Gay Men and Agg: Fdg Your Purpose | Psychology Today

gay growing old

An extensive list of APA and other rourc to support the agg lbian, gay, bisexual and transgenr muny.

Contents:

HOW TO EMBRACE AGG AS A GAY MAN

Nearly ne 10 Amerins say they know someone who’s gay, but for the 1 to 3 ln LGBT elrs the U.S., growg old gay uld mean gog back to the closet. In part one of this three-part seri, KJZZ exam the many hurdl — cludg stigma, social isolatn and fancial challeng — facg LGBT elrs. * gay growing old *

Nearly ne 10 Amerins say they know someone who’s gay, but for the 1 ln to 3 ln LGBT elrs the Uned Stat, growg old uld mean gog back to the closet. "I don't thk the word homosexual was the dictnary, might have been medil dictnari, but I don't thk Webster's had .

And they do that by participatg events like the Phoenix Pri Para, hostg a monthly PFLAG meetg, which is short for Parents and Friends of Lbians and Gays and advertisg LGBT-iendly said they do this "bee of the huge fear that is out there of g to a muny like ours bee tly not many are proclaimg that everybody is wele. "I thk too terms of fay acceptance, the history of people beg wrten off by their fay bee they were gay and then now at their retirement age this creat a vulnerabily, " said he said, that is not shared by the straight muny. In some stanc, the reports not only stoked fears, they also perpetuated news report talked about how the liftyle of some "male homosexuals has triggered an epimic of a rare form of ncer.

While olr lbian, gay and bisexual people face siar hurdl experienced by olr transgenr Amerins, trans elrs are often nonted wh circumstanc that are unique to them.

GAY AND GROWG OLD

When so many gay men have spent their formative years the closet, ’s difficult to pe the feelg that you need to make up for lost time. * gay growing old *

Most people will tell you they know someone who is gay or lbian — but they might not know someone who is transgenr, let alone a trans elr.

We’ve all seen the viral tweet: “Gay culture is beg a teenager when you're 30 bee your teenage years were not yours to live.

GAY MEN AND AGG: FDG YOUR PURPOSE

Olr adults who are gay n face enomic, social and health re challeng bee of years of discrimatn. Gay Pri Month is a time to learn more. * gay growing old *

It would be unfair to suggt that gay male culture is pletely foced on repturg youth, but there’s fely a subset of the LGBTQ muny that equat beg young wh beg sexually sirable. Open any gay hookup app and you’ll fd guys lookg for, or llg themselv, a “twk, ” s-old queer shorthand for a young cis man who’s probably whe, probably slim, and probably has ltle or no body hair. And if he ntu to date younger men as he gets olr, he might bee fed by another, ls flatterg label: “chickenhawk”—sentially the gay male versn of a “ugar.

Roo, a gay man om London who turns 30 next Febary, adms that he felt sucked to a llective "marketplace mentaly" for much of his twenti. "I thk we put so much currency on certa facets of ourselv and other gay men when we're that age, " he says.

GROWG OLR GAY

Believe or not, gay men, your reason for beg has nothg to do wh the gym * gay growing old *

I spent the last year of my twenti gog out to gay clubs more than ever before—even the on I’d prevly dismissed as “basic” and “jt for out-of-towners. ”It’s ridiculo to claim that society plac greater expectatns on agg gay men than other groups—look at the way women are judged if they’re still “sgle and childls” their thirti.

"I didn't really thk much about turng 30 until maybe three months before happened, " says Bu, a gay man om Manchter. This is jt one of many sights prented by SAGE, the untry’s largt and olst anizatn dited to improvg the liv of lbian, gay, bisexual and transgenr (LGBT) olr adults.

GAY PEOPLE 'AT RISK OF A LONELIER OLD AGE'

But viss to senr livg muni left them worried that after s of livg openly marchg pri paras and raisg money for gay . * gay growing old *

Four years ago at a Gay Pri panel discsn, Kendal rints gathered to hear personal stori om eight gay, lbian and transgenr rints.

