Straight Women and Their Gay Hbands | Psychology Today

Contents:

• IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND
• SHOULD GAY MARRIAGE BE LEGAL?
• MY HBAND IS GAY BUT WE’RE MARRIED WH TWO KIDS AND HAVE GREAT SEX
• STRAIGHT WOMEN AND THEIR GAY HBANDS
• WHEN GAY MEN (MIS)MARRY STRAIGHT WOMEN: BONNIE KAYE'S STORY
• 'DID I EVER REALLY KNOW HIM?': THE WOMEN WHO MARRIED GAY MEN
• HOW TO COPE WHEN YOUR SPOE COM OUT AS GAY
• GAY MARRIAGE QUOT
• GAY MARRIAGE
• I AM GAY BUT I AM MARRIED TO A WOMAN AND WH KIDS

IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND

Sometim a woman may have been a heterosexual relatnship for years and yet feel somethg is somehow "off;" and she may fd herself askg, "Is my hband gay? " Many women fd this qutn unthkable but acrdg to Bonnie Kaye,, an expert women married to gay men, is timated that 4 ln women have been, or are, married to gay men. Unfortunately, is timated that 50% of gay hbands hi their homosexualy om their wiv and don't reach this place of honty on their own.

In many s, is the wife, who after spectg that somethg is wrong, mt nont the gay hband wh the evince, and only then n hontly be achieved. But if you're wonrg, "Is my man gay, " might be helpful to know that there are signs to look for, acrdg to Kaye.

If turns out that a hband is, fact, gay, the fallout n be difficult to al wh, particularly for the straight partner. What's important to remember is that the hband's homosexualy is entirely his rponsibily and has nothg to do wh the wife.

SHOULD GAY MARRIAGE BE LEGAL?

On June 26, 2015, the US Supreme Court led that gay marriage is a right protected by the US Constutn all 50 stat.

US public opn had shifted signifintly over the years, om 27% approval of gay marriage 1996 to 55% 2015, the year beme legal throughout the Uned Stat, to 61% 2019. Proponents of legal gay marriage ntend that gay marriage bans are discrimatory and unnstutnal, and that same-sex upl should have accs to all the benefs enjoyed by different-sex upl. On July 25, 2014 Miami-Da County Circu Court Judge Sarah Zabel led Florida’s gay marriage ban unnstutnal and stated that the ban “serv only to hurt, to discrimate, to prive same-sex upl and their fai of equal digny, to label and treat them as send-class cizens, and to em them unworthy of participatn one of the fundamental stutns of our society.

The Amerin Psychologil Associatn, Amerin Psychiatric Associatn, and others nclud that legal gay marriage giv upl “accs to the social support that already facilat and strengthens heterosexual marriag, wh all of the psychologil and physil health benefs associated wh that support. A study found that same-sex married upl were “signifintly ls distrsed than lbian, gay, and bisexual persons not a legally regnized relatnship. A 2010 analysis found that after their stat had banned gay marriage, gay, lbian and bisexual people suffered a 37% crease mood disorrs, a 42% crease alhol-e disorrs, and a 248% crease generalized anxiety disorrs.

MY HBAND IS GAY BUT WE’RE MARRIED WH TWO KIDS AND HAVE GREAT SEX

The Congrsnal Budget Office timated 2004 that ferally-regnized gay marriage would cut the budget fic by around $450 ln a year. In July 2012 New York Cy Mayor Michael Bloomberg announced that gay marriage had ntributed $259 ln to the cy’s enomy jt a year sce the practice beme legal there July 2011. In 2012, the Williams Instute at the Universy of California at Los Angel (UCLA) found that the first five years after Massachetts legalized gay marriage 2004, same-sex weddg expendur (such as venue rental, weddg k, etc.

STRAIGHT WOMEN AND THEIR GAY HBANDS

Relig stutns n cle to marry gay and lbian upl if they wish, but they should not dictate marriage laws for society at large. Gay marriage is a civil right protected by the US Constutn’s mments to liberty and equaly, and is an ternatnally regnized human right for all people. Civil unns and domtic partnerships uld provi the protectns and benefs gay upl need whout changg the fn of marriage.

2016 printial ndidate and former Hewlett-Packard CEO Carly Fra stated that civil unns are aquate as an equivalent to marriage: “Benefs are beg btowed to gay upl [ civil unns]… I believe we need to rpect those who believe that the word marriage has a spirual foundatn… Why n’t we rpect and tolerate that while at the same time sayg ernment nnot btow benefs unequally. Court papers filed July 2014 by attorneys fendg Arizona’s gay marriage ban stated that “the State regulat marriage for the primary purpose of channelg potentially procreative sexual relatnships to endurg unns for the sake of jog children to both their mother and their father… Same-sex upl n never provi a child wh both her blogil mother and her blogil father. Contrary to the pro gay marriage argument that some different-sex upl nnot have children or don’t want them, even those s there is still the potential to produce children.

