Tell: An Intimate History of Gay Men the Milary | GQ

forse so gay

<p><strong>Sadhbh Walshe:</strong> The myth is that prison is a gay man's paradise. The realy is a choice of eher rape and abe or enslavement as a 'prison ho'</p>

Contents:

THE GRIM TTH OF BEG GAY PRISON

* forse so gay *

In 1984, when Calv Burde was awag sentencg for allegedly stabbg his gay lover to ath, the prosecutg attorney enuraged the jury his closg remarks to award Burde the ath penalty, rather than life prison, on the grounds that sendg a gay man to prison was ak to sendg a kid to a ndy store. His ath sentence was later overturned (mostly bee Burde's public fenr had slept through much of his trial), but the homophobic thkg – that prison is some kd of paradise for gay men – lgers realy of life prison for homosexuals and transgenr dividuals do not appear to reflect this myth. He scribed a lany of btal rap, asslts, beatgs and, eventually, the total abandonment of his male inty as his only means of survival the hyper-mascule and often homophobic prison environment.

‘I AM GAY – BUT I WASN’T BORN THIS WAY’

The phrase “that’s so gay” has tradnally been unrstood as homophobic. Stonewall’s School Report argued this posn, and will be discsed their upg Edutn Conference. Stonewall argu… * forse so gay *

His acunt suggts that far om beg a paradise, prison for gay men n be a livg days of his first enterg prison, the 23-year-old Rodney claimed he was the victim of three separate sexual asslts, volvg five different mat. The prison he was first sent to did actually have a separate tier for gay mat, but acrdg to Rodney, bee he did not "appear overly effemate" durg his classifitn, he was placed wh the general populatn; and bee was supposedly rare to have a gay person slip through the cracks of the system, his fellow mat took full advantage.

FOOTBALL IS SO GAY: FORCED MASCULY PRO SPORTS HALTS SOCIAL PROGRS

John Kichi thks football players are kiddg themselv. That’s an unrstatement — the Sewickley, Pennsylvania, thor and illtrator actually thks the entire sport is really, really gay. Kichi’s most recent picture book, “Football is Soooo Gay” is a diatribe to what he nsirs an sential tth: football is an herently homosexual sport. Men only play... * forse so gay *

It's difficult to asss how typil Rodney's prison experience is, but numero studi nducted by the Bure of Jtice Statistics, based on anonymo mate surveys, have shown that gay and transgenr mat are among the most targeted groups for sexual victimizatn. Jt Detentn Internatnal (JDI), an anizatn whose aim is to eradite prison rape (pdf), is tryg to change has been workg wh the California Department of Correctns and Rehabilatn (CDCR) to tablish "sensive needs yards" (pdf), where gay, transgenr and other vulnerable mat n serve out their time safety.

Worst of all, though, the shame attached to the memori of those first tim marred how I would approach sex for years.It was listeng to Years & Years’ new song “Sanctify,” and seeg the band’s out gay sger Olly Alexanr talk about how the song was spired his sexual trysts wh straight men, that I realized that the feelgs are way more mon than people let on.

Sure, I know all about gay guys havg sex wh straight guys, but felt reassurg to see him scribe the “sat and sner role” he embodied durg those experienc, and to hear the uncertaty and melancholy weaved to the song.More than anythg though, was the repeated lyril mantra of “I won’t be ashamed.” Bee as queer people, we’re buried lifetime’s worth of shame so vivid and searg that oftentim ’s cripplg. I argued that straight men’s e of phras like “that’s so gay” uld only be unrstood by three key factors: first, the tent wh which was said; send, the social ntext (homophobic or otherwise); and third, the effect had. If young gay people are sayg that they do not experience the phrase “that’s so gay” as homophobic – and if they are even g the phrase themselv – then perhaps we should accept their arguments and ncentrate on other battl.

FORD UNVEILED A 'VERY GAY' TCK RPONSE TO A HOMOPHOBIC COMMENTER

An onle menter lled the new Ford Raptor Ranger "gay," so Ford created the #VeryGayRaptor time for Berl's Pri celebratns. * forse so gay *

Growg up, there were gay kids who uld duck and ver when me to their sexualy, and then there were kids like me who get lled by their mom’s nam when they answered the phone, even though they were fourteen years old and the time for that should have passed. You so obvly nnot be gay, was her implitn, bee this is good was 2006, a full five years before Lady Gaga would set the Born This Way argument atop s unassailable cultural perch, but even then the popular unrstandg of orientatn was that was somethg you were born wh, somethg you uldn’t change.