GROWG OLD OPENLY GAY

Growg old as a gay man: how life has changed for the gay liberatn generatn - Volume 35 Issue 10 * gay growing old *

The group, ma up of rints and staff, meets throughout the year as issu and events arise, cludg Gay Pri Month.

This year Kendal rints and staff are observg Gay Pri by flyg rabow flags along the Heiser entrance, home and office wdows and displayed on ID badg. Films that will be shown at Kendal durg Gay Pri month clu documentari “The Stonewall Uprisg, ” “Growg Up Trans, ” “A Secret Love” and “Disclosure” and movi “Joe Bell, ” “The Birdge, ” “To Wong Foo, ” “Pri” and “Heartstopper. He was about to publish a book on succsful gay male agg and his suici note suggts that he was stgglg wh the very issue he was wrg about—a potentially difficult subject for many gay men as we grow olr..

Like their heterosexual unterparts, gay men rpond and react sexually to visual stimuli, namely the physil appeal of their sexual partners. However, growg up gay a stigmatizg society might leave them particularly ill-sued to face this challenge.

THEY LIVED A 'DOUBLE LIFE' FOR S. NOW, THE GAY ELRS ARE TELLG THEIR STORI.

This article is a study of how gay men and lbian dividuals perceive the agg procs. The fdgs dite that gay men have more negative views of how gay society views growg olr and how they view their own growg olr than do lbian rponnts. Gay men were also found to be more agei … * gay growing old *

At the same time, we learned beg gay was somethg shameful and disgtg needg to be hidn om the world, cludg the people clost to . So perhaps we were vulnerable to some of the dark sis of gay male life, namely, s overemphasis on looks, youth, and sexual attractivens at the st of healthier and life stag valu that n assist as we age.

Wound gay men are perhaps among the least equipped to handle the challenge of fdg somethg to hold onto, somethg lastg and meangful to sta onelf through the agg procs. Nothg is wrong wh ltg after a handsome man—(we are gay men after all), nor dog what you n to be one yourself, but be reful never to value the wrappg over s ntent. For gay men to judge and put other gay men down mak about as much sense as Newt Ggrich nmng someone else’s fily.

3) Those of who are gay have ually veloped the skills to be good social crics—how n we not if we live a world that rejects ? There are about as few seventy-somethg gay men at dance clubs as there are twenty-somethg gay men at the opera, and this says ls about their attus toward each other than about their rpective attus toward dance clubs and opera.

GROWG OLD AS A GAY MAN: HOW LIFE HAS CHANGED FOR THE GAY LIBERATN GENERATN

* gay growing old *

While we see straight people agg (bee we have parents and grandparents and so on), we rarely see our fellow gay people dog so.

Yet me is hardly the first gay generatn to grow old, and there’s no reason to revent the wheel when facg such qutns. He wants to fd a place close to rtrants and shoppg and entertament, but also one where he’s fortable as a gay man. To vtigate the realy behd the stereotype I reviewed 19 books published between 1996 and 2014, all of which al whole and part wh sexualy gay men 50 years of age or olr.

OLD AND GAY: 9 ACTNS WE NEED TO TAKE NOW FOR THE AGG RABOW NATN

Individual experienc vary, of urse, but many gay men have good relatnships wh their children and, turn, wh their grandchildren. While most gay men are unmarried, they ually live a work of other relatnships, which form a stable social stcture.

WHO'S AAID OF GROWG OLD? GAY AND LBIAN PERCEPTNS OF AGG

Buildg fai nnected wh love “effectively unteracts the alienatn of homophobia, ” one wrer’s eloquent phrase.

” This stigma is pronounced the gay muny, given s emphasis on youth and physil bety men who bought to the nventnal standards of gay attractivens, agg n be terrifyg. Compared wh younger unterparts, olr gay guys worry ls about beg known, intified or exposed as homosexual.

LBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL AND TRANSGENR AGG

The most succsful mature gay men are rilient: they rebound after setbacks, they keep gog, and they stay optimistic.

