<p>Gay men are four tim more likely to suffer om prsn than straight men. The reason? Acrdg to therapist Alan Downs, 's a toxic cktail of anger and rejectn, which he lls "velvet rage". Here, he discs his ntroversial self-help manual – pl, startg right, we hear five very personal "g out" stori</p>
Contents:
- GAY RAGE
- GAY ANGER
- ‘RIGHTEO ANGER WAS A PART OF ’: THE SHOCKG STORY OF NEW YORK’S GAY BAR KILLER
- AN UNLIKELY MARTYR FOC GAY ANGER
- ANGERS GAY SNAS
- 'AS A BLACK, GAY PHYSICIAN, I'VE SURVIVED IN AMERI BY EMBRACG MY ANGER'
- KENH ANGER, TRAILBLAZG GAY FILMMAKER AND HOLLYWOOD BABYLON THOR, DI AT 96
- PRI AND PREJUDICE FOR GAY MEN
- KENH ANGER, GAY FILM PNEER AND UNRELIABLE HOLLYWOOD CHRONICLER, DI AT 96
- AGGRSN TOWARD GAY MEN AS GENR ROLE ENFORCEMENT: EFFECTS OF MALE ROLE NORMS, SEXUAL PREJUDICE, AND MASCULE GENR ROLE STRS
- GAY RAGE
- BEHIND THE GAY ANGER THERE IS OFTEN DEEP PAIN
- BEHD THE GAY ANGER THERE IS OFTEN DEEP PA
GAY RAGE
WILL GAY ANGER survive assiatn? You might want to kick my ass for askg such a stupid qutn. Dpe the mise of ACT UP and Queer Natn, anger remas an emotn to which all sentient queers n relate. The flh of fury that strik fledglg fags and dyk when they realize that the judgments they've been wrhg beneath are bullsh is a powerful force. Image a street packed wh nocent cizens newly spng om jail--basilly,... * gay anger *
The act of excsively partyg one's garageCAUTION: while gay ragg, others around you may bee unfortable to the pot of ignorg you pletelyWe were gay ragg to the song "Baby" last night. Such adly pairg is particularly worrisome given that crim, such as asslt and/or murr mted a gay-rage ually reveal a gory and vlent nontatn above normal levels (i.
GAY ANGER
In the doceri Last Call, the story of a killer stalkg the cy’s gay bars be an dictment of a system that let him get away wh * gay anger *
"We were at the bar when my iend said faggot too loud, then this shemale turned green wh the gay-rage and I woke up the hospal wh a broken nose and a torn asshole. But nsir my posn: As someone om “the Rabow State” (Hawaii) who is now the edor--chief of this gay se, I have always been surround by rabows and expected to not only embrace them, but have them on my driver’s license, my cloth, all manner of accsori, and pecially my Zoom background durg every panel I do.
‘RIGHTEO ANGER WAS A PART OF ’: THE SHOCKG STORY OF NEW YORK’S GAY BAR KILLER
Why are many gays so angry? Why n't they jt civilly and telligently make their se? First of all, I would suggt not tryg to talk gays out of their anger. Y, if their anger spills over to vlence, they should be alt wh like any other cizen whose anger spills over to vlence ...… * gay anger *
I love the artists as much as the next queer, but there’s somethg irratg about the obssn wh rercg the “gayns” of the party by playg so-lled “gay anthems. — Cáne LópezPraisg Straight People as “Gay Ins”I mean, I get , but now that we’re movg to a time when more and more celebri are out, let’s retire the need to praise straight women for makg mic to bump gay bars.
Sometim cishet women’s relatnship to queerns n be toxic and jt downright weird — you know, “the gays love me” kd of women — and I feel like the “in” label fuels that fire.
But I have also noticed that the Venn diagram of people who are nstantly sayg “be gay do crime” and people who would ll the ps on a shirtls guy a pup hood at Pri is almost variably a perfect circle. "Of urse, if John actually knew what I believed, he would know that I've said many tim that, the ey of gay activists, this is a stggle for eedom and equaly and rpect and that, while differg eply wh LGBT goals, I unrstand their would also know that I've said untls tim that some of the nict people you'll ever meet or work wh intify as he would know that I tell parents whose kids e out as gay to show those kids unndnal love, even while makg clear that they will not promise biblil standards and tths. "Aga, wild exaggeratns (although, on average, gays and bisexuals, pecially mal are more promiscuo than heterosexuals, but this certaly do not scribe every gay man or woman) then this: "I live my life day to day alg wh people like you.