TELL: AN INTIMATE HISTORY OF GAY MEN THE MILARY

As "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" to an end, we sent Chris Heath to terview dozens of gay servicemen om the past and prent to fd out what life was really like as Ameri's ary stggled wh s last great inty crisis * forse so gay *

But what feels most accurate to say is that I’m gay – but I wasn’t born this people may fd their sir changg directn - and n't jt be explaed as experimentatn (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)In 1977, jt over 10% of Amerins thought gayns was somethg you were born wh, acrdg to Gallup. Throughout the same perd, the number of Amerins who believe homosexualy is “due to someone’s upbrgg/environment” fell om jt unr 60% to ias reached cril mass pop culture, first wh Lady Gaga’s 2011 Born This Way and one year later wh Macklemore’s Same Love, the chos of which has a gay person sgg “I n’t change even if I tried, even if I wanted to. ” Around the same time, the Human Rights Campaign clared unequivolly that “Beg gay is not a choice, ” and to claim that is “giv unwarranted crence to roundly disproven practic such as nversn or reparative therapy.

”People who challenge the Born This Way narrative are often st as homophobic, and their thkg is nsired backwardAs Jane Ward not Not Gay: Sex Between Straight Whe Men, what’s tertg about many of the claims is how transparent their speakers are wh their polil motivatns. “Such statements, ” she wr, “fe blogil acunts wh an obligatory and nearly ercive force, suggtg that anyone who scrib homosexual sire as a choice or social nstctn is playg to the hands of the enemy. ” People who challenge the Born This Way narrative are often st as homophobic, and their thkg is nsired backward – even if they are themselv, for example, Cynthia Nixon of Sex and The Cy fame.

GAY CULTURE HAS GROWN TOXIC WH UNCHECKED PRIVILEGE. IT'S TIME FOR TO RET

An open letter to my fellow whe gay cis men: there should be no "returng to normal" after this. * forse so gay *

”Gay rights do not have to hge on a geic explanatn for sexualy (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)For Aravosis, and many gay activists like him, the public will only accept and affirm gay people if they thk they were born gay. In fact, the homophobic and non-homophobic rponnts he studied shared siar levels of belief a Born This Way Samantha Allen not at The Daily Beast, the growg public support for gays and lbians has grown out of proportn wh the rise the number of people who believe homosexualy is fixed at birth; would be unlikely that this small change opn uld expla the spike support for gay marriage, for stance.

RAIRS’ CARL NASSIB ANNOUNC HE’S GAY, AN N.F.L. FIRST

“It don’t seem to matter as much whether or not people believe that gay people are born that way as do that they simply know someone who is currently gay, ” Allen spe of the studi, those who ph agast Born This Way narrativ have been heavily cricised by gay activists. Siarly, Ward has received her own hatemail for phg agast the lg LGB narrativ, wh some gays tellg her she’s “worse than Ann Coulter, ” the ntroversial US thor of books like If Democrats Had Any Bras, They’d Be Republins. There is a unanimo opn that gay “nversn therapy” should be rejectedLet’s first be clear that whatever the origs of our sexual orientatn, there is a unanimo opn that gay “nversn therapy” should be rejected.

The efforts are potentially harmful, acrdg to the APA, “bee they prent the view that the sexual orientatn of lbian, gay and bisexual youth is a mental illns of disorr, and they often ame the abily to change one’s sexual orientatn as a personal and moral failure.

The APA, for example, while notg that most people experience ltle to no choice over their orientatns, says this of homosexualy’s origs:“Although much rearch has examed the possible geic, hormonal, velopmental, social and cultural fluenc on sexual orientatn, no fdgs have emerged that perm scientists to nclu that sexual orientatn is termed by any particular factor or factors.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* FORSE SO GAY

