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class="SpaceHolr-oayp fXtswJ ad-height-hold"></div><ma id="ma-ntent" tabx="-1" class="BasePageMaContent-kFvAuh ewPCZH pagema-ntent"><article class="article ma-ntent" lang="en-US"><div class="ArticlePageLeBackground-EufvU tFsh"><hear class="ContentHearWrapper-clujbs elpfHZ ntent-hear articlentent-hear"><div data-ttid="ContentHearContaer" class="ContentHearContaer-cGKRbE knDxNq"><div class="ContentHearHedAccredatnWrapper-GFiQf cDNVlV"><div data-ttid="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper" class="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper-cjmSKp lkJlKO"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubric" class="ContentHearRubricBlock-LmpbT dmqhlj"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubricDateBlock" class="ContentHearRubricDateBlock-kAQcZP fTFWxD"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX cJdXjE bric ContentHearRubricContaer-eTudtt iRsSlw"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Love</span></div></div></div><h1 data-ttid="ContentHearHed" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearHed-NCyCC iUEiRd bjcNOB gydgrM">10 Facts About Asexualy That Help Dispel Harmful Myths</h1></div><div class="ContentHearAccredatn-lfctVB etVsnJ ntent-hearaccredatn" data-ttid="ContentHearAccredatn"><div class="ContentHearDek-bIqFFZ bZgCVT">There are a lot of misunrstandgs out there. </div><div class="ContentHearByle-kmPyCa emiglw"><div class="ContentHearByleContent-dpPmNn DRFq"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl ContentHearByl-cZqgyJ bHLeKI"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH gKcujo byle bylbyle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU bylename"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd fzZOZR gnILss bylepreamble">By </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd fPqUbj IWACp eErqIx bylename-lk button" href="/ntributor/julie-kliegman">Julie Kliegman</a></span></span></p></div><time data-ttid="ContentHearPublishDate" dateTime="2021-11-05T10:00:00-04:00" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearPublishDate-eIBicG iUEiRd danQKH MlCHH">November 5, 2021</time></div></div><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--standard ContentHearAccredatnSocialIns-jorO fPzfaa ntent-hearsocial-share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-inslist"></ul></div></div></div><div class="ContentHearLeadAsset-hGbumP cAlrhp lead-asset ContentHearLeadAssetWrapper-hfXHEc bjtV lead-asset--width-small" data-ttid="ContentHearLeadAsset"><figure class="ContentHearLeadAssetContent-kOfYSG dRGWbI"><div class="ContentHearLeadAssetContentMedia-bLEIpi jjhWdS lead-assetntentphoto"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb cZenhb"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jgsWEn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb cZenhb rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w, 1920w, 2240w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Image may nta Graphics Art and Morn Art" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-imageimage" src="></picture></div></div></span><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE qDPBn ptn ContentHearLeadAssetCaptn-hPWmSN loMSDX"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd gVwuiM fNaHcW ptncred">Valery / Adobe Stock</span></div></div></figure><div data-ttid="ContentHearLeadRailAnchor" class="ContentHearLeadRailAnchor-jYVcDc djtEof"></div></div></div><asi class="PersistentAsiWrapper-VGrR oEIBz persistent-asi persistent-asi--align-left" style="posn:absolute;top:to;height:to" data-ttid="PersistentAsiWrapper"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jNgrSF sticky-box ContentHearPersistentAsi-fsnAmQ dFzKzm"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-boxprimary"><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--has-background ContentHearSocialIns-jzJiyg fgMkJI social-ins--share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-inslist"></ul></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></asi></hear></div><div data-attribute-verso-pattern="article-body" class="ArticlePageContentBackGround-cNiFNN kJkLmH article-bodyntent"><div class="ArticlePageChunksContent-etcMtP bwyLBj"><div data-ttid="ArticlePageChunks" class="ArticlePageChunks-fLyCVG eOdfIs"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layoutntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa UJsCn body bodyntaer articlebody" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>People are havg more open nversatns about sex the days, but there’s still a lot of misrmatn and nfn that n perpetuate some negative views. And asexualy, meang the lack of sexual attractn, is a equently misunrstood orientatn that people should be aware of. In fact, ’s so monly left out of nversatns about sexual orientatns that asexual wrer <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Julie Sondra Decker</a> even lled her 2015 book about asexualy <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank"><em>The Invisible Orientatn</em></a>. Although books like Decker’s have helped raise awarens of this issue, many people still have misnceptns or don’t unrstand what means to be asexual.</p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-unslot nsumer-marketg-unslot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-un__slot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><p>To help ph back agast misnceptns that n harm asexual people like me as we seek out love—whether platonilly or romantilly—and fulfillg liv, SELF talked to experts and asexual people about 10 important asexualy facts that n help dispel some of the myths.</p><h2>1. Asexualy is a sexual orientatn.