Gay Men and Agg | Psychology Today

Contents:

• GAY MEN AND AGG
• CREATG A SAFE SPACE FOR GAY SENRS TO RETIRE: PRI MONTH EVENTS TO CELEBRATE THE LGBTQ+ COMMUNY AND MORE
• 6 - SEX AND OLR GAY MEN
• THEY LIVED A 'DOUBLE LIFE' FOR S. NOW, THE GAY ELRS ARE TELLG THEIR STORI.
• A GUI TO GAY ASSISTED LIVG COMMUNI
• TOP LGBT-FRIENDLY PLAC FOR GAY SENR TRAVEL AND RETIREMENT

GAY MEN AND AGG

In the here and now, there is still much homophobia our society: beg looked at an timidatg or shamg way when holdg their same-sex partner’s hand the streets; hearg homophobic people makg plats when gay characters appear on televisn; beg asked appropriate sexual qutns at a party that would never be asked to a heterosexual person; havg to refully select a holiday statn that is gay-iendly.

The third book (Robson, 2017) looked at gay men's workg liv om the perspective of three generatns of gay men om the same ternatnal sample, as well as their views and experienc on retirement om paid work and on old age/later central argument this chapter is that while ageg gay men do acquire and n ll on ‘rourc of ageg’ (Heaphy, 2007) to bat gay ageism, the are limed by the nstrats imposed by their ageg bodi and how the are unrstood. The study’s thors found that the creased risk was partially due to higher rat of prsn that olr LGBTQ people experience due to workplace discrimatn, shame and other stigma associated wh their stigma still persists, but the elrs and producers behd “Not Another Send” hope their project n help, even if jt a small Cooper lived her whole life as an openly gay woman New York Cy.

Senr Advice, a webse that foc on senr livg, recently ranked the bt ci for LGBT people to retire s report, Senr Advice looked at multiple factors, cludg the percentage of LGBT populatn the area, the cy's sre on to the Human Rights Campaign Municipal Equaly Inx (HRCME, which looks at thgs like laws, polici and servic for LGBTQ people), LGBTQ Chamber of Commerce prence, the number of gay-iendly senr muni, lol and state legislatn protectg the LGBTQ muny and st of livg (based on thgs like hog, food, transportatn and healthre) are the top 10 ci for LGBT people to retire.

CREATG A SAFE SPACE FOR GAY SENRS TO RETIRE: PRI MONTH EVENTS TO CELEBRATE THE LGBTQ+ COMMUNY AND MORE

There are LGBT anizatns that are supportive of gay senrs, like Alexandria Gay and Lbian Communy Organizatn, The DC Center for the LGBT Communy and Lbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgenr Veteran assisted livg and adult re sts are signifintly higher than the natnal average Washgton, DC, the average st of home healthre is $44, 044 per year, which is lower than the natnal average of $46, 197, acrdg to Senr Advice. Broward County enforc lol ordanc protectg LGBTQ rights volvg hog, employment, servic and other discrimatn based on genr or sexual orientatn, acrdg to Senr Advice, and Fort Lrdale has many LGBT anizatns, cludg Senr Actn a Gay Environment (SAGE) and Sunserve, an anizatn that provis life assistance and mental health servic to the LGBTQ Lrdale ranked the top five bt U. Petersburg (15 mut by r), has a thrivg rtrant scene and cultural experienc, like the Tampa Theatre (built 1926), Ybor, which is the center of the cy's Lat muny, a Natnal Historic Landmark District and Bch Garns theme also has a perfect sre on the HRCMEI, and Tampa offers many LGBT events, like Tampa Bay Internatnal Gay and Lbian Film Ftival, Tampa LGBT Meetup Groups and Tampa Pri that's held every March (the next one is March 28, 2020).

6 - SEX AND OLR GAY MEN

Heterosexism is the privilegg of heterosexualy over all other sexual orientatns and inti; although is often subtle and visible, heterosexism effectively works to create obstacl to achievg full equaly for gays and lbians (Brotman, Ryan, & Meyer, 2006) notable Canadian anizatns n by gay and lbian muny groups are the 519 Communy Centre Toronto and The Centre Vanuver, both of which have highly anized and advanced programs for gay and lbian senrs and their regivers. Usg qualative exploratory terviews wh regivers that were unrtaken between 2002 and 2006, we explored some of the cril them that emerged the terviews, cludg self-inty as a regiver, the impact on regivers of real and anticipated discrimatn faced by gay and lbian senrs the health re system, g out and the role of regivers, and the need for specialized regiver support servic. Rather than nsir the experience of rg for a gay or lbian olr adult, the lerature tends to approach the issue om the perspective of gay and lbian regivers, many of whom, admtedly, re for their gay or lbian partners, iends, or, more rarely, parents (Cantor, Brennan, & Shippy, 2004; Cantor, Shippy, & Brennan, 2002; Coon, 2004; Freriksen, 1999; Hash, 2001; Hash & Cramer, 2003; Moore, 2002; Shippy, Brennan, & Cantor, 2003; Shippy, Cantor, & Brennan, 2004).

