My So-Called Ex-Gay Life - The Amerin Prospect

Contents:

• FORMER 'EX-GAY' LEARS DENOUNCE 'CONVERSN THERAPY' IN A NEW DOCUMENTARY
• MY SO-CALLED EX-GAY LIFE
• GAY SUPPORT: WHERE TO FD LGBT HELP AND SUPPORT GROUPS
• LGBTQ+ SUPPORT, SUPPORT GROUPS, GAY SUPPORT ORGANIZATNS
• I INFILTRATED AN 'EX-GAY' GROUP NEW YORK CY — AND THIS IS WHAT IT DID TO ME
• MORMON 'EX-GAY' GROUP SHUTS DOWN, ABSORBED BY OTHER ORGANIZATN
• HOW TO COPE WHEN YOUR SPOE COM OUT AS GAY

FORMER 'EX-GAY' LEARS DENOUNCE 'CONVERSN THERAPY' IN A NEW DOCUMENTARY

PFOX exists to te, support, and advote for dividuals and parents on the issue of same-sex attractn, and crease others’ unrstandg and acceptance of the ex-gay enurage you to view PFOX rourc for those impacted by homosexualy whether stgglg and lookg for help, a parent seekg support, a stunt school, or a lear a church. We hope you’ll learn more about the ex-gay muny through our ex-gay page and by watchg personal stori on our vio page, and that you’ll better unrstand same-sex attractn, transgenr/genr inty, and what’s important for our lears ernment to realize when makg policy cisns on the issu. If your child munit that they have fully adopted and embraced a gay inty – n be an even more ighteng and heartbreakg experience for unfaiar parents.

MY SO-CALLED EX-GAY LIFE

PFOX exists to te, support, and advote for dividuals and parents on the issue of same-sex attractn, and crease others’ unrstandg and acceptance of the ex-gay believe that every person seekg posive life change needs and serv the love and support of fay, iends, the muny, and the church.

Through public awarens mpaigns, PFOX has a long and proud history of tg society on the facts about sexual orientatn orr to elimate negative perceptns and discrimatn agast ex-gays and those tryg to overe same-sex attractn. It's a movement that's born out of a larger culture of homophobia and transphobia that still persists the majory of Christian church today.

Interview highlights clu extend web-only answers and have been eded for length and clary: Interview Highlights Thomas on how he joed the "ex-gay" movement and Exod Internatnal I was out of the closet the '80s. They also had a group for the gays, and unrneath all of that olns there was this toxic theology that said that you need to overe homosexualy. Stolakis on what the ex-gay and nversn therapy movement looks like today Conversn therapy and the ex-LGBTQ movement has always been practiced lolly.

GAY SUPPORT: WHERE TO FD LGBT HELP AND SUPPORT GROUPS

It's bee very lennial-driven bee there are younger people who've grown up homophobic and transphobic environments who are ready and willg to take the place of people like Randy.

My mom is a problem solver, and the next day she hand me a stack of papers she had prted out om the Inter about reorientatn, or "ex-gay, " therapy. Joseph Nilosi, a clil psychologist California who was then print of the Natnal Associatn for Rearch and Therapy of Homosexualy (NARTH), the untry's largt anizatn for practners of ex-gay therapy.

LGBTQ+ SUPPORT, SUPPORT GROUPS, GAY SUPPORT ORGANIZATNS

Nilosi's rner office had emerald-green rpet and mahogany bookshelv led wh tl like Homosexualy: A Freedom Too Far and Homosexualy and the Polics of Tth.

" Although I might never feel a spark of excement when I saw a woman walkg down the street, as I progrsed therapy, my homosexual attractns would dimish. The other men-four or five altogether-were their forti and fifti and talked about their years the "gay liftyle, " which had yield only unhapps.

I left the office wh a py of Nilosi's most recent book, Healg Homosexualy, and a worksheet that tegorized different emotns unr the brics of "te self" and "false self. Another sheet illtrated the "triadic relatnship" that led to homosexualy: a passive, distant father, an overvolved mother, and a sensive child.