Gay men, like creasg numbers of persons the general populatn, are shiftg their views of agg towards seeg as potentially full and rich. In addn to ncerns about HIV, gay men are subject to the ills the flh is heir to: heart disease, ncer, arthris and other diseas.

In one study almost 40% of gay men over 50 acknowledged sexual difficulti a typil year, wh two–thirds of the problems stemmg om blogil . Instead of a quick asm, gay men this age group reach for what one thor lls, “passn, creativy, and patience” their sexual life.

GAY MEN AND AGG

Formerly rtricted to cisg on the street, pickg up men bars, and havg anonymo sex bathho, gay men are now explorg the Inter. Olr gay men who take a forward-lookg, optimistic approach to life general are more likely to have a satisfyg sexual life.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* GAY GROWING OLD

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3.8l.1-.09zm6.41-19.6a9.78 9.78 0 01-6.91 2.3 8.92 8.92 0 01-6.3-2.9l-.2.1v14.6h3.8l9.7-14zm22.9 43.41l-8.8-6.91-2.71 2.7-1.3-1.29 3.1-3.21V39.4H671l-.2-.2 3.5-5.2h2.5v-6.7L687.41 16l.2.2V34h8l.2.2-3.5 5.2h-4.7v30.3l4.8 3.7 3.3-3.4 1.3 1.4z"></path></svg><span class="alic gray font-xxxxs font--body">Democracy Di Darkns</span></div></div><hear class="w-100" data-qa="ma-full"><div class="hi-for-prt"><div class="wpds-c-bHXelH wpds-c-kBYYkb wpds-c-bHXelH-fGHEql-maxWidth-fluid wpds-c-bHXelH-iiAiuHj-css"><nav class="wpds-c-hwIWrt wpds-c-hwIWrt-hIlwIL-alignment-left wpds-c-hwIWrt-eDNePg-cv flex overflow-hidn overflow-xscroll b bb mw-vw-100 grid-mobile-full-bleed" aria-label="Sectn" data-qa="sendary-nav" tabx="0"><div class="wpds-c-sertR"><a href=" data-qa="sendary-nav-primary-lk" class="wpds-c-bePrsO wpds-c-bePrsO-kTaxWV-font-meta wpds-c-bePrsO-hbKkTl-labelColor-black">Health</a><a class="wpds-c-bgVtfq wpds-c-jxcbnu wpds-c-bgVtfq-ecTIdS-variant-primary ml-md" href="/bs/health-re/" 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data-qa="subheadle" style="max-width:1000px">Who would you ll to brg you chicken soup? For many LGBTQ senrs who are alone, that’s no easy qutn.</h2><div class="flex prt-byle prt-mt-none"><div class="byle-wrapper flex-lumn flex"><div class="PJLV PJLV-ihSmMVC-css"><div class="PJLV PJLV-iPJLV-css mb-xxs overriStyl" style="gap:0.5rem" data-qa="thor-byle"><span class="wpds-c-PJLV"><div class="flex ems-center" data-qa="thor-byle"><div class="mr-sm flex lh-0"><div class="wpds-c-iTcer"><img src=" alt="" class="wpds-c-dgBqAZ"/></div></div><span class="left"><div class="flex"><div class="dib font-xxs mb-xxs" data-qa="name-wh-optnal-lk" data-cy="name-wh-optnal-lk"><span data-qa="attributn-text" class="wpds-c-cNdzuP">Perspective by <!-- --> </span><a data-qa="thor-name" href=" rel="thor" class="wpds-c-cNdzuP wpds-c-cNdzuP-ejzZdU-isLk-te">Steven Petrow</a></div></div><span class="wpds-c-ewNrgJ thor-scriptn" data-qa="thor-scriptn">Contributg lumnist</span></span></div></span></div></div><div data-ttid="timtamp" class="wpds-c-kgabfe wpds-c-kgabfe-ieEDlgV-css"><span data-ttid="display-date" class="wpds-c-iKQyrV">October 23, 2022 at 7:10 a.m. EDT</span></div></div></div></hear></div><article class="grid-article mb-xxl-ns" data-qa="ma"><div data-ttid="le-art" data-qa="le-art" class=""><figure class="overflow-hidn relative hi-for-prt center center mb-sm mb-md-ns ml-to-ns mr-to-ns grid-mobile-full-bleed"><div style="filter:blur(10px);transn:filter .1s;le-height:0" class="w-100 mw-100 h-to" width="600" height="400"><img