How to Bee Popular at a Gay Bar: Your Ultimate Gui

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Why gay nightclubs and bars still matter for same-sex attracted people.

Contents:

HOW TO BEE POPULAR AT A GAY BAR

Whether you are gog to a gay bar alone or wh iends, 's possible to be the most popular one there. This article will teach you how to act and drs orr to make the most out of your night out. Read on for more. No one talks to... * going to a gay bar for first time *

Though you should prepare yourself for the fact that people might assume you're gay and might even exprs romantic or sexual tert you.

To be fair, there are straight clubs that play great mic and have fun, nonjudgmental crowds, and there are gay bars that are nothg more than S and M (Stand and Mol) clubs.

DO YOU WANNA FUNK WH ME?: A BEGNER’S GUI TO GAY NIGHTCLUBS

Guys and gals... I really don't know why I am postg this but I am bee I want to tell everyone. I went to a gay bar for the first time last night... * going to a gay bar for first time *

Certa gay/lbian clubs have their target clientele, of urse — wboys and wgirls (The Round-up Saloon Dallas), leather men (La Track Montreal), punk lbians (The Dyke Bar Brighton, UK), and drag queens (1001 Pub Maryl Istanbul), for stance — but what I’m talkg about is your basic glter-ball, all-wele, humpg-on-the-dance-floor dis. This wouldn’t have happened at any of the gay bars town, and we fely would have had a better time, as the doorman was jt the first of numero snooty employe we enuntered, there. A gay bar is one of the few plac where homosexuals n exprs their affectn for one another whout beg subjected to someone’s narrow judgment, or, prumably, riskg harm to themselv, so expect to happen.

I went wh three iends — a lbian and a straight uple — to a gay nightclub a while back, but was separated om them immediately after enterg the crowd club.

Unlike what you may have seen on Queer as Folk, the overwhelmg majory of gay bars don’t have backrooms and hallways where wild i are takg place. Dg e, particularly the e of ecstasy and other signer dgs, is higher among the gay populatn than the straight populatn, and some gays and lbians equate a night on the town wh a night of high-energy, dg-duced spastic dancg. In my qut for the perfect dance club, I tried, or was dragged to, diss of all varieti, so I know om experience that the bt dance mic is a gay bar.

I WENT TO A GAY BAR FOR THE FIRST TIME!

Learn how to approach and flirt wh gay guys at clubs, bars, or other venuMeetg gay guys is hard. First you have to terme if the guy you're terted is gay or straight. Then you have to approach him and strike up a... * going to a gay bar for first time *

Sylvter, the late dis diva of the ’80s, was one of the first to target gay dienc, and he tablished a proud tradn of producg multi-layered tracks to which even the most rhythmilly-challenged uld dance. Even though he was straight and had a girliend, Ron and I went dancg together often; we both loved to dance, and if no one wanted to go out wh , we knew we uld dance a gay bar whout beg hassled.

STEP-BY-STEP INSTCTNS FOR SHOOTG YOUR SHOT WH GAY GUYS

Author Jeremy Atherton L wr of the history of gay bars, as their existence is threatened by the populary of datg apps and risg property sts, and reflects on their prence his life. * going to a gay bar for first time *

From gym gods to nerds to fag hags (the latter beg the straight women who hang wh their gay male iends) to straight upl who want to try some place new — don’t matter. Although, to be hont, the more you look like a er ught the headlights, the more the regulars will look at you oddly, so try not to eak out when you see your first drag queen or gay/lbian uple makg out. And often, gay clubs smaller towns or ral areas are entrance-by-membership-only, to keep out the rednecks and others who want stir up trouble.