The available scholarship has also reported that there exists signifint experienc of heterosexist and/or homophobic discrimatn at dividual, social, enomic, policy, and stutnal levels (Coon, 2004; Hash, 2001; Hash & Cramer, 2003; Hunter, 2005; Moore, 2002; Wenzel, 2002) few studi on gay and lbian regivg have poted to mon issu nsistent wh the general lerature on regivg, cludg managg regivg rponsibili, experiencg emotnal and physil stras, feelg tensn partner relatnships, and experiencg nflicts wh employment rponsibili (Hash, 2001; Hash & Cramer, 2003; Moore, 2002; Shippy et al., 2003). Supportive fay, iends, and profsnals often served as buffers to regiver stra, yet this support was not generally anticipated and rponnts seemed to expect sensive and unsupportive dividuals (Hash, 2001) and lleagu' (2004) more recent fdgs differed somewhat that their examatn of gay male regivers prented a picture where regivers received signifint support om blogil fay members.

The them clu anticipated and experienced forms of heterosexist and homophobic discrimatn the livery of health re rourc to gay and lbian senrs and their regivers; the challeng of intifyg onelf as gay or lbian, or as the regiver of a gay or lbian senr, the ntext of receivg health re servic; the management of regivg rponsibili; the experience of emotnal and physil stras; and the posive aspects of regivg, cludg those related to a monstratn of mment and the impact of rmal support on the well-beg of senrs and their regivers. The foc on senrs, their regivers, and health and social service provirs facilated unrstandg of the potential dilemmas, gaps, siari, and differenc between the experienc of senrs and their regivers and the ways which service provirs unrstand and make sense of that termed rearch procs njunctn wh our lol and natnal partner anizatns, cludg those reprentg gay and lbian muny anizatns, health policy bodi, home re anizatns and regiver groups. (Partner, lbian)Fally, the existence of ageism the gay and lbian muny may have dimished the sense of muny felt younger years leadg to potential areas of vulnerabily as people aged: I thk that, the biggt worry was gettg olr … bee like he says, when you're young, you swg, you have iends … but when you start to lose your hair, then you're ls sexy and you are alone.

THEY LIVED A 'DOUBLE LIFE' FOR S. NOW, THE GAY ELRS ARE TELLG THEIR STORI.

This anticipated discrimatn was largely based upon prev negative enunters the health re system as experienced by gay and lbian senrs their younger years, but also clud such reali as hearg stori of discrimatn om others or experiencg discrimatn other ntexts (such as fay, school, or workplace settgs) that might have ed a person to velop a generalized expectatn of discrimatn. When qutned whether he felt that sexual orientatn affected the qualy of health re and social servic that the re receiver would receive, one gay iend regiver rpond I thk, you know, fortunately he's able to voice his ncerns and exprs … what he wants … whereas there are people that, I'm sure, aren't able to, or are timidated and they would jt accept the stat quo and … not even necsarily [as good as] the stat quo … (Friend, gay)In addn, regivers also exprsed that beg out and havg higher self-teem ma advotg for servic easier: I thk the difference [is that] now … we have more of an expectatn that people will be more tolerant or more open than they were [back] then.

Individuals who are isolated will be more vulnerable and th serve the particular attentn of service provirs and issue of fdg supportive environments for regivg children may have been more plex, however, as participants' iendship and fay circl did not necsarily nta dividuals who were gay iendly and, th, the regivers may have felt isolated their role. The clu such issu as the velopment of mandatory trag ssns on the needs, reali, and issu facg gay and lbian senrs and their regivers; the hirg of gay and lbian health re workers; specialized support groups or telephone support l for regivers rg for gay and lbian senrs; and muny outreach programs signed to ve gay and lbian muny health profsnals onto boards and mte wh mastream orr for experts to addrs the important ncerns revealed by this study, regiver participants ma several remendatns for current health and social service agenci and provirs the senr servic sector.

