A Gay Gui to Pickg Up the Hot Guy at the Bar | GQ

Contents:

• UNSEEN, PART 3: POPULAR GAY DATG APP GRDR POS EXPLOATN RISK TO MORS
• A GAY GUI TO PICKG UP THE HOT GUY AT THE BAR
• GAYT PLAC IN CONNECTICUT FOR 2020
• THE TOP LGBTQ+ DATG S AND APPS: 14 BT GAY DATG S
• OUT THE SUN: FLORIDA’S TOP 10 GAY BEACH
• STEP-BY-STEP INSTCTNS FOR SHOOTG YOUR SHOT WH GAY GUYS
• ONLY LADS : EE GAY DATG & GAY CHAT SOCIAL WORK

UNSEEN, PART 3: POPULAR GAY DATG APP GRDR POS EXPLOATN RISK TO MORS

At tim, many gay men feel as though they're the only on experiencg certa thoughts and feelgs, on that society still often ems abnormal.

A GAY GUI TO PICKG UP THE HOT GUY AT THE BAR

So when a gay man first bonds wh someone else who intifi as gay or queer, 's evably a total lightng bolt moment.

One's first LGBTQ iendship is often super-tense; fact, that person n bee jt as important as a first romantic partner.I'm no longer close wh my first gay iend, Jam, bee we're very different people now.

GAYT PLAC IN CONNECTICUT FOR 2020

But I still remember clumsily g out to him after a Le Tigre ncert and him sayg, "I thk I'm gay, too." In the months that followed, we weren't always as kd to one another as we should have been, but we absolutely helped each other to accept our sexualy.

Here, their own words, are three men's stori of their first queer iendships.Josh, on AlexWhen I first saw Alex the smokg area at my new llege, I was like, "Oh my God, who is that?" He was hot—I thk everyone thought so—but I didn't thk he was gay. He didn't still a sense of ternalized homophobia me, which was important bee I was a mpy gay guy who'd always been teased for beg mpy.

After three s of not feelg like I f anywhere, this ltle moment of acknowledgement om another LGBTQ person meant a lot.Sce then I've met other bi people at Pri events, but Charlie's still my clost "queer peer." He gave me the permissn to be myself when I didn't even know who that was.Bill, on DeanI grew up a small nservative town and didn't know anyone gay at school, so I met my first gay iends through social media. German Chavez was 14 years old when he first started g a gay datg app lled Grdr to fd adult men to pay him for need to help his troubled sgle mother pay the bills, he said, and had no trouble fdg men to purchase him on the popular lotn-based mobile 25 and years away om the sex tra, Chavez is warng other mors to stay away om Grdr, one of the most popular apps the untry for gay and bisexual men. The pany touts s mobile platform as “The World’s Largt Social Networkg App for Gay, Bi, Trans and Queer People” and says s ers have to be 18 years old and the app is teemg wh unrage gay, bisexual and qutng boys, acrdg to rearchers, child exploatn specialists and ers like Chavez who say they n easily lie about their age to ga accs to the LGBTQ teens are seekg nnectn a world that provis few safe spac, rearchers say.

THE TOP LGBTQ+ DATG S AND APPS: 14 BT GAY DATG S

More than half of sexually active gay and bisexual boys between the ag of 14 and 17 fd sexual partners on Grdr and other siar apps, acrdg to a 2018 study by Northwtern Universy rearchers. Turban recently -published an article the Journal of the Amerin Amy of Child and Adolcent Psychiatry timatg that about one quarter of all gay and bisexual adolcent mal are g Grdr and siar apps — likely hundreds of thoands of youth natnwi. He’s seen gay teens end up at an emergency room Boston — where he worked until last year — crisis after beg sexually exploed by men they met on Grdr yet too ashamed to seek help om other adults.

He says he has received some phback om members of the gay muny about his foc on Grdr, when there are so many s targetg children.

There’s a history of anti-gay propaganda patg gay men as pedophil, he said, when there is no rearch to show they are more likely to be predators than others.

OUT THE SUN: FLORIDA’S TOP 10 GAY BEACH

But Turban says homophobia is also to blame for why LGBTQ youth have so few outlets to fd timacy and also why their victimizatn is so seldom talked about. He says clicians and fay members should do more to talk to gay youth about the health and safety risks of datg apps. Bradley Tyrrell, 35, of Newton says the app is a “double-edged sword” — a place to meet gay men but also wh many unknowns.

Kathryn Mapagal, a rearch profsor at Northwtern Universy, says she first asked teens about hook-up apps 2016 when she was preparg a sex tn program for gay and bisexual boys. Her team nducted more surveys to talk about why they get on the apps — often gay and qutng teens lookg for muny a world that don’t wele them.

Chavez says he first turned to Grdr middle school hopg to learn om others about what means to be gay, qutns he uldn’t answer at home.

STEP-BY-STEP INSTCTNS FOR SHOOTG YOUR SHOT WH GAY GUYS

“Jt bee I was troduced to this one guy who probably isn’t gay and jt is a pedophile, like, don’t mean that that’s how the muny is, ” he said.

“That’s the sry part about Grdr, that n be, like, lerally a guy who don’t intify as gay and jt lik kids. "That’s the sry part about Grdr, that n be, like, lerally a guy who don’t intify as gay and jt lik kids.

ONLY LADS : EE GAY DATG & GAY CHAT SOCIAL WORK

“When you’re alg wh the vulnerabili of somebody who’s gay and who's velopg our society, ’s tenfold more difficult and more imprsnable, ’’ she said. Kimberly Nelson, a profsor of Communy Health Scienc at the Boston Universy School of Public Health, says s natural for gay teens to head to Grdr to explore their sexualy.

”Chris Bat, a Worcter-based traffickg survivor and advote, wish he had been given more warngs about sex traffickg school when he was gay youth livg ral Connecticut. Perhaps watchg Queer as Folk when I was a young and imprsnable teenager wasn’t the bt gge of accuracy for how venturg out onto the gay scene would be. Admtedly, before the advent of hookup apps, when I was a baby gay first on the scene, thgs were a ltle like that, jt whout the great lightg, flatterg mera angl, and wasn’t beg broadst on Showtime.

Not only are gay bars and clubs crisis, closg left, right, and center, but the art of hookg up has dimished.