AN UNLIKELY MARTYR FOC GAY ANGER
Angers Gay Sna Gui. Fd the bt gay snas Angers, France. Exclive reviews, addrs, maps, rmatn for gay travelers. * gay anger *
"This is why he lled me a monster and a mon and a actually thought that I ndoned vlence agast gays (nothg uld be further om the tth), and that I would mend those who beat up a gay man or dragged him om a vehicle. Ultimately, we had to block him om our Facebook page bee he vlated our guil (g profany and wishg for vlence agast others), wh posts to others like the: "A man who supports the Kill the Gays movement however, like Dr. The pa is ragg through his urse, I have no way to verify his story, but even if is embellished, is reprentative: Many who intify as LGBT and spew venom agast Christians, agast God, and agast the Bible have been wound by profsg Christians – by their words, their attus, and their while people like John are rponsible for their ultimate cisns, we do well to remember that behd the anger there is often pa, and if we rpond to the anger and ignore the pa, we will not be able to help them fd wholens the early 2005, I have sought to live by the dictum of "Reach out and rist, " meang, reach out to LGBT's wh passn; rist the LGBT agenda wh as much as I am hated and vilified by many LGBT lears, brand one of the natn's most vic homophob (among a multu of other ephets, many too rancid to repeat), my heart ntu to go out to them, longg for their repentance, longg for them to enunter the Father's love, and longg to see them e to the fullns of God's plan for their the love of God touch John, and may he e to know the Father he now not offer up a prayer on his behalf?
Image a street packed wh nocent cizens newly spng om jail--basilly, 10 blocks of gay Rben Carters--and you've got an ia what a jt-out queer's first pri para is like. In the wake of recent progrs--the victory Vermont, wispread same-sex partner benefs, the succs of Will & Grace--many "gay muny" members, particularly middle-e whe on, have relaxed to the apathy that is perhaps the te goal of every equaly movement.
ANGERS GAY SNAS
After matriculatg to medil school the fall of 2013, I was drowng. It seemed that who I was—a Black, gay man—uld not exist wh the medil system. * gay anger *
The anger behd the first brick hucked durg Stonewall (the gay movement's Big Bang) and the AIDS-war protts of ACT UP (the most imagative displays of rage ever to occur this untry) has given way to more dividual and nuanced rpons as we gays atta a number of prevly unimagable goals. Remember watchg the stunng wartime valy of ACT UP--who ma headl by tossg rps of PWAs on the Whe Hoe lawn--morph to the nfed and nnibalistic activi of send-wave prott group Queer Natn, bt known for outg celebri and stagg homosexual kiss-s ont of Foot Locker?
When satisfactory external enemi failed to materialize, the Queers turned on themselv, and othy homo kiss-s gave way to labor, and eventually fatal, bicker-fts over polilly rrect mutia.
So long as people revile, persecute, and say all manner of evil agast falsely, so long as policians attack and entertament moguls st as wacky neighbors and sexls dweebs, gay people have every right to be pissed. Still, a hunger for articulate gay anger exists--wns the passnate receptn given to Sharon Unrwood, the angry middle-aged mother of a gay son, whose eloquently ass-rippg "open letter" to Vermont bigots ma the gay e-mail rounds faster than that Photoshopped image of Mark Wahlberg fistg Tom Cise.
'AS A BLACK, GAY PHYSICIAN, I'VE SURVIVED IN AMERI BY EMBRACG MY ANGER'
* gay anger *
Reverend Mel Whe is currently the very gay -founr and leadg light of Soulforce, an activist anizatn voted to seekg jtice for sexual mori through "relentls non-vlent ristance the spir of Gandhi and Mart Luther Kg. " So far, Soulforce's primary missn has been a four-year effort to end sexual discrimatn by the Uned Methodist Church, a missn that began wh a seri of open letters om Whe to Falwell, refully and lmly chroniclg Falwell's s of hate directed at homosexuals.
The passn, wisdom, and persistence displayed Mel Whe's open letters and much of Soulforce's lerature is stunng, and may pot to what might be the only way out of the impasse which "gay anger" fans fd themselv the assiatg tim. ”It’s a grim picture by self but that era also saw another threat enter the ame, quietly and gomely pickg off gay men already livg on a knife’s Last Call killer, as the media me to ll him, mostly found his victims the one place his victims ed as safe refuge: gay bars. ” Photograph: HBOWhile the thori dragged their feet, missg important leads and claimg ignorance over how to handle the se (“I don’t know about where all the gay bars are New York Cy, ” one says, a sense of rigid mascule pri unrlyg) and the media chose to eher ignore or salacly explo, was left up to the same activists who had helped the muny through the early stag of the HIV epimic and ntued to protect them om other forc to do the work.
