Is Your Man Gay, Straight, or Bisexual? | Psychology Today

Contents:

• HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?
• I’VE INTIFIED AS GAY FOR YEARS. NOT ANYMORE.
• AM I GAY?
• I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?
• HOW DO I KNOW I'M NOT REALLY GAY?: OCD AND SEXUAL INTY OBSSNS
• HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY
• IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?
• HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY
• HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM GAY? SIGNS YOU ARE GAY
• WHY ARE PEOPLE GAY? GAY BY CHOICE OR IS BEG GAY GEIC?
• 10 ANTI-GAY MYTHS DEBUNKED

HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?

” Some people’s doubts are further plited by havg such experienc as hearg other people talkg or lookg their directn and thkg that the people mt be analyzg their behavr or appearance and talkg about them – discsg how they mt be gay (or straight).

I have sometim wonred if those who experience the most distrs om such thoughts as the do so bee they were raised wh more strongly homophobic or anti-gay attus to beg wh, or if is simply bee one’s sexualy n be such a basic doubt.

The flip si of this is when they look at thgs havg to do wh sex of an oppose orientatn and then feel aroed some way, which they then nclu to mean that they liked , which means that they are gay (or straight). Makg a seri of three-mute tap that based on the wrgs gradually suggt more and more that you are gay, and listeng to them several tim a day changg them when they no longer bother you). Cred: Getty ImagHomophob should nsir a ltle self-reflectn, suggts a new study fdg those dividuals who are most hostile toward gays and hold strong anti-gay views may themselv have same-sex sir, albe unrver on.

I’VE INTIFIED AS GAY FOR YEARS. NOT ANYMORE.

The rearch, published the April 2012 issue of the Journal of Personaly and Social Psychology, reveals the nuanc of prejudic like homophobia, which n ultimately have dire nsequenc.

" To gge homophobia a hoehold, stunts rpond to ems such as, "It would be upsettg for my mom to fd out she was alone wh a lbian" or "My dad avoids gay men whenever possible. Participants dited their own level of homophobia, both overt and implic; word-pletn tasks, stunts wrote down the first three words that me to md when prompted wh some of the words' letters. "In a predomately heterosexual society, 'know thyself' n be a challenge for many gay dividuals, " lead thor Netta Weste, a lecturer at the Universy of Essex the Uned Kgdom, said a statement.

Those participants who reported their heterosexualy spe havg hidn same-sex sir were also the most likely to show hostily toward gay dividuals, cludg self-reported anti-gay attus, endorsement of anti-gay polici and discrimatn such as supportg harsher punishments for homosexuals. And 2010, proment anti-gay activist and -founr of nservative Fay Rearch Council Gee Rekers was reportedly spotted 2010 wh a male rt rented om Acrdg to news reports, the rt nfirmed Rekers is gay. Yet when the men were forced to choose between straight, bisexual or gay, about three-quarters marked straight bee for them bisexual, even if is unrstood as “bisexual-leang straight, ” is too gay to accurately scribe their inty.

AM I GAY?

In 1993, a study published the journal Science showed that fai wh two homosexual brothers were very likely to have certa geic markers on a regn of the X chromosome known as Xq28.

I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?

In 1991, a study published the journal Science seemed to show that the hypothalam, which ntrols the release of sex hormon om the puary gland, gay men differs om the hypothalam straight men. PET and MRI studi performed 2008 have shown that the two halv of the bra are more symmetril homosexual men and heterosexual women than heterosexual men and homosexual women.

The studi have also revealed that nnectns the amygdalas of gay men remble those of straight women; gay women, nnectns the amygdala remble those of straight men. Today, however, we know much more about the bra than we did when homosexualy was nsired a disease that required treatment, and the amount of knowledge that we have about the bra is creasg.

HOW DO I KNOW I'M NOT REALLY GAY?: OCD AND SEXUAL INTY OBSSNS

If we fe beg gay as engagg homosexual behavr (the ncept of “gay” as an inty is a Wtern cultural ncept – people who have sex wh both men and women may ll themselv gay, straight or bisexual, pendg on the l of their culture or subculture), then people stop beg gay as soon as they stop engagg this behavr. I believe that people have the right to engage any behavr that they choose, as long as their actns do not harm others, and I believe that gay sex and gay relatnships do not e harm to anyone.

(Of urse, there are abive and unhealthy gay relatnships that should not be tolerated, jt as there are unhealthy heterosexual relatnships that should not be tolerated. If sexual preference n be altered, then people who support gay rights n’t rely on the argument that gay people should be protected om discrimatn bee gay people have no choice but to be gay – an argument that seems like an apology for homosexualy, as if homosexualy is a disease for which there is no cure. Jt as gay people who are happy as they are should not be forced to change their sexual orientatn, gay people who want to be straight should have the right to change if they n – and the rrect word is “change” – not “cure”.

Photo creds: Vanuver Gay Pri Para 2008 by edallaluna on Wikimedia Commons; DNA by ynse on Wikimedia Commons; Bra fMRI by views exprsed are those of the thor(s) and are not necsarily those of Scientific Amerin. Gay - While this adjective has historilly scribed men who are attracted to other men, the term now is ed to refer to anyone who experienc romantic, emotnal, or physil attractn to people of the same genr.