"I WENT TO A GAY BAR LAST NIGHT FOR THE FIRST TIME""IT WAS LIKE STEPPG TO A SANCTUARY."{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}LIFEBY CHRISTOPHER RUDOLPHJANUARY 20, 2017/3:40 {HEIGHT:HER;DISPLAY:-WEBK-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-FLEX;DISPLAY:-MS-FLEXBOX;DISPLAY:FLEX;POSN:RELATIVE;-WEBK-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-MS-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-WEBK-ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-ALIGN:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-ALIGN:CENTER;ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-PACK:CENTER;-WEBK-JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-PACK:CENTER;JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-WEBK-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;-MS-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;} IMG{HEIGHT:100%;WIDTH:100%;OBJECT-F:VER;}{HEIGHT:574PX;WIDTH:1020PX;}DAVID MCNEW/GETTY IMAGWEST HOLLYWOOD, CA - OCTOBER 09: PEOPLE AT THE LGBT-IENDLY BAR 10 REACT TO MENTS MA BY DONALD TMP DURG THE SEND PRINTIAL BATE BETWEEN REPUBLIN PRINTIAL NOMEE DONALD TMP AND DEMOCRATIC PRINTIAL NOMEE HILLARY CLTON ON OCTOBER 9, 2016 WT HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA. (PHOTO BY DAVID MCNEW/GETTY IMAG)BY CHRISTOPHER RUDOLPHJANUARY 20, 2017 / 3:40 PM{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"NEWSARTICLE","HEADLE":"\"I WENT TO A GAY BAR LAST NIGHT FOR THE FIRST TIME\"","THUMBNAILURL":","DATEPUBLISHED":"2017-01-20T20:40:04.000+0000","DATEMODIFIED":"2017-01-20T20:40:04.000+0000","IMAGE":{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","URL":","WIDTH":1920,"HEIGHT":1080},"URL":","THOR":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","NAME":"LOGO TV"},"MAENTYOFPAGE":{"@TYPE":"WEBPAGE","@ID":"},"PUBLISHER":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","@ID":","NAME":"LOGO TV","URL":","LOGO":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT"}},"CREATOR":"CHRISTOPHER RUDOLPH","ARTICLESECTN":"LIFE"}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}YOU REMEMBER YOUR FIRST GAY BAR, RIGHT? THAT FEELG OF ELATN MIXED WH FEAR SHG OVER YOU AS YOU WALKED AND FOUND OTHER MEMBERS OF YOUR {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}A MEMBER OF REDD'S LBGT SUBREDD RECENTLY SHARED THAT HE MA HIS VIRG PILGRIMAGE TO A GAY BAR THE OTHER {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}"I ME OUT TO MYSELF SHORTLY AFTER LEAVG THE MORMON CHURCH LAST YEAR," POSTED MEMAHSELFNI. "I GUS I'D BEEN GAY MY WHOLE LIFE BUT WAS HUGE NIAL OVER UNTIL I LEFT MY RELIGN AND REALIZED I FELT NOTHG FOR THE GIRL I HAD BEEN WH."SENOR FROG'{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}LEARNG THERE WERE SOME GAY CLUBS A FEW TOWNS OVER, HE CID TO TAKE THE PLUNGE ONE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IT WAS LIKE STEPPG TO A SANCTUARY AMONG PEOPLE WHO FALLY FELT AS I DID AND WEREN'T GOG TO SULT ME FOR FEELG HOW I {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I END UP HAVG A NVERSATN FOR HOURS WH A UPLE, SIPPG JACK AND COKE, ABOUT HOW I ME TO KNOW I WAS GAY, THEIR G OUT STORI, AND HEARG OM THEM THAT I WAS GOG TO BE JT FE AND THAT THE SKY IS THE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}THEY TOLD ME ABOUT ALL OF THE EVENTS AND ACTIVI THAT THE LGBT MUNY DO NEAR ME—THAT WAS ONE OF THE BT PARTS OF THE NIGHT, KNOWG THAT I'M NOT ON MY OWN AS A GAY MAN. {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}MEMAHSELFNI ADMS HE IALLY FELT UNFORTABLE, BUT SOON REALIZED "THIS WAS A PLACE WHERE I ULD BE MYSELF [AND] I OPENED UP AND EMBRACED MY SEXUAL INTY. AND I FELT EE AND HONT AGA!"{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}AFTER GETTG BEAR HUGS AND KISS OM HIS NEW IENDS, HE WENT HOME "FEELG ON TOP OF THE WORLD."{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}THE RPONS TO HIS STORY WERE EQUALLY TOUCHG, WH SOME G OM OTHER GAY {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}"SO MANY OF HAVE LIVED THAT STORY BUT 'S STILL NICE TO HEAR ONCE AGA," WROTE ONE REDDOR. "MY RELLECTNS OF MY FIRST TIME AT THE GAY BARS REMA VIVID TO THIS DAY THO WAS SO LONG AGO. THE FEELG OF LIBERATN, OF SPREADG WGS IS ALMOST PALPABLE."{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}"GAY BARS ARE LIKE AN EMBASSY FOR GAYS ANYWHERE," ADD ANOTHER. "WHEREVER YOU ARE, THE GAY BAR WILL BE YOU SAFE ZONE."GAY WOMEN HAVG DRKS A BAR BIRMGHAM. LBIAN UPL TALKG AND HAVG DRKS LEANG AGAST BAR. YOUNG, STYLISH {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}"CONGRATS TO G OUT, AND BEG YOURSELF," RPOND A FELLOW EX-MORMON. "LIKE YOU, I ULDN'T ACCEPT MY SEXUAL ORIENTATN UNTIL I LEFT THE CHURCH, AND AFTER G OUT TO MYSELF AND OTHERS, THGS STARTED TO IMPROVE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IT'S GOG ON FIVE YEARS NOW, AND I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DO A LOT MY 30S THAT I NEVER ULD ALLOW MYSELF TO DO OR BE MY 20S. I REMEMBER MY FIRST PRI AND HOW EMOTNAL WAS FOR ME. IT WAS JT AFTER MARRIAGE EQUALY WAS VOTED ON WASHGTON, AND SEATTLE WAS JT SO FILLED WH {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}JT AS YOU ARE FDG, IS GREAT TO FD SPAC THAT YOU N FEEL FORTABLE AND FULLY BE YOURSELF AT. NOW I'M HAPPILY MARRIED TO MY HBAND, AND AMAZED TO SEE HOW MUCH SUPPORT I HAD ALONG THE WAY OM OTHERS WHO ED TO BE STNCHLY LDS."{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;CLEAR:BOTH;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;MARG:0 TO;WIDTH:90%;M-WIDTH:288PX;MAX-WIDTH:1440PX;M-HEIGHT:194PX;}LATT NEWS