</h2><p>You may have heard about asexualy but not know too much else about . First and foremost, ’s important to unrstand that asexualy is a sexual orientatn like heterosexualy or <a href=">bisexualy</a>—and ’s not lser than any others. Bee we’ll be discsg a lot of terms and sexualy n be plex, ’s helpful to know that sexual orientatn scrib your attractn or absence of attractn to another person whereas genr inty scrib your ternal unrstandg or sense of your genr, i.e., if you are a woman, man, nonbary person, or another genr.</p><h2>2. Beg asexual don’t necsarily mean you don’t have sex.</h2><p>You might assume that ac—a shorthand for anyone who falls unr the asexual umbrella—don’t have sex, but people who lack sexual attractn to others don’t necsarily lack the sire to have sex or a sex drive. “There are arguably so many different ways to be straight or heterosexual. There are siarly so many ways to be asexual,” <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">KJ Cerankowski</a>, Ph.D., an assistant profsor of parative Amerin lerature and genr, sexualy, and femist studi at <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Oberl College</a>, tells SELF.</p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p>Some people dite their general willgns to have sex by intifyg wh different tegori unr the broar asexualy umbrella, acrdg to the <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Asexualy Visibily and Edutn Network</a>: </p><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad---ntent"><div class="adslot adslot---ntent" data-no-id="rturln"></div></div><ul><li>People who are misexual typilly need a strong emotnal nnectn to feel sexually attracted to someone.</li><li>People who intify as gray asexual fall between asexualy and allosexualy (meang you feel sexually attracted to others), and ually have their personal fns of what this means. For example, some people may experience sexual attractn specific suatns.</li></ul><p>Bee sex tn urs don’t typilly teach about asexualy and there are very few plac to learn about the nuanc of this orientatn, people may not unrstand that you n be asexual whout beg abstent. “I thought lack of sexual attractn meant you were repulsed by sex, therefore I uldn’t be ace,” <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Angela Chen</a>, who is the thor of <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank"><em>Ace</em></a> and has intified as asexual for six years, tells SELF. “And so I thk if I hadn’t had that misnceptn, I would’ve realized I was ace a long time ago. I also enjoy havg sex wh my partner for emotnal reasons and for other reasons that don’t have to do wh sexual attractn, jt as many non-asexual people do,” she says.</p><h2>3. Ac n seek out romance—or not.</h2><p>Everyone has different needs and ias of what they want or don’t want a relatnship, and that’s no different for ac. Some <a href=">asexual people may want to get married</a> while others may not pursue any romantic relatnships. To that end, ac may intify wh a particular romantic orientatn and e the followg terms to scribe themselv, acrdg to the <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Asexualy Visibily and Edutn Network</a>:</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layoutasi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB kNleGZ sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-boxprimary"><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="adslot adslot--rail" data-no-id="r5vbip"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-unslot nsumer-marketg-unslot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="adslot adslot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="xs6f0p"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layoutntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa UJsCn body bodyntaer articlebody" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="bodyner-ntaer"><ul><li><strong>Heteroromantic</strong> scrib dividuals who seek romantic relatnships wh people of a different genr.</li><li><strong>Homoromantic</strong> scrib those who want romantic relatnships wh people of the same genr.</li><li><strong>Biromantic</strong> scrib people who velop romantic relatnships wh multiple genrs.</li><li><strong>Panromantic</strong> scrib people who have romantic relatnships wh people regardls of genr.</li><li><strong>Aromantic</strong> scrib people who don’t feel romantic attractn to people. Some dividuals feel like they fall somewhere between havg romantic and aromantic feelgs and might intify as grayromantic.</li></ul><p>In addn to intifyg as asexual, Decker says she’s romantic, and bee of this, people mistakenly assume some very hurtful thgs about why she isn’t a relatnship. Acrdg to Decker, people have said thgs like, “You would be a relatnship if you uld. You’re not formg typil relatnships bee you n’t or bee there’s somethg wrong wh you,” Decker tells SELF. The hurtful ias are not only unte, but they further bias agast people who are asexual.</p><h2>4. Asexualy isn’t herently the rult of experiencg sexual trma.</h2><p>Sometim people mistakenly believe that asexualy occurs after a sexual asslt or another trmatic experience. Although some ace people may have experienced sexual trma jt like people who aren’t ace, assumg someone is asexual bee of a negative experience is otherg, Dr. Cerankowski says. “Nothg mak somebody asexual any more than somethg mak somebody heterosexual, or gay or queer any other way,” they say.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-1 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>Furthermore, beg asexual scrib your attractn and not <em>why</em> you feel a certa type of attractn, says Decker. “It’s evable that some portn of the populatn of asexual people is also gog to cross over wh people who have experienced trma bee some portn of every populatn has experienced abe, trma, or sexual asslt,” Decker says.</p><h2>5. Asexualy isn’t a new orientatn.