said Tabatha.</p><p class="">Tabatha worried about how her fay might react. They were Southern Baptists wh strict views agast same-sex relatnships. Tabatha was close to her four siblgs and spoke to her mother almost every day. She didn’t want any of that to change, but she also knew she uldn’t keep her relatnship wh Marlee a secret.</p><p class="nt-medium">"So I didn’t know how to marry her and be as happy as I was right then," said Tabatha. "When we told my mom about the engagement ... turned to this awkwardns after you were so close for your entire life."</p><p class="">Still, the uple ntued to plan their weddg. Tabatha’s fiance, Marlee, asked a close fay iend to officiate . That iend was Sara Cunngham om Oklahoma.</p><p class=""><strong>'Accintal Activist'</strong></p><figure class="article-fig size-medium article-fig--pull-right"><a href="><picture><img class="size-medium article-image" src=" alt="Sara Cunngham (center) wh her son Parker Cunngham. Sara is holdg a sign for her LGBTQ moms' anizatn (Courty Parker Cunngham)" loadg="lazy"/></picture></a><figptn class="article-fig-ptn">Sara Cunngham, center, wh her son, Parker Cunngham. Sara is holdg a sign for her LGBTQ moms anizatn. (Courty Parker Cunngham)</figptn></figure><p class="">By that time, Sara, the same woman who stggled after her own son me out, had bee what she lls an “accintal activist.”</p><p class="">She had joed a group for moms wh LGBTQ kids lled <a href=">Free Mom Hugs</a> a few years before, and even beme an officiant so she uld pri over same-sex weddgs.</p><p class="">Tabatha remembers the first time she met Sara at a get-together Arkansas.</p><p class="nt-medium">"I thk we nnected bee I feel like I saw what I want my mom to be her," said Tabatha.</p><p class="">Instead of officiatg the weddg, Tabatha asked Sara if she would be her stand- mother. Sara said y.</p><p class=""><strong>'Stand-In Mom'</strong></p><p class="">On Sept. 1, 2018, Sara stuck by Tabatha's si on her big day. She helped her put on her whe drs and ma her bouquet.</p><p class="nt-medium">"It was btersweet. I felt for Tabatha," said Sara. "She enjoyed the day. She felt honored and celebrated but by the same token, her mother was not there."</p><p class="">Tabatha and her now-wife Marlee say Sara's role as a stand- mom was so much more than arrangg the flowers and helpg wh the ratns. As a mother who had to e to terms wh her own son’s sexualy, she brought a special kd of support Tabatha really need.</p><figure class="article-fig size-medium article-fig--pull-right"><a href="><picture><img class="size-medium article-image" src=" alt="Tabatha and Marlee Castillo's weddg (Cred Tabatha Castillo)" loadg="lazy"/></picture></a><figptn class="article-fig-ptn">Tabatha and Marlee Castillo's weddg. (Cred Tabatha Castillo)</figptn></figure><p class="nt-medium">"Sara always giv me hope for my own fay," said Tabatha. "The fact that she has experienced , and experienced every b of the feelgs that my mom is probably gog through giv me hope, bee she figured out a way to make all work."</p><p class="">Sara says there are so many moments she regrets not beg there for her son when he really need her. But she’s here now and wants to help others the gay muny who are stgglg wh rejectn om their fai.</p><p class="">Sara now volunteers to go to other same-sex weddgs if the blogil parents refe to attend. She’s there as a stand- mom, and as a symbol of how a ep, unndnal love n change everythg.</p></sectn><sectn class="article-sectn--story-group article-sectn--centered"><p class=""><em>This segment aired on May 2, 2019.</em></p></sectn></article><sectn class="article-sectn--story-group article-sectn--centered"><div class="ntributor has-photo"><div class="ntributor-profile"><figure class="ntributor-profile-em ntributor-photo"><a href="/si/staff/yasm-amer"><picture><img src=" class="lazy rd-image" alt=""/></picture></a></figure><p class="ntributor-profile-em ntributor-b"><a class="ntributor-name" href="/si/staff/yasm-amer">Yasm Amer</a> <span class="ntributor-tle">Reporter</span><br/>Yasm Amer is a bs reporter for WBUR.</p><p class="ntributor-more"><a class="ntributor-lk ntributor-b-lk" href="/si/staff/yasm-amer">More…</a></p></div></div></sectn><sectn class="sectn--breakout sectn--uw"><div class="uw uw--rponsive"><div class="uw-ner"><p class="uw-label">Advertisement</p><div class="uw-ntent uw-ntent--centered"><div style="width:300px;height:50px"></div></div></div></div></sectn><div></div><div class="global-d-ponents onmand--is-playg"><div class="global-player"><d preload="to"></d><div class="global-player-bar"><div class="global-player-bar-left"><button class="global-player-bar-ntrol"><i class="in-play in-play--global-player-bar in-play--psed"><span class="in-play-shape"><span class="in-label" data-note="for-screen-rears">Rume</span></span></i></button><div class="global-player-label global-player-label--live"><div class="global-player-channel"><span>Listen Live</span></div><div class="global-player-tle"><a class="global-player-label-lk" href="/">Loadg...</a></div></div></div><div class="global-player-bar-right"><div class="global-player-x"><svg class="in in-close" viewBox="0 0 24 24" aria-labelledby="tle"><tle id="tle">Close

mother gay son

Parents of gay children may go through an adjtment perd when they fd out their child is gay, but there is support for parents of gay children.