* going to a gay bar for first time *

When I attend llege the homophobic town of Wa, Texas, gettg to the one gay bar town remd me of enterg a speak-easy durg Prohibn, but once si, the patrons were all nice and easy-gog. Even when loted “nicer” parts of town, gay bars tend to attract n artists, pick pockets, and gay bashers lookg to prey on the weak or dnk.

MY FIRST NIGHT BACK AT A GAY BAR

However, if you have no problem wh gay, lbian, bisexual or transgenred people general, they turn will have no problem wh you, so you ought to give the lol gay bar a try.

I was alot of pictur wh people and I am ab worried that they will post on facebook or somethg but I have to move on and not worry about what people thk of me if they fd out that I am gay. That's enuragg a b, I I'm not one for the bar scene general, but sce g out to myself and wantg to know how & where to meet groups of other gay people, I've been tempted to see if gay bars were any better than the regular kd, & worth . I am glad that you had a good experience, I have never been approached gay bars and they were jt the same as straight bars for me lol.

We’ve veloped a handy gui to walk you through pickg up gay men at clubs, bars, or other venu where you’re likely to meet them. Try Grdr, Adult Friend Fr, or Tr to meet gay or bi people lookg to hook up, or OK Cupid or Hge if you’re terted makg a eper nnectn.

THE DOS & DON'TS OF GAY CLUBBG

"I gus I'd been gay my whole life but was huge nial over until I left my relign and realized I felt nothg for the girl I had been wh.

'GAY BAR' TRACKS THE WAVE OF A WHOLE CULTURE — AND ONE LIFE

"Learng there were some gay clubs a few towns over, he cid to take the plunge one was like steppg to a sanctuary among people who fally felt as I did and weren't gog to sult me for feelg how I do. I end up havg a nversatn for hours wh a uple, sippg jack and Coke, about how I me to know I was gay, their g out stori, and hearg om them that I was gog to be jt fe and that the sky is the told me about all of the events and activi that the LGBT muny do near me—that was one of the bt parts of the night, knowg that I'm not on my own as a gay man.