I INFILTRATED AN 'EX-GAY' GROUP NEW YORK CY — AND THIS IS WHAT IT DID TO ME

My mother might not have so easily found rmatn about ex-gay therapy had the Christian right not planted this stake the culture ad appeared 23 years after the Amerin Psychiatric Associatn (APA) classified homosexualy as a mental illns. A small group of therapists ntued to practice talk therapy that enuraged patients to see homosexualy as a velopmental disorr, but they remaed on the ge until the Christian right took up their e. Instead of fire-and-brimstone nunciatns om the pulp, the ex-gay movement allowed the Christian right to uch s nmnatn of homosexualy a way that seemed passnate.

Foc on the Fay lled s new ex-gay mistry Love Won Out and talked about healg and rg for ex-gay movement turned the rhetoric of gay rights agast self: Shouldn't ex-gays be able to pursue therapy and live the liv they want whout facg discrimatn? Together wh the late Charl Soris, a psychiatrist who led the opposn to classifyg homosexualy as a mental illns, Nilosi formed NARTH 1992 as a "scientific anizatn that offers hope to those who stggle wh unwanted homosexualy. Nilosi remas NARTH's most visible are no reliable statistics for how many patients have received ex-gay treatment or how many therapists practice , but the late 1990s and early 2000s, ex-gay therapy enjoyed a legimacy hadn't sce the APA removed homosexualy om s diagnostic manual.

Whether or not the Christian right's alliance wh the ex-gay movement had nstuted a D-Day the culture wars, had succsfully challenged the prevailg ia that the bt choice for gay people was to accept themselv. I read one of Nilosi's books, Reparative Therapy of Male Homosexualy, that he tri to posn himself as a supportive father figure, typifyg the sort of relatnship that he believ his patients never had wh their own father. When I left for Yale, my mother sent me off wh a warng: Were she to disver that I had "entered the gay liftyle, " my parents would no longer pay for my tn.

MORMON 'EX-GAY' GROUP SHUTS DOWN, ABSORBED BY OTHER ORGANIZATN

Based on 200 terviews wh ex-gay patients-the largt sample amassed-the study did not make any claims about the succs rate of ex-gay therapy. What translated to the larger culture was: The father of the 1973 revolutn the classifitn and treatment of homosexualy, who uld not be seen as jt another biased ex-gay csar wh an agenda, had validated ex-gay therapy. Participants had been referred to Spzer by ex-gay groups like NARTH and Exod, which had an tert remendg clients who would validate their work.

Spzer was drawn to the topic of ex-gay therapy bee was ntroversial-"I was always attracted to ntroversy"-but was troubled by how the study was received. The need for that evince beme more prsg the early 2000s, when a dre of gay-rights bloggers began to sctize the movement, ready to expose any ht of hypocrisy. Richard Cohen, the founr of PFOX (Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays)-tend as the ex-gay unterpart to PFLAG (Parents, Fai, and Friends of Lbians and Gays)-was expelled om the Amerin Counselg Associatn for ethics vlatns.

Michael Johnston, the founr of "Natnal Comg Out of Homosexualy Day, " was revealed to have fected men he'd met on the Inter wh HIV through unprotected sex. Among them were Alan Downg, the lead therapist of JONAH (Jews Offerg New Alternativ to Homosexualy), who ma his patients strip and touch themselv ont of a mirror; NARTH member Christopher At, who was nvicted of "unlawfully, tentnally and knowgly [g] peratn of" a client; and Exod-affiliated Mike Jon, who asked a patient to take off his shirt and do ph-ups for movement also suffered several high-profile fectns.

HOW TO COPE WHEN YOUR SPOE COM OUT AS GAY

John Evans, who had found the first ex-gay mistry outsi of San Francis, renounced change therapy when a iend mted suici after failg to bee heterosexual. " In 2007, Exod -founr Michael Bsee apologized for his role startg the as a rponse to the rurgence of ex-gay therapy, mastream profsnal anizatns also took a harr stance.

" The APA now tells s members they should not engage the the past few years, even Exod has begun to show cracks s support for ex-gay therapy. The group no longer talks about "Freedom om Homosexualy"-s motto-but about the nobily of ntug to stggle agast same-sex has also begun to distance self om NARTH.