‘My First Gay Bar’: 25 Comg-of-Age Stori | Andrew Solomon

my first experience at a gay bar

Is a panmic a good time for one’s first gay sexual experience?

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‘MY FIRST GAY BAR’: RACHEL MADDOW, ANDY COHEN AND OTHERS SHARE THEIR COMG-OUT STORI

Jane Lynch, Alexanr Wang, Rosie O’Donnell and others reflect on what gay bars mean to them, the aftermath of the shootg Orlando, Fla. * my first experience at a gay bar *

Christian Hansen for The New York TimJune 22, 2016For generatns of gays and lbians, pecially those for whom walkg to the sometime secret and darkened doorway of one was often the first step the g-out procs, gay bars have long held a signifint place their personal was never more apparent than the days followg the mass shootgs at Pulse, the gay nightclub Orlando, Fla., which 49 patrons lost their liv, and which prompted many to rell the nights they had spent siar settgs, and the sense of muny they found there. “Every gay man Ameri remembers the first time they went to a gay bar and how they felt. ”Below, some other proment gays and lbians rell what gay bars meant to them as they began to embrace their sexualy, some eagerly and some nervoly.

Charl Syk/Invisn, via Associated PrsAndy Cohen Televisn host and producerI ed to sneak away om my straight iends at Boston Universy and go to Chaps (gay bars often have hypermascule nam) Boston’s Back Bay. They were an pe om the (often uniendly) outsi world, packed every night of the week, and everyone si was a Heisler/The New York TimLarry Kramer Playwright, thor and activistIn 1953, gay bars were sry. It would still be a bunch of years before gay bars would start beg ls sry, and a lot of Beck/Agence France-Prse — Getty ImagJane Lynch ActrsThe first gay bar I ever went to was the Cubbyhole when was on Hudson Street the Wt Village.

Brendan Hoffman/Getty ImagRachel Maddow Host of MSNBC’s “The Rachel Maddow Show” The first time I went to a gay bar was 1990, thanks to a fairly terrible fake ID that I bought for $25. That fake ID was my lifele for years bee got me to the only plac where I uld fd the gay muny that I so wanted to be part of. Charl Syk/Associated PrsBilly Eichner Actor and edianMy first gay bar New York was the Duplex, bee was kd of a soft lnch to the gay world.

‘MY FIRST GAY BAR’: 25 COMG-OF-AGE STORI

Guys and gals... I really don't know why I am postg this but I am bee I want to tell everyone. I went to a gay bar for the first time last night... * my first experience at a gay bar *

I went to school at Northwtern and lived wh a bunch of gay guys, and we would go out to Boystown, the big strip of gay bars Chigo. Elizabeth Lippman for The New York Tim Honey DijonPerformerRialto Tap Chigo was the first black gay bar I went to, and what I really remember was the cracked tile dance floor.

I WENT TO A GAY BAR FOR THE FIRST TIME!

Gee Takei, Perez Hilton and Michael Mto, among others, talk about the first time they "felt ee" at a gay bar. * my first experience at a gay bar *

From that day on, “bakery” was our word for gay Hawthorne/Getty ImagKeh BoykBroadster and thorOn a Sunday night July 1991, at a sprawlg plex lled Tracks the District of Columbia, I found thoands of young black gay men and lbians.

GEE TAKEI, PEREZ HILTON, MICHAEL MTO AND MORE OPEN UP ABOUT THEIR FIRST GAY BAR EXPERIENCE

One day I heard the privilege of visg a gay bar. I did this not once or even twice, actually severally. I did not vis the place as a gay given I am a straight person but jt wanted to learn a b om them. I purpose to get faiarized wh their way of livg, unrstand their pot of view when me to * my first experience at a gay bar *

At tim, as I walked around the three dance floors, seemed as though everyone Washgton was gay.

MY EXPERIENCE VISG A GAY BAR

* my first experience at a gay bar *

But here, unlike the whe gay clubs, the patrons appreciated, and fact reveled , black bety. For the first time my life, I felt not only siro of others but sirable to them as Counts/Getty ImagAlison BechlCartoonist, thor of the graphic memoir “Fun Home” My first gay bar was Satan’s, Akron, Oh.

But that night, the large mixed crowd (there weren’t enough gay people to support a separate club for women), I experienced the profound existential relief, for once, of not beg the only queer.

” I remember the closeted aterny boys, who had jt dropped their dat at the sorory hoe — and the girls who loved to sp and gyrate on the dance floor, earng the attentn of adorg gay boys.

