Fdg Out Your Spoe Is Gay | Psychology Today

divorcing a gay spouse

Rourc for stunts and psychologists to ga a better unrstandg of issu that may affect the straight spoe when a wife or hband out as lbian, gay, bisexual or transgenr.

Contents:

CELEBRATG MY (GAY) DIVORCE

Celebratg My (Gay) DivorceMarriage equaly means divorce equaly—and I feel pri, as well as sadns, about my spl om my WhmanEdor’s Note: This article is part of a seri about the gay-rights movement and the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall Augt 25, 2013, I said “I do” to Jim, my partner of ne years, who beme my “lawfully wedd hband. I didn’t want to be “gay married”; I wanted to be “married” like any other uple, thank you very much.

Our divorce, I thk, did as much as to legimize marriage equaly as our more: How gay marriage beme a nstutnal rightLike so many other people of my generatn, I never thought I’d be able to marry “my hband” and “to love, re for, and support him, ” as we put our vows. As she explaed later, after other gay male upl town got hched, “I like to thk that my [male] iends who have hbands n fd a ty b of validatn hearg that term applied to their chosen one.

(I also didn’t want to be known as the “gay divorcé, ” as some of my iends began llg me. We did not—uld not—jt snap our fgers and erase our turned out, many of our iends—straight and gay—didn’t thk divorce laws applied to same-sex upl.

DIVORCED COUPLE ARE COMMTED TO FAY AFTER HE COM OUT AS GAY: 'OUR LOVE IS DIFFERENT NOW'

Fred Hertz, a California-based lawyer specializg same-sex-fay law, told me: “What is really surprisg to many of my clients is there is no separate set of l for gay upl—nventnal heterosexual divorce law appli to all married upl, gay or straight. I, too, have been a very public advote for same-sex marriage, and I feared that I had “let down my tribe, ” as another gay man told me after his marriage end. Last July, Jsi Turner's hband Matthew, a bt-sellg Christian children's book thor, took to Instagram to share the "difficult news" that he was gay and that they were endg their 16-year marriage.

FDG OUT YOUR SPOE IS GAY

"Beg gay isn't a new disvery for me, " he wrote. But growg up a nservative, fundamentalist Baptist church, he was tght over and over aga that God rejected homosexualy.

"I lived wh the ia that I jt uldn't be gay, " he ntu. "I uld not be gay. The pair entered marriage unselg, and the summer of 2019, Matthew revealed he was possibly bisexual, sharg a few months later that he was gay: "I mean, she flat out asked me, 'I want to know, are you…'".

"When he said he was gay, I was like, 'Okay. "I joke that if you're gog to get divorced, your spoe beg gay is the bt reason, bee there wasn't this big long affair or we hated each other or anythg like that, " Jsi says of her ntued support. The news me as a shock to her, as do to many men and women who learn their spoe is gay.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* DIVORCING A GAY SPOUSE

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