‘We are expected to be OK wh not havg children’: how gay parenthood through surrogacy beme a battleground | Surrogacy | The Guardian

Contents:

• EVIL: GAY MEN REPORTEDLY HAVE THEIR BABY KILLED AFTER SURROGATE GETS BREAST CANCER
• MORE GAY MEN CHOOSE SURROGACY TO HAVE CHILDREN
• FOR GAY MEN, HAVG A BLOGIL CHILD N BE PLITED
• ‘WE ARE EXPECTED TO BE OK WH NOT HAVG CHILDREN’: HOW GAY PARENTHOOD THROUGH SURROGACY BEME A BATTLEGROUND
• GAY FATHER SURROGACY FAI: RELATNSHIPS WH SURROGAT AND EGG DONORS AND PARENTAL DISCLOSURE OF CHILDREN'S ORIGS
• GAY SGAPOREAN MAN N ADOPT SON BORN VIA SURROGACY, URT L
• IS IT SELFISH FOR A GAY COUPLE TO HAVE KIDS VIA SURROGACY?

EVIL: GAY MEN REPORTEDLY HAVE THEIR BABY KILLED AFTER SURROGATE GETS BREAST CANCER

In a heartbreakg revelatn shared by Live Actn Print Lila Rose, word has spread that two gay men hired a woman to serve as a surrogate mother for their child, only to orr the child killed when the woman was diagnosed wh breast ncer durg her pregnancy.

But the gay uple mand that their son be “immediately termated, " suggtg that they didn’t want to face the hassle and potential health effects of a baby born so prematurely. As Rose noted on her Twter feed, when Pearson refed to abort the child and even offered to adopt herself, the gays “threatened legal actn” and “mand a ath certifite. It’s now bee a way for gay upl to reproduce and manipulate a woman’s body for their own selfish ga, and for children to be treated as modi to be bought, sold, or disrd.

In this se, Pearson was merely an cubator for the child and she, as well as the gay uple, should have never agreed to “play God” this way. "Ford is part of what appears to be a shift attu among gay men their 30s and 40s, who hadn't tradnally been all that keen on beg now, acrdg to medil experts and men the gay muny, neher genr, nor sexual orientatn, nor age is an impediment to havg babi.

MORE GAY MEN CHOOSE SURROGACY TO HAVE CHILDREN

And one of the last breakthroughs of the gay pri movement, more male same-sex upl are now embracg gtatnal surrogacy to have a blogil Ford's se, Richard Buckley, former fashn photographer and Ford's 20-year-partner, has said the past he wanted nothg to do wh babi.

In 2005, Buckley retired as edor--chief of Vogu Homm Internatnal and moved to Italy after beg treated for "who's-your-daddy" bate wh the Ford-Buckley relatnship unrsr the generatn gap wh the male gay muny when to acceptg fatherhood. "When I was my 20s, was unheard of for gay men to want babi to beg wh, " said David, a 45-year-old gay wrer om California, who preferred not to e his full name. A lot of my olr iends had e out of marriag and already have children — men who had e out of divorc when they fally accepted or nonted the fact that they were gay.

'"Givg gay men the opportuny to have children also un fai, acrdg to the Center for Surrogate Parentg, which has clics California and Maryland. "Though not the tras most women would look for a donor profile, " Etheridge apparently admired his mil for gay men who want to raise a child om fancy, adoptn is not always an optn bee there are so few available, domtilly. "But many gay men, like lbians and some sgle women, want a blogil nnectn to their wasn't until the last that gay men have found not only the cultural acceptance of gay parenthood, but the availabily of gay muny centers and support the Los Angel-based Pop Luck Club started 1998, had only ne members.

FOR GAY MEN, HAVG A BLOGIL CHILD N BE PLITED

"The club provis a mentorg program for upl thkg of havg children, provis a news chat group and holds a monthly "pot luck" dner for gay parentg culture has so quickly changed that at the last gay march Washgton, D.