"I WENT TO A GAY BAR LAST NIGHT FOR THE FIRST TIME""IT WAS LIKE STEPPG TO A SANCTUARY."{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}LIFEBY CHRISTOPHER RUDOLPHJANUARY 20, 2017/3:40 {HEIGHT:HER;DISPLAY:-WEBK-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-FLEX;DISPLAY:-MS-FLEXBOX;DISPLAY:FLEX;POSN:RELATIVE;-WEBK-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-MS-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-WEBK-ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-ALIGN:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-ALIGN:CENTER;ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-PACK:CENTER;-WEBK-JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-PACK:CENTER;JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-WEBK-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;-MS-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;} IMG{HEIGHT:100%;WIDTH:100%;OBJECT-F:VER;}{HEIGHT:574PX;WIDTH:1020PX;}DAVID MCNEW/GETTY IMAGWEST HOLLYWOOD, CA - OCTOBER 09: PEOPLE AT THE LGBT-IENDLY BAR 10 REACT TO MENTS MA BY DONALD TMP DURG THE SEND PRINTIAL BATE BETWEEN REPUBLIN PRINTIAL NOMEE DONALD TMP AND DEMOCRATIC PRINTIAL NOMEE HILLARY CLTON ON OCTOBER 9, 2016 WT HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA. (PHOTO BY DAVID MCNEW/GETTY IMAG)BY CHRISTOPHER RUDOLPHJANUARY 20, 2017 / 3:40 PM{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"NEWSARTICLE","HEADLE":"\"I WENT TO A GAY BAR LAST NIGHT FOR THE FIRST TIME\"","THUMBNAILURL":","DATEPUBLISHED":"2017-01-20T20:40:04.000+0000","DATEMODIFIED":"2017-01-20T20:40:04.000+0000","IMAGE":{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","URL":","WIDTH":1920,"HEIGHT":1080},"URL":","THOR":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","NAME":"LOGO TV"},"MAENTYOFPAGE":{"@TYPE":"WEBPAGE","@ID":"},"PUBLISHER":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","@ID":","NAME":"LOGO TV","URL":","LOGO":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT"}},"CREATOR":"CHRISTOPHER RUDOLPH","ARTICLESECTN":"LIFE"}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}YOU REMEMBER YOUR FIRST GAY BAR, RIGHT? THAT FEELG OF ELATN MIXED WH FEAR SHG OVER YOU AS YOU WALKED AND FOUND OTHER MEMBERS OF YOUR {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}A MEMBER OF REDD'S LBGT SUBREDD RECENTLY SHARED THAT HE MA HIS VIRG PILGRIMAGE TO A GAY BAR THE OTHER {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}"I ME OUT TO MYSELF SHORTLY AFTER LEAVG THE MORMON CHURCH LAST YEAR," POSTED MEMAHSELFNI. "I GUS I'D BEEN GAY MY WHOLE LIFE BUT WAS HUGE NIAL OVER UNTIL I LEFT MY RELIGN AND REALIZED I FELT NOTHG FOR THE GIRL I HAD BEEN WH."SENOR FROG'{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}LEARNG THERE WERE SOME GAY CLUBS A FEW TOWNS OVER, HE CID TO TAKE THE PLUNGE ONE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IT WAS LIKE STEPPG TO A SANCTUARY AMONG PEOPLE WHO FALLY FELT AS I DID AND WEREN'T GOG TO SULT ME FOR FEELG HOW I {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I END UP HAVG A NVERSATN FOR HOURS WH A UPLE, SIPPG JACK AND COKE, ABOUT HOW I ME TO KNOW I WAS GAY, THEIR G OUT STORI, AND HEARG OM THEM THAT I WAS GOG TO BE JT FE AND THAT THE SKY IS THE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}THEY TOLD ME ABOUT ALL OF THE EVENTS AND ACTIVI THAT THE LGBT MUNY DO NEAR ME—THAT WAS ONE OF THE BT PARTS OF THE NIGHT, KNOWG THAT I'M NOT ON MY OWN AS A GAY MAN. {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}MEMAHSELFNI ADMS HE IALLY FELT UNFORTABLE, BUT SOON REALIZED "THIS WAS A PLACE WHERE I ULD BE MYSELF [AND] I OPENED UP AND EMBRACED MY SEXUAL INTY. AND I FELT EE AND HONT AGA!"{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}AFTER GETTG BEAR HUGS AND KISS OM HIS NEW IENDS, HE WENT HOME "FEELG ON TOP OF THE WORLD."{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}THE RPONS TO HIS STORY WERE EQUALLY TOUCHG, WH SOME G OM OTHER GAY {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}"SO MANY OF HAVE LIVED THAT STORY BUT 'S STILL NICE TO HEAR ONCE AGA," WROTE ONE REDDOR. "MY RELLECTNS OF MY FIRST TIME AT THE GAY BARS REMA VIVID TO THIS DAY THO WAS SO LONG AGO. THE FEELG OF LIBERATN, OF SPREADG WGS IS ALMOST PALPABLE."{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}"GAY BARS ARE LIKE AN EMBASSY FOR GAYS ANYWHERE," ADD ANOTHER. "WHEREVER YOU ARE, THE GAY BAR WILL BE YOU SAFE ZONE."GAY WOMEN HAVG DRKS A BAR BIRMGHAM. LBIAN UPL TALKG AND HAVG DRKS LEANG AGAST BAR. YOUNG, STYLISH {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}"CONGRATS TO G OUT, AND BEG YOURSELF," RPOND A FELLOW EX-MORMON. "LIKE YOU, I ULDN'T ACCEPT MY SEXUAL ORIENTATN UNTIL I LEFT THE CHURCH, AND AFTER G OUT TO MYSELF AND OTHERS, THGS STARTED TO IMPROVE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IT'S GOG ON FIVE YEARS NOW, AND I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DO A LOT MY 30S THAT I NEVER ULD ALLOW MYSELF TO DO OR BE MY 20S. I REMEMBER MY FIRST PRI AND HOW EMOTNAL WAS FOR ME. IT WAS JT AFTER MARRIAGE EQUALY WAS VOTED ON WASHGTON, AND SEATTLE WAS JT SO FILLED WH {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}JT AS YOU ARE FDG, IS GREAT TO FD SPAC THAT YOU N FEEL FORTABLE AND FULLY BE YOURSELF AT. NOW I'M HAPPILY MARRIED TO MY HBAND, AND AMAZED TO SEE HOW MUCH SUPPORT I HAD ALONG THE WAY OM OTHERS WHO ED TO BE STNCHLY LDS."{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;CLEAR:BOTH;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;MARG:0 TO;WIDTH:90%;M-WIDTH:288PX;MAX-WIDTH:1440PX;M-HEIGHT:194PX;}LATT NEWS

Christopher Gregory for The New York TimPl RudnickAuthor and playwrightWhen I was a teenage apprentice summer stock, I went to my first gay bar suburban Connecticut.

Matthew Eisman/Getty ImagAndrew SolomonAuthor, “The Noonday Demon, ” “Far & Away”There were two gay bars the neighborhood where I grew up. But ntrary to so many narrativ of relief at fdg a gay ntext, my ial experience was primarily of anxiety, bee to be where the least acceptable aspect of myself was the explic topic ma me feel more naked than the go-go boys. Ease and digny, however, had seemed patible wh my gayns until my sweaty June bar vis set me on a new path, one that much later led me to marryg my hband, havg our children, and beg an activist for L.

It was about gay empowerment, was about not gettg msed wh and was about the importance of addrsg an existential crisis head on. There, so we would go, and this time was me and my six iends — tryg to play ol as much as we Counts/Getty ImagJon Rob BazPlaywright and producerIt was the Roosterfish, a dgy ntil gay bar Venice Beach Los Angel.

DO YOU WANNA FUNK WH ME?: A BEGNER’S GUI TO GAY NIGHTCLUBS

Provcetown was a gay statn, a mec where gay people at that time uld feel fortable and celebratory.

MY FIRST GAY BAR

It was particularly attractive bee the gay society the early ’60s was much more unrground the big ci.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* MY FIRST EXPERIENCE AT A GAY BAR