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i{paddg-right:0.3125rem;}</style><h1 class="css-sgwfvb exadjwu10"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span>Ford Unveiled a 'Very Gay' Tck Rponse to a Homophobic Commenter<span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h1><style data-emotn="css gpc83z">{lor:#595959;font-fay:GraphikBold,GraphikBold-fallback,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-weight:normal;marg-bottom:0.625rem;marg-top:0.625rem;text-align:center;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.125rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.125rem;le-height:1.2;}} a{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;} a:hover{lor:#d2232e;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><div class="css-gpc83z exadjwu8"><p>An onle menter lled the new Raptor Ranger "gay," and Ford took that as a challenge.</p></div><style data-emotn="css 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1rxc7sd">{lor:#6F6F6F;display:le;font-fay:GraphikBold,GraphikBold-fallback,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-weight:bold;letter-spacg:0.03rem;paddg-right:0.3125rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.71434rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.72308rem;le-height:1.2;}}</style><span class="css-1rxc7sd ehvvd9m1"><style data-emotn="css 1sa04t">{borr-radi:50%;vertil-align:middle;marg-right:0.3125rem;object-f:ver;}</style><img src="" alt="Headshot of Philip Ellis" tle="Headshot of Philip Ellis" width="40" height="40" dg="async" fetchPrry="high" class=" css-1sa04t ehvvd9m0" />By <style data-emotn="css 1nlla76">{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}{lor:#d2232e;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><a href="/thor/222571/philip-ellis/" class="css-1nlla76 e1c1bym14">Philip Ellis</a></span><style data-emotn="css w0ebia">{display:le-block;text-transform:upperse;marg-left:0.625rem;}</style><time class="css-w0ebia exadjwu6">Published: Sep 3, 2021</time></addrs></div><style data-emotn="css wkpw2c">{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webk-flex-directn:lumn;-ms-flex-directn:lumn;flex-directn:lumn;-webk-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webk-jtify-ntent:center;jtify-ntent:center;-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;}</style><div class="no-prt css-wkpw2c exadjwu15"><style data-emotn="css 1hpjtwr">{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;posn:relative;marg-top:0.9375rem;}</style><div class="ntent-hear-actns css-1hpjtwr exadjwu14"><style data-emotn="css 1ws6gao">{-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;background-lor:#d2232e;borr:th solid 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.e152u5os0{width:100vw;marg-left:lc(-1 * 1rem);}}@media(m-width: 48rem) and (max-width: 61.25rem){{marg-left:to;marg-right:to;} .e152u5os0{width:100vw;marg-left:lc((100vw - (lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem) - 2 * 1rem)) / -2);}}@media(m-width: 61.25rem) and (max-width: 90rem){{max-width:lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem);marg-left:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem) - 1rem - 20.625rem) / 2);paddg-left:1rem;paddg-right:1rem;} .e152u5os0{width:100vw;marg-left:lc(lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem) - 1rem - 20.625rem) / -2) - 1rem);}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{marg-left:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem)) / 2);max-width:lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem);paddg-left:1rem;paddg-right:1rem;} .e152u5os0{width:100vw;marg-left:lc(lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 + 1rem)) / -2) - lc(2 * 1rem));}[data-has-sponsor] {marg-left:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem)) / 4);marg-right:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem)) / 4);}}</style><div class="standard-ntaer ntent-ntaer article-ntaer css-7ce51e ewisyje3"><style data-emotn="css trzem2">{jtify-self:center;posn:relative;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{marg-left:-50vw;marg-right:-50vw;width:100vw;left:50%;right:50%;}}</style><div class="ntent-lead css-trzem2 ewisyje6"><style data-emotn="css sm2oir">{height:to;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{marg:to lc(50% - 50vw);}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{marg:to;}}</style><div class="ntent-lead-image css-sm2oir e5f9kgu2"><style data-emotn="css eag3eq">{posn:relative;height:to;}</style><div class="css-eag3eq e5f9kgu1"><style data-emotn="css 335qep">{posn:relative;width:100%;height:100%;object-f:ver;vertil-align:top;}</style><img fetchPrry="high" alt="ford, ford raptor, pri, verygayraptor" tle="ford, ford raptor, pri, verygayraptor" width="1049" height="590" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-335qep exi4f7p0" /></div><style data-emotn="css 285vyd">{le-height:1;}@media(max-width: 73.75rem){{paddg-left:0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{paddg-left:0;}}</style><figptn class="css-285vyd enfs9c50"><style data-emotn="css 11z3u4d">{lor:#6F6F6F;font-fay:GraphikBold,GraphikBold-fallback,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-weight:bold;letter-spacg:0.03rem;paddg-right:0.3125rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.71434rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.72308rem;le-height:1.2;}}</style><span class="css-11z3u4d e6iqd2">Ford</span></figptn></div></div><style data-emotn="css z6i669">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;posn:relative;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{paddg-left:3.5rem;paddg-right:3.5rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem) and (max-width: 61.25rem){{max-width:45.25rem;marg-left:to;marg-right:to;}}@media(m-width: 61.25rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem) and (max-width: 100rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}} em{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-style:alic;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;}{clear:both;ntent:" ";display:block;font-size:0.7rem;le-height:1.5rem;height:0rem;visibily:hidn;}</style><div class="article-body-ntent article-body standard-body-ntent css-z6i669 ewisyje7"><style data-emotn="css 18vfmjb">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;} em{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-style:alic;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;}</style><p data-no-id="0" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">While the practice is, luckily, beg more and more a thg of the past, there are sadly still people out there who will e the term "gay" as a pejorative. That kd of sual, everyday homophobia is ls socially acceptable than ed to be— part due to the fact that now people are more cled to ll out when they see or hear . And that clus r manufacturer Ford.</p><p data-no-id="1" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">The European divisn of the to giant recently released a mercial advertisg the new special edn <style data-emotn="css 38knzi">{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.125rem;text-ratn-lor:#d2232e;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}{lor:#000;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;background-lor:#F3B032;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}</style><a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Ford Ranger Raptor" class="body-lk css-38knzi et3p2gv0">Ford Ranger Raptor</a>, showsg the vehicle's quali a Wtern-spired vio entled <em>The Good, the Bad and the Bad-R.S.E.</em> (a slightly clumsy pun which plays on a Brish pronunciatn of "badass"). Rponse to the ad was largely posive, and the majory of menters appeared to be imprsed wh the new Raptor. One menter om Germany, however, scribed the choice of blue lor as "very gay."</p><p data-no-id="2" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">There is an argument to be ma that when faced wh such an immature, regrsive ment, you should simply ignore , so as to ny that dividual of the attentn they are tryg to get. The marketg team at Ford adopted a slightly different approach, and stead took the ment as a challenge: What would a "very gay" versn of their tck look like?</p><div data-no-id="3" data-teractive="WatchNext-1" class="journey-unblur-ntent css-0 e10xr3vp6"><style data-emotn="css 1ujafpv">{clear:both;marg-bottom:0.9375rem;paddg:0rem;posn:relative;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{width:100%;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{paddg:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:25rem;float:left;marg-right:1.25rem;}}@media(m-width: 61.25rem){{marg-left:0;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{marg-left:max(512px - 50vw, -5%);paddg:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{marg-left:max(590px - 50vw, -20%);}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{marg-left:-40%;}}</style><div data-embed="watch-next" class="css-1ujafpv e10xr3vp5"><style data-emotn="css 111hc4z">{text-align:left;marg:0 to;max-width:60rem;borr:none;borr-top:th solid #CDCDCD;borr-bottom:th solid #CDCDCD;paddg-bottom:1.4rem;}</style><div class="css-111hc4z e10xr3vp4"><style data-emotn="css 4f9862">{marg-bottom:0rem;paddg:0.625rem 0;}</style><div class="css-4f9862 e10xr3vp3"><style data-emotn="css wi6o8o">{marg:0rem;font-weight:normal;font-fay:GraphikConnsed,GraphikConnsed-fallback,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-size:1.5rem;le-height:1.2;text-transform:upperse;}</style><h6 class="css-wi6o8o e10xr3vp2"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><span class="css-0 e10xr3vp1">More From Men's Health</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h6><style data-emotn="css 1juykas">{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;-webk-box-pack:left;-ms-flex-pack:left;-webk-jtify-ntent:left;jtify-ntent:left;marg:0rem;font-weight:normal;m-height:2.4rem;font-fay:GraphikBold,GraphikBold-fallback,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-size:1.125rem;le-height:1.3;}</style><h6 class="css-1juykas e10xr3vp0"> </h6></div><style data-emotn="css 1ui7hop">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;--aspect-rat:56.25%;}</style><div class="__rp-ntaer css-1ui7hop e6l0f0"><style data-emotn="css 1yu8e3d">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;width:100%;height:100%;} .__rp-ntaer{height:to;}</style><div data-embed="embed-vio" class="vio-player css-1yu8e3d e1ou1fny0"><style data-emotn="css 1uds6oo">{height:100%;width:100%;posn:relative;}</style><div class="css-1uds6oo e1f7ylgd6"><style data-emotn="css w2pm9t">{background-lor:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.4);borr:.1875rem solid whe;borr-radi:50%;lor:#fff;cursor:poter;height:3.75rem;left:50%;posn:absolute;-webk-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-moz-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-ms-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-webk-transn:all 0.4s;transn:all 0.4s;width:3.75rem;z-x:1;}.e1f7ylgd6:hover {background-lor:rgba(33, 150, 245, 0.8);lor:#ffffff;}@media(m-width: 20rem){{top:26%;}}@media(m-width: 30rem){{top:29.5%;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{top:32.5%;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{top:34.5%;height:5.625rem;width:5.625rem;borr:.28125rem solid whe;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{top:35%;}}@media(m-width: 75rem){{top:35.8%;}}</style><button aria-label="Play Vio" class="css-w2pm9t e1f7ylgd1"><style data-emotn="css 1lhf7lq">{fill:#ffffff;height:1.4rem;vertil-align:middle;width:1.45rem;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:2.3125rem;height:3rem;}}</style><svg xmlns=" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" style="fill: var(--primary, #000);" role="img" tle="Play" class="css-1lhf7lq e1f7ylgd2"><tle>play in .

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