THE 42 BT GAY BARS AMERI

My wdows were down, mic blastg, arm out the wdow, when I heard : the siren ll of the homosexual—Gaga bumpg om the speakers of the newly renovated (and absolutely geo) pat at Chill Bar.

Chanc are, your first tentative steps out onto the London queer scene were ma or around Old Compton Street, the shg of London’s mastream gay culture. Csg a venue to ll out an expensive plummer bee you and your pals thought ’d be a great plan to smash up the toilet after your first h of gay gra gak isn’t exactly the pnacle of allyship. A mere 30 years later, sectn 28 was passed - makg an offence to promote (talk about) homosexualy schools and only 5 years ago same sex marriag were not legal.

As someone recently out wh no gay iends, I've been feelg like I'm missg out every time I pass by the gay bars my neighborhood. Social media is now awash wh parisons of straight and gay clubs, wh the latter gag a reputatn for havg better mic, better dancg, and simply a better vibe. A iend of me had e out of the closet that eveng and revealed that he had been a secret relatnship wh an openly gay iend of ours.

IN ‘GAY BAR,’ TIME-HOPPG SNAPSHOTS OF QUEER NIGHTLIFE

You’ll actually see a lot of straight women go to gay clubs Sydney jt so they n enjoy a night out whout beg h on by sleazy guys. I'd never seen a bar wh a sign like this before, but my iend said she heard tell that many gay bars the South were "members only" to ward off any potential discrimatn or vlence; a way for the muny to protect self. Havg a crew jog me this adventure lsened the fear I was rryg, though my iends prumably had no ia how signifint the night was for of them except Alyzza knew that I was gay, and I wasn't ready to tell anyone.

IS IT LAST CALL FOR THE GAY BAR?

I ved a uple of other iends who were still town after graduatn -- whout sayg anythg my texts that might suggt we were meetg at a gay bar. Even om across the untry, I feel like I need to be on alert, if I travel back to the state, se I "look gay" -- whatever that people, like the one my teacher iend mentned, who are qutng their sexual orientatn or genr inty, are told no uncerta terms that they shouldn't embrace their thentic selv out of fear that might offend someone's "relig beliefs. Gay Bar b memoir, history and cricism; 's a difficult book to p down, but that's what mak so readable and so endlsly fascatg.

Atherton L's book starts off a crowd room a gay bar where he's gone cisg wh his partner, whom he refers to throughout the book wh the Leonard Cohen-spired nickname Famo Blue Raat. That kd of gay bar — all kds of gay bars, really — are danger of closg, Atherton L wr, due to the populary of datg apps and risg property sts. He wr betifully about his llege days Los Angel, where he went to his first one, though he n't rell the name, wryly notg, "Of urse I n't remember my first gay bar — I was dnk.

" He's also spired to dig to the past: "Enough time has passed that gay bars, once a surge, have bee monumental their own way. " That history clus the famo 1969 uprisg at the Stonewall Inn New York, but Atherton L also div to other, lser-known bars, cludg on that endured police raids meant to put gay people their place.

WHAT EXACTLY IS THE POT OF A “STRAIGHT-FRIENDLY” GAY BAR?

Throughout the book, Atherton L scrib the gay bars that he equented, and his scriptns of the tablishments are endlsly evotive.