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href="/news-polics/news/a46007/gay-celebri-first-gay-bar/" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Breadcmbs" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Gee Takei, Perez Hilton, Michael Mto and More Open Up About Their First Gay Bar Experience" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" class="e9l0kn00 css-10asp0m e1c1bym14"><span emProp="name">Gee Takei, Perez Hilton, Michael Mto and More Open Up About Their First Gay Bar Experience</span></a><meta emProp="posn" ntent="3" /></li></ol></nav><style data-emotn="css g4r5va">{font-fay:Glanz,Glanz-fallback,Tim,Serif;font-weight:normal;grid-lumn:1/-1;marg-bottom:0.9375rem;marg-top:0.9375rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:2rem;le-height:1.25;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:2.625rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:3.125rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{font-size:3.37499rem;le-height:1.1;}}</style><h1 class="css-g4r5va exadjwu10"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span>Gee Takei, Perez Hilton, Michael Mto and More Open Up About Their First Gay Bar Experience<span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h1><style data-emotn="css 2qf7xf">{lor:#515150;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;font-weight:normal;marg-bottom:0.625rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.0625rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.3125rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:1.3125rem;le-height:1.3;}} a{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:#FF3A30;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:#000000;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;} a:hover{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><div class="css-2qf7xf exadjwu8"><p>"For the first time ever, I felt ee."</p></div><style data-emotn="css 18k4ks7">{lor:#161616;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;letter-spacg:0.02rem;marg-bottom:0.625rem;paddg-right:0.3125rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.4;}}@media(m-width: 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data-emotn="css 285vyd">{le-height:1;}@media(max-width: 73.75rem){{paddg-left:0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{paddg-left:0;}}</style><figptn class="css-285vyd enfs9c50"><style data-emotn="css 1mcfn5x">{lor:#595959;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;paddg-right:0.3125rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70028rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70028rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.3;}}</style><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">Bryan R. Smh</span><style data-emotn="css 1vpjmnm">{lor:#595959;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;paddg:0 0.3rem;paddg-right:0.3125rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70028rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70028rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.3;}}</style><span class="css-1vpjmnm e6iqd0">//</span><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd1">Getty Imag</span></figptn></div></div><style data-emotn="css woto36">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;posn:relative;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{paddg-left:3.5rem;paddg-right:3.5rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem) and (max-width: 61.25rem){{max-width:45.25rem;marg-left:to;marg-right:to;}}@media(m-width: 61.25rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem) and (max-width: 100rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;}{clear:both;ntent:" ";display:block;font-size:0.7rem;le-height:1.5rem;height:0rem;visibily:hidn;}</style><div class="article-body-ntent article-body standard-body-ntent css-woto36 ewisyje7"><style data-emotn="css aeyldl">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;}</style><p data-no-id="0" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">When hate vas a space known for tolerance, figurg out how to react n be the harst part of the aftermath. The natnal nversatn about the Orlando massacre has been foced on gun ntrol and terrorism, and rightfully so, but there's an aspect to the discsn beg avoid by the media: the impact gay bars have on the LGBTQ muny.</p><p data-no-id="2" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Every queer person remembers their first gay bar. Good or bad, 's always more than jt a bar experience. When you spend your life beg a sexual mory, the gay bar is often the only outlet available to shape a sense of inty, an unrstandg, and a muny.</p><div supprsHydratnWarng data-no-id="4" data-embed="pullquote" class="embed css-0 e9hzx6g0"><style data-emotn="css 1eiql25">{text-align:center;marg:0rem;paddg-top:0.9375rem;paddg-bottom:0.9375rem;}</style><blockquote class="css-1eiql25 e1pe3zr91"><style data-emotn="css ow0dpz">{borr:0.3125rem solid #FF3A30;borr-radi:100%;ntent:'';display:block;height:2.1875rem;left:50%;marg:-0.99rem to 0 -1.33rem;posn:absolute;width:2.1875rem;}</style><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-ow0dpz eagam8p0"></span><style data-emotn="css la9czl">{font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:1.625rem;le-height:1.2;marg:0rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.75rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:2.375rem;le-height:1.2;}} b, strong{font-fay:her;font-weight:bold;} em, i{font-fay:her;font-style:alic;}{ntent:'"';display:block;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:3.4375rem;le-height:0.72;font-style:alic;paddg:0.3125rem 0.875rem 0 0;}</style><blockquote class="css-la9czl e1pe3zr90">The gay bar is often the only outlet available to shape a sense of inty, an unrstandg, and a muny.</blockquote><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></blockquote></div><p data-no-id="6" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I first found my gay bar, my muny, my refuge at Attu Bar St. Louis, Missouri 1998. I n't remember if was an all-ag night, but somehow I got even though I was unr 21. I remember lookg around at the leral rabow of people—black, whe, male, female, young, old, skny, fat—and feelg a sense of lm. It felt like I was holdg on to this weird anxiety that I uldn't unrstand, and then all of a sudn clicked, and the anxiety was gone, and fally I uld stop hidg my Madonna CDs Led Zeppel CD s. </p><p data-no-id="8" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I asked notable LGBTQ artists, wrers, actors, and edians about their first gay bar experience and the impact had on their liv. Sometim the story is good, sometim is bad, but one thg is for sure: everyone's first gay bar experience is a story. And everyone has one. In sharg their stori, they are takg a stance agast hate, and honorg every victim of vlence based on hate. </p><style data-emotn="css 18pb4rg">{borr:0;borr-bottom:th solid black;marg:1.875rem 0;clear:both;}</style><hr data-no-id="10" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><style data-emotn="css 1736von">{--data-embed-display:flex;-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;clear:both;display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;marg-bottom:0.9375rem;marg-left:to;marg-right:to;width:100%;}@media(m-width: 20rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 30rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 75rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}} a span{right:1rem;} img{width:to;height:85vh;} a{display:-webk-le-box;display:-webk-le-flex;display:-ms-le-flexbox;display:le-flex;posn:var(--posn, relative);} img:not(.ewcw41w1){display:block;width:100%;height:to;-webk-align-self:flex-start;-ms-flex-em-align:flex-start;align-self:flex-start;}</style><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" data-no-id="12" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><style data-emotn="css uwraif">{width:100%;display:-webk-le-box;display:-webk-le-flex;display:-ms-le-flexbox;display:le-flex;-webk-flex-directn:lumn;-ms-flex-directn:lumn;flex-directn:lumn;marg-left:to;marg-right:to;-webk-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webk-jtify-ntent:center;jtify-ntent:center;}</style><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><div