KENH ANGER, TRAILBLAZG GAY FILMMAKER AND HOLLYWOOD BABYLON THOR, DI AT 96
“We’re hearg the same thgs over and over aga by Ron DeSantis, ” Caronna says, parg the rhetoric of now to that of before, phed by the hateful sger turned vol homophobe Ana Bryant, clud the seri. “It’s this legacy of homophobia that’s still very prent and then we get people like Tmp who stoke the flam of homophobia bee they know ’s a wedge issue, bee they know that their fanbase will love if they e after trans people or they e after gay people. ”Last year also saw a story that chillgly mirrored elements of the Last Call killer’s se, wh a spate of men targeted at New York gay bars before beg murred.
”But what Last Call also do is show the undyg importance of the gay bar, even to those who might not unrstand s need (straight lleagu and iends have asked me why gay bars still exist when “Every bar is a gay bar now” and siarly, madngly, “Is g out even a thg anymore? When Matt [Foreman] said I don’t thk straight people unrstand what ’s like to walk to a gay bar, we were like we need to put this le bee actually is a good way of amg . Ocsnally the digizatn procs troduc transcriptn errors or other problems; we are ntug to work to improve the archived Rivera, his iends say, was the most improbable gay martyr -- a Hispanic dg er om Queens who lived on the far g of gay the stabbg ath of this 29-year-old man July 1990 has served to rally gay people throughout New York Cy.
"It took Jul's ath to really galvanize the gay muny, " said Alan Sack, 39, an terr signer who scribed urt last week how his iend bled to ath his arms a Queens schoolyard.
PRI AND PREJUDICE FOR GAY MEN
" 'You Exist'The alliance of gay people that has veloped around the Rivera se has worked to foc public attentn on the latg vlence agast gay people throughout the cy. "For gay advot, the trial of two men charged the slayg has bee the gay equivalent of the Howard Beach se, which a black man was chased to his ath by a group of wh. That se beme a rallyg pot for many blacks New York; gay rights groups who fought for a year to have the Rivera killg classified as a bias crime say the trial is siar watershed the liv of the cy's homosexuals.
"This is the first time there is a clear-cut example of how gay bashg works, " said Ed Serbm, anizer of Queens Gays and Lbians Rivera, who prosecutors say was stabbed and beaten by three men lookg for a gay man to attack, was one of two gay men killed 1990 what the police labeled bias cints.
Rivera's se is also the first such homici to e to trial New York State, said Matt Foreman, executive director of the New York Cy Gay and Lbian Anti-Vlence Project said. Foreman said that 511 gay and lbian bias-related crim were reported to his group through October of this year, pared wh 223 1989, a 129 percent crease.
KENH ANGER, GAY FILM PNEER AND UNRELIABLE HOLLYWOOD CHRONICLER, DI AT 96
He said 74 gay bias cints were reported to the Bias Un 1991 through October and 96 cints 1990, followg a 115 percent creas such s between 1989 and 1990. Gay rints here are mostly workg class and olr people, many of whom live there for the lower rents and the more suburban ma issue among homosexuals here has always been privacy, and few Jackson Heights rints belonged to or approved of more radil movements like Queer Natn or Act are reticent out of choice, some out of anxiety, gay advot say. Rivera had moved to Jackson Heights 10 years ago and had shared ho wh a variety of while his life style did not f wh the image that many gay rints of Jackson Heights seek for their muny, he had a wi range of iends, Mr.
Sack have formed yet another anizatn Queens lled Queens Gay and Lbians Uned that held s fourth meetg this week and is gettg volved muny movement has also gone beyond the issue of anti-gay vlence, to broad qutns of social acceptance and specific programs like a Meals-on-Wheels project for homebound AIDS patients. Acrdg to a 2014 study om Bradley Goodnight and lleagu at Geia State Universy, different dimensns of masculy are predictive of right-wg thorarian attus and anti-gay anger. Participants who valued toughns and had anti-feme attus were more aggrsive toward their opponent when they were (a) toxited and (b) believed their opponent was gay bee of rmatn they had received about him earlier.
Gays are basilly angry bee of the fact that they end up “gay” and they are angry at who ed them to end up this ndn (a ndn that the Amerin Psychiatric Associatn up until 1972 lled a psychologil disease). My suggtn to someone who is havg a problem wh homosexualy would be to do a web search for the many anizatns and books by ex gays that offer help wh this.
