I was married wh 2 kids when I realized I'm gay (opn) | CNN

Contents:

• "I REALIZED I WAS GAY": MEN WHO CAME OUT LATER IN LIFE ARE SHARG WHAT IT WAS LIKE FOR THEM TO REVEAL THAT TTH AND LIVE AUTHENTILLY
• I WAS MARRIED WH 2 KIDS WHEN I REALIZED I’M GAY
• HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM GAY? SIGNS YOU ARE GAY
• 7 PEOPLE SHARE THE MOMENT THEY REALIZED THEY WERE GAY
• I ASKED GUYS WHEN THEY FIRST KNEW THEY WERE GAY
• 20 MOMENTS WHEN GAY PEOPLE REALIZED "YUP, I'M AS QUEER AS THE DAY IS LONG"
• HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY
• I’VE INTIFIED AS GAY FOR YEARS. NOT ANYMORE.
• WHAT IF YOU ONLY THOUGHT YOU WERE GAY?
• AM I GAY?
• WHEN DID YOU REALIZE YOU WERE GAY?

"I REALIZED I WAS GAY": MEN WHO CAME OUT LATER IN LIFE ARE SHARG WHAT IT WAS LIKE FOR THEM TO REVEAL THAT TTH AND LIVE AUTHENTILLY

When I found out earlier this month, along wh the rt of the world, that one of my favore actors, Kal Penn, is a fellow gay man and now engaged to his long-time partner, I was so happy that he was openly livg his tth. "I realized I was gay last year, after 36 years durg the lockdown.

I WAS MARRIED WH 2 KIDS WHEN I REALIZED I’M GAY

After seeg a gay guy I uld see myself , I started to qutn myself more. I me out as bisexual at 44 after my stepson me out as gay at 11 years old. "I moved to Ireland jt before the referendum that legalized gay marriage.

Once the untry around me changed and I started seeg more gays the muny, felt safer, and I felt more fortable to e out.

HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM GAY? SIGNS YOU ARE GAY

Part of me felt rponsible for her ath, as if beg bi or gay and my feelgs of regret somehow ed . I also realized that the label of ‘gay’ ma more sense for me than ‘bi.

7 PEOPLE SHARE THE MOMENT THEY REALIZED THEY WERE GAY

But when I moved to California and saw more gay people, then I really started to realize . I gus that's the pot I f the fn of 'gay' rather than bi. I have a lot of stori about folks who were homophobic but me around to acceptg me and honorg me for beg a gay man, once they got to know me beyond what I do bed.

In the meantime, I kept watchg gay porn but wouldn't accept and felt guilty after jerkg off to . I me out to my wife many moons ago but took a long time to realize that prayg the gay away wasn’t workg.

I ASKED GUYS WHEN THEY FIRST KNEW THEY WERE GAY

I’m a good place right now and share my home wh gay iends, as well as adult children.

"I fally started serly qutng my early 40s and quickly realized I was gay. Pl the ‘80s was not a particularly good time to be gay — I thk fear of AIDS was possibly one thg that had me nial.

20 MOMENTS WHEN GAY PEOPLE REALIZED "YUP, I'M AS QUEER AS THE DAY IS LONG"

I wonr if I'd accepted I'm gay when I was 20, if thgs would have been much different.

After spendg years dog all the manly thgs that were supposed to straighten me out, I had a particular weekend — a men-only whewater raftg trip — when I realized I did all the thgs I was aimg for that were supposed to change me, and I was still 100% gay. Once I knew the gay wasn't gog anywhere, I figured I wanted to be open and hont wh people om then on, regardls of how the rt of my life went.

The last thg, you wanted to be was gay, at least my md.

HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY

Eventually, after a lot of booze and tears, I fally admted I was gay. So my iend got me to talk to other gay guys and try and accept myself. I'm learng that beg gay is normal and not really a big al.

In Lat Ameri and my untry of Venezuela, beg gay is associated wh beg ls of a person.

I’VE INTIFIED AS GAY FOR YEARS. NOT ANYMORE.

When I was a kid, I went through all the dumb pre-ter gay kid thgs like lgerg the JCPenny's men’s unrwear sectn.

I e om a strict Irish tholic fay, so any of my mannerisms or actns that were ‘too gay’ were discsed by my fay. Grad school was the first time I was around people who seemed to genuely not re or treat people different bee they were gay.

But as the years passed, I realized I was fely gay. When I rennected wh my bt childhood iend who me out to me as bi, I was spired and told him I was gay.

WHAT IF YOU ONLY THOUGHT YOU WERE GAY?

Growg up was the whole ‘relig upbrgg/ternalized homophobia’ dance: I liked gay porn, but uldn't adm to myself I was gay.

At that pot beme important to e out as the gay man I've always been.

My wife and I are gog to unselg together to work through thgs and while ‘’ has a shelf life, I'm foced on figurg out what beg gay means to me. "At around 28 years old, I had a cent grasp that I'm overwhelmgly gay, wh some rare and specific attractn towards women.

AM I GAY?

After a few months of experiencg very novel and tense sexual feelgs, I overme my fear of masturbatn and started dog to var kds of straight and gay porn. After the divorce, I me out to my close fay and iends and started my journey of figurg out how to be gay. Tellg my therapist I'm gay and utterg that simple word changed somethg me.

But I uldn't open the door even an ch to the ia that I was homosexual. And thanks to r/AskGayBrosOver30 for creatg a space for queer men to be vulnerable and empathize wh each other.

WHEN DID YOU REALIZE YOU WERE GAY?

There’s a price of admissn for g out as gay later life. I kept wag for the moment where I would realize I was no longer gay so I uld put a halt to everythg.

I was nsumed by the p my stomach – the shame of endg my marriage bee I was gay was like luggg a sandbag over my shoulrs and havg a rock my stomach at the same time. I wasn’t sure how to tell my nservative, Geia-born and bred parents that their former pageant queen dghter was endg her marriage bee she is gay. I wasn’t brave enough to actually say the words – the label of beg gay or a lbian was too much for my soul to bear at the time – so I sent her a text msage, “I am not straight.