style="background-size:ver;max-width:1600px;background-image:url('data:image/svg+xml;charset=utf-8,%3Csvg xmlns='http%3A//; xmlns%3Axlk='http%3A//; viewBox='0 0 1280 853'%3E%3Cfilter id='b' lor-terpolatn-filters='sRGB'%3E%3CfeGssianBlur stdDeviatn='.5'%3E%3C/feGssianBlur%3E%3CfeComponentTransfer%3E%3CfeFuncA type='discrete' tableValu='1 1'%3E%3C/feFuncA%3E%3C/feComponentTransfer%3E%3C/filter%3E%3Cimage filter='url(%23b)' x='0' y='0' height='100%25' width='100%25' xlk%3Ahref='data%3Aimage/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAAAkAAAAGCAIAAACepSOSAAAACXBIWXMAAC4jAAAuIwF4pT92AAAAs0lEQVQI1wGoAFf/AImSoJSer5yjs52ktp2luJuluKOpuJefsoCNowB+kKaOm66grL+krsCnsMGrt8m1u8mzt8OVoLIAhJqzjZ2tnLLLnLHJp7fNmpyjqbPCqLrRjqO7AIeUn5ultaWtt56msaSnroZyY4mBgLq7wY6TmwCRfk2Pf1uzm2WulV+xmV6rmGyQfFm3nWSBcEIAfm46jX1FkH5Djn5AmodGo49MopBLlIRBfG8yj/dfjF5TUAAAAASUVORK5CYII='%3E%3C/image%3E%3C/svg%3E')" alt="" class="w-100 mw-100 h-to" width="600" height="400" srcSet=" 400w, 540w, 691w, 767w, 916w, 1200w" siz="(max-width: 440px) 440px,(max-width: 600px) 691px,(max-width: 768px) 691px,(m-width: 769px) and (max-width: 1023px) 960px,(m-width: 1024px) and (max-width: 1299px) 530px,(m-width: 1300px) and (max-width: 1439px) 691px,(m-width: 1440px) 916px,440px" dg="async"/></div><figptn class="ml-gutter mr-gutter mr-to-ns ml-to-ns font--subhead font-xxxs mt-xs left gray-dark">A person holds an umbrella the rabow flag lors the annual Gay Pri Para, part of the Durban Pri Ftival, on June 29, 2019, Durban, South Ai. (Rajh Jantilal/AFP/Getty Imag)</figptn></figure></div><div class="grid-body"><div class="wpds-c-PJLV wpds-c-PJLV-hSmMVC-isLuf2-false"><div class="wpds-c-jUMcim wpds-c-jUMcim-ibVGacg-css hi-for-prt mb-sm"><div class="PJLV PJLV-ieDMgMI-css flex ems-center" nfig="[object Object]" data-qa="article-actns"><div class="wpds-c-mfMEg"><div class="wpds-c-kSOqLF wpds-c-hnjNCH wpds-c-kSOqLF-bywHgD-variant-primary wpds-c-kSOqLF-biynoz-nsy-pact wpds-c-kSOqLF-hZSyid-isOutle-te wpds-c-kSOqLF-ejCoEP-in-left wpds-c-kSOqLF-futx-cv wpds-c-hnjNCH-eNNUQD-cv wpds-c-hnjNCH-jGqLyO-cv"><div id="gift-share" data-ttid="gift-share" class="PJLV PJLV-ieGzigK-css hi-for-prt"><button aria-haspopup="dialog" aria-expand="false" aria-ntrols="gift-share-drawer" role="button" tabx="0" aria-label="Share this article" id="gift-share-drawer-ntrol" data-ttid="gift-share-drawer-ntrol" class="wpds-c-PJLV wpds-c-gsmDXe wpds-c-gsmDXe-dTGBTO-placement-ActnBar foc-highlight"><svg xmlns=" fill="currentColor" viewBox="0 0 16 16" class="wpds-c-fBqPWp wpds-c-fBqPWp-idCxsxc-css " aria-hidn="te" focable="false" role="img"><path fill="currentColor" d="M8 .6v3.8h.1c-4.4 0-7.3 4.5-6.9 8.8.1.8.2 1.2.2 1.2l.2 1 .4-1.3c.8-2 2-4 6.2-3.9H8v4l7-6.9L8 .6Zm1 11.3V9.3h-.9c-3 0-4.8.5-6.2 2.9.5-3.3 2.7-6.8 6.2-6.8H9V3l4.5 4.4L9 11.9Z"></path></svg></button></div><span aria-hidn="te" class="wpds-c-fBEbFG">Share</span></div></div><div class="wpds-c-mfMEg"><div class="wpds-c-kSOqLF wpds-c-hnjNCH wpds-c-kSOqLF-bywHgD-variant-primary wpds-c-kSOqLF-biynoz-nsy-pact wpds-c-kSOqLF-hZSyid-isOutle-te wpds-c-kSOqLF-ejCoEP-in-left wpds-c-kSOqLF-futx-cv wpds-c-hnjNCH-eNNUQD-cv wpds-c-hnjNCH-jGqLyO-cv"><button aria-label="Comment" class="wpds-c-gPbxFP"><svg xmlns=" viewBox="0 0 16 16" fill="var(--wpds-lors-primary)" aria-hidn="te" focable="false" role="img" class="wpds-c-kKAfCG wpds-c-efqEZa flex ems-center jtify-center brad-lg poter transn-400 ease--out transn-lors" aria-label="Comment on this story"><tle>Comment on this story</tle><path d="M14 14V2H2v9.47h8.18L12.43 