class="css-p7qblm ewcw41w0"><img alt="Aud equipment, Microphone, Electronic vice, Drs shirt, Ch, Forehead, Technology, Collar, Public speakg, Su, " tle="Aud equipment, Microphone, Electronic vice, Drs shirt, Ch, Forehead, Technology, Collar, Public speakg, Su, " loadg="lazy" width="1000" height="667" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><a target="_blank" rel="noopener" href="//" class="ptert css-1i6sckr e1c1bym14"><img data-dynamic-svg src="/_assets/sign-tokens/e/static/ins/social/" loadg="lazy" alt="ptert in" height="to" width="to" class="css-1l3i1cl ewcw41w1" /></a></div><style data-emotn="css swqnqv">@media(m-width: 20rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 30rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 75rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}</style><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><style data-emotn="css 1am3yn9">{paddg-left:0rem;le-height:1;}</style><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd1">Getty Imag</span></figptn></div></div></div><style data-emotn="css qplj0i">{font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;font-weight:normal;marg-bottom:0.625rem;marg-top:0.625rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:2.125rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:2.25rem;le-height:1.3;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:2.5rem;le-height:1.1;}} b, strong{font-fay:her;font-weight:bold;} em, i{font-fay:her;font-style:alic;}</style><h2 data-no-id="14" class="article-sub-tle css-qplj0i et3p2gv0">Gee Takei</h2><p data-no-id="16" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I was a ltle apprehensive about gog down an alley to a door wh a red light over . But I walked and was immediately enwrapped by the warm scent of beer. There were guys playg pool and others standg around. There were guys stg at the bar, some stg timately close together. The bartenr was a good lookg, iendly guy. My tensn disappeared and I loosened. My guard eased, and I sat at the bar and started a nversatn wh a guy. It felt liberatg. For the first time ever, I felt ee.</p><hr data-no-id="18" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" data-no-id="20" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><div class="css-p7qblm ewcw41w0"><img alt="Nose, Lip, Hairstyle, Collar, Eyebrow, Jacket, Style, Eyelash, Iris, Black hair, " tle="Nose, Lip, Hairstyle, Collar, Eyebrow, Jacket, Style, Eyelash, Iris, Black hair, " loadg="lazy" width="1000" height="667" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><a target="_blank" rel="noopener" href="//" class="ptert css-1i6sckr e1c1bym14"><img data-dynamic-svg src="/_assets/sign-tokens/e/static/ins/social/" loadg="lazy" alt="ptert in" height="to" width="to" class="css-1l3i1cl ewcw41w1" /></a></div><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">Smallz & Raskd</span><span class="css-1vpjmnm e6iqd0">//</span><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd1">Getty Imag</span></figptn></div></div></div><h2 data-no-id="22" class="article-sub-tle css-qplj0i et3p2gv0">Cameron Esposo</h2><p data-no-id="24" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I was 19 and went to an 18+ gay club outsi Nashville wh my olr sister. She lived there at the time and we went wh an olr out iend of hers. I didn't yet realize I was gay–and she didn't know yet I was eher–but the subtle msagg that was okay to be gay and that gay spac uld be fun and welg mattered so much to me that when I did eventually beg datg women, she was the first person I told.</p><hr data-no-id="26" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" data-no-id="28" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><div class="css-p7qblm ewcw41w0"><img alt="Clothg, Cheek, Collar, Sleeve, Ch, Forehead, Eyebrow, Happy, Facial exprsn, Jaw, " tle="Clothg, Cheek, Collar, Sleeve, Ch, Forehead, Eyebrow, Happy, Facial exprsn, Jaw, " loadg="lazy" width="1000" height="667" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><a target="_blank" rel="noopener" href="//" class="ptert css-1i6sckr e1c1bym14"><img data-dynamic-svg src="/_assets/sign-tokens/e/static/ins/social/" loadg="lazy" alt="ptert in" height="to" width="to" class="css-1l3i1cl ewcw41w1" /></a></div><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">Frazer Harrison</span><span class="css-1vpjmnm e6iqd0">//</span><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd1">Getty Imag</span></figptn></div></div></div><h2 data-no-id="30" class="article-sub-tle css-qplj0i et3p2gv0">Bryan Safi</h2><p data-no-id="32" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><span id="docs-ternal-guid-c22fff0c-6e7f-83f1-55ee-a01970012fc2" data-redactor-tag="span" data-verified="redactor"></span></p><p data-no-id="34" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">The first gay bar I went to was the Wt Village, and I went alone. I mt have walked past a dozen tim before I got the urage to go si. The thg I remember most clearly is a group of guys playg pool and talkg about Kate Burton's performance <em data-redactor-tag="em" data-verified="redactor">Hedda Gabler</em>. It was Heaven.</p><hr data-no-id="36" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" data-no-id="38" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><div class="css-p7qblm ewcw41w0"><img alt="Standg, People nature, Space, Denim, Flash photography, Tnk, Abdomen, Belt, Talent show, Astronomil object, " tle="Standg, People nature, Space, Denim, Flash photography, Tnk, Abdomen, Belt, Talent show, Astronomil object, " loadg="lazy" width="1000" height="661" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><a target="_blank" rel="noopener" href="//" class="ptert css-1i6sckr e1c1bym14"><img data-dynamic-svg src="/_assets/sign-tokens/e/static/ins/social/" loadg="lazy" alt="ptert in" height="to" width="to" class="css-1l3i1cl ewcw41w1" /></a></div><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">Mark Metlfe</span><span class="css-1vpjmnm e6iqd0">//</span><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd1">Getty Imag</span></figptn></div></div></div><h2 data-no-id="40" class="article-sub-tle css-qplj0i et3p2gv0">Jake Shears</h2><p data-no-id="42" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I was 18 and had an ID that I found om some 30 year old du... I realized if I drsed drag,  the bouncer would be none the wiser. So every Friday I would drs drag and go by myself to a bar lled 21st Century Fox Seattle. I lled myself Cubic Zirnia and got up every week and did a Jam Bond number.</p><hr data-no-id="44" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" data-no-id="46" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><div class="css-p7qblm ewcw41w0"><img alt="Clothg, Eyewear, Glass, Visn re, Lip, Cheek, Sleeve, Facial hair, Ch, Forehead, " tle="Clothg, Eyewear, Glass, Visn re, Lip, Cheek, Sleeve, Facial hair, Ch, Forehead, " loadg="lazy" width="1000" height="667" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><a target="_blank" rel="noopener" href="//" class="ptert css-1i6sckr e1c1bym14"><img data-dynamic-svg src="/_assets/sign-tokens/e/static/ins/social/" loadg="lazy" alt="ptert in" height="to" width="to" class="css-1l3i1cl ewcw41w1" /></a></div><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">JB Lacroix</span><span class="css-1vpjmnm e6iqd0">//</span><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd1">Getty Imag</span></figptn></div></div></div><h2 data-no-id="48" class="article-sub-tle css-qplj0i et3p2gv0">Perez Hilton</h2><p data-no-id="50" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><span id="docs-ternal-guid-c22fff0c-6e7f-d760-dc2e-f216f12ed513" data-redactor-tag="span" data-verified="redactor"></span></p><p data-no-id="52" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Before I ever set foot a gay club or bar, I went to the now funct the Big Cup ffee shop NYC's Chelsea neighborhood. I not only felt safe there but I also felt so accepted and wele. Thank you to all of the gay bs owners who are brave enough to create the hom for , for creatg jobs for our own and for creatg muny.