LET'S TALK ABOUT STRAIGHT PEOPLE QUEER SPAC"I WANT STRAIGHT PEOPLE TO QUTN THEMSELV WHEN THEY GO TO A QUEER SPACE, WHY DO I FEEL ENTLED TO GO TO THIS PLACE?"{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}CULTUREBY BOBBY BOXNOVEMBER 4, 2021/2:24 {HEIGHT:HER;DISPLAY:-WEBK-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-FLEX;DISPLAY:-MS-FLEXBOX;DISPLAY:FLEX;POSN:RELATIVE;-WEBK-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-MS-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-WEBK-ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-ALIGN:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-ALIGN:CENTER;ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-PACK:CENTER;-WEBK-JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-PACK:CENTER;JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-WEBK-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;-MS-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;} IMG{HEIGHT:100%;WIDTH:100%;OBJECT-F:VER;}{HEIGHT:3840PX;WIDTH:5760PX;}GETTYGROUP OF YOUNG CHEERFUL PEOPLE ARE HAVG FUN THE NIGHT CLUB, DRKG CKTAILS, SG, BONDG, CLUBBG, CHEERG AND DANCG.BY BOBBY BOXNOVEMBER 4, 2021 / 2:24 PM{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"NEWSARTICLE","HEADLE":"LET'S TALK ABOUT STRAIGHT PEOPLE QUEER SPAC","THUMBNAILURL":","DATEPUBLISHED":"2021-11-04T18:24:36.000+0000","DATEMODIFIED":"2021-11-04T18:24:36.000+0000","IMAGE":{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","URL":","WIDTH":1920,"HEIGHT":1080},"URL":","THOR":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","NAME":"LOGO TV"},"MAENTYOFPAGE":{"@TYPE":"WEBPAGE","@ID":"},"PUBLISHER":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","@ID":","NAME":"LOGO TV","URL":","LOGO":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT"}},"CREATOR":"BOBBY BOX","ARTICLESECTN":"CULTURE"}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WHEN I MOVED TO TORONTO OM MY HOMETOWN OF HATON, ONCE MORTIFYGLY CROWNED THE CY WH THE MOST HATE CRIM CANADA, WAS 2018, AND I ONLY HAD ONE IEND. IN A SPERATE ATTEMPT TO MAKE IENDS AND MONEY, I CREATED A GRDR PROFILE LOOKG FOR A JOB AS A BARTENR SCE I LIVED ONE STREET AWAY OM THE CY’S GAY VILLAGE. I RECEIVED AN OFFER 24 HOURS LATER TO WORK AT ONE OF THE CY’S MOST POPULAR BARS, WHICH HOSTED DRAG SHOWS EVERY NIGHT OF THE WEEK AND WAS PARTICULARLY POPULAR AMONG QUEER STUNTS AND STRAIGHT {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}DURG MY STT AS A BARTENR AND BAR-BACK, MENTS LIKE, “IT’S A SHAME THAT YOU’RE GAY,” AND UNSOLICED ASS- AND CROTCH-GRABBG, WERE NIGHTLY OCCURRENC ALMOST EXCLIVELY OM STRAIGHT WOMEN CLIENTELE. ON ONE PARTICULAR OCSN, I LOOKED BACK AT A DNKEN ASS-GRABBER TO SLD HER. SHE RPOND BY WKG AND MOUTHG THE WORDS, “YOU’RE WELE.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}A VETERAN -WORKER LATER ASSURED ME, “YOU’LL GET ED TO . IT’S JT PART OF THE JOB.” I QU AFTER TWO {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}“THERE ARE TWO TYP OF STRAIGHT PEOPLE THAT TYPILLY E TO QUEER SPAC: THE ON WHO E LARGE NUMBERS AND HAVE NO RPECT OF HOW TO BEHAVE A QUEER SPACE AND TRY TO TAKE OVER, AND THERE ARE THE ALLI, WHO ARE WELL-TED AND UNRSTAND THAT THEY ARE GUTS OUR SPACE,” TORONTO-BASED DRAG PERFORMER KERO SALEIB TELLS {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}OVER THE PHONE, KERO RELLS A PARTICULARLY HARROWG EXPERIENCE A POPULAR DRAG BAR. HE AND A GROUP OF IENDS WERE WATCHG A DRAG SHOW WHEN A YOUNG WOMAN APPROACHED AND PLIMENTED HIM. TAKG HIS KDNS AS A GREEN LIGHT TO PH FURTHER, SHE GRABBED HIS CHT AND STARTED BBG HIS CROTCH WHILE LGHG. TO PROVE A POT, KERO GRABBED HER CHT. SHE RPOND BY SLAPPG HIM.GETTY {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}“IF ISN'T OKAY FOR ME TO DO THIS TO YOU WHOUT [YOUR] NSENT, WHAT MAK YOU THK YOU N DO THAT TO ME?’” HE ASKED. “SHE THEN TRIED TO JTIFY THAT BEE I’M GAY, I SHOULDN'T RE, AND I HAD NO IA WHAT SHE MEANT BY THAT. I EVENTUALLY HAD HER KICKED OUT OF THE BAR WHEN SHE TRIED TO GET EVEN MORE VLENT WH ME.