13ZM3 10.52V3h10v9.23l-2.5-1.66Z"></path></svg></button><span aria-hidn="te" class="wpds-c-fBEbFG">Comment</span><span class="wpds-c-fOvfhP wpds-c-fOvfhP-kshkDy-isCommentType-te none" aria-hidn="te"><span class="ment-unt font-xxxxs sc-ral-unt"><span></span></span></span></div></div></div></div></div><div class="teaser-ntent grid-center"><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Who would brg you chicken soup if you were sick? For most people of a certa age, that’s easy — a spoe or an adult child would step up.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">For many LGBTQ people, however, ’s not a simple qutn at all.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="db dn-ns mr-neg-gutter ml-neg-gutter mb-md hi-for-prt" data-qa="subscribe-promo"><div data-orientatn="horizontal" role="separator" class="wpds-c-dbVHzF wpds-c-dbVHzF-hDkAcj-variant-flt"></div><a class="pt-sm pb-sm flex ems-center bold font-xxxs font-xxs-ns jtify-center" href=" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener" style="lor:#166dfc;borr:none"><svg class="ntent-box" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" xmlns=" aria-hidn="te" focable="false" role="img"><tle>Wp</tle><path d="M11.055 8.728l-1.018-1.019-.782.782v6.292l1.782 1.564.018-.019v-7.6zm-4.11.236L5.674 7.71l-.836.855v6.237l1.545 1.327.564-.636V8.964zm2.656 9.074l-2.528-2.182-1.927 2.182-2.619-2.255v-3.564h-.509c-.454 0-.672.273-.745.636H1.09a2.89 2.89 0 0 1-.091-.69c0-.473.2-1.71 1.527-1.71V7.691c0-1.073-.709-1.127-.709-2.054 0-1.037.982-2 2.782-2.637l.164.145c-.6.291-1.09.655-1.09 1.437 0 1.2 1.163.89 1.163 2.782v.727l2.127-2.236 2.237 2.2 2.109-2.2 2.036 2v6.728l-3.745 3.455zm11.108-9.625l-1.073-.982-.964 1.018v6.6c.855.11 1.491.4 2.019.964l.018-.018V8.413zm-2.382.418l-.528.545v10.237l.528.492V8.83zm1.49 9.055c-.308-.382-.69-.709-1.145-.836v3.782l-.036.018-1-.927-2.11 1.945-.036-.018V16.96c-.636.145-1.327.545-1.854 1.2l-.146-.091c.127-1.4.818-2.436 2-2.837v-3.545h-.382c-.527 0-.89.363-.963.763h-.219c-.054-.145-.127-.381-.127-.836 0-.891.6-1.564 1.582-1.564h.11V8.085l-.655-.582-.51.51-.254-.237 2.018-2.073 1.71 1.564V9.05l.527-.564v-2.09h.345v1.727l2.273-2.419L23 7.576v7.91l-3.182 2.4z" fill-le="evenodd"></path></svg><span class="mr-xs ml-xs gray-darkt flex ems-center">Get the full experience.<span class="ml-xs subs-theme blue">Choose your plan</span></span><svg class="ntent-box" width="16" height="16" viewBox="0 0 16 16" xmlns=" style="fill:#166dfc" aria-hidn="te" focable="false" role="img"><tle>ArrowRight</tle><path d="M7.664 1.25l6 6a1 1 0 010 1.414l-6 6L6.25 13.25 10.499 9H2V7h8.585L6.25 2.664 7.664 1.25z" fill-le="nonzero"></path></svg></a><div data-orientatn="horizontal" role="separator" class="wpds-c-dbVHzF wpds-c-dbVHzF-hDkAcj-variant-flt"></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">“Many [would] have to thk really hard about this,” said Imani Woody, an amic and muny advote who retired om AARP to start an anizatn servg LGBTQ senrs. She said chicken soup is a stand- for havg a social support system, which many of need.</p></div></div><div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">“Build your village right now,” Woody said.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">A few years ago, I would have said that my then-hband would be my primary regiver if I beme ill or disabled. I’d have done the same for him. Now I’m 65 and divorced, and this issue — who n I ll on? — is top of md for me.