The Dos & Don'ts Of Gay Clubbg | Mistry of Sound

Contents:

• THE SLUTTY RURGENCE OF NEW YORK'S UNRGROUND GAY SEX PARTI
• THE DOS & DON'TS OF GAY CLUBBG
• THE UNSUNG HISTORY OF CIRCU PARTI, WHERE GAY MEN SEEK SEX AND FREEDOM
• LONDON'S LANDMARK BUILDG DOTTED WH STRIP CLUBS, GAY VENU TO TURN TO MOSQUE
• THE 10 BEST PARIS GAY CLUBS & BARSGAY CLUBS & BARS PARIS
• THE 10 BEST BERL GAY CLUBS & BARSSEE ALL THGS TO DOGAY CLUBS & BARS BERL
• HOW TO BEE POPULAR AT A GAY BAR
• 7 BT GAY EXPERIENC BANGKOK
• GAY USA
• A GAY BACHELOR PARTY PRIMER TO PLAN AN AWOME PARTY

THE SLUTTY RURGENCE OF NEW YORK'S UNRGROUND GAY SEX PARTI

I was at a gay sex party what looked like a railroad apartment wh high ceilgs, Midtown Manhattan. And then the group would disperse, and all of a sudn another area would bee a garn of pnmatic lv, as -shape dus kneeled all over the floor to give head to other -shape dus reclg on the was jt another Friday night gay New York Cy, where ’s a great time to be a days the cy, when the weekend rolls around, men who enjoy men have a variety of optns: They n go out dancg, they n go out drkg, or they n go out fuckg.

)As one might spect would be the se wh any sex party—gay, straight, or otherwise—the scene operat wh some level of natural secrecy. “We started the party a year ago, ” said a party host I’ll ll John, whose party, until recently, was largely held a small, divey gay bar Manhattan. Public gay sex New York, too, never really went away, even durg the plague years of the AIDS epimic— jt got phed to gym steam rooms and the odd bar back room.

Sex parti targeted at men who have sex wh men, though, tell a story about gay history and s prent: In 2017, men who have sex wh men are fuckg a new age of liberatn. Cisg is olr than the very ncept of gay culture, and played a huge part s nceptn. Michael Bronski wr his 2011 book A Queer History of the Uned Stat that early gay-liberatn groups such as the Mattache Society foced on “two distct rpons to legal issu faced by homosexuals.

THE DOS & DON'TS OF GAY CLUBBG

” The first aimed to secure “sexual eedom for all women and men by repealg sodomy laws and endg police harassment associated wh homosexual socializg or activy. )The policg of public sex would galvanize the fight for gay rights, but would also ntue to harm men-lovg men for s.

This is primarily a legacy of the cy’s ght, post-Stonewall history wh public spac for gay sex; early on the HIV/AIDS epimic, the vis was referred to as “Sat’s disease” bee so many patrons of the East Village dis the Sat died om . Startg soon after the AIDS crisis began the early ’80s, gay men heard about the adly nsequenc of their kd of sex near-nstantly, via PSAs, news footage of nearly ad bodi ravished by AIDS, and even through the work of gay activists like Larry Kramer, who took to prcribg abstence to bat the much has changed sce then, even if Larry Kramer’s hand-wrgg over gay promiscuy hasn’t really.

In 2014, New York, wrer Tim Murphy examed how PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis, an antiretroviral medil regimen that prevents negative people om ntractg HIV up to 99 percent) was g a cultural sea change amongst gay men. Murphy tled his piece “Sex Whout Fear, ” and at the sex parti I’ve vised over the past few months, the tle has held up; I haven’t seen much to suggt that AIDS-related fear dictat many urban, gay men’s sex liv.

THE UNSUNG HISTORY OF CIRCU PARTI, WHERE GAY MEN SEEK SEX AND FREEDOM

A recent study of 350 gay-male upl which one partner was HIV negative and one was HIV posive, but on viral-supprsn meditn, found zero stance of exposure over the urse of more than 17, 000 ndomls sex acts. (Wh mut of stg down wh Tavar, he mentned off-handly, “Whenever I see a tradnal gay marriage, I want to pe. ”) Pl, the parti offer a refuge om the hassl of geo-loactn-app acquired sual sex that has bee such a norm amongst gay and bisexual men.

The most recent one, May, featured a DJ set and the mock baptism— red pat, by legendary gay filmmaker Bce La Bce—of some naked twks. In those days, he’d advertise by handg out vatns bars or by postg the back of gay weekly nightlife rags like began to build a followg, throwg parti at var lotns throughout the cy before settlg to his current spot about 20 years ago. It looks a lot like the scriptns I’ve read of the notor gay Wt Village BDSM club the Mhaft, which was open for about 10 years before beg shuttered by the health partment.