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}THE MORE I SPOKE WH OTHER QUEER NIGHTLIFE PROFSNALS AND ENTHIASTS, THE MORE STORI LIKE THIS I HEARD. MIKHAIL, 34, REMEMBERS BEG OUT DANCG WH HIS HBAND WHEN A WOMAN OM A BACHELORETTE PARTY PHED HER FGER THROUGH HIS SHORTS AND TOUCHED HIS ASSHOLE ON THE DANCE FLOOR. THIS WAS NOT THE FIRST OR EVEN THE MOST RECENT TIME HE OR HIS HBAND WERE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}“JT LAST MONTH, MY HBAND WAS KNOCKED OVER BY A GROUP OF DNK STRAIGHT WOMEN WHO WERE 10 MUT LATE TO THE DRAG SHOW AND WANTED TO BE UP ONT,” HE TELLS LOGO. AS THE DRKS NTUED TO FLOW THAT EVENG, THE SAME GROUP WOULD LATER PH MIKHAIL AND HIS HBAND TOGETHER, ENURAGG THEM TO KISS. THE UPLE SUDNLY BEME A {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IN AN RMAL POLL ON TWTER, I ASKED MY QUEER FOLLOWERS HOW THEY FELT ABOUT STRAIGHT PEOPLE OUR SPAC. NEARLY 80% OF THE 250-PL PEOPLE WHO VOTED WERE AGAST . THOUGH THIS POLL TENTNALLY LACKED NUANCE (I ONLY GAVE “YAY” OR “NAY” OPTNS), MOST SAID THE ANSWER PENDS ON THE DIVIDUAL AND THEIR MOTIVATNS. “STRAIGHT ALLI ARE WELE, BUT STRAIGHT TOURISTS ARE NOT,” ONE VOTER {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IN BOYSTOWN: SEX AND COMMUNY CHIGO, THOR AND QUEER SOCLOGIST JASON ORNE S THIS BEHAVR “ON SAFARI.” STRAIGHT PEOPLE OFTEN VIS QUEER SPAC AS ONE MIGHT VIS A ZOO, ONLY STEAD OF OGLG TIGERS AND LNS, THEY’RE ENTERTAED BY BEARS AND {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IN A PRR NVERSATN WH ORNE FOR IN MAGAZE, HE EXPLAED THERE ARE BOTH PH AND PULL FACTORS THAT LEAD STRAIGHT WOMEN TO GAY BARS. FOR STANCE, SOME STRAIGHT WOMEN MIGHT BE DRAWN TO GAY BARS AS SAFE HAVENS OM CREEPY STRAIGHT BROS, WHICH IS PLETELY UNRSTANDABLE. OTHERS MIGHT REGARD GAY CULTURE AS SAFE AND FUN EROTICISM WHOUT UNRSTANDG HETEROSEXISM, OR THE REJECTN OF RPECTABILY THAT WH .GETTY IMAGPORTRA OF SG IENDS LOOKG AT MERA AND HOLDG DRKS AT {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}PERCEPTN IS ALSO A FACTOR THIS NVERSATN SCE YOU N’T ALWAYS TELL IF SOMEONE IS LGBTQ BY THEIR APPEARANCE. FOR EXAMPLE, A TRANS MAN AND TRANS WOMAN TOGETHER MIGHT LOOK LIKE A STRAIGHT UPLE. FEMME LBIANS OR MASCULE GAY MEN MIGHT BE MISTAKEN FOR STRAIGHT PEOPLE. BY ATTEMPTG TO QUANTIFY PEOPLE’S QUEERNS BASED ON HOW THEY LOOK, YOU ALSO N THE RISK OF VALIDATG BISEXUALS, PANSEXUALS, AND OTHER QUEER PEOPLE WH FLUID SEXUAL ORIENTATNS, PECIALLY IF THEY ENTER A SPACE A HETERO-PRENTG PARTNERSHIP. QUEER BARS AND CLUBS ARE FOR ALL MEMBERS OF OUR MUNY, NOT JT THOSE OF WHO READ AS VISIBLY {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WHAT’S MORE, QUEER PEOPLE N BE JT AS GRABBY WH STRAIGHT WOMEN AS THEY ARE WH . I’VE SPOKEN WH MANY STRAIGHT WOMEN WHO’VE HAD THEIR BREASTS TOUCHED BY GAY MEN WHOUT NSENT, AND THE RATNALY IS THE SAME ON BOTH SIS: BEE WE AREN’T SEXUALLY PATIBLE, THIS KD OF NTACT IS EMED NOCENT OR HARMLS. I N TELL YOU OM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE THAT UNWELE TOUCH ARE VASIVE NO MATTER WHO THEY E {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}INAPPROPRIATE GRABBG ASI, MANY