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">It’s also a ser ncern for many LGBTQ people I know, whether sgle or partnered. Take one iend of me, for example, who is 60 and a sgle gay man. He took re of his dyg father last year (as I’d done four years earlier wh my parents). Durg his dad’s lengthy illns, we talked about two qutns that terrify (and I don’t e that word lightly): “Who will take re of when <i>we</i> need help?” “Where will we go when we n no longer take re of ourselv?”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb dn db-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-sktop"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-none pt-lg pb-lg" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"><div>Advertisement</div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Of urse, agg is an equal opportuny challenge for straight and queer people alike. But terviews wh more than four dozen LGBTQ people, sgled and partnered, I heard repeatedly about the anxieti faced by queer elrs.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p><span class="wpds-c-gnhuPA wpds-c-gnhuPA-hqeSyH-variant-terstial wpds-c-gnhuPA-iPJLV-css hi-for-prt"><a data-qa="terstial-lk" href=">4 ways that olr people n bolster or improve their mental health</a></span></p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null"><a href=" target="_blank">SAGE</a>, a nonprof group that provis servic and advocy for LGBTQ elrs, the <a href=" target="_blank">Natnal Rource Center on LGBTQ+ Agg</a>, and <a href=" target="_blank"></a> document the health challeng LGBTQ people face. We’re twice as likely as our straight unterparts to be sgle and live alone, which means more likely to be isolated and lonely. We’re four tim ls likely to have children. We’re more likely to face poverty and homelsns, and to have poor physil and mental health. Many of report layg or avoidg necsary medil re bee we face discrimatn or mistreatment by health-re provirs. If you’re queer and trans or a person of lor, the dispari are heightened further. (There are about 3 ln LGBTQ people 50 and olr.)</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">“It’s a very ser challenge for many LGBTQ olr people,” said Michael Adams, chief executive of SAGE. “The harsh realy is that there jt aren’t as many opportuni for olr LGBTQ folks when to creatg, buildg and matag social nnectns. … We’re lackg the personal nnectns that often e wh tradnal fay stctur.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb dn db-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-sktop"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-none pt-lg pb-lg" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"><div>Advertisement</div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">In part, that’s bee LGBTQ people have often found themselv rejected by fay, iends and muny their younger years bee of their sexual orientatn or genr inty. To boot, we uld not legally marry until 2015, when the <a href=" target=_blank>Supreme Court</a> led favor of marriage equaly. But even married queer folks n end up alone after a divorce or ath, which often brgs different challeng than those faced by straight people facg the same life-changg events.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">An 80-year-old lbian put to me this way: For straight people, “If you were to go to a nursg home, you would not have to worry that people takg re of you did not approve of your orientatn, or that the facily would not take you bee they were a ‘relig’ muny. The are real issu for the queer muny.