</h2><p>It’s nearly impossible to say how long asexualy has existed, but ’s fely not a novel ia. “The myth that asexualy is a ‘new’ inty is only perpetuated as a way to dimish and to validate the very real ncerns of asexual people,” ace wrer and edor Sherronda J. Brown tells SELF.</p><p>As early as the 1800s, experts wrote about havg a lack of sexual sire, or asexualy, g other nam, such as sexual anthia, acrdg to <em>Asexual Erotics</em>, a 2019 book by <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Ela Przybylo</a>, Ph.D., <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Illois State Universy</a> profsor of English and women’s, genr, and sexualy studi. And later, 1972, femist Lisa Orlando wrote <a href=">“The Asexual Manifto,”</a> a document clearly outlg asexualy terms we’d e today, and explag how differs om beg celibate. <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Ace z (</a>small-circulatn, self-published magaz) have existed for s. <em>P</em>, published 1996, is jt one example. Assumg asexualy is a newer orientatn n alienate olr people who are ace and put the foc solely on younger generatns, which perpetuat the myth that ac are immature or still fdg their way toward sexualy.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layoutasi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-boxprimary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="adslot adslot--rail" data-no-id="olbjb"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-unslot nsumer-marketg-unslot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="RecircMostPopularWrapper-bRuGTi jkTTgR recirc-most-popular-wrapper viewport-monor-anchor"><div class="RecircMostPopularConter-jiViNn ktrplG recirc-most-popular-sparrow-trackg hi-asi-ad" 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class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa UJsCn body bodyntaer articlebody" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="bodyner-ntaer"><p>“We n’t transport our current unrstandg of asexualy back time, but what we n see is that there is this history of people who jt didn’t exprs tert sex and who have abstaed om sex for var reasons,” Dr. Cerankowski says.</p><h2>6. People of all racial backgrounds and genrs n be asexual.</h2><p>Oftentim, whe people reprent the ace muny media mentns, which n be misleadg, acrdg to Decker. “People like me, through no accint of my privilege, have had accs to media opportuni and publishg opportuni and whatnot bee whe fac make people thk, ‘Oh, she’s regular,’” Decker says.</p><p>Deep-rooted racism and the lonial history of hyper-sexualizg and eroticizg people of lor also ntribute to the ia that only whe people are asexual, even wh ace spac, Brown says. “The acephobia I experience as a Black person looks very different pared to the acephobia a whe woman might experience, specifilly bee of the history of how whe womanhood has been nstcted as ‘pure’ and worthy of protectn,” Brown says.</p><p>There’s very ltle wi-sle rearch on asexualy, so there really is no good data showg racial reprentatn the asexual muny. The 2019 Ace Communy Survey<sup>1</sup>, a muny-driven web survey that started 2014, polled 10,184 ac and found that 4.5% intified as Asian/Pacific Islanr, 2.8 % intified as Hispanic or Latx, and 1.7% intified as Black. But this is jt one survey, so ’s not clear how accurate is as a reprentatn of the racial diversy of the muny—which is an important thg to pture. Knowg that there are other people of their sk lor or culture who are asexual may help some people feel more wele ace circl like support groups.</p><p>Addnally, cisgenr men are often portrayed as hypersexual popular culture. That msage perpetuat the ia that ’s wrong for them to be asexual, which is a harmful stereotype that uld prevent some people om g out as ace or even unrstandg their own sexual preferenc. While we don’t have exact numbers, more than a third of ac are eher bary men or nonbary/genr-nonnformg, acrdg to the 2019 Ace Communy Survey<sup>1</sup>. But people assigned female at birth are most often the ace voic found media pictns, acrdg to Ben Kantt, a transmascule ace. “There’s more of a bent towards, I would say, a cis female and female-aligned nonbary experience,” Kantt tells SELF. “There do seem to be a general lack of perspectiv om nonaligned or male or mascule-aligned people.”</p><h2>7. Ac n and do start fai.</h2><p>Asexual people may not experience sexual attractn to others (and remember, that’s not necsarily for the se for all ac, like gray asexual people!), but that don’t mean that they don’t want to have a partner, get married, and/or have children. David Jay, founr of the Asexualy and Visibily Edutn Network, has known his entire life that he wanted kids—even though he don’t want a romantic partner. “I thk there’s a misnceptn that if you don’t want sex, you don’t want kids,” he tells SELF. “Or if you don’t experience sexual attractn, you don’t want kids. I n tell you those thgs are really different,” he says.