To be a gay man a straight marriage is to be disnnected om self. Let's read my iend Andrew Reid's story.
Contents:
- GAY, MIDDLE-AGED, AND LONELY AS HELL
- I’M 43 – BUT I’M MA TO FEEL LIKE A DOSR BY YOUNGER GAY MEN
- HOW TO COPE WHEN YOU'RE GAY AND LONELY
- SAVAGE LOVE: I AM A LONELY, AGG GAY MAN; WHAT SHOULD I DO?
- THE LONELS OF BEG GAY A STRAIGHT MARRIAGE
- A GAY MAN AT MIDLIFE PONRS BEG LONELY AND ‘INVISIBLE’
- GAY AND CAN'T FD A PARTNER?
GAY, MIDDLE-AGED, AND LONELY AS HELL
‘In gay years, you’re rather past your sell-by date, aren’t you?’ the person ont of me said, raisg an eyebrow. * i'm a lonely gay man *
In our lifetime, the gay muny has ma more progrs on legal and social acceptance than any other mographic group history. As recently as my own adolcence, gay marriage was a distant aspiratn, somethg newspapers still put sre quot.
I’M 43 – BUT I’M MA TO FEEL LIKE A DOSR BY YOUNGER GAY MEN
I am a gay man my late 50s and have never been a relatnship. I am so lonely, and the paful empts I feel is beg absolutely unbearable. * i'm a lonely gay man *
Still, even as we celebrate the sle and speed of this change, the rat of prsn, lonels and substance abe the gay muny rema stuck the same place they’ve been for s. Gay people are now, pendg on the study, between 2 and 10 tim more likely than straight people to take their own liv. In a survey of gay men who recently arrived New York Cy, three-quarters suffered om anxiety or prsn, abed dgs or alhol or were havg risky sex—or some batn of the three.
HOW TO COPE WHEN YOU'RE GAY AND LONELY
* i'm a lonely gay man *
Dpe all the talk of our “chosen fai, ” gay men have fewer close iends than straight people or gay women. “Marriage equaly and the chang legal stat were an improvement for some gay men, ” says Christopher Stults, a rearcher at New York Universy who studi the differenc mental health between gay and straight men.
In the Netherlands, where gay marriage has been legal sce 2001, gay men rema three tim more likely to suffer om a mood disorr than straight men, and 10 tim more likely to engage “suicidal self-harm.
SAVAGE LOVE: I AM A LONELY, AGG GAY MAN; WHAT SHOULD I DO?
Advice on how to nont ageism the gay muny spe earlier loss and how to avoid beg alone. * i'm a lonely gay man *
TTravis Salway, a rearcher wh the BC Centre for Disease Control Vanuver, has spent the last five years tryg to figure out why gay men keep killg themselv.
THE LONELS OF BEG GAY A STRAIGHT MARRIAGE
“But now you’ve got lns of gay men who have e out of the closet and they still feel the same isolatn.
By the late 2000s, he was a social worker and epimlogist and, like me, was stck by the growg distance between his straight and gay iends.
When the dispary first me to light the ’50s and ’60s, doctors thought was a symptom of homosexualy self, jt one of many maniftatns of what was, at the time, known as “sexual versn.
A GAY MAN AT MIDLIFE PONRS BEG LONELY AND ‘INVISIBLE’
” As the gay rights movement gaed steam, though, homosexualy disappeared om the DSM and the explanatn shifted to trma. “That was the ia I had, too, ” Salway says, “that gay suici was a product of a bygone era, or was ncentrated among adolcents who didn’t see any other way out.
GAY AND CAN'T FD A PARTNER?
The problem wasn’t jt suici, wasn’t jt afflictg teenagers and wasn’t jt happeng areas staed by homophobia. He found that gay men everywhere, at every age, have higher rat of rdvascular disease, ncer, ntence, erectile dysfunctn, allergi and asthma—you name , we got . In Canada, Salway eventually disvered, more gay men were dyg om suici than om AIDS, and had been for years.
“We see gay men who have never been sexually or physilly asslted wh siar post-trmatic strs symptoms to people who have been bat suatns or who have been raped, ” says Alex Kroghlian, a psychiatrist at the Fenway Instute’s Center for Populatn Rearch LGBT Health. Sce he looked to the data, Salway has started terviewg gay men who attempted suici and survived.