I am a straight girl, but wish I uld be wh a gay guy. | Srleteen

Contents:

• WHY ARE SO MANY GAY ROMANCE NOVELS WRTEN BY STRAIGHT WOMEN?
• WHAT'S THE SCIENCE BEHD STRAIGHT WOMEN LIKG GAY MEN?
• AGE DIFFERENC GAY COUPL
• WHY STRAIGHT WOMEN ARE ATTRACTED TO GAY MEN
• I AM A STRAIGHT GIRL, BUT WISH I ULD BE WH A GAY GUY.
• WHAT WOMEN WANT: GAY MALE ROMANCE NOVELS
• GAY ROMANCE: EROTIC?

WHY ARE SO MANY GAY ROMANCE NOVELS WRTEN BY STRAIGHT WOMEN?

(Technilly what I’m talkg about is lled “male/male romance”; “gay romance” is wrten by gay men for gay men, may not foc on a romantic relatnship, and don’t guarantee a happily-ever-after. The first time I noticed this, I flipped the book over my hands, back and forth, lookg at the ultra-gay ver art, and then the thor’s photo on the back. In this dynamic, which I see enacted gay romance novels, the tth of the man’s queerns is erased, bee the character is gay only the ways the straight woman thor n image.

When a straight woman cis to “reem” the gay narrative by makg her ma characters mastream-hot, cisgenred, able-bodied guys, and “giv them” a happy endg, she is not makg progrs. My cricism of straight women -optg gay bodi for their own pleasure is based on the belief that no person n ethilly e other people, pecially margalized people, to benef themselv. Straight women seem to feel entled to wre gay characters bee they thk homosexualy is simply an herent sire to attract and please a man.

The gems are the fulfillment of what gay romance n be: LGBTQ thors, wrg about LGBTQ characters, for an dience of all kds of rears, cludg straight women. As Gee Michael told The Guardian a 2005 terview: “Gay people the media are dog what mak straight people fortable, and tomatilly my rponse to that is to say I’m a dirty filthy fucker and if you n’t al wh , you n’t al wh . Instead of perpetuatg the dynamic of gay men tg straight women, or signg their choic, straight women who want to wre gay romance might ask themselv the qutns any wrer should: Why am I wrg this?

WHAT'S THE SCIENCE BEHD STRAIGHT WOMEN LIKG GAY MEN?

Instead of occupyg space a genre that objectifi gay people, is better to support gay thors, pecially wrers of gay romance and other LGBTQ-centered stori. They talk about “mory strs” and an epimic of lonels among gay men, spe recent gas equaly and acceptance pop culture and society at worst of all, the articl suggt that we pe wh our strs isolatn.

I’ve been rearchg peace for for ne years as part of my documentary film A Chance for Peace, and one of the ma lsons I’ve learned is that we n’t know somethg whout first knowg s I’m here to put fear asi for a mute and majorly strs an epimic of love among gay men — bee, although “love” and “gay” may be an unpopular pairg at prent, ’s a msage worth spreadg. Books, televisn shows and feature-length films have all highlighted this unique relatnship, noted for s closens and wh society's attus toward gays and lbians changg, 's bee all the more important to build a holistic unrstandg of the relatnships between gay and straight a rearcher social psychology, I've often wonred: Why do straight female-gay male relatnships work so well? Specifilly, I believe evolutnary psychology and human matg n help expla why relatnships between straight women and gay men tend to flourish.

AGE DIFFERENC GAY COUPL

Bee gay men don't mate wh women—or pete wh them for mat—women feel a certa level of fort wh gay men, and the procs of formg a close iendship n occur relatively heterosexual men (who, by fn, are sexually attracted to women), the procs is longer—and potentially more ght—bee men may be grapplg wh their own sexual other words, bee gay men are attracted to their own genr, they're a "safe bet" for women—at least, om a socblogil three years ago, I ially tted this theory a seri of experiments that have served as the foundatn of my rearch program on gay-straight the experiments, straight female participants were shown fict Facebook profil pictg eher a straight woman, straight man or gay man. I also reced gay male participants, and had them plete the same task (wh the gay men viewg Facebook profil pictg a straight female, gay male or lbian female) experiments, published the journal Evolutnary Psychology, monstrated that straight women and gay men perceived one another to be tstworthy sourc of relatnship and datg advice. Crackg the why and whenRecently, my lleagu and I at the Universy of Texas at Arlgton veloped a seri of four related tled the four studi "Why (and When) Straight Women Tst Gay Men: Ulterr Matg Motiv and Female Competn, " wh the hope of better tablishg why straight women tst gay men and when straight women would be most likely to seek out gay men for iendship and the first study, I wanted to replite the fdg that women tst gay men more than straight men or straight women.

This time, however, I wanted to see if women would only tst gay men's datg-related advice as opposed to other typ of turns out straight women only tsted a gay man's advice about a potential boyiend more than the same advice om, say, a straight man or another straight woman. It really only had to do wh one thg: datg and further exame why this might be the se, we had women image receivg rmatn om eher a straight woman, straight man, or a gay man about their physil appearance and the dateabily of potential boyiends.

We then asked the women how scere they felt the rpons expected, the female subjects seemed to perceive the judgments g om the gay man to be more scere bee they knew that he wouldn't have any ulterr motiv—whether that meant woog the subject (which they might spect of straight men) or petg for the same romantic partner (straight women) the fal two studi, we wanted to figure out when women were most likely to beiend and place their tst gay men.