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layoutasi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-boxprimary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="adslot adslot--rail" data-no-id="i2gevv"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-unslot nsumer-marketg-unslot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="RecircMostPopularWrapper-bRuGTi jkTTgR recirc-most-popular-wrapper viewport-monor-anchor"><div class="RecircMostPopularConter-jiViNn ktrplG recirc-most-popular-sparrow-trackg hi-asi-ad" data-most-popular-id="mod-most-popular-575"><div class="RecircMostPopularHeadg-iVzhzt fIrqYK">Most Popular</div><ul class="RecircMostPopularItems-dCAajf 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Dermatologists</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-embyle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY fOzHsm summary-embyle"><div class="summary-embylentent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH ktuuhV byle bylbyle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU bylename"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd fzZOZR gnILss bylepreamble">By </span>Sara Coughl</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff iPbsZw summary-em summary-em--has-borr summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-si-by-si summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center 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data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ izJpcw summary-emhed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Actually, ‘Bed Rottg’ Can Be a Very Leg Form of Self-Care</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-embyle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY fOzHsm summary-embyle"><div class="summary-embylentent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH ktuuhV byle bylbyle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU bylename"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd fzZOZR gnILss bylepreamble">By </span>Jenna Ryu</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw bGBSrw ad ad--asi"><div class="adslot adslot--asi" data-no-id="sm7fge"></div></div></li></ul><div class="RecircMostPopularFooter-enPjgs fObDao"></div></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="adslot adslot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="97n5ul"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layoutntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa UJsCn body bodyntaer articlebody" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="bodyner-ntaer"><p>And for ace people, fai e all forms, jt as they do for people who have sexual attractn. For example, some people may have kids wh their ace or allosexual partner or they may choose to, say, adopt by themselv. “The rout to fdg fay and makg nnectns are as multudo and varied as human sexualy self,” Brown says.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-2 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>For Jay, buildg that fay volved the cisn to live a three-parent hoehold and adopt Octavia, the birth dghter of a uple wh whom he is close iends. It also volved movg to San Francis where the birth parents lived and where third-parent adoptn is legal.</p><h2>8. Ac n be kky.</h2><p>Kk is not synonymo wh sex self, and ’s possible to actively <a href=">seek out, participate , and enjoy kk</a> whout necsarily participatg what some people tradnally might thk of as sexual activy. Instead, kk is primarily about negotiatg nsent. It n volve thgs like role-playg and bondage, for example.</p><p>“I thk many people thk about kk as this herently sexual practice. But there are ac who are kky and they say that they like bee the physil sensatns are tertg. Or people thk the emotnal dynamics or the role play is tertg even if their tert is not based on sexual attractn,” Chen says.</p><p>Ultimately, many people, whether ace or not, might be drawn to kk bee the spac allow them to explore power dynamics and boundari, Dr. Przybylo explas.</p><h2>9. Ac al wh discrimatn.</h2><p>“A lot of the issu that we ac face are not necsarily policy based, but they’re very much cultural attus that society has which beg ace is nsired abnormal,” Chen says. That’s not to say that some asexual people don’t experience policy-based discrimatn related to other aspects of their inti, for example, like if they are gay or trans.</p><p>“We’re kd of looked at as if there is somethg wrong wh ,” Decker says of the discrimatory attus people have about asexualy. In rponse to her book, one person wrote her a letter sayg, “You need to get yourself to a psychologist bee what you’re alg wh is not normal and you have to fix yourself right away,” Decker rells.</p><p>One of the most ser areas of potential discrimatn relat to fdg mental health servic, acrdg to Decker. Some therapists aren’t knowledgeable about asexualy, and ac may have trouble fdg clive therapists who reaffirm their inty.</p><p>“It is very hard to accs marriage unselg, relatnship unselg, and mental health servic if you’re alg wh a profsnal who is not up on unrstandg asexualy and assum ’s the maniftatn of a disorr,” Decker says. “I’ve heard om people who have been medited bee they’re scribg asexualy and the therapist or the mental health practner don’t know what to ll bis low sex drive and thks that they mt want a higher sex drive,” she says.</p><h2>10. There’s a arth of accurate, affirmg pop culture reprentatn for ac.</h2><p>It’s important for ac to see themselv mastream pop culture orr to feel accepted. Seeg that ’s possible to have an enjoyable and fulfillg life whout beg sexually attracted to others helps normalize asexualy—but there’s historilly been very ltle reprentatn of asexualy media like TV. Some might view the TV character Todd Chavez (the only asexual character on TV 2020, acrdg to GLAAD<sup>2</sup>) om the now-nceled <em>BoJack Horseman</em> as the pnacle of asexualy. Chavez was an enarg but immature and reckls sikick, which didn’t make him an ial ambassador for all asexual people, who often stggle to be taken serly as is. But he was the most proment reprentatn we had on TV recently—and he helped me realize I was ace. His uncertaty surroundg physil affectn and worry that he might be abnormal sce he felt nothg ronated wh me a way that spurred me to rearch asexualy. And I’m not alone feelg this way.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-3 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>“I unironilly thk that Todd Chavez changed my life a ltle b,” Kantt says. “That is so far the only posive asexual reprentatn I’ve seen what I would nsir mastream media.” Kantt says they’ve found more asexual reprentatn var books, but those often have smaller dienc than a h Netflix show.