</p><hr data-no-id="54" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" data-no-id="56" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><div class="css-p7qblm ewcw41w0"><img alt="Hairstyle, Jewellery, Forehead, Eyebrow, Eyelash, Logo, Electric blue, Azure, Necklace, Black hair, " tle="Hairstyle, Jewellery, Forehead, Eyebrow, Eyelash, Logo, Electric blue, Azure, Necklace, Black hair, " loadg="lazy" width="1000" height="667" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><a target="_blank" rel="noopener" href="//" class="ptert css-1i6sckr e1c1bym14"><img data-dynamic-svg src="/_assets/sign-tokens/e/static/ins/social/" loadg="lazy" alt="ptert in" height="to" width="to" class="css-1l3i1cl ewcw41w1" /></a></div><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">David Livgston</span><span class="css-1vpjmnm e6iqd0">//</span><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd1">Getty Imag</span></figptn></div></div></div><h2 data-no-id="58" class="article-sub-tle css-qplj0i et3p2gv0">Heather Matarazzo</h2><p data-no-id="60" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><span id="docs-ternal-guid-c22fff0c-6e80-3b1b-49bb-4e5c61709e86" data-redactor-tag="span" data-verified="redactor"></span></p><p data-no-id="62" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">My first gay bar was the Meow Mix on the Lower East Si New York Cy. It was the first time my life that I was surround by other lbians. The feelg of fally beg able to feel safe and at home wh others who were like me was credible. I never knew what was to be a part of a muny before then, and for the first time I didn't feel alone. I felt ee, exalted, and full of ep joy.</p><hr data-no-id="64" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" data-no-id="66" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><div class="css-p7qblm ewcw41w0"><img alt="Hat, Stage, Sun hat, One-piece garment, Sger, Costume sign, Boot, Talent show, " tle="Hat, Stage, Sun hat, One-piece garment, Sger, Costume sign, Boot, Talent show, " loadg="lazy" width="1000" height="667" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><a target="_blank" rel="noopener" href="//" class="ptert css-1i6sckr e1c1bym14"><img data-dynamic-svg src="/_assets/sign-tokens/e/static/ins/social/" loadg="lazy" alt="ptert in" height="to" width="to" class="css-1l3i1cl ewcw41w1" /></a></div><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">Santiago Felipe</span><span class="css-1vpjmnm e6iqd0">//</span><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd1">Getty Imag</span></figptn></div></div></div><h2 data-no-id="68" class="article-sub-tle css-qplj0i et3p2gv0">Bob the Drag Queen</h2><p data-no-id="70" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><span id="docs-ternal-guid-c22fff0c-6e80-836f-e5ea-8f2ec0503704" data-redactor-tag="span" data-verified="redactor"></span></p><p data-no-id="72" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">The first time I went to a gay bar was to the Mad Hatter Columb, Geia, and the drag queen ed to work at the Applebee's. I haven't stopped dancg sce.</p><hr data-no-id="74" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" data-no-id="76" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><div class="css-p7qblm ewcw41w0"><img alt="Clothg, Eyewear, Glass, Visn re, Fger, Lip, Cheek, Eye, Drs shirt, Collar, " tle="Clothg, Eyewear, Glass, Visn re, Fger, Lip, Cheek, Eye, Drs shirt, Collar, " loadg="lazy" width="1000" height="667" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><a target="_blank" rel="noopener" href="//" class="ptert css-1i6sckr e1c1bym14"><img data-dynamic-svg src="/_assets/sign-tokens/e/static/ins/social/" loadg="lazy" alt="ptert in" height="to" width="to" class="css-1l3i1cl ewcw41w1" /></a></div><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">Jean Cl Dhien</span><span class="css-1vpjmnm e6iqd0">//</span><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd1">Getty Imag</span></figptn></div></div></div><h2 data-no-id="78" class="article-sub-tle css-qplj0i et3p2gv0">Frank DeCaro</h2><p data-no-id="80" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><span id="docs-ternal-guid-c22fff0c-6e80-ea1d-9915-84df903bef62" data-redactor-tag="span" data-verified="redactor"></span></p><p data-no-id="82" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">My llege iends at Northwtern and I were out of the closet big time, which, let me tell you, was a lot ls mon on mp 1980 than is now. As hman that year, armed wh our fake ID's, we would go every week to a gay bar Chigo lled the Bistro. It was a safe space, somewhere where we uld be our outrageo selv and dance the night away. We never went home wh anyone else. We were too young, too strange, too New Wave. We learned to be fortable our own sk there, dancg to Sylvter, Dive, and Lime. Thirty-six years later, I'm still close to all six members of that diverse group. I'll never like anyone better than I like those guys and never like a bar better than I did that place.</p><hr data-no-id="84" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" data-no-id="86" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><div class="css-p7qblm ewcw41w0"><img alt="Aud equipment, Microphone, Electronic vice, Textile, Denim, Technology, Performg arts, Collar, Mic artist, Sgg, " tle="Aud equipment, Microphone, Electronic vice, Textile, Denim, Technology, Performg arts, Collar, Mic artist, Sgg, " loadg="lazy" width="1000" height="667" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><a target="_blank" rel="noopener" href="//" class="ptert css-1i6sckr e1c1bym14"><img data-dynamic-svg src="/_assets/sign-tokens/e/static/ins/social/" loadg="lazy" alt="ptert in" height="to" width="to" class="css-1l3i1cl ewcw41w1" /></a></div><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">NBC</span><span class="css-1vpjmnm e6iqd0">//</span><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd1">Getty Imag</span></figptn></div></div></div><h2 data-no-id="88" class="article-sub-tle css-qplj0i et3p2gv0">Rhea Butcher</h2><p data-no-id="90" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><span id="docs-ternal-guid-c22fff0c-6e81-69eb-b170-490774ea3765" data-redactor-tag="span" data-verified="redactor"></span></p><p data-no-id="92" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">The first gay bar I ever went to was my hometown of Akron, Oh. I was both terrified and exhilarated. I remember lookg and beg looked at, and for the first time was by people wh whom I felt a strong muny and, retrospect, a faial nnectn.</p><hr data-no-id="94" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" data-no-id="96" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><div class="css-p7qblm ewcw41w0"><img alt="Ear, Cheek, Ch, Forehead, Eyebrow, Facial exprsn, Jaw, Logo, Temple, Tooth, " tle="Ear, Cheek, Ch, Forehead, Eyebrow, Facial exprsn, Jaw, Logo, Temple, Tooth, " loadg="lazy" width="1000" height="667" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><a target="_blank" rel="noopener" href="//" class="ptert css-1i6sckr e1c1bym14"><img data-dynamic-svg src="/_assets/sign-tokens/e/static/ins/social/" loadg="lazy" alt="ptert in" height="to" width="to" class="css-1l3i1cl ewcw41w1" /></a></div><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">Mike Wdle</span><span class="css-1vpjmnm e6iqd0">//</span><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd1">Getty Imag</span></figptn></div></div></div><h2 data-no-id="98" class="article-sub-tle css-qplj0i et3p2gv0">Drew Droege</h2><p data-no-id="100" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">It was 1996. I was llege at Wake Fort Universy Wston Salem, North Carola, directg a productn of <em data-redactor-tag="em" data-verified="redactor">Steel Magnolias</em> and wearg lots of large olive turtlenecks wh pleated khaki shorts. I was hostg weekly screengs of <em data-redactor-tag="em" data-verified="redactor">Female Trouble</em> to shock and te my iends. But I really didn't que know what I was dog. Somehow I heard about this bar far off of Silas Creek Parkway. Three of my iends and I ventured down a long untry road for about half an hour—we were hontly terrified. We land at a strip mall, wh a dollar store and a gold exchange and a small waterg hole wh a rabow flag the wdow lled the Odyssey. We were not 21. We were tremblg. We were weled si. Sweet creepy smoke engulfed our nostrils, neon danced across our fac, people of all shap and ag were celebratg together, and we all were ee. To everyone around , nothg special was happeng. To the four of om Wake Fort, everythg special was happeng.