A GUI TO GAY ASSISTED LIVG COMMUNI

Five regiver rponnts eher anticipated or had experienced support groups operatg wh heterosexist ameworks, and this served as enough terrent for them not to accs those support servic that may have been of the regivers highlighted tn and trag of health and social service profsnals hop that the practners uld learn acceptance, addrs heterosexist assumptns, and nont homophobia. ” This clus but is not limed to such issu as trag employe at all levels so that they provi a warm and welg environment; g genr-ntral language discsns about relatnships, life history, and inty; providg opportuni to celebrate all forms of diversy; ensurg nfintialy munitn; supportg the wish senrs have regardg re planng and makg sure that they are unrstood and rpected; and engagg dialogue wh gay and lbian muny anizatns to enhance tegratn and knowledge transfer. Although regiver support servic and voluntary regiver anizatns mt be ma more welg for regivers of gay and lbian senrs as a whole, may be bt to offer adult children a space to discs their unique experienc and to nnect wh one rults of this study clearly dite that although experienc of regivers to gay and lbian senrs often echo those of regivers to heterosexual olr adults, differenc do exist.

This pots to a need for volvg gay and lbian health activists anizatns, servic, and policy velopment to ensure that issu of overt and subtle discrimatn are seen, highlighted, and addrsed cln of gay and lbian regivers already existg diversy agendas wh mastream senr servic and regiver anizatns is a necsy orr to advance rponsivens and support to them. Future rearch areas clu some proposed prevly, such as a parative analysis of gay and lbian regivers, heterosexual regivers, and other mory regivers (cludg ethnocultural mory populatns); regivg to pre- and post-liberatn senrs; experienc ral ntexts and wh rpect to diverse social variabl, such as race, ethnicy, and class; legal and fancial ncerns the ntext of rights-based discsns across jurisdictns; regivg to gay and lbian senrs stutnal settgs; and regivg issu for bisexual and transgenred are many unexplored avenu of regivg to gay and lbian senrs.