</p><p>We’re “diggg the bottom of trash ns tryg to fd reprentatn,” Decker says. “I would like to see more plited narrativ about asexual people so we n start to have a more nuanced unrstandg of what n look like.”</p><p><strong>Sourc</strong>:</p><ol><li><a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Ace Communy Survey, 2019 Asexual Communy Survey Summary Report</a></li><li><a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">GLAAD, Where We Are On TV, 2020-2021</a></li></ol><p><strong>Related</strong>:</p><ul><li><a href=">This Is What It’s Like to Come Out Your 30s or Later</a></li><li><a href=">19 Feelgs About Sex and Intimacy That Are Totally Normal Right Now</a></li><li><a href=">8 Signs a Sex Therapist Might Improve Your Life (and How to Fd One)</a></li></ul></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layoutasi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-boxprimary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="adslot adslot--rail" data-no-id="up7"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-unslot nsumer-marketg-unslot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 PaywallInleBarrierWhWrapperGrid-fyrGfS kLQIUk grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layoutntent"><div class="body bodyle-barrier articlebody"><div class="ntaer ntaer--body"><div class="ntaer--body-ner"><asi class="PaywallInleBarrierWrapper-iBnuqk lfXXa-D" data-ttid="PaywallInleBarrierWrapper"><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--paywall-le-barrier" role="prentatn" aria-live="pole" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-unslot nsumer-marketg-unslot--paywall-le-barrier"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></asi></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ContentWrapperGrid-fvkmBv brYtrA grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layoutntent"><div class="body bodyntaer"><div class="ntaer ntaer--body"><div class="ntaer--body-ner"></div></div></div></div></div></div></article><div class="ContentFooterWrapper-jVNdRG dTJkpP ArticlePageContentFooterGrid-ccsXYy eMZRHU article-bodyfooter"><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layoutntent"></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layoutntent"><div class="ContributorsWrapper-eNpWFu hEUvfU ntributors" data-ttid="Contributors"><div class="ContributorBWrapper-bnVHbt fTIPSP"><div class="ContributorBContent-ubQdr jZTSSi"><div class="ContributorBHear-ledood XOIEx"></div><div class="ContributorBB-fBolsO wPiP"><a href="/ntributor/julie-kliegman">Julie Kliegman</a> is a journalist based Queens, New York. 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Any rmatn published on this webse or by this brand is not tend as a substute for medil advice, and you should not take any actn before nsultg wh a healthre profsnal.</p></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layoutntent"><div data-ttid="TagCloudWrapper" class="TagCloudWrapper-gGgndx iPNP ContentFooterTagCloud-krQmRG ZLGh"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TagCloudSectnHear-cOforY iUEiRd kgktQt kQQRmu">Topics</span><a href="/topic/sex" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM TagCloudLk-kvjZFu iUEiRd fPqUbj iAqPKp hIhJOI"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TagCloudName-eAUnLd iUEiRd hJhJHy bUkXwu">sex</span></a><a href="/topic/relatnships" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM TagCloudLk-kvjZFu iUEiRd fPqUbj iAqPKp hIhJOI"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TagCloudName-eAUnLd iUEiRd hJhJHy bUkXwu">relatnships</span></a><a href="/topic/lgbtq" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM TagCloudLk-kvjZFu iUEiRd fPqUbj iAqPKp hIhJOI"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TagCloudName-eAUnLd iUEiRd hJhJHy bUkXwu">lgbtq</span></a><a href="/topic/love" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM TagCloudLk-kvjZFu iUEiRd fPqUbj iAqPKp hIhJOI"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TagCloudName-eAUnLd iUEiRd hJhJHy bUkXwu">love</span></a></div></div></div></div><div data-ttid="ContentFooterBottom" class="ContentFooterBottom-jwWZfC kcbyiW"><div class="ntent-bottom-anchor"></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-footer" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-unslot nsumer-marketg-unslot--article-footer"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="recirc-list-wrapper viewport-monor-anchor"><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan ContentFooterRelated-kEBiFe kVUuwq"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK eRggVV grid grid-margs grid-ems-0 SummaryCollectnGridComponent-ktyEog bdTTVU summary-llectn-grid RecircListDefltOverlaySummaryCollectnGrid-AHJhY bEaXiL recirc-listems summary-llectn-grid--four-lumns summary-llectn-grid--TextBelowLeft"><div class="GridItem-buujkM kHPPIF grid--em"><div class="SummaryCollectnGridContent-eVUpRm gOErDJ"><div class="SectnTleRoot-dBGvdq fxVSsn SummaryCollectnGridSectnTle-fCmYwG izjbVn" data-ttid="SectnTle"><hear class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SectnTleHed-dKqZet dxqEAa iuxgWr jttyjJ">More om Self</hear></div><div class="SummaryCollectnGridItems-DZShR iJAxgH hi-read-more-ad" data-ttid="SummaryCollectnGridItems"><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff gjCHLu summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm qQT" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-emasset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-emimage-lk summary-em-trackgimage-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-1" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-emimage"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-emimage rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Everyone Has Relatnship Deal-Breakers. 