</p><hr data-no-id="102" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" data-no-id="104" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><div class="css-p7qblm ewcw41w0"><img alt="Ear, Cheek, Hairstyle, Forehead, Eyebrow, Collar, Facial exprsn, Style, Jaw, Eyelash, " tle="Ear, Cheek, Hairstyle, Forehead, Eyebrow, Collar, Facial exprsn, Style, Jaw, Eyelash, " loadg="lazy" width="1000" height="667" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><a target="_blank" rel="noopener" href="//" class="ptert css-1i6sckr e1c1bym14"><img data-dynamic-svg src="/_assets/sign-tokens/e/static/ins/social/" loadg="lazy" alt="ptert in" height="to" width="to" class="css-1l3i1cl ewcw41w1" /></a></div><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">Andrew Toth</span><span class="css-1vpjmnm e6iqd0">//</span><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd1">Getty Imag</span></figptn></div></div></div><h2 data-no-id="106" class="article-sub-tle css-qplj0i et3p2gv0">Omar Sharif, Jr.</h2><p data-no-id="108" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">The first time I went to a gay bar was Montreal. It was a club lled Uny. Wow, that name has taken new signifince this week. Comg om Egypt, and growg up to scen of gay-equented tablishments beg vlently raid by thori, I was terrified. Wh moments of arrivg at Uny, however, I found muny, love and acceptance. I felt safe to fally be myself.</p><hr data-no-id="110" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" data-no-id="112" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><div class="css-p7qblm ewcw41w0"><img alt="Eyewear, Glass, Arm, Aud equipment, Visn re, Fger, Hand, Elbow, Wrist, Electronic vice, " tle="Eyewear, Glass, Arm, Aud equipment, Visn re, Fger, Hand, Elbow, Wrist, Electronic vice, " loadg="lazy" width="1000" height="667" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><a target="_blank" rel="noopener" href="//" class="ptert css-1i6sckr e1c1bym14"><img data-dynamic-svg src="/_assets/sign-tokens/e/static/ins/social/" loadg="lazy" alt="ptert in" height="to" width="to" class="css-1l3i1cl ewcw41w1" /></a></div><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">Mike Pont</span><span class="css-1vpjmnm e6iqd0">//</span><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd1">Getty Imag</span></figptn></div></div></div><h2 data-no-id="114" class="article-sub-tle css-qplj0i et3p2gv0">Elt Glazer</h2><p data-no-id="116" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I'd say that gog to my first gay bar was jarrg. I didn't really get the appeal. There's almost somethg too "ol" when a gay guy says he's "not to the scene," which I've admtedly ed as for "I'm too smart to re about ftg ." But the wake of Orlando, I'm remd that a gay bar is not jt a haven. Even though I disagree wh a lot of the self-imposed l gay men put upon ourselv, we are, at our re, still a muny. An credibly strong, active, and uned ont that broke down barriers at Stonewall, fought tooth and nail agast a disease ignored by our ernment, and that has shaped global culture such that people of all ag, genrs, and backgrounds are creasgly able to live their liv openly and hontly. And now, oddly enough, we may be the very people who brg about gun reform so that weapons of war no longer end up the hands of manial, simple-md, self-important wards.</p><hr data-no-id="118" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" data-no-id="120" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><div class="css-p7qblm ewcw41w0"><img alt="Clothg, Eyewear, Glass, Ear, Visn re, Cheek, Fger, Collar, Forehead, Drs shirt, " tle="Clothg, Eyewear, Glass, Ear, Visn re, Cheek, Fger, Collar, Forehead, Drs shirt, " loadg="lazy" width="1000" height="667" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><a target="_blank" rel="noopener" href="//" class="ptert css-1i6sckr e1c1bym14"><img data-dynamic-svg src="/_assets/sign-tokens/e/static/ins/social/" loadg="lazy" alt="ptert in" height="to" width="to" class="css-1l3i1cl ewcw41w1" /></a></div><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">Jean Cl Dhien</span><span class="css-1vpjmnm e6iqd0">//</span><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd1">Getty Imag</span></figptn></div></div></div><h2 data-no-id="122" class="article-sub-tle css-qplj0i et3p2gv0">Michael Mto</h2><p data-no-id="124" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><span id="docs-ternal-guid-c22fff0c-6e85-b46d-52-8676b33be425" data-redactor-tag="span" data-verified="redactor"></span></p><p data-no-id="126" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">In the 1970s, I went wh a iend to the Barefoot Boy, a glzy gay dance club on East 39th Street. I was ially nervo, but quickly beme thrilled to fd there was a world of sophistited people wh good dance mov and great sens of humor. I'd found my fay.</p><hr data-no-id="128" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" data-no-id="130" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><div class="css-p7qblm ewcw41w0"><img alt="Clothg, Eyewear, Glass, Visn re, Hat, Shoulr, Sunglass, Shirt, Jot, T-shirt, " tle="Clothg, Eyewear, Glass, Visn re, Hat, Shoulr, Sunglass, Shirt, Jot, T-shirt, " loadg="lazy" width="1000" height="667" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><a target="_blank" rel="noopener" href="//" class="ptert css-1i6sckr e1c1bym14"><img data-dynamic-svg src="/_assets/sign-tokens/e/static/ins/social/" loadg="lazy" alt="ptert in" height="to" width="to" class="css-1l3i1cl ewcw41w1" /></a></div><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">Geie Wileman</span><span class="css-1vpjmnm e6iqd0">//</span><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd1">Getty Imag</span></figptn></div></div></div><h2 data-no-id="132" class="article-sub-tle css-qplj0i et3p2gv0">Stephon Mendoza</h2><p data-no-id="134" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><span id="docs-ternal-guid-c22fff0c-6e86-739f-da0e-4911f4d01967" data-redactor-tag="span" data-verified="redactor"></span></p><p data-no-id="136" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">On Halloween of 2013, I was 17 years old wh a fake ID livg New York Cy. After beg nied entrance at a straight club, I immediately took a b wh one of my gay iends and head to XL nightclub. Once I arrived I was greeted by a six-foot-tall drag queen, and I knew my ffle neckpiece and leather legggs would f right . Everyone weled me wh open arms, and after dancg all night long I knew this was a place filled wh acceptance, love, and posive energy.</p><hr data-no-id="138" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" data-no-id="140" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><div class="css-p7qblm ewcw41w0"><img alt="Coat, Collar, Su, Facial hair, Outerwear, Style, Jaw, Logo, Blazer, Premiere, " tle="Coat, Collar, Su, Facial hair, Outerwear, Style, Jaw, Logo, Blazer, Premiere, " loadg="lazy" width="1000" height="667" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><a target="_blank" rel="noopener" href="//" class="ptert css-1i6sckr e1c1bym14"><img data-dynamic-svg src="/_assets/sign-tokens/e/static/ins/social/" loadg="lazy" alt="ptert in" height="to" width="to" class="css-1l3i1cl ewcw41w1" /></a></div><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">Mike Pont</span><span class="css-1vpjmnm e6iqd0">//</span><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd1">Getty Imag</span></figptn></div></div></div><h2 data-no-id="142" class="article-sub-tle css-qplj0i et3p2gv0">Jeffery Self</h2><p data-no-id="144" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I n't entirely rell my first gay bar experience as most likely cid wh my first double vodka tonic experience. I do remember, however, that was wh a fake ID New York Cy when I was 20. I remember feelg safe and ee and extremely overwhelmed by the hot people. Today, when I vis a new cy, I try to go to the lol gay bar. It's a betiful way to immediately feel at home. Even if you know no one there and even if you're all om different walks of life or ag or terts: there's somethg tribal. And 's betiful. Go to your neart gay bar, requt "I Wanna Dance Wh Somebody," and jt LIVE.</p><hr data-no-id="146" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" data-no-id="148" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><div class="css-p7qblm ewcw41w0"><img alt="Clothg, Ear, Lip, Cheek, Collar, Ch, Forehead, Eyebrow, Outerwear, Tooth, " tle="Clothg, Ear, Lip, Cheek, Collar, Ch, Forehead, Eyebrow, Outerwear, Tooth, " loadg="lazy" width="1000" height="667" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><a target="_blank" rel="noopener" href="//" class="ptert css-1i6sckr e1c1bym14"><img data-dynamic-svg src="/_assets/sign-tokens/e/static/ins/social/" loadg="lazy" alt="ptert in" height="to" width="to" class="css-1l3i1cl ewcw41w1" /></a></div><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">Beck Starr</span><span class="css-1vpjmnm e6iqd0">//</span><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd1">Getty Imag</span></figptn></div></div></div><h2 data-no-id="150" class="article-sub-tle css-qplj0i et3p2gv0">Christopher Rice</h2><p data-no-id="152" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><span id="docs-ternal-guid-c22fff0c-6e87-7920-ee0d-9bb4e780d5d1" data-redactor-tag="span" data-verified="redactor"></span></p><p data-no-id="154" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">In 1996, if you wanted to be gay, you went to a bar. Perd. There was really nowhere else to go to feel fortable. In most Amerin ci, if you went on a date wh another man among the general public, you might do somethg to give yourself away, turng yourself to a target for eher ridicule or vlence. When I me out, I was thirstg for my own versn of the prom I'd never had, the romantic movie dat I'd never been on, and the potential for all of those thgs was at the gay bar. It was lerally the only place where I uld feel fortable exprsg sir I had left pent up my entire life. But we were nstantly beg threatened. Our space was always beg vad. Sometim they would be dnk closet s that would seem like they'd wanred by mistake, and at first, there would be somethg sexy about them. Like maybe they were there to be nverted. Or to fall love. But a lot of tim the guys would make threats. A iend of me who I knew om lol theatre left the bar one night wh a betiful guy who'd been htg on him for a while. As soon as they reached a dark rner, a gang of the guy's iends set upon him and beat him so badly his jaw was wired shut for weeks and he had to eat through a straw. In ci like New Orleans and Atlanta, everyone thought the gay neighborhoods were safe, but the tth was, the ltle fortable pockets were only a ten-mute drive om some hotbed of relig fundamentalism, and didn't take any effort at all for bigots to brg their madns to our doorstep.</p><hr data-no-id="156" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" data-no-id="158" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><div class="css-p7qblm ewcw41w0"><img alt="Hair, Face, Nose, Mouth, Lip, Eye, Hairstyle, Ch, Forehead, Eyebrow, " tle="Hair, Face, Nose, Mouth, Lip, Eye, Hairstyle, Ch, Forehead, Eyebrow, " loadg="lazy" width="1000" height="667" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><a target="_blank" rel="noopener" href="//" class="ptert css-1i6sckr e1c1bym14"><img data-dynamic-svg src="/_assets/sign-tokens/e/static/ins/social/" loadg="lazy" alt="ptert in" height="to" width="to" class="css-1l3i1cl ewcw41w1" /></a></div><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">JB Lacroix</span><span class="css-1vpjmnm e6iqd0">//</span><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd1">Getty Imag</span></figptn></div></div></div><h2 data-no-id="160" class="article-sub-tle css-qplj0i et3p2gv0">Zackary Dcker</h2><p data-no-id="162" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><span id="docs-ternal-guid-c22fff0c-6e88-cc0a-f1a7-67b54aa204" data-redactor-tag="span" data-verified="redactor"></span></p><p data-no-id="164" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I spent the first of my adult years nightlife. I always felt like there was an unregulated and anythg-is-possible element there, which is why people are drawn to . I have seen vlence ept a club more than once and have also been a target of that vlence. Wherever unrtraed sire is exprsed, there also exists an impulse to stroy that eedom; one person's utopia is another's dystopia. Whout acceptg each other's difference, or our own for that matter, we lose our humany. LGBT uprisgs and activism have origated directly om nightlife—so many signifint moments our history have occurred bars and clubs. I hope that queer muni the future will not be relegated to bars and clubs, but will be everywhere. </p><hr data-no-id="166" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" data-no-id="168" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><div class="css-p7qblm ewcw41w0"><img alt="Clothg, Eyewear, Hair, Glass, Facial hair, Visn re, Lip, Cheek, Hairstyle, Sk, " tle="Clothg, Eyewear, Hair, Glass, Facial hair, Visn re, Lip, Cheek, Hairstyle, Sk, " loadg="lazy" width="1000" height="667" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><a target="_blank" rel="noopener" href="//" class="ptert css-1i6sckr e1c1bym14"><img data-dynamic-svg src="/_assets/sign-tokens/e/static/ins/social/" loadg="lazy" alt="ptert in" height="to" width="to" class="css-1l3i1cl ewcw41w1" /></a></div><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">Kim Newmoney</span></figptn></div></div></div><h2 data-no-id="170" class="article-sub-tle css-qplj0i et3p2gv0">Gabe Liedman</h2><p data-no-id="172" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Every time I go out to a gay bar wh iends, we n to more iends. Always. Walk the door as a group of three, and you're eight no time. It's where we meet each other, 's where we talk about work. For a natural trovert like me, gay bars are an exercise beg loved and known, where I have nversatns whout @-symbols. It's good to be physilly prent sometim and accepted that way.  </p><hr data-no-id="174" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" data-no-id="176" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><div class="css-p7qblm ewcw41w0"><img alt="Eyewear, Aud equipment, Glass, Visn re, Fger, Microphone, Hairstyle, Eyebrow, Electronic vice, Hand, " tle="Eyewear, Aud equipment, Glass, Visn re, Fger, Microphone, Hairstyle, Eyebrow, Electronic vice, Hand, " loadg="lazy" width="1000" height="667" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><a target="_blank" rel="noopener" href="//" class="ptert css-1i6sckr e1c1bym14"><img data-dynamic-svg src="/_assets/sign-tokens/e/static/ins/social/" loadg="lazy" alt="ptert in" height="to" width="to" class="css-1l3i1cl ewcw41w1" /></a></div><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">Slaven Vlasic</span><span class="css-1vpjmnm e6iqd0">//</span><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd1">Getty Imag</span></figptn></div></div></div><h2 data-no-id="178" class="article-sub-tle css-qplj0i et3p2gv0">Judy Gold</h2><p data-no-id="180" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><span id="docs-ternal-guid-c22fff0c-6e8a-1634-6fb6-7ad3c991cef6" data-redactor-tag="span" data-verified="redactor"></span></p><p data-no-id="182" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Image hidg a secret about yourself for your entire life—a secret that, if revealed, uld st you your job, your home, your fay, your iends, and perhaps even your future. Image disverg your youth that your te inty is nsired shameful, disgtg, a mental illns, and illegal. You are terrified of beg "found out," so you pastakgly overdulge activi to prove to the outsi world that you're jt like them, that you're normal. You ph away your disgraceful feelgs like a leman ph his opponent at the 1st yard le. </p><p data-no-id="184" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Then image one day takg the biggt risk of your life by simply openg a door—a tangible door—and walkg to a place where you no longer have to hi, a place where sr and sr of people who had shared the same secret surround you. But this special place, the people had relquished their secret, even if  jt for a few hours, and they were okay. In fact, they were more than okay. They were happy, proud and fearls. There was no shame or self loathg—only love, acceptance, and the bt damn dance mic you had ever heard your life.</p><hr data-no-id="186" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" data-no-id="188" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><div class="css-p7qblm ewcw41w0"><img alt="Clothg, Arm, Fger, Drs shirt, Hairstyle, Collar, Sleeve, Coat, Ch, Forehead, " tle="Clothg, Arm, Fger, Drs shirt, Hairstyle, Collar, Sleeve, Coat, Ch, Forehead, " loadg="lazy" width="1000" height="667" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><a target="_blank" rel="noopener" href="//" class="ptert css-1i6sckr e1c1bym14"><img data-dynamic-svg src="/_assets/sign-tokens/e/static/ins/social/" loadg="lazy" alt="ptert in" height="to" width="to" class="css-1l3i1cl ewcw41w1" /></a></div><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">Bobby Quillard</span></figptn></div></div></div><h2 data-no-id="190" class="article-sub-tle css-qplj0i et3p2gv0">K Williamson</h2><p data-no-id="192" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><span id="docs-ternal-guid-c22fff0c-6e8b-029b-9fae-6a67f5e89989" data-redactor-tag="span" data-verified="redactor">I had my first kiss a gay bar New Orleans when I was 16. I had jt e out to my sister, and I went to vis her at llege. She brought me to the bar, cracked open a book the rner, and told me to go "mgle." It was pretty crowd; there weren't any seats so I leaned agast a trash n. My heart was beatg fast, and I uldn't make eye ntact wh anyone. Fally, this kd of nerdy guy wh glass me up to talk to me. He was town om Chile. We ma out while Natalie Imbglia's "Torn" played on the TV screen. I started to get sred he wanted to take thgs further—probably bee he told me he wanted to take thgs further—and I wasn't ready for that (gus I was the one that was "torn"). But part of me was grateful to have such a mundane problem. I remember beg terrified of hurtg his feelgs, but also feelg like for the first time my life that I was normal. I told him I had to go to the bathroom, grabbed my sister, and ran to the night. I go back to that trash n every time I vis New Orleans.</span></p><style data-emotn="css 2ok9l4">{marg-top:1.875rem;borr-top:th solid #595959;}</style><div data-jam-id="thor-b" class="css-2ok9l4 e13rjwo40"></div><style data-emotn="css ciejky">{clear:both;marg-top:1.25rem;}</style><div id="journey-le" class="css-ciejky e1cslvxz0"></div></div></div><div></div><style data-emotn="css 6b9rfj">{display:block;-webk-flex-basis:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem) - 1rem - 20.625rem) / 2);-ms-flex-preferred-size:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem) - 1rem - 20.625rem) / 2);flex-basis:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem) - 1rem - 20.625rem) / 2);-webk-box-flex:0;-webk-flex-grow:0;-ms-flex-posive:0;flex-grow:0;-webk-flex-shrk:0;-ms-flex-negative:0;flex-shrk:0;}@media(max-width: 61.25rem){{display:none;}}</style><div class="no-prt css-6b9rfj ewisyje1"><div><style data-emotn="css 1tuodqg">{width:330px;paddg-left:30px;}</style><div id="ad-article-rail-flt-wrapper" class="vertil-ad css-1tuodqg eqm02p30"><style data-emotn="css w0cuw4">{display:block;posn:-webk-sticky;posn:sticky;top:5rem;}@media(max-width: 61.25rem){{display:none;}}</style><div class="vertilAdSticky css-w0cuw4 eqm02p32"><style data-emotn="css 9fasmy">{m-height:523px;top:5rem;}@media(max-width: 61.25rem){{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webk-flex-directn:lumn;-ms-flex-directn:lumn;flex-directn:lumn;-webk-box-pack:jtify;-webk-jtify-ntent:space-between;jtify-ntent:space-between;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{m-height:138px;}}@media(max-width: 61.25rem){{ntent:"";display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;borr-bottom:th solid #E8E8E8;}}</style><div class="standard-article-vertil-ad css-9fasmy eqm02p31"><style data-emotn="css 14b96eg">{m-width:18.75rem;text-align:center;}</style><div id="gpt-ad-vertil-top" class="ad-ntaer css-14b96eg e1hka4w80"></div></div></div></div></div></div></div><div data-teractive="WatchNext-1" class="css-0 e10xr3vp6"><style data-emotn="css 1pqv15d">{marg-bottom:1.875rem;marg-top:1.875rem;paddg:0 0.938rem;}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{paddg:0 2.5rem;}}</style><div data-embed="watch-next" class="css-1pqv15d e10xr3vp5"><style data-emotn="css 604vx7">{text-align:center;marg:0 to;max-width:60rem;borr-top:0.125rem solid #15263D;}</style><div class="css-604vx7 e10xr3vp4"><style data-emotn="css 1sowyjy">{marg-bottom:1.25rem;}</style><div class="css-1sowyjy e10xr3vp3"><style data-emotn="css ju94x7">{marg:0rem;font-weight:normal;background-lor:#ffffff;lor:#000;borr:0.125rem solid #15263D;text-align:left;width:-webk-f-ntent;width:-moz-f-ntent;width:f-ntent;borr-radi:2rem;display:block;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:0.70028rem;le-height:1.2;letter-spacg:0.04rem;marg-top:-1rem;paddg:0.5rem 0.9375rem 0.25rem;text-transform:upperse;}</style><h6 class="css-ju94x7 e10xr3vp2"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><span class="css-0 e10xr3vp1">Watch Next</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h6><style data-emotn="css un61">{-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;font-weight:normal;-webk-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webk-jtify-ntent:center;jtify-ntent:center;marg:0rem;m-height:to;paddg-top:1rem;text-align:left;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.5rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.875rem;le-height:1.3;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:2.125rem;le-height:1.2;}}</style><h6 class="css-un61 e10xr3vp0"> </h6></div><style data-emotn="css b3y6x">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;--aspect-rat:56.25%;} {posn:absolute;marg:0rem;}{ntent:"";display:block;height:0rem;width:100%;}@media(max-width: 30rem){{paddg-bottom:lc((45% / 1.16) + 20px + 1.66em);}}@media(m-width: 30rem) and (max-width: 48rem){{paddg-bottom:lc((45% / 1.43) + 20px + 1.66em);}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem) and (max-width: 64rem){{paddg-bottom:lc((33% / 1.40) + 20px + 1.66em);}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{paddg-bottom:lc((25% / 1.36) + 20px + 1.66em);}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{paddg-bottom:lc((25% / 1.46) + 20px + 1.66em);}}</style><div class="__rp-ntaer css-b3y6x e6l0f0"><style data-emotn="css 1yu8e3d">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;width:100%;height:100%;} .__rp-ntaer{height:to;}</style><div data-embed="embed-vio" class="vio-player css-1yu8e3d e1ou1fny0"><style data-emotn="css 1uds6oo">{height:100%;width:100%;posn:relative;}</style><div class="css-1uds6oo e1f7ylgd6"><style data-emotn="css w2pm9t">{background-lor:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.4);borr:.1875rem solid whe;borr-radi:50%;lor:#fff;cursor:poter;height:3.75rem;left:50%;posn:absolute;-webk-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-moz-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-ms-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-webk-transn:all 0.4s;transn:all 0.4s;width:3.75rem;z-x:1;}.e1f7ylgd6:hover {background-lor:rgba(33, 150, 245, 0.8);lor:#ffffff;}@media(m-width: 20rem){{top:26%;}}@media(m-width: 30rem){{top:29.5%;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{top:32.5%;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{top:34.5%;height:5.625rem;width:5.625rem;borr:.28125rem solid whe;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{top:35%;}}@media(m-width: 75rem){{top:35.8%;}}</style><button aria-label="Play Vio" class="css-w2pm9t e1f7ylgd1"><style data-emotn="css 1lhf7lq">{fill:#ffffff;height:1.4rem;vertil-align:middle;width:1.45rem;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:2.3125rem;height:3rem;}}</style><svg xmlns=" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" style="fill: var(--primary, #000);" role="img" tle="Play" class="css-1lhf7lq e1f7ylgd2"><tle>play in .

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