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Another iend tells me he has no plans for the future except a gut room and a send bathroom. And another said he hop by the time he needs re, there will be an LGBTQ senr muny his cy. “Otherwise, I have nothg,” he said.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb dn db-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-sktop"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-none pt-lg pb-lg" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"><div>Advertisement</div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">A former lleague of me, a lbian, told me she worri about the st of senr livg: “I dread all. I won’t have any dough then, so ’s really up to fate.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p><span class="wpds-c-gnhuPA wpds-c-gnhuPA-hqeSyH-variant-terstial wpds-c-gnhuPA-iPJLV-css hi-for-prt"><a data-qa="terstial-lk" href=">Even midlife, ’s smart to start thkg about where you’ll live when you’re old</a></span></p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Senr livg muni, which provi support for the agg, n be ls than welg to those who are LGBTQ. Staff, some of whom have tradnal views on sexualy, genr inty and marriage, also pose challeng to LGBTQ elrs sce many facili lack the trag and polici to disurage discrimatn, which n lead to harassment, Adams said.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Patrick Mizelle, who lived Geia wh his hband, <a href=">told Kaiser Health News</a> several years ago that he worried about how “churchy” or fah-based their lol optns seemed, and feared they would not be accepted as a uple. “Have I e this far only to go back the closet and pretend we are brothers?” he asked.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb dn db-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-sktop"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-none pt-lg pb-lg" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"><div>Advertisement</div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Rather than take that risk, they moved across the untry to a queer-iendly senr livg plex Portland, Ore. They are among the lucky on that they uld afford both the move and the st of this domtic suatn.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div id="gift-share-le" data-ttid="gift-share-le" class="PJLV PJLV-ilotWTr-css hi-for-prt"><button aria-haspopup="dialog" aria-expand="false" aria-ntrols="gift-share-drawer" role="button" tabx="0" aria-label="Share this article" id="gift-share-drawer-ntrol-le" data-ttid="gift-share-drawer-ntrol-le" class="wpds-c-PJLV wpds-c-gsmDXe wpds-c-gsmDXe-goNocI-placement-Inle foc-highlight"><div data-ttid="gift-share-terstial-trigger" class="wpds-c-kPqOkS wpds-c-kPqOkS-jtSXsT-hasSubsText-false"><span class="wpds-c-hBJqc"><span class="wpds-c-dzSncg">Share this article</span></span><span class="wpds-c-eCvK"><span class="wpds-c-enedHQ wpds-c-enedHQ-cCdK-isShown-false">Share</span><svg xmlns=" fill="currentColor" viewBox="0 0 16 16" aria-hidn="te" focable="false" role="img" class="wpds-c-fBqPWp wpds-c-fDHGth"><path fill="currentColor" d="M8 .6v3.8h.1c-4.4 0-7.3 4.5-6.9 8.8.1.8.2 1.2.2 1.2l.2 1 .4-1.3c.8-2 2-4 6.2-3.9H8v4l7-6.9L8 .6Zm1 11.3V9.3h-.9c-3 0-4.8.5-6.2 2.9.5-3.3 2.7-6.8 6.2-6.8H9V3l4.5 4.4L9 11.9Z"></path></svg></span></div></button></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">How do you fd a welg LGBTQ senr livg arrangement? SAGE publish <a href=">a prehensive list of </a> long-term re facili (anized by state and cy, along wh level of re) that has found to be welg.