'I don't want to live nyg I'm gay' | Fay | The Guardian

gay denying

"Sometim people are threatened by gays and lbians bee they are fearg their own impuls," study thor said

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THE HIDN GAY LIV FALLY BEG UNVERED

Internalized homophobia n be fed as the tenncy of some lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, and queer (LGBTQ) dividuals to regularly validate, margalize, and/or opprs their own or other LGBTQ members’ sexual orientatn, sexual inty, self-worth, dividual exprsns, and human rights. Often, those wh gre of ternalized homophobia are nscly or unnscly socialized to believg that members of the LGBTQ muny are “abnormal”, “shameful”, “unsirable” and “unacceptable”, and should be regard wh disda (self-rejectn) and ntempt (self-loathg). It is also signifint to note that while some people wh ternalized homophobia are “out of the closet” and openly alg their own sexual orientatn/sexual inty issu, many others are still “ the closet” (to themselv and/or to others) and secretly stgglg.

Many closet LGBTQ dividuals grew-up tradnal, nservative environments where “anti-gay bias” and “gay bashg” are the norm fay, social, tnal, relig, media, social media, and polil environments. It is a classic example of gaslightg, where a perpetrator ( this se a hetero-centric, homophobic society) nvc the victim that she/he/they are much ls important and worthy than who they tly are.

While some LGBTQ dividuals may ocsnally dabble the followg behavrs, which might not be a ser issue, someone wh strong ternalized homophobia will routely engage one or more of the pathologi (dysfunctns) below, while remag largely unaware of (or unncerned wh) the tangible and psychologil damage done to onelf and others. Some of my iends claims that gay nial is when you know that you are attracted to guys but tell yourself that will disappear by self or that is gross you know what you are but you act like you are straight so you manage to have a gf/be but you don't really love her/him or she/he don't really turns you on and you thk of guys/girls while havg sex until you fally e out of the closet. Yeah I agree I never had feelg for guys ever but recently I started to qutn my sexualy the HARD way (prsn Obssive pulsive disorr ect) I tortur myself and got 5 erectn over gay thoughts 2 months but I feel like changed me like I might be bisexual (my fear beg to lose my heterosexualy bee wh all this sh girls don't aroe Le anymore but is another problems) so I asked myself uld I have been ignorg my bisexualy all my life (never felt aroed by guys until this fear me still not aroed by guys irl but I feel aroed by mcular guys maybe bee I'm a ltle b chubby) and we talked about nial for me a nial is somethg you knew but never or secretly engaged but some of my iend told me that I uld have masked my homosexual si after my 14 years old (I qutned my sexualy bee I was admirg a guy really bad (not love or sexually attracted to him but I wanted him to love me bee he was really ol and I was this ugly nerd.

C-LIST HOMOPHOBE CANDACE CAMERON BURE HOP NEW GAY-NYG FILM GETS VIEWERS TO “TURN TO J”

It's not nial or reprsn, 's jt that you never thk about that you might be gay, e there was nothg what "pull the trigger" and you go live your straight life e you're jt directed (by your parents and society) to be straight. The evince was all there, but took me a long time to say, "Hey, wow, I mt be gay, " particularly bee I was actively tryg to nvce myself I was straight and normal, pecially wh homophobic parents. Takg some time wh the realizatn is normal, to some gree, of urse; realizg you're gay is a b like realizg you need glass, and sce everyone jt assum their visn is normal (sce most people's visn is) n take a while for that thought to really occur to you.

I didn't get offend too much when/if people lled me gay - partly bee they didn't often do so - but when I was younger, I was ocsnally pretty outspoken (read: I was a very child) about potg out gay upl or nouncg gays some pacy nversatn ("they're WEIRD, but hey, as long as one of them don't make out wh me, that's okay...

HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY

To the gree that I did ll out gays, I thk was to some gree mirrorg my father, who said the same thgs (which of urse didn't make any more jtified for me to pot out gays); however, I was also a lot more sktish on the topic, and quick to make clear that I didn't advote homosexualy, bee, I thk, I subnscly felt I was/might be/uld seem gay, and was guilty about that. In short, beg nial n e across outwardly as someone who's homophobic, but realy they're sayg those thgs part (if not primarily) to quell their own doubts, fears and spicns about their own sexualy. A person who feels nied attractn will also feel unpleasant and exprs loudly when they see a gay uple of their own sex, or will be unfortable wh people of their own sex, of whom they know are gay/bi.

This page provis accurate rmatn for those who want to better unrstand sexual orientatn and the impact of prejudice and discrimatn on those who intify as lbian, gay, or bisexual.

Public opn studi over the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s routely showed that, among large segments of the public, lbian, gay, and bisexual people were the target of strongly held negative attus. The associatn of HIV/AIDS wh gay and bisexual men and the accurate belief that some people held that all gay and bisexual men were fected served to further stigmatize lbian, gay, and bisexual people.

THE RIGHTS OF LBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL AND TRANSGENR PEOPLE

On an dividual level, such prejudice and discrimatn may also have negative nsequenc, pecially if lbian, gay, and bisexual people attempt to nceal or ny their sexual orientatn. Dpe the persistence of stereotyp that portray lbian, gay, and bisexual people as disturbed, several s of rearch and clil experience have led all mastream medil and mental health anizatns this untry to nclu that the orientatns reprent normal forms of human experience.

Helpful rpons of a therapist treatg an dividual who is troubled about her or his same sex attractns clu helpg that person actively pe wh social prejudic agast homosexualy, succsfully rolve issu associated wh and rultg om ternal nflicts, and actively lead a happy and satisfyg life. The phrase “g out” is ed to refer to several aspects of lbian, gay, and bisexual persons’ experienc: self-awarens of same-sex attractns; the tellg of one or a few people about the attractns; wispread disclosure of same-sex attractns; and intifitn wh the lbian, gay, and bisexual muny.

Th, is not surprisg that lbians and gay men who feel they mt nceal their sexual orientatn report more equent mental health ncerns than do lbians and gay men who are more open; they may even have more physil health problems. Lbian, gay, and bisexual youth who do well spe strs—like all adolcents who do well spe strs—tend to be those who are socially petent, who have good problem-solvg skills, who have a sense of tonomy and purpose, and who look forward to the future. If they are a heterosexual relatnship, their experienc may be que siar to those of people who intify as heterosexual unls they choose to e out as bisexual; that se, they will likely face some of the same prejudice and discrimatn that lbian and gay dividuals enunter.

'I DON'T WANT TO LIVE NYG I'M GAY'

Although parable data are not available, many sgle lbians and gay men are also parents, and many same-sex upl are part-time parents to children whose primary rince is elsewhere. For example, are the children of lbian or gay parents more vulnerable to mental breakdown, do they have more behavr problems, or are they ls psychologilly healthy than other children?

The picture that emerg om this rearch shows that children of gay and lbian parents enjoy a social life that is typil of their age group terms of volvement wh peers, parents, fay members, and iends. There is no scientific support for fears about children of lbian or gay parents beg sexually abed by their parents or their parents’ gay, lbian, or bisexual iends or acquatanc. In summary, social science has shown that the ncerns often raised about children of lbian and gay parents, ncerns that are generally ground prejudice agast and stereotyp about gay people, are unfound.

Overall, the rearch dit that the children of lbian and gay parents do not differ markedly om the children of heterosexual parents their velopment, adjtment, or overall well-beg.

STAT ACROSS U.S. STILL CLG TO OUTDATED GAY MARRIAGE BANS

Lbian, gay, and bisexual people who want to help rce prejudice and discrimatn n be open about their sexual orientatn, even as they take necsary preutns to be as safe as possible. When lbians, gay men, and bisexual people feel ee to make public their sexual orientatn, heterosexuals are given an opportuny to have personal ntact wh openly gay people and to perceive them as dividuals.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* GAY DENYING

C-List homophobe Candace Cameron Bure hop new gay-nyg film gets viewers to "turn to J" - Queerty .

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