One such uple — a rearch doctor and his partner — have jt nceived their first child, acrdg to David, who flirted wh beg a parent, but eventually cid agast , gay men are the ultimate parents.

"The Amerin Psychiatric Associatn, as well as a dozen other other major medil and social anizatns, are firm their posn that homosexualy is "neher a disorr to be treated nor a disease to be cured. "The APA go even further wh regard to gay parentg, argug that there are no velopmental differenc between children raised by homosexuals or heterosexuals, " telligence, psychologil adjtment, social adjtment, populary wh iends, velopment of social sex role inty or velopment of sexual orientatn.

‘WE ARE EXPECTED TO BE OK WH NOT HAVG CHILDREN’: HOW GAY PARENTHOOD THROUGH SURROGACY BEME A BATTLEGROUND

"New York Universy psychologist April Mart, a lbian who has three children through donor sematn, said children of gay parents have a "broar awarens of genr issu and greater sense of permissn to be themselv.

GAY FATHER SURROGACY FAI: RELATNSHIPS WH SURROGAT AND EGG DONORS AND PARENTAL DISCLOSURE OF CHILDREN'S ORIGS

"Some crics argue that children of gay parents have more difficulty schools, but Mart said the on should be on the schools to make sure they are supportive of all children. "Mart, the thor of "Lbian and Gay Parentg, " said rearch shows that even sexual intifitn is not promised children of gay parents.

GAY SGAPOREAN MAN N ADOPT SON BORN VIA SURROGACY, URT L

The procs tak about two years and sts around $200, 000 per child - and prospective gay fathers don't meet eligibily creria for most health surance plans' fertily benefs, although this is begng to change. Brent Monsr, MD, recently helped lead a study to document tails of how gay men e assisted reproductive technology to build their fai, cludg qutns such as how many children they wish to have and how often their efforts succeed. Your paper giv historil ntext for how shiftg attus toward LGBTQ fai have changed the climate for gay men who want to bee fathers.

Cisgenr gay men are almost never clud this rearch, so as physicians we don't know anythg about their characteristics as reproductive health patients, even basic rmatn such as their mographics, clil cisn-makg patterns or out. It's important to keep md that our data reflect the experienc of dividuals who n afford reproductive medil re bee their employer-sponsored fertily benefs ver , and that is still an unual suatn for gay men.

IS IT SELFISH FOR A GAY COUPLE TO HAVE KIDS VIA SURROGACY?

This data served as the foundatn for a grant applitn we've jt had approved to nduct a much larger populatn study that will give accs to rmatn on about 2, 000 embryo transfers annually gay men. A lot of people see a fertily doctor bee they have an unrlyg medil issue, whereas gay male upl ually have two possible sperm sourc, a young egg donor and a gtatnal rrier who has already had succsful pregnanci. We regnize that this may be bee a lot of gay men requt tws or may ultimately want two children, and fertily doctors may be transferrg two embryos to try to save their patients money so they only have to go through the fertily treatment procs once.

But we need to ask: Are we puttg gtatnal rriers at unnecsary risk om tw pregnanci, and puttg gay upl at unnecsary risk of havg babi the NICU? What do add to have physician-scientists like you, who are gay, answerg rearch qutns about this populatn of prospective parents?

I'm currently a fellow, and I have patients g specifilly to see me, not bee I'm the most amazg doctor but bee I'm gay, and they want a gay doctor. ” Wh marriage equaly won years ago, they expected to be able to have a nventnal married months before their weddg, a targeted ad om an anisatn lled Gay Parents to Be land Maggipto’s Instagram feed, offerg ee nsultatns wh a fertily doctor who’d give them “the whole ndown” on how they uld start a fay. “We had the appotment and we were 100% on the same page – let’s move forward wh this, ” says ’s when they first beme aware of the eye-waterg st of blogil parenthood for gay men.