LGBTQ PEOPLE I SPOKE TO SAID A STRAIGHT PERSON’S PRENCE A MAJORY-QUEER SPACE N MAKE THEM FEEL UNFORTABLE OR UNSAFE, AND FEATS THE VERY PURPOSE OF A QUEER SPACE THE FIRST PLACE. THIS UNEASE N BE MAGNIFIED SEXUAL SPAC, WHERE ACTG ON OUR SIR N BE REGARD AS ENTERTAG — OR WORSE, {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WHEN JAB, 28, ATTEND MARKET DAYS, AN LGBTQ FTIVAL CHIGO, WH A STRAIGHT GIRLIEND, SHE MENTED ON HOW PUP MASKS ARE “SRY” AND DIDN’T UNRSTAND THEIR RELEVANCE AT THE EVENT. “AS A GAY MAN, I KNOW WHAT ’S LIKE TO WANT ANONYMY, AND I N UNRSTAND WHY WOULD BE A KK OR SEXUAL SIRE,” HE TELLS LOGO. JAB BELIEV MANY STRAIGHT PEOPLE STGGLE TO GRASP THIS NCEPT BEE THEY THEMSELV HAVE NEVER HAD TO HI PART OF WHO THEY ARE OR WHAT THEY SIRE OM THEIR LOVED ON.OMER MSGER/GETTY IMAGBERLIN, GERMANY - JUNE 26: PARTICIPANTS WH PUP-FETISH MASKS TAKE PART THE QUEERSCHUTZ NOW! (QUEER PROTECTN NOW!) MARCH MEMORATN AND CELEBRATN OF CHRISTOPHER STREET DAY ON JUNE 26, 2021 BERL, GERMANY. A VARIETY OF GAY PRI MARCH AND GATHERGS ARE TAKG PLACE ACROSS THE CY TODAY, EACH WH S OWN POLIL OR THEMATIC EMPHASIS. THE MARCH ARE TAKG PLACE CLOSE TO THE 52ND ANNIVERSARY OF THE 1969 RTS FOLLOWG A POLICE RAID AT THE STONEWALL INN NEW YORK CY THAT IGNED THE GAY RIGHTS MOVEMENT. (PHOTO BY OMER MSGER/GETTY IMAG){BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}ACTOR DANIEL CRAIG MA HEADL LAST MONTH WHEN HE TOLD THE LUNCH WH BCE PODST HE ENJOYS GOG TO QUEER SPAC BEE HE “DON’T GET TO FIGHTS GAY BARS THAT OFTEN,” AND THEY ARE “VERY SAFE PLACE[S] TO BE.” HE ALSO NFSED HE WENT TO GAY BARS AS A TEEN TO PICK UP STRAIGHT WOMEN. HIS MENTS HAD QUEER FOLKS DIVID. SOME APPLD HIM FOR HIS HIS SUAL ALLYSHIP, WHEREAS OTHERS CHASTISED HIM FOR EXPLOG QUEER SPAC FOR HIS {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WHETHER WE DIVIDUALLY WELE THEM OR NOT, STRAIGHT PATRONS HELP KEEP QUEER TABLISHMENTS AFLOAT. MANY BS WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO KEEP THEIR DOORS OPEN WHOUT THE BOOST, PECIALLY NSIRG RISG RENT PRIC, GENTRIFITN, AND NOTED E DISPARI BETWEEN LGBTQ AND CIS-HETERO {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}ONE STUDY FOUND THAT BETWEEN 2007 AND 2019, 37% OF GAY BARS AMERI HAD CLOSED, AND 14% OF THOSE CLOSUR OCCURRED OM 2017–2019. IN 2020, THE LBIAN BAR PROJECT UNTED JT 15 REMAG LBIAN BARS THE ENTIRE UNTRY. IT’S THE ULTIMATE DOUBLE-EDGED SWORD, WHICH IS WHY THIS TURF WAR WILL NEVER BE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}“I WANT STRAIGHT PEOPLE TO QUTN THEMSELV WHEN THEY GO TO A QUEER SPACE, WHY DO I FEEL ENTLED TO GO TO THIS PLACE?” ORNE TOLD ME. “IT’S THE SAME QUTN I THK PEOPLE SHOULD ASK ANY TIME THEY ENJOY SOMETHG THAT DON’T STEM OM A HERAGE THEY HAVE. NOT TO NOT DO , BUT TO JT ASK WHY. THAT ACT, I HOPE, WOULD MAKE THEM BE A B MORE RPECTFUL.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS, CIS-HETEROS WILL NTUE EQUENTG OUR SPAC, AND THERE’S NOT MUCH WE N DO ABOUT . WE’RE WELE THEIR SPAC, AND ALTHOUGH WE EXPERIENCE MARGALIZATN THEY WILL NEVER UNRSTAND, THEY ARE WELE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}SCE WE N’T ENFORCE A “YOU’RE ONLY WELE IF…” LE, OUR ENERGY IS BETTER SPENT TG STRAIGHT FOLKS ON HOW TO NDUCT THEMSELV AS GUTS OUR SPACE. IS THIS OUR RPONSIBILY? OF URSE NOT, BUT ’S A HELL OF A LOT BETTER THAN HAVG TO AL WH A BARRAGE OF BELLIGERENT BACHELORETTE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;CLEAR:BOTH;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;MARG:0 TO;WIDTH:90%;M-WIDTH:288PX;MAX-WIDTH:1440PX;M-HEIGHT:194PX;}LATT NEWS