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ggvOsp summary-emhed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">How to Grieve and Eventually Move On After a Friend Dumps You</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-emk">Confn, anger, and sadns are totally normal when you’ve lost your person.</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff gjCHLu summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm qQT" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-emasset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-emimage-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-emimage"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-emimage rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="42 Prime Day Sex Toy Deals 2023 You Can Still Shop" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-imageimage" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-emntent summary-emntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackghed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-emhed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">42 Prime Day Sex Toy Deals 2023 You Can Still Shop</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-emk">Toe-curlg disunts on vibrators, butt plugs, strokers, and more.</div></div></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm qQT ad ad--read-more"><div class="adslot adslot--read-more" data-no-id="4hd6cu"></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff gjCHLu summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm qQT" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-emasset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-emimage-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-emimage"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-emimage rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Are You Dealg Wh a Narcissist or Jt an Asshole?" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-imageimage" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-emntent summary-emntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackghed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-emhed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Are You Dealg Wh a Narcissist or Jt an Asshole?</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-emk">There’s a difference between sensive behavr and straight up manipulatn.</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff gjCHLu summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm qQT" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-emasset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-emimage-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-5" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-emimage"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-emimage rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Keke Palmer Got Real About the Prsure of Breastfeedg: It’s Been a ‘Doozy’" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-imageimage" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-emntent summary-emntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackghed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-5" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-emhed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Keke Palmer Got Real About the Prsure of Breastfeedg: It’s Been a ‘Doozy’</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-emk">“It isn’t that easy. And if is for you, wonrful. But I thk more often than not, ’s difficult.”</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff gjCHLu summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm qQT" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-emasset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-emimage-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-6" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-emimage"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture 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Herp</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-emk">There’s a ton of misrmatn around this super-mon STI—but a diagnosis don’t spell doom for your hookups.</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff gjCHLu summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm qQT" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-emasset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-emimage-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-7" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-emimage"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-emimage rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="How to Use a Fns Tracker Whout Lettg It Rule Your Life" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-imageimage" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-emntent summary-emntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackghed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-7" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-emhed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">How to Use a Fns Tracker Whout Lettg It Rule Your Life</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-emk">The nstant remrs to get more steps or burn more lori n be triggerg—pecially for perfectnists.</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff gjCHLu summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm qQT" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-emasset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-emimage-lk 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is asexual gay

2 Dec 2024

LGBTQIA+ is an abbreviatn for lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, queer or qutng, tersex, asexual, and more. The terms are ed to scribe a person’s sexual orientatn or genr inty.