” And a week whout time wasted chasg sex va on hook-up apps, is a week well spent gay 2008, Huntr Vreeland has held his weekly all-male HandsomeNYC party at the Manhattan BDSM club Paddl.

LONDON'S LANDMARK BUILDG DOTTED WH STRIP CLUBS, GAY VENU TO TURN TO MOSQUE

Though is officially a “BDSM club, ” Paddl offers a variety of gay-themed parti throughout the week (“Straight or BDSM people will not e out [Sunday-Thursday] nights, ” he explaed), cludg after-hours parti on Friday and Saturday nights until 7 am.

THE 10 BEST PARIS GAY CLUBS & BARSGAY CLUBS & BARS PARIS

“At this pot, law enforcement New York Cy has far more prsg ncerns than gay sex parti nsistg of nsentg adults privately owned lotns, ” he explaed by phone. I would like to say that gay men have rved out a utopia for themselv the spac, but ’s not que the se.

I’ve seen guys socialize at the parti wh an enthiasm that is unmon other, ls sex-oriented, more play--ol gay spac I’ve entered.

Most atten have the good sense to keep any dg e beyond marijuana discreet, but signs of GHB, the so-lled “date rape dg” that some gay men self-admister small, timed dos orr to achieve a horny dnken state (whout the next-day haner), are unavoidable. (This is te of many gay nightlife spac, though, be they explicly sexual nature or not. Both Thomas and Matthew have experienced varyg gre of the kd of sexual racism that thriv gay spac like this, as well as bars, clubs, and cisg apps.

THE 10 BEST BERL GAY CLUBS & BARSSEE ALL THGS TO DOGAY CLUBS & BARS BERL

While Matthew said he’s never been more nonted by gay racism than at sex parti, Thomas said the racial divis he’s experienced are lser at sex parti when pared to general bars and clubs. A particularly radil velopment New York sex parti fds queer people of varyg genr inti and sexuali nveng the same space at the same time to fuck—this is te of several of the parti at Simon’s space, the rare place where gay women’s parti and gay men’s parti overlap. Sex parti New York appeal to a niche crowd, sure, (the number of bodi Le has ever packed to his party topped out at 270—blockbter numbers for the relatively small venue and nature of his gatherg), but ’s a crowd that is, a major way, philosophilly aligned wh one of the fundamentals of the gay liberatn movement that stretch back s: the belief that we should be able to atta nsensual pleasure as we see f whout I do on ocsn, I took a turn DJg Amerin Whorer Party May for about 90 mut, and I found the experience more fortable than most sex parti I’ve attend.

Perhaps that’s bee sex parti, like many aspects of gay life, take time to warm up to. The song is unabashedly about gay sex (“The boys the back room / Lgh’ up / Shoot’ off menergy” go the jgle-like hook, sung by a group of gleeful women).

The song reached the height of s populary the years jt before anyone knew what AIDS was, when gay social liv were full of what I image was the same sort of vtment sual sex that I uld feel the room that night. Andrew Ahn’s father once told him that there were “no gay people Korea.

HOW TO BEE POPULAR AT A GAY BAR

In a culturally nservative muny, where gog to church and buildg a fay were heavily emphasized, Ahn felt his gay inty kept him “om beg able to participate Korean culture. ” Then, he started equentg GAMeBoi, a weekly Asian Amerin gay party at Wt Hollywood’s Rage Nightclub. He learned to embrace beg both Korean and gay, so much so that he directed “Fire Island, ” a groundbreakg queer Asian Amerin rom- released last year.

Beg Asian Amerin and LGBTQ+ n feel lonely, wh stutns such as ethnic church often disavowg non-heterosexual relatnships while tradnal LGBTQ+ spac such as gay bars n be unwelg to people of lor. “Fdg plac like GAMeBoi, where beg queer and Asian do -exist … It’s not like a 1, 000-year-old Korean cultural rual, but I uld create a new rual, ” said Ahn, a recent Friday, hundreds packed QT Nightlife’s monthly K-Pop Night at Micky’s, a Wt Hollywood gay club a block or so east om the old GAMeBoi posed for selfi a pk Barbie box wh dis balls hangg overhead. ” (Michael Owen Baker / For The Tim) Even historilly gay neighborhoods like Wt Hollywood or San Francis’s Castro district, Asian Amerins have long been ignored or fetishized, seen as feme and weak.

In 2019, then-Wt Hollywood Mayor John Duran argued that he did not appropriately touch a member of the Gay Men’s Chos of Los Angel bee “he’s a skny Korean kid wh pimpl on his cheek. ” Asian Amerin advocy groups cricized Duran’s remark, wh API Equaly-LA potg to the long history of discrimatn agast Asian men gay muni such as Wt Hollywood, whose clubs “ed to require three forms of photo intifitn om anyone they perceived as Asian. ” said Crisman, a 36-year-old gay Korean Amerin rearcher and artist.

7 BT GAY EXPERIENC BANGKOK

On this night, he had brought some female high school iends who wanted to experience the gay clubbg scene. Adam* said was dangero to e out as gay his home untry and feared beg forced to an arranged marriage wh a woman.He said he was "so lucky" to wed his soulmate, Ray, Manchter and wish everyone uld marry who they love. There are more than 60 untri wh laws that crimalise same-sex sexual acts acrdg to the Internatnal Lbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Associatn, cludg Sdi Arabia.'Authentilly myself'Ray said he had also stggled growg up gay the 1970s and 80s England, which was "tough".He said his relig school "dmmed to you, 'you are gog to hell'".When Adam returned home to Sdi Arabia, spe beg more than 3,000 apart and later rtricted by the Covid-19 panmic, they kept touch daily and the romance blossomed.Three years ago, Ray proposed on a vio ll and after succsfully applyg for a UK fiancé visa, Adam moved to Manchter December 2022.

Adam said he had been aaid to even wear lours his home untry so the first thg he did when he moved was start to "grow my mullet, got my ears pierced and booked appotments for tattoos".He relled how, ntrast, one of his gay iends Sdi had been forced to marry a woman, addg: "It has ed not only his life but the life of his wife."Danny Beard on Same Sex Love and MarriageDanny explor same-sex weddgs, fdg out why upl chose to get married, the challeng unrpng this cisn and what mak the wedd relatnships work.The uple said they now wanted to help people who were not as ee and strive for "equaly for everyone"."Now I'm here a safe place I want to fight for others to be able to marry who they want," Adam said."I'm so lucky but I want everyone else Sdi to marry the one they love whout facg discrimatn and persecutn." Image source, Fay photographImage ptn, Peter McGrah and David Cabreza say they are "very proud" to have been the first same-sex uple married EnglandMore than 40,000 same-sex marriag took place between 2014 and 2020, acrdg to the Office for Natnal StatisticsPeter McGrah and David Cabreza, origally om Stland and the US, ma history when they beme the first same-sex uple to marry England on 29 March 2014.The trailblazers married jt after midnight at Islgton Town Hall.

The uple, who live London, said a "really betiful memory" was on the way home when one of their sons shouted out of the black b wdow to Trafalgar Square, "My dads jt got married" and cheered "Yay, gay marriage"."It was so sweet seeg him so happy," Mr Cabreza said. ’s most remote gay bar) you uld probably fd one place to wet your whistle. Chanc are, your first tentative steps out onto the London queer scene were ma or around Old Compton Street, the shg of London’s mastream gay culture.

GAY USA

The inic Royal Vxhall Tavern is one of the olst gay venu the cy and ss, as you may have gused, Vxhall. Chanc are you probably won’t be starg down that barrel of that gun a gay club eher then pal.

Csg a venue to ll out an expensive plummer bee you and your pals thought ’d be a great plan to smash up the toilet after your first h of gay gra gak isn’t exactly the pnacle of allyship. Gay men do not have any more right to touch a woman’s breasts than a straight man whout nsent. It’s been 50 years sce homosexualy was crimalised this untry.

A mere 30 years later, sectn 28 was passed - makg an offence to promote (talk about) homosexualy schools and only 5 years ago same sex marriag were not legal. The circu—a loose global work of often weekend-long danceathons, where partygoers (almost all gay men) nvene om around the world to bond spirually, socially, sexually and milly—is one of the most unique phenomena to emerge om queer muni over the past few s. Undoubtedly, many younger gay men prefer smaller venu that "bask the bety and openns of queer culture.

A GAY BACHELOR PARTY PRIMER TO PLAN AN AWOME PARTY

" Plenty of olr gay men, too, fd the whole ethos of circu parti — glow sticks, remixed diva anthems, lor them, "body fascism"—to be tired figure out the state of the circu 2017, THUMP spoke wh Mickey Weems, a lecturer at the Universy of Hawai'i Manoa who has extensively studied circu parti (alongsi relig, anthropologil and folklore terts). Weems spoke to their past, prent and potential future, explag what role the circu has played shapg queer and gay culture, and what s evolutn says about the same today.

A gay circu party (Photo via)THUMP: Can you give me a psule history of the circu? When the Gay Activist Alliance was formed—the first gay rights group, born only six months after Stonewall—they had danc an old firehoe SoHo.

And New York, thoands of men began gatherg at Downtown loft spac that began croppg started pourg , wh plac like Flamgo and Twelve Wt, two of the most proment gay male dance spac, full of sweaty men dancg all the same time, Fire Island beme the place for people who uld afford .