AGGRSN TOWARD GAY MEN AS GENR ROLE ENFORCEMENT: EFFECTS OF MALE ROLE NORMS, SEXUAL PREJUDICE, AND MASCULE GENR ROLE STRS
Don’t brand yourself as “gay”, but rather, see yourself as jt a person who is havg a problem wh somethg life (which is the se for most people on some level), and know that there is a solutn to your problem. It might feel good to “belong” to a movement, or might feel good to fd “acceptance” at a lol gay bar, but a big issue then be: are you fdg acceptance by God your heart? Posted Conservative, Polics, Relign | Tags: Angry gays, gay marriage, gay supporters, homosexual anger, homosexual cure, Proposn 8, the meang of life, The Plague Of Liberalism, Why Are We Here?
GAY RAGE
Tmp, is the angrit om a large field of angry of his supporters seem angry about so many thgs — a black print, their lot life, not gettg their piece of the Amerin dream or havg to share that Amerin dream wh people of lor, women, gay, lbian and transgenr people. The challenge is knowg the difference between eful anger, the kd that n stir revolutns, and the els kd that n tear Gay is an associate profsor at Purdue Universy, the thor of “Bad Femist” and the forthg “Hunger, ” and a ntributg opn wrer.
I'm also remd of my relatnship wh anger as a Black, gay male livg Ameri; a untry where righteo anger as a morized person n lead to your ath; a untry where simply beg born Black, simply existg wh the "wrong" sk lor n mean you don't make to, that onle msage wasn't the last time I was lled the n-word high school. It felt like high school all over aga and seemed that who I was—a Black, gay man—uld not exist wh the medil were my classmat allowed to e discrimatory words, but the send I lmly spoke up for myself or others, ed "ictn"? He me to awarens about his sexualy at a time when homosexual acts were still illegal the Uned Stat, which eventually led to him movg out of his parents' home and renamg himself Anger.
Anger began makg movi as a teenager, and his earlit survivg piece is 1947's Fireworks, a homoerotic short film which a dreamer (played by Anger) is acsted by navy sailors amidst phallic symbolism.
BEHIND THE GAY ANGER THERE IS OFTEN DEEP PAIN
Downs is at the heart of LA’s gay muny, yet the book that has ma his name pletely reasss the morn gay experience, holdg up an unsparg mirror to ’s spry self-help manual is lled The Velvet Rage: Overg the Pa of Growg Up Gay a Straight Man’s World. It is beg a touchstone gay culture jt as Christopher Isherwood’s Goodbye to Berl was the 30s, Larry Kramer’s Faggots the 70s and Edmund Whe’s A Boy’s Own Story the 80s. But The Velvet Rage is not fictn: addrs the myth of gay pri and, after three s of post-Aids ncentratn on gay men’s physil health, turns ward to their mental snappy tle is slippg, sometim ironilly, to the gay lexin.
”Downs ed the phrase to refer to a very specific anger he enuntered his gay patients – whether was manifted dg abe, promiscuy or alholism – and whose roots, the book argu, are found childhood shame and parental rejectn. “Velvet rage is the ep and abidg anger that rults om growg up an environment when I learn that who I am as a gay person is unacceptable, perhaps even unlovable, ” he explas.
BEHD THE GAY ANGER THERE IS OFTEN DEEP PA
Wey took the book home and beme one of The Velvet Rage’s first and most powerful ’s argument is that feelgs of worthlsns n be created childhood que untentnally, and the lead gay adults to search for an unachievable perfectn. ”Ls problematic gay issu, but on that stck a ep chord wh me, clu the unually sophistited knowledge of superficial cultur – pop mic, fashn or film, for example – among many gay men.
”All the rage: Author and therapist Alan Velvet Rage also als wh prsn, self-harm and suici, body dysmorphia and eatg disorrs – four tim as likely gay men as their straight unterparts.
”By puttg the more celebrated, creative aspects of gay culture the spotlight, and suggtg that beneath them lurk ser psychologil issu, the book has ed a stir, and Downs himself has drawn cricism. ”Everyone WHO I speak to about Velvet Rage sists is important to remember, amid the hype around the book, that, as Franks puts : “Many gay men are able to grow up and have happy, succsful adult liv wh meangful relatnships, iendships and sex. “What they found was that lbian and gay people were up to two-and-a-half tim more likely to bee alhol or dg pennt, over two-and-a-half tim more likely to suffer om anxiety or prsn disorrs.