In this way, rearch fdgs n ntribute to the velopment of a mment to change on the part of gay and lbian muni and mastream health re sectors orr to guarantee that gay and lbian senrs and their fai fd support, fort, and servic signed to meet their needs as they wish to acknowledge the Canadian Instut of Health Rearch, the Social Scienc and Humani Rearch Council of Canada, and the Centre Santé et Servic Socix Cavendish/Universy Affiliated Rearch Centre Social Gerontology for their support of this rearch. InterviewGenrAgeSexual OrientatnRelatnship to CRCRCR's Health StatCG's Relatnship StatForm of CaregivgFrequencyDuratnMontreal 1 M 33 Gay Child Gay father Reverg om stroke Sgle Hospal viss Daily 1 year Montreal 2 M 60+ Gay Partner Partner Unclear Sgle, widow Cookg, cleang, meditn, personal re Daily 6 months Montreal 3 F 61 Heterosexual Neighbor Gay male tenant Confed, lis, arthris, gla, ttal problems Divorced Functnal support, stmental tasks, pannship 3–4 tim/week 8 years Montreal 4 M 52 Gay Partner Partner Disabled a wheelchair; multiple sclerosis Wh partner Cookg, cleang Daily 24 years Montreal 5 F 62 lbian Friend Lbian iend Cancer Sgle Groceri, okg, personal re, meditn 6-hour shifts around the clock 4 months Vanuver 1 F 62 Lbian Partner Partner Unclear Wh partner Hoehold tasks, okg Daily N/A Vanuver 2 M 46 Heterosexual Child Gay father Cancer, then died Sgle Personal re, shoppg, cleang Progrsively more tense to daily 6 years Vanuver 3 F 47 Heterosexual Child Gay father Cancer, then died Divorced Grocery shoppg 1 time/week 5 years Vanuver 4 M 36 Gay Friend Gay iend Unclear Wh partner Instmental tasks, physil needs 1–2 tim/week 10 years Vanuver 5 M 58 Gay Friend Gay iend Unclear Wh partner Phone support, cisns, ocsnal meal 1–2 tim/week 10 years Vanuver 6 M 42 Gay Friend Gay iend Unclear Wh partner Hoehold tasks, phone support 2–3 tim/week 12 years Vanuver 7 F 61 Lbian Partner Partner Unclear Wh partner Hoehold tasks, acpaniment to medil appotments Daily 5 years Vanuver 8 F 57 Heterosexual Sister Lbian sister Unclear Divorced Cleang, okg, phone support Daily when visg 3-week vis Vanuver 9 F 37 Heterosexual Child Lbian mother Unclear Married Cleang, groceri 4–5 tim/week 3 years Vanuver 10 F 68 Lbian Partner Partner In a wheelchair Divorced, wh partner Acpaniment to medil appotments, personal re, anizg other CGs Daily 4 years Halifax 1 F 60 Lbian Partner Partner Bra hemorrhage, aphasia, then slow revery Wh partner Acpaniment to medil appotments, stmental tasks, emotnal support Daily 2 years Halifax 2 F 72 Lbian Partner Partner Breast ncer Wh partner Decisns, acpaniment to medil appotments, emotnal support Daily 13 years InterviewGenrAgeSexual OrientatnRelatnship to CRCRCR's Health StatCG's Relatnship StatForm of CaregivgFrequencyDuratnMontreal 1 M 33 Gay Child Gay father Reverg om stroke Sgle Hospal viss Daily 1 year Montreal 2 M 60+ Gay Partner Partner Unclear Sgle, widow Cookg, cleang, meditn, personal re Daily 6 months Montreal 3 F 61 Heterosexual Neighbor Gay male tenant Confed, lis, arthris, gla, ttal problems Divorced Functnal support, stmental tasks, pannship 3–4 tim/week 8 years Montreal 4 M 52 Gay Partner Partner Disabled a wheelchair; multiple sclerosis Wh partner Cookg, cleang Daily 24 years Montreal 5 F 62 lbian Friend Lbian iend Cancer Sgle Groceri, okg, personal re, meditn 6-hour shifts around the clock 4 months Vanuver 1 F 62 Lbian Partner Partner Unclear Wh partner Hoehold tasks, okg Daily N/A Vanuver 2 M 46 Heterosexual Child Gay father Cancer, then died Sgle Personal re, shoppg, cleang Progrsively more tense to daily 6 years Vanuver 3 F 47 Heterosexual Child Gay father Cancer, then died Divorced Grocery shoppg 1 time/week 5 years Vanuver 4 M 36 Gay Friend Gay iend Unclear Wh partner Instmental tasks, physil needs 1–2 tim/week 10 years Vanuver 5 M 58 Gay Friend Gay iend Unclear Wh partner Phone support, cisns, ocsnal meal 1–2 tim/week 10 years Vanuver 6 M 42 Gay Friend Gay iend Unclear Wh partner Hoehold tasks, phone support 2–3 tim/week 12 years Vanuver 7 F 61 Lbian Partner Partner Unclear Wh partner Hoehold tasks, acpaniment to medil appotments Daily 5 years Vanuver 8 F 57 Heterosexual Sister Lbian sister Unclear Divorced Cleang, okg, phone support Daily when visg 3-week vis Vanuver 9 F 37 Heterosexual Child Lbian mother Unclear Married Cleang, groceri 4–5 tim/week 3 years Vanuver 10 F 68 Lbian Partner Partner In a wheelchair Divorced, wh partner Acpaniment to medil appotments, personal re, anizg other CGs Daily 4 years Halifax 1 F 60 Lbian Partner Partner Bra hemorrhage, aphasia, then slow revery Wh partner Acpaniment to medil appotments, stmental tasks, emotnal support Daily 2 years Halifax 2 F 72 Lbian Partner Partner Breast ncer Wh partner Decisns, acpaniment to medil appotments, emotnal support Daily 13 years Note: CR = re recipient; CG = 1.