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">“We also have rourc about the kds of qutns that a nsumer n ask to figure out if a provir is payg attentn to the steps that need to be taken to bee more welg to LGBTQ olr adults,” Adams said.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">SAGE also <a href=">offers trag to staff members</a> at facili that provi elr re, and has partnered wh the Human Rights Campaign, the natnal LGBTQ lobbyg and advocy anizatn, lnchg the <a href=">Long-Term Care Equaly Inx</a>, which sets out bt practic to help make the facili welg to the LGBTQ muny. More than 75 facili have ma pledg to abi by the bt practic. AARP also provis a <a href=" target="_blank">list of affordable LGBTQ-welg senr hog</a>.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb dn db-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-sktop"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-none pt-lg pb-lg" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"><div>Advertisement</div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">What else n LGBTQ people do to fd nnectn, to fd a tribe? Many suggt the importance of velopg tergeneratnal iendships early on life, even as early as your 30s and 40s. Elrs n impart wisdom and experience to younger LGBTQ people, who n provi help return; as s pass, the young on bee the elrs.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Recently, the <a href=";!!M9LbjjnYNg9jBDflsQ!BGIKKglWc16pyIYlFBBT5sQGXG1hlWK-efFrLADzgWYsqJA_K8GzQm6sCAgkr8xjsn1NdpX77Pp9zfwP9TY$" target=_blank>Morn Elr Amy</a>, which refers to self as a “midlife wisdom school,” and the founrs of <a href=";!!M9LbjjnYNg9jBDflsQ!BGIKKglWc16pyIYlFBBT5sQGXG1hlWK-efFrLADzgWYsqJA_K8GzQm6sCAgkr8xjsn1NdpX77Pp99rpcrLg$" target=_blank>Death Over Dner</a>, lnched a program lled “<a href=" target=_blank>Generatns Over Dner</a>” exprsly to nnect people of all ag.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">The <a href=">Harvard Study of Adult Development</a>, which began trackg more than 238 men (regardls of sexual orientatn) 1938 and ntu to this day, has reported nsistently that relatnships are the cril gredient well-beg, particularly as we age.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Put simply, the more nnected we are, the more likely we are to be healthy and happy. To paraphrase Imani Woody: Start buildg those bridg.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="wpds-c-VkPmP hi-for-prt"><div></div></div></div><div class="wpds-c-ipATMk wpds-c-ipATMk-hCiGAB-removeMobileStyl-te"><div class="wpds-c-dhzjXW wpds-c-dhzjXW-iPJLV-css overriStyl mt-md tt"><div id="gift-share-end" data-ttid="gift-share-end" class="PJLV PJLV-idiqKOk-css hi-for-prt"><button aria-haspopup="dialog" aria-expand="false" aria-ntrols="gift-share-drawer" role="button" tabx="0" aria-label="Share this article" id="gift-share-drawer-ntrol-end" data-ttid="gift-share-drawer-ntrol-end" class="wpds-c-PJLV wpds-c-gsmDXe wpds-c-gsmDXe-iIVoLq-placement-Shortcut foc-highlight"><div class="wpds-c-UazGY" id="gift-share-shortcut" data-ttid="gift-share-shortcut"><svg xmlns=" fill="var(--wpds-lors-primary)" viewBox="0 0 16 16" aria-hidn="te" focable="false" role="img" class="wpds-c-fVfumU "><path fill="currentColor" d="M8 .6v3.8h.1c-4.4 0-7.3 4.5-6.9 8.8.1.8.2 1.2.2 1.2l.2 1 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