" Atherton L explor topics like archecture and urban geography, as they relate to gay bars, betifully; he wr wh a real knowledge that's more than jt tellectual dilettantism.

About the changg looks of bars before the turn of the century, he observ, "A new type of gay bar began to appear London's Soho the neti — airy, glossy, ntental. " Along the way, Atherton L dips to other topics related to the gay muny: the appropriatn of gay culture by straight people, mic, drkg, and the valu of the younger generatn of LGBTQ people.

And while succeeds on many levels, perhaps the most remarkable one is Atherton L's nstant qutng of himself, and the realizatns of how he's changed sce he walked to his first gay bar years ago: "Maybe, I thought, I'm a dis ball. The word “gay” lls to md our special knack for fdg the light the darkns, for buildg the dance floor off to the si of the cel world. Let’s take a look at some of the bt gay bars Ameri, om the open-air, vil-may-re spac Wt Hollywood to the neighborhood pub downtown St.

MOSW GAY BARS

The entrance is through an unmarked shed behd a Chipotle, and featur a blend but unexpected gay/not crowd which same-sex grdg is rigur. —Alfonso Fernanz NavasCourtyAt: Cheer Up CharliBack when I was a young gay, I saw the olt, most betiful woman the world at Cheer Up Charli.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* GOING TO A GAY BAR FOR FIRST TIME

The Dos & Don'ts Of Gay Clubbg | Mistry of Sound .

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