TOP LGBT-FRIENDLY PLAC FOR GAY SENR TRAVEL AND RETIREMENT

InterviewGenrAgeSexual OrientatnRelatnship to CRCRCR's Health StatCG's Relatnship StatForm of CaregivgFrequencyDuratnMontreal 1 M 33 Gay Child Gay father Reverg om stroke Sgle Hospal viss Daily 1 year Montreal 2 M 60+ Gay Partner Partner Unclear Sgle, widow Cookg, cleang, meditn, personal re Daily 6 months Montreal 3 F 61 Heterosexual Neighbor Gay male tenant Confed, lis, arthris, gla, ttal problems Divorced Functnal support, stmental tasks, pannship 3–4 tim/week 8 years Montreal 4 M 52 Gay Partner Partner Disabled a wheelchair; multiple sclerosis Wh partner Cookg, cleang Daily 24 years Montreal 5 F 62 lbian Friend Lbian iend Cancer Sgle Groceri, okg, personal re, meditn 6-hour shifts around the clock 4 months Vanuver 1 F 62 Lbian Partner Partner Unclear Wh partner Hoehold tasks, okg Daily N/A Vanuver 2 M 46 Heterosexual Child Gay father Cancer, then died Sgle Personal re, shoppg, cleang Progrsively more tense to daily 6 years Vanuver 3 F 47 Heterosexual Child Gay father Cancer, then died Divorced Grocery shoppg 1 time/week 5 years Vanuver 4 M 36 Gay Friend Gay iend Unclear Wh partner Instmental tasks, physil needs 1–2 tim/week 10 years Vanuver 5 M 58 Gay Friend Gay iend Unclear Wh partner Phone support, cisns, ocsnal meal 1–2 tim/week 10 years Vanuver 6 M 42 Gay Friend Gay iend Unclear Wh partner Hoehold tasks, phone support 2–3 tim/week 12 years Vanuver 7 F 61 Lbian Partner Partner Unclear Wh partner Hoehold tasks, acpaniment to medil appotments Daily 5 years Vanuver 8 F 57 Heterosexual Sister Lbian sister Unclear Divorced Cleang, okg, phone support Daily when visg 3-week vis Vanuver 9 F 37 Heterosexual Child Lbian mother Unclear Married Cleang, groceri 4–5 tim/week 3 years Vanuver 10 F 68 Lbian Partner Partner In a wheelchair Divorced, wh partner Acpaniment to medil appotments, personal re, anizg other CGs Daily 4 years Halifax 1 F 60 Lbian Partner Partner Bra hemorrhage, aphasia, then slow revery Wh partner Acpaniment to medil appotments, stmental tasks, emotnal support Daily 2 years Halifax 2 F 72 Lbian Partner Partner Breast ncer Wh partner Decisns, acpaniment to medil appotments, emotnal support Daily 13 years InterviewGenrAgeSexual OrientatnRelatnship to CRCRCR's Health StatCG's Relatnship StatForm of CaregivgFrequencyDuratnMontreal 1 M 33 Gay Child Gay father Reverg om stroke Sgle Hospal viss Daily 1 year Montreal 2 M 60+ Gay Partner Partner Unclear Sgle, widow Cookg, cleang, meditn, personal re Daily 6 months Montreal 3 F 61 Heterosexual Neighbor Gay male tenant Confed, lis, arthris, gla, ttal problems Divorced Functnal support, stmental tasks, pannship 3–4 tim/week 8 years Montreal 4 M 52 Gay Partner Partner Disabled a wheelchair; multiple sclerosis Wh partner Cookg, cleang Daily 24 years Montreal 5 F 62 lbian Friend Lbian iend Cancer Sgle Groceri, okg, personal re, meditn 6-hour shifts around the clock 4 months Vanuver 1 F 62 Lbian Partner Partner Unclear Wh partner Hoehold tasks, okg Daily N/A Vanuver 2 M 46 Heterosexual Child Gay father Cancer, then died Sgle Personal re, shoppg, cleang Progrsively more tense to daily 6 years Vanuver 3 F 47 Heterosexual Child Gay father Cancer, then died Divorced Grocery shoppg 1 time/week 5 years Vanuver 4 M 36 Gay Friend Gay iend Unclear Wh partner Instmental tasks, physil needs 1–2 tim/week 10 years Vanuver 5 M 58 Gay Friend Gay iend Unclear Wh partner Phone support, cisns, ocsnal meal 1–2 tim/week 10 years Vanuver 6 M 42 Gay Friend Gay iend Unclear Wh partner Hoehold tasks, phone support 2–3 tim/week 12 years Vanuver 7 F 61 Lbian Partner Partner Unclear Wh partner Hoehold tasks, acpaniment to medil appotments Daily 5 years Vanuver 8 F 57 Heterosexual Sister Lbian sister Unclear Divorced Cleang, okg, phone support Daily when visg 3-week vis Vanuver 9 F 37 Heterosexual Child Lbian mother Unclear Married Cleang, groceri 4–5 tim/week 3 years Vanuver 10 F 68 Lbian Partner Partner In a wheelchair Divorced, wh partner Acpaniment to medil appotments, personal re, anizg other CGs Daily 4 years Halifax 1 F 60 Lbian Partner Partner Bra hemorrhage, aphasia, then slow revery Wh partner Acpaniment to medil appotments, stmental tasks, emotnal support Daily 2 years Halifax 2 F 72 Lbian Partner Partner Breast ncer Wh partner Decisns, acpaniment to medil appotments, emotnal support Daily 13 years Note: CR = re recipient; CG = regiver.