WHY STRAIGHT WOMEN ARE ATTRACTED TO GAY MEN

We predicted that this would most often occur highly petive datg environments, where a tstworthy source like a gay iend would be valued by women jockeyg wh one another for a tt this, we created a fake news article that tailed extremely skewed sex rats, ditg that women llege were petg over a very small pool of men. We had women read this news article and then dite how much they would tst a straight woman or a gay man var datg-related women read the news article about the creased petn, their tst gay men was amplified. Not only were women more apt to tst gay men unr this ndn, but we also found that they beme more willg to make gay male datg adviceThe downsi is that if a straight woman valu her gay male iends only for datg advice, the relatnship uld bee que superficial (see Chris Rtta's say "I'm Gay, Not Your Accsory").

However, the strong tst that women ially form wh gay men n serve as a primer; eventually, this tst uld extend to other areas, wh the iendship blossomg over fdgs—bed wh our own—show that there seems to be an extremely strong psychologil unrpng for why women are so drawn to gay stance, a recent study the Journal of Bs and Psychology revealed that straight women tend to hire gay men over other heterosexual dividuals bee they perceive gay men to be more petent and warmer.

Furthermore, marketg rearchers have suggted that straight women prefer to work wh gay male sal associat over others nsumer retail two fdgs alone uld have many posive implitns for gay men the workplace. Bee many women seem to value put and ntributns of gay men the settgs, 's likely that we'll see a more clive workplace environment for gay men.

I AM A STRAIGHT GIRL, BUT WISH I ULD BE WH A GAY GUY.

Although much of this rearch foc on why women are drawn to iendships wh gay men, another obv avenue of exploratn is whether or not gay men are siarly keen to form iendships wh straight women. For example, a study I nducted 2013, I found that gay men also look to women for tstworthy datg advice or tips for fdg a prospective rearchers have suggted that gay men value the posive attus towards homosexualy that women tend to have (relative to straight men) this se, the implic tst seems to be a two-way Rsell is a Ph.

(though lets be hont, 80% of the world probably agre wh me and is to sred to speak out due to the wrath of the remag 20% (10% gays and 10% SJW's)). Many quiri I have received over and over aga through the years beg somethg like this: “I've always liked olr men, but many gay iends close to my age are cril of me and spic of my motiv. Var labels have been ascribed to tergeneratnal upl, whether straight, gay or bisexual: tergeneratnal, age-gap, age-discrepant, or, more often than not, “May-December” relatnships.

Inially, I was unnvced the relatnships were ser, but that was bee I held stereotypil views: an olr gay man who was lookg for a trophy-mate and has the money to take re of his boy toy and a younger man who was lookg for a sugar daddy.

WHAT WOMEN WANT: GAY MALE ROMANCE NOVELS

Based on the number of tim this qutn drops to my mailbox, the reasons for the age-discrepant attractns nsum a great al of bandwidth the thoughts of a lot of young gay and bisexual men. Was pletg his doctoral dissertatn, “May-December: Navigatg Life as an Intergeneratnal Gay Couple, ” he thoroughly rearched what proved to be the limed available lerature on tergeneratnal upl.

Adam* said was dangero to e out as gay his home untry and feared beg forced to an arranged marriage wh a said he was "so lucky" to wed his soulmate, Ray, Manchter and wish everyone uld marry who they love. There are more than 60 untri wh laws that crimalise same-sex sexual acts acrdg to the Internatnal Lbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Associatn, cludg Sdi Arabia.

'Authentilly myself'Ray said he had also stggled growg up gay the 1970s and 80s England, which was "tough" said his relig school "dmmed to you, 'you are gog to hell'" Adam returned home to Sdi Arabia, spe beg more than 3, 000 apart and later rtricted by the Covid-19 panmic, they kept touch daily and the romance years ago, Ray proposed on a vio ll and after succsfully applyg for a UK fiancé visa, Adam moved to Manchter December 2022. Adam said he had been aaid to even wear lours his home untry so the first thg he did when he moved was start to "grow my mullet, got my ears pierced and booked appotments for tattoos" relled how, ntrast, one of his gay iends Sdi had been forced to marry a woman, addg: "It has ed not only his life but the life of his wife. The uple, who live London, said a "really betiful memory" was on the way home when one of their sons shouted out of the black b wdow to Trafalgar Square, "My dads jt got married" and cheered "Yay, gay marriage".

GAY ROMANCE: EROTIC?

Sure, an ocsnal teenage girl falls for a boy who's gay, but don't take most girls very long to figure out that, this se, where there's smoke, there's most fely not fire. In general, the attractn women feel for gay men tends to be emotnal nature, clearg the way for a highly satisfyg relatnship that outlasts most other relatnships gay men and straight women have.

To beg, I'll addrs how and why straight women are emotnally attracted to gay men—an attractn, by the way, that is returned by gay men spas. Send, straight women love gay men bee closens wh gay men provis a wdow to how the mds of men work, somethg that women want to know as they navigate datg waters wh their straight male peers.

Though there are, of urse, differenc between straight and gay men, gay men are neverthels men who share many characteristics and motivatns wh straight men.