'I don't want to live nyg I'm gay' | Fay | The Guardian

Contents:

• THE HIDN GAY LIV FALLY BEG UNVERED
• C-LIST HOMOPHOBE CANDACE CAMERON BURE HOP NEW GAY-NYG FILM GETS VIEWERS TO “TURN TO J”
• HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY
• THE RIGHTS OF LBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL AND TRANSGENR PEOPLE
• 'I DON'T WANT TO LIVE NYG I'M GAY'
• STAT ACROSS U.S. STILL CLG TO OUTDATED GAY MARRIAGE BANS

THE HIDN GAY LIV FALLY BEG UNVERED

Internalized homophobia n be fed as the tenncy of some lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, and queer (LGBTQ) dividuals to regularly validate, margalize, and/or opprs their own or other LGBTQ members’ sexual orientatn, sexual inty, self-worth, dividual exprsns, and human rights.

C-LIST HOMOPHOBE CANDACE CAMERON BURE HOP NEW GAY-NYG FILM GETS VIEWERS TO “TURN TO J”

Often, those wh gre of ternalized homophobia are nscly or unnscly socialized to believg that members of the LGBTQ muny are “abnormal”, “shameful”, “unsirable” and “unacceptable”, and should be regard wh disda (self-rejectn) and ntempt (self-loathg).

HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY

It is also signifint to note that while some people wh ternalized homophobia are “out of the closet” and openly alg their own sexual orientatn/sexual inty issu, many others are still “ the closet” (to themselv and/or to others) and secretly stgglg.

Many closet LGBTQ dividuals grew-up tradnal, nservative environments where “anti-gay bias” and “gay bashg” are the norm fay, social, tnal, relig, media, social media, and polil environments.

It is a classic example of gaslightg, where a perpetrator ( this se a hetero-centric, homophobic society) nvc the victim that she/he/they are much ls important and worthy than who they tly are. While some LGBTQ dividuals may ocsnally dabble the followg behavrs, which might not be a ser issue, someone wh strong ternalized homophobia will routely engage one or more of the pathologi (dysfunctns) below, while remag largely unaware of (or unncerned wh) the tangible and psychologil damage done to onelf and others.

THE RIGHTS OF LBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL AND TRANSGENR PEOPLE

Some of my iends claims that gay nial is when you know that you are attracted to guys but tell yourself that will disappear by self or that is gross you know what you are but you act like you are straight so you manage to have a gf/be but you don't really love her/him or she/he don't really turns you on and you thk of guys/girls while havg sex until you fally e out of the closet. Yeah I agree I never had feelg for guys ever but recently I started to qutn my sexualy the HARD way (prsn Obssive pulsive disorr ect) I tortur myself and got 5 erectn over gay thoughts 2 months but I feel like changed me like I might be bisexual (my fear beg to lose my heterosexualy bee wh all this sh girls don't aroe Le anymore but is another problems) so I asked myself uld I have been ignorg my bisexualy all my life (never felt aroed by guys until this fear me still not aroed by guys irl but I feel aroed by mcular guys maybe bee I'm a ltle b chubby) and we talked about nial for me a nial is somethg you knew but never or secretly engaged but some of my iend told me that I uld have masked my homosexual si after my 14 years old (I qutned my sexualy bee I was admirg a guy really bad (not love or sexually attracted to him but I wanted him to love me bee he was really ol and I was this ugly nerd.

'I DON'T WANT TO LIVE NYG I'M GAY'

It's not nial or reprsn, 's jt that you never thk about that you might be gay, e there was nothg what "pull the trigger" and you go live your straight life e you're jt directed (by your parents and society) to be straight. The evince was all there, but took me a long time to say, "Hey, wow, I mt be gay, " particularly bee I was actively tryg to nvce myself I was straight and normal, pecially wh homophobic parents.

Takg some time wh the realizatn is normal, to some gree, of urse; realizg you're gay is a b like realizg you need glass, and sce everyone jt assum their visn is normal (sce most people's visn is) n take a while for that thought to really occur to you.

STAT ACROSS U.S. STILL CLG TO OUTDATED GAY MARRIAGE BANS

I didn't get offend too much when/if people lled me gay - partly bee they didn't often do so - but when I was younger, I was ocsnally pretty outspoken (read: I was a very child) about potg out gay upl or nouncg gays some pacy nversatn ("they're WEIRD, but hey, as long as one of them don't make out wh me, that's okay... To the gree that I did ll out gays, I thk was to some gree mirrorg my father, who said the same thgs (which of urse didn't make any more jtified for me to pot out gays); however, I was also a lot more sktish on the topic, and quick to make clear that I didn't advote homosexualy, bee, I thk, I subnscly felt I was/might be/uld seem gay, and was guilty about that.

In short, beg nial n e across outwardly as someone who's homophobic, but realy they're sayg those thgs part (if not primarily) to quell their own doubts, fears and spicns about their own sexualy.

A person who feels nied attractn will also feel unpleasant and exprs loudly when they see a gay uple of their own sex, or will be unfortable wh people of their own sex, of whom they know are gay/bi.