Contents:

MOM WHO INIALLY STGGLED TO ACCEPT HER GAY SON NOW STANDS IN AT SAME-SEX WEDDGS

Sara Cunngham stggled when her son told her he was gay. Now she volunteers as a stand- mom at same-sex weddgs when the blogil parents refe to attend. * mother gay son *

Fally, when he turned 21, Parker told his mother a tth he had only hted at before: he is gay. "I jt remember that I had to face realy that moment, that hour, that I have a gay child, " said Sara.

HOW ONE MOTHER’S LOVE FOR HER GAY SON STARTED A REVOLUTN

My mother, and my (gay) self. * mother gay son *

"I’ve heard said that when a gay child out of their closet, the parents often go to theirs and that’s te, " she one of those days, Parker me to her room to ask if she was OK. But she’s here now and wants to help others the gay muny who are stgglg wh rejectn om their now volunteers to go to other same-sex weddgs if the blogil parents refe to attend. She was rryg a piece of orange poster board wh a msage hand-lettered black marker: “PARENTS of GAYS: UNITE SUPPORT fOR oUR CHILDREN.

They asked if they uld kiss her; they asked if she would talk to their parents; they told her that they uldn’t image their own mothers and fathers supportg them so publicly, or supportg them at woman’s name was Jeanne Manford, and she was marchg alongsi her twenty-one-year-old gay son, Morty. The anizatn they dreamed up that day, which started as a sgle support group Manhattan, was ially lled Parents of Gays; later, was renamed Parents FLAG, for Parents and Friends of Lbians and Gays; nowadays, is known only as PFLAG.

GAY MEN AND THEIR MOTHERS: IS THERE A SPECIAL CLOSENS?

Seven years after his suici, a mother wr a letter to her gay son, Bce D. Ciello. * mother gay son *

The same year Avril was born, Morty’s psychiatrist summoned Jeanne and Jul to his office and rmed them that their beloved goln boy and sole survivg son was the bt of her knowledge, Jeanne Manford had never known anyone who was gay.

SALLY FIELD ON BEG A MOM WHO SUPPORTS HER GAY SON SPOILER ALERT

Chris Jewell’s parents disowned him after fdg out he was gay, but he is not alone his story of parental rejectn * mother gay son *

”There was no mystery about what that kd of tradnal, law-abidg woman was supposed to thk about gay people 1968.

At the time, homosexual acts were crimal forty-ne stat, wh punishments rangg om f to prison time, cludg life sentenc. Polil anizg was virtually impossible—one early gay-rights group that attempted to officially rporate New York was told that s mere existence would vlate state sodomy laws—and posive cultural reprentatn was all but nonexistent; there were no openly gay or lbian policians, punds, relig lears, actors, athlet, or micians the mastream.

A MOTHER'S LETTER TO HER GAY SON BCE DAVID CIELLO

Newspapers ed the words “homosexual” and “pervert” terchangeably, and the handful of gay people who appeared on televisn to discs their “life style” almost always had their fac hidn shadows or otherwise obscured.

'RETURN THE KEY': THE PARENTS WHO REJECT THEIR GAY CHILDREN

In 1974, when “The Pat Colls Show” aired a segment on parents of gay children, the host troduced by sayg, “Even if he mted murr, I gus you’d say, ‘Well, he’s still my child, no matter what. ’ But suppose your child me to you and said, ‘Mother, Dad, I am homosexual. ”You uld f most of the solar system to the chasm between how the average Amerin of the era would have reacted that hypothetil suatn and how Jeanne Manford rpond upon learng that Morty was gay.

Not for a moment did she wonr, as the otherwise supportive Jul ially did, if his gayns reflected some failg of theirs as parents.

Later, after he went to llege at Columbia and me to terms wh beg gay, the steady, unfsy love of his fay seemed tepid pared wh his own creasg radilism. The first time he attend a gay-rights prott, he wore sunglass and turned away om the news meras, but he soon beme, his sister Suzanne (now Suzanne Manford Swan) told me, “unaaid and unstoppable. ” An eighteen-year-old regular at the Stonewall Inn, Morty was there when a fight broke out between patrons and the police the summer of 1969, an event that talyzed the gay-rights movement.

PARENTS OF GAY CHILDREN AND THE ISSU THEY FACE

The followg year, after jog the brand-new Gay Activists Alliance, he began anizg polil monstratns, then dropped out of llege to do so full time.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* MOTHER GAY SON

Parents of Gay Children and the Issu They Face | HealthyPlace.

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