WHEN GAY MEN (MIS)MARRY STRAIGHT WOMEN: BONNIE KAYE'S STORY

Gay marriage has accelerated the assiatn of gays to mastream heterosexual culture to the triment of the homosexual muny. By rcg the differenc opportuni and experienc between gay and heterosexual people, this unique culture may cease to exist. Lee Badgett, PhD, Director of the Center for Public Policy and Admistratn at the Universy of Massachetts at Amherst, stated that for many gay activists “marriage means adoptg heterosexual forms of fay and givg up distctively gay fay forms and perhaps even gay and lbian culture.

'DID I EVER REALLY KNOW HIM?': THE WOMEN WHO MARRIED GAY MEN

Pla Ettelbrick, JD, Profsor of Law and Women’s Studi, wrote 1989, “Marriage ns ntrary to two of the primary goals of the lbian and gay movement: the affirmatn of gay inty and culture and the validatn of many forms of relatnships. LGBT activist llective Agast Equaly stated, “Gay marriage ap hetero privilege… [and] creas enomic equaly by perpetuatg a system which ems married begs more worthy of the basics like health re and enomic rights.

The lears of the Gay Liberatn Front New York said July 1969, “We expose the stutn of marriage as one of the most sid and basic staers of the system. Queer activist Anrs Zanichkowsky stated June 2013 that the then mpaign for gay marriage “tentnally and malicly eras and exclus so many queer people and cultur, particularly trans and genr non-nformg people, poor queer people, and queer people non-tradnal fai… marriage thks non-married people are viant and not tly servg of civil rights.

Gay marriage is ntrary to the word of God and is patible wh the beliefs, sacred texts, and tradns of many relig groups. The Bible, Levic 18:22, stat: “Thou shalt not lie wh mankd, as wh womankd: is abomatn, ” th nmng homosexual relatnships.

HOW TO COPE WHEN YOUR SPOE COM OUT AS GAY

Two orthodox Jewish groups, the Orthodox Agudath Israel of Ameri and the Orthodox Unn, also oppose gay marriage, as do mastream Islam.

In Islamic tradn, several hadhs (passag attributed to the Prophet Muhammad) nmn gay and lbian relatnships, cludg the saygs “When a man mounts another man, the throne of God shak, ” and “Sihaq [lbian sex] of women is za [illegimate sexual terurse]. Matt Barber, Associate Dean for Onle Programs at Liberty Universy School of Law, stated, “Every dividual engaged the homosexual liftyle, who has adopted a homosexual inty, they know, tuively, that what they’re dog is immoral, unnatural, and self-stctive, yet they thirst for that affirmatn. A 2003 set of guil signed by Pope John Pl II stated: “There are absolutely no grounds for nsirg homosexual unns to be any way siar or even remotely analogo to God’s plan for marriage and fay… Marriage is holy, while homosexual acts go agast the natural moral law.

GAY MARRIAGE QUOT

Former Arkansas ernor and Republin printial ndidate Mike Huckabee stated that gay marriage is “nsistent wh nature and nature’s law.

On May 17, 2004, the first legal gay marriage the Uned Stat was performed Cambridge, MA between Tanya McCloskey, a massage therapist, and Marcia Kadish, an employment manager at an engeerg firm. The mom-of-two scrib herself as straight while her hband Matthew intifi as gay or pansexual, admtg he is “more attracted to men than women”. Brynn met Matthew for the first time at church early 2016 and jt a few dat , he revealed he was gay.

Matthew had known he was attracted to men sce he was a teenager, but he belonged to the Church which do not enurage homosexual relatnships.

GAY MARRIAGE

The mom-of-two, who liv Ypsilanti, Michigan said: “He looked straight at me and said ‘Brynn, I’m gay. “I’ve heard gay men say that they n’t even image tryg to be sexual wh a woman, and I have never felt that way. The mom-of-two scrib herself as straight while her hband Matthew intifi as gay or pansexual, admtg he is “more attracted to men than women.

I AM GAY BUT I AM MARRIED TO A WOMAN AND WH KIDS

While Brynn is a straight woman, Matthew’s sexualy isn’t lear and he has intified as gay, pansexual and bisexual. Fally, the relatnships suggt to some people “reparative therapy, ” the uhil and impossible claim that a person n be changed om gay to straight. The men this televisn program aren’t claimg to be ex-gay nor that they n change their sexual orientatn (at least not on the show).

They report they are attracted to men but choose not to live as a gay man and their straight wiv accept this. There are plenty of wiv who choose to stay married even after fdg out later the marriage that their hband is gay and attracted to men. They make this choice wh open discsns, which are very paful and emotnal for both the gay man and the straight wife.