ABOUT THE CENTERSCE 1983 THE CENTER HAS BEEN SUPPORTG, FOSTERG AND CELEBRATG THE LGBT MUNY OF NEW YORK CY. FD MORE RMATN ON AND OUR WORK ABOUT THE CENTER. VIS ABOUT THE CENTEROUR MISSNCYBER CENTERCENTER HISTORYRACE EQUYMEDIA CENTERLEARSHIP & STAFFEMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNICORPORATE PARTNERSHIPSANNUAL REPORTS & FANCIAL INFORMATNCONTACT USHOURS & LOTNSEMAPSUPPORT THE CENTER

ABOUT THE CENTERSCE 1983 THE CENTER HAS BEEN SUPPORTG, FOSTERG AND CELEBRATG THE LGBT MUNY OF NEW YORK CY. FD MORE RMATN ON AND OUR WORK ABOUT THE CENTER. VIS ABOUT THE CENTEROUR MISSNCYBER CENTERCENTER HISTORYRACE EQUYMEDIA CENTERLEARSHIP & STAFFEMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNICORPORATE PARTNERSHIPSANNUAL REPORTS & FANCIAL INFORMATNCONTACT USHOURS & LOTNSEMAPSUPPORT THE CENTER

Some lbians may prefer to intify as gay or as gay women. GAY. Adults self-intify as lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr or somethg other than heterosexual.

What each letter LGBTQ means:L: LbianG: GayB: BisexualT: Transgenr (differs om the rt of the acronym as relat to genr inty)Q: Add to the lp at the turn of the century to reprent people intifyg as queer, a more ambiguo term (reclaimed sce s e as a rogatory term for LGBTQ dividuals) allowg people to avoid rigid labels. Those who intify as ace may e the terms "hetero-, " "homo-, " "bi-, " and "pan-" ont of the word "romantic" to scribe who they experience attractn stance, someone who is homo-romantic may be emotnally attracted to someone of the same sex or genr, but not a sexually Month is over.

Fd anizatns wh ee tn, crisis terventn, peer support and rmatn below:Trevor Project: Call 866-488-7386, Text 678-678 24/7 Year round crisis terventn and suici preventn servic to lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr and qutng (LGBTQ) young people ag 400+ chapters across the untry providg nfintial peer support, tn, and advocy to LGBTQ+ people, their parents and fai, and Text Le: Text START to 741-741Free, 24/7 support for those crisis.

BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM IS ASEXUAL GAY

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18.0069 0.949203 18.0386 1.01741 18.0386C1.24851 18.0386 1.36772 17.9194 1.468 17.8191L1.47044 17.8167L1.47048 17.8167L1.47237 17.8147C4.05847 15.0296 7.24136 12.9379 10.3286 11.4415L13.3051 11.9376L13.3049 11.9386H13.3174H13.4174C13.7605 11.9386 13.9823 11.7062 14.0886 11.3873C14.1492 11.2053 14.0859 11.0291 13.976 10.8918C13.8663 10.7546 13.7038 10.6467 13.5411 10.5925L13.5415 10.5914L13.5288 10.5895Z' fill='black' stroke='black' stroke-width='0.15'/></svg></div><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/health" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Health</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD dsgTQs navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><div data-ttid="navigatn__nav-em-in" class="NavigatnItemIn-bpcxDt hLTmGs"><svg xmlns='' width='22' height='22' viewBox='0 0 22 22'><g fill-le='evenodd'><path d='M14.751 4.059c-1.75 0-3.203 1.309-4.016 2.242C9.922 5.368 8.47 4.06 6.72 4.06A4.726 4.726 0 0 0 2 8.779c0 1.866 6.623 8.133 8.652 10.01a.709.709 0 0 0 .996-.038.706.706 0 0 0-.04-.996c-4.905-4.536-8.2-8.304-8.2-8.976A3.315 3.315 0 0 1 6.72 5.467c1.809 0 3.416 2.342 3.432 2.367.261.388.902.391 1.17-.002.015-.023 1.616-2.365 3.43-2.365a3.315 3.315 0 0 1 3.31 3.312c0 .84-3.09 4.474-5.978 7.339a.7.7 0 0 0-.003.995c.133.135.31.209.499.209a.697.697 0 0 0 .496-.205c1.5-1.488 6.395-6.487 6.395-8.338a4.725 4.725 0 0 0-4.72-4.72'/><path d='M6.961 6.549L4.681 8.95a.704.704 0 0 0 1.02.97l2.28-2.4a.704.704 0 0 0-.025-.997.724.724 0 0 0-.995.026'/></g></svg></div><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/sex-love" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Love</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD dsgTQs navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><div data-ttid="navigatn__nav-em-in" class="NavigatnItemIn-bpcxDt hLTmGs"><svg xmlns='' width='22' height='22' viewBox='0 0 22 22'><g fill-le='evenodd'><path d='M13.895 12a.692.692 0 0 0-.691.691 2.413 2.413 0 0 1-2.412 2.411 2.414 2.414 0 0 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class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-hero" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-hero"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="SpaceHolr-oayp fXtswJ ad-height-hold"></div><ma id="ma-ntent" tabx="-1" class="BasePageMaContent-kFvAuh ewPCZH page__ma-ntent"><article class="article ma-ntent" lang="en-US"><div class="ArticlePageLeBackground-EufvU tFsh"><hear class="ContentHearWrapper-clujbs elpfHZ ntent-hear article__ntent-hear"><div data-ttid="ContentHearContaer" class="ContentHearContaer-cGKRbE knDxNq"><div class="ContentHearHedAccredatnWrapper-GFiQf cDNVlV"><div data-ttid="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper" class="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper-cjmSKp lkJlKO"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubric" class="ContentHearRubricBlock-LmpbT dmqhlj"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubricDateBlock" class="ContentHearRubricDateBlock-kAQcZP fTFWxD"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX cJdXjE bric ContentHearRubricContaer-eTudtt iRsSlw"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Love</span></div></div></div><h1 data-ttid="ContentHearHed" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearHed-NCyCC iUEiRd bjcNOB gydgrM">10 Facts About Asexualy That Help Dispel Harmful Myths</h1></div><div class="ContentHearAccredatn-lfctVB etVsnJ ntent-hear__accredatn" data-ttid="ContentHearAccredatn"><div class="ContentHearDek-bIqFFZ bZgCVT">There are a lot of misunrstandgs out there. </div><div class="ContentHearByle-kmPyCa emiglw"><div class="ContentHearByleContent-dpPmNn DRFq"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl ContentHearByl-cZqgyJ bHLeKI"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH gKcujo byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd fzZOZR gnILss byle__preamble">By </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd fPqUbj IWACp eErqIx byle__name-lk button" href="/ntributor/julie-kliegman">Julie Kliegman</a></span></span></p></div><time data-ttid="ContentHearPublishDate" dateTime="2021-11-05T10:00:00-04:00" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearPublishDate-eIBicG iUEiRd danQKH MlCHH">November 5, 2021</time></div></div><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--standard ContentHearAccredatnSocialIns-jorO fPzfaa ntent-hear__social-share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div></div><div class="ContentHearLeadAsset-hGbumP cAlrhp lead-asset ContentHearLeadAssetWrapper-hfXHEc bjtV lead-asset--width-small" data-ttid="ContentHearLeadAsset"><figure class="ContentHearLeadAssetContent-kOfYSG dRGWbI"><div class="ContentHearLeadAssