Maybe 'that's so gay' is actually ok for young people to say

Contents:

• THE GRIM TTH OF BEG GAY PRISON
• ‘I AM GAY – BUT I WASN’T BORN THIS WAY’
• FOOTBALL IS SO GAY: FORCED MASCULY PRO SPORTS HALTS SOCIAL PROGRS
• FORD UNVEILED A 'VERY GAY' TCK RPONSE TO A HOMOPHOBIC COMMENTER
• TELL: AN INTIMATE HISTORY OF GAY MEN THE MILARY
• GAY CULTURE HAS GROWN TOXIC WH UNCHECKED PRIVILEGE. IT'S TIME FOR TO RET
• RAIRS’ CARL NASSIB ANNOUNC HE’S GAY, AN N.F.L. FIRST

THE GRIM TTH OF BEG GAY PRISON

In 1984, when Calv Burde was awag sentencg for allegedly stabbg his gay lover to ath, the prosecutg attorney enuraged the jury his closg remarks to award Burde the ath penalty, rather than life prison, on the grounds that sendg a gay man to prison was ak to sendg a kid to a ndy store. His ath sentence was later overturned (mostly bee Burde's public fenr had slept through much of his trial), but the homophobic thkg – that prison is some kd of paradise for gay men – lgers realy of life prison for homosexuals and transgenr dividuals do not appear to reflect this myth. He scribed a lany of btal rap, asslts, beatgs and, eventually, the total abandonment of his male inty as his only means of survival the hyper-mascule and often homophobic prison environment.

His acunt suggts that far om beg a paradise, prison for gay men n be a livg days of his first enterg prison, the 23-year-old Rodney claimed he was the victim of three separate sexual asslts, volvg five different mat. The prison he was first sent to did actually have a separate tier for gay mat, but acrdg to Rodney, bee he did not "appear overly effemate" durg his classifitn, he was placed wh the general populatn; and bee was supposedly rare to have a gay person slip through the cracks of the system, his fellow mat took full advantage. It's difficult to asss how typil Rodney's prison experience is, but numero studi nducted by the Bure of Jtice Statistics, based on anonymo mate surveys, have shown that gay and transgenr mat are among the most targeted groups for sexual victimizatn.

Jt Detentn Internatnal (JDI), an anizatn whose aim is to eradite prison rape (pdf), is tryg to change has been workg wh the California Department of Correctns and Rehabilatn (CDCR) to tablish "sensive needs yards" (pdf), where gay, transgenr and other vulnerable mat n serve out their time safety.

‘I AM GAY – BUT I WASN’T BORN THIS WAY’

Worst of all, though, the shame attached to the memori of those first tim marred how I would approach sex for years.It was listeng to Years & Years’ new song “Sanctify,” and seeg the band’s out gay sger Olly Alexanr talk about how the song was spired his sexual trysts wh straight men, that I realized that the feelgs are way more mon than people let on. Sure, I know all about gay guys havg sex wh straight guys, but felt reassurg to see him scribe the “sat and sner role” he embodied durg those experienc, and to hear the uncertaty and melancholy weaved to the song.More than anythg though, was the repeated lyril mantra of “I won’t be ashamed.” Bee as queer people, we’re buried lifetime’s worth of shame so vivid and searg that oftentim ’s cripplg. I argued that straight men’s e of phras like “that’s so gay” uld only be unrstood by three key factors: first, the tent wh which was said; send, the social ntext (homophobic or otherwise); and third, the effect had.

FOOTBALL IS SO GAY: FORCED MASCULY PRO SPORTS HALTS SOCIAL PROGRS

If young gay people are sayg that they do not experience the phrase “that’s so gay” as homophobic – and if they are even g the phrase themselv – then perhaps we should accept their arguments and ncentrate on other battl. Growg up, there were gay kids who uld duck and ver when me to their sexualy, and then there were kids like me who get lled by their mom’s nam when they answered the phone, even though they were fourteen years old and the time for that should have passed. You so obvly nnot be gay, was her implitn, bee this is good was 2006, a full five years before Lady Gaga would set the Born This Way argument atop s unassailable cultural perch, but even then the popular unrstandg of orientatn was that was somethg you were born wh, somethg you uldn’t change.

FORD UNVEILED A 'VERY GAY' TCK RPONSE TO A HOMOPHOBIC COMMENTER

But what feels most accurate to say is that I’m gay – but I wasn’t born this people may fd their sir changg directn - and n't jt be explaed as experimentatn (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)In 1977, jt over 10% of Amerins thought gayns was somethg you were born wh, acrdg to Gallup. Throughout the same perd, the number of Amerins who believe homosexualy is “due to someone’s upbrgg/environment” fell om jt unr 60% to ias reached cril mass pop culture, first wh Lady Gaga’s 2011 Born This Way and one year later wh Macklemore’s Same Love, the chos of which has a gay person sgg “I n’t change even if I tried, even if I wanted to. ” Around the same time, the Human Rights Campaign clared unequivolly that “Beg gay is not a choice, ” and to claim that is “giv unwarranted crence to roundly disproven practic such as nversn or reparative therapy.

TELL: AN INTIMATE HISTORY OF GAY MEN THE MILARY

”People who challenge the Born This Way narrative are often st as homophobic, and their thkg is nsired backwardAs Jane Ward not Not Gay: Sex Between Straight Whe Men, what’s tertg about many of the claims is how transparent their speakers are wh their polil motivatns. “Such statements, ” she wr, “fe blogil acunts wh an obligatory and nearly ercive force, suggtg that anyone who scrib homosexual sire as a choice or social nstctn is playg to the hands of the enemy.

” People who challenge the Born This Way narrative are often st as homophobic, and their thkg is nsired backward – even if they are themselv, for example, Cynthia Nixon of Sex and The Cy fame. ”Gay rights do not have to hge on a geic explanatn for sexualy (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)For Aravosis, and many gay activists like him, the public will only accept and affirm gay people if they thk they were born gay. In fact, the homophobic and non-homophobic rponnts he studied shared siar levels of belief a Born This Way Samantha Allen not at The Daily Beast, the growg public support for gays and lbians has grown out of proportn wh the rise the number of people who believe homosexualy is fixed at birth; would be unlikely that this small change opn uld expla the spike support for gay marriage, for stance.

GAY CULTURE HAS GROWN TOXIC WH UNCHECKED PRIVILEGE. IT'S TIME FOR TO RET

“It don’t seem to matter as much whether or not people believe that gay people are born that way as do that they simply know someone who is currently gay, ” Allen spe of the studi, those who ph agast Born This Way narrativ have been heavily cricised by gay activists. Siarly, Ward has received her own hatemail for phg agast the lg LGB narrativ, wh some gays tellg her she’s “worse than Ann Coulter, ” the ntroversial US thor of books like If Democrats Had Any Bras, They’d Be Republins. There is a unanimo opn that gay “nversn therapy” should be rejectedLet’s first be clear that whatever the origs of our sexual orientatn, there is a unanimo opn that gay “nversn therapy” should be rejected.

RAIRS’ CARL NASSIB ANNOUNC HE’S GAY, AN N.F.L. FIRST

The efforts are potentially harmful, acrdg to the APA, “bee they prent the view that the sexual orientatn of lbian, gay and bisexual youth is a mental illns of disorr, and they often ame the abily to change one’s sexual orientatn as a personal and moral failure. The APA, for example, while notg that most people experience ltle to no choice over their orientatns, says this of homosexualy’s origs:“Although much rearch has examed the possible geic, hormonal, velopmental, social and cultural fluenc on sexual orientatn, no fdgs have emerged that perm scientists to nclu that sexual orientatn is termed by any particular factor or factors. ”Siarly, the Amerin Psychiatric Associatn wr a 2013 statement that while the of heterosexualy and homosexualy are currently unknown, they are likely “multifactorial cludg blogil and behavral roots which may vary between different dividuals and may even vary over time.

” Acrdg to LeVay’s rearch, a specific part of the bra, the third terstial nucls of the anterr hypothalam (INAH-3), is smaller homosexual men than is heterosexual as they might, scientists have stggled to inty any particular gen that nsistently predict the directns of our love and sire (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)Read moreYou n spot the problem wh this study a e away: were the gay bras LeVay studied born that way, or did they bee that way?

Bis the dividual criqu leveled agast each new study announcg some gay gene disvery, there are major methodologil cricisms to make about the entire enterprise general, as Grzanka pots out: “If we look at the raveno pursu, particularly among Amerin scientists, to fd a gay gene, what we see is that the ncln has already been arrived at. ” Our sir may exprs themselv many different ways that do not all nform to existg notns of ‘gay’, ‘straight’ or ‘bisexual’ is one of the bt takeaways of Ward’s Not Gay, a peratg analysis of sex between straight whe men. ”Gay or not, our sir are oriented and re-oriented throughout our liv (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)In fact, the straight-intified men Ward studied for her book sometim found themselv suatns that sparked the sire for homosexual sex: aterni, ployments, public rtrooms, etc.