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY

When we talk about treatg the thoughts, we are only referrg to workg wh those who tly are heterosexual and who only obss about beg orr to have such a thought, a sufferer need not ever have had a homosexual experience, or even any sexual experience at all. I have sometim wonred if those who experience the most distrs om such thoughts as the do so bee they were raised wh more strongly homophobic or anti-gay attus to beg wh, or if is simply bee qutng one's own sexualy n be such a basic doubt. Not drsg ways that would make one look effemate (if a man) or mascule (if a woman) talkg about gay issu or subjects wh wh other typ of OCD, there is no magil or stant "cure" for the thoughts.

You may still get the thoughts here and there, but you will no longer feel that you mt react to them, and you will be able to let them typil Exposure therapy homework assignments I have assigned to people are highlighted below (please note that the are no special orr):Readg books by or about gay persons. Makg a seri of two-mute d rerdgs that, based on the wrgs, gradually suggt more and more that you are gay, and listeng to them several tim a day (changg them when they no longer bother you). Sometim a woman may have been a heterosexual relatnship for years and yet feel somethg is somehow "off;" and she may fd herself askg, "Is my hband gay?" Many women fd this qutn unthkable but acrdg to Bonnie Kaye, M.ED., an expert women married to gay men, is timated that 4 ln women have been, or are, married to gay men.

If you have had romantic experienc or fantasi volvg people who are the same genr as you, then there is a good chance you are gay or bisexual, but 's okay if you're a ltle nfed.

IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?

In his Royal Oaks, Michigan, practice, Joe specializ Gay Affirmative Psychotherapy and IMAGO Relatnship Therapy, often treatg men who are qutng their sexual orientatn. Wh gay clients, they say they feel the same way; wh bisexual clients, they say they’re lookg at both the men and the women; wh straight clients, they say they’re lookg only at the women. Eher they’re worried that their man will eventually ci he’s gay and end the relatnship, or they want monogamy, and his cheatg is a threat to the marriage regardls of who he’s dog wh.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY

And I should pot out here that the men when they’re engagg this behavr (regardls of whether they’re gay, straight or bi) nearly always tell themselv that what they’re dog is not cheatg bee they’re dog wh a guy. If you're tryg to figure out if your iend is gay bee you want to date him (as a woman), 's important to remember that jt bee he might be terted men don't mean he's not terted women.

Although some people the gay culture may put on a certa voice or a way of speakg, your iend talkg a siar or "effemate" way is still not a very good way to judge.

HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM GAY? SIGNS YOU ARE GAY

Say somethg like, "You know you're stuck wh me as a iend no matter what, but I jt have to ask bee I don't want to make assumptns and e to the wrong nclns: are you gay? When down to , there is no reliable "Am I Gay tt", so the only way to know that you are gay (fn of gay) is to look wh yourself to terme your own thoughts and feelgs towards others of the same sex. It very much appears that same-sex sexual attractn is not a choice but actg on is; so if you fe gay as the mere prence of same-sex attractn, then om everythg we unrstand, beg gay is not a choice.

Ever sce born-aga sger and orange juice pchwoman Ana Bryant helped kick off the ntemporary anti-gay movement some 40 years ago, hard-le elements of the relig right have been searchg for ways to monize gay people — or, at a mimum, to fd arguments that will prevent their normalizatn society. For the former Florida bety queen and her Save Our Children group, was the alleged plans of gay men and lbians to "rec" schools that provid the fodr for their csa.

But addn to hawkg that myth, the legns of anti-gay activists who followed have add a panoply of others, rangg om the extremely doubtful claim that sexual orientatn is a choice, to unalloyed li like the claims that gay men molt children far more than heterosexuals or that hate crime laws will lead to the legalizatn of btialy and necrophilia.

WHY ARE PEOPLE GAY? GAY BY CHOICE OR IS BEG GAY GEIC?

The fairy tal are important to the anti-gay right bee they form the basis of s claim that homosexualy is a social evil that mt be supprsed — an opn rejected by virtually all relevant medil and scientific thori. Depictg gay men as a threat to children may be the sgle most potent weapon for stokg public fears about homosexualy — and for wng electns and referenda, as Ana Bryant found out durg her succsful 1977 mpaign to overturn a Da County, Fla., ordance barrg discrimatn agast gay people. Others have ced a group lled the Amerin College of Pediatricians (ACPeds) to claim, as Tony Perks of the Fay Rearch Council did November 2010, that "the rearch is overwhelmg that homosexualy pos a [moltatn] danger to children.

10 ANTI-GAY MYTHS DEBUNKED

Gregory Herek, a profsor at the Universy of California, Davis, who is one of the natn's leadg rearchers on prejudice agast sexual mori, reviewed a seri of studi and found no evince that gay men molt children at higher rat than heterosexual men.

The fixated child molter — the stereotypil pedophile — nnot be nsired homosexual or heterosexual bee "he often fds adults of eher sex repulsive" and often molts children of both sex. Most hard-le anti-gay anizatns are heavily vted, om both a relig and a polil standpot, promotg the tradnal nuclear fay as the sole amework for the healthy upbrgg of children. The Amerin Amy of Child & Adolcent Psychiatry affirmed 2013 that “[c]urrent rearch shows that children wh gay and lbian parents do not differ om children wh heterosexual parents their emotnal velopment or their relatnships wh peers and adults” and they are “not more likely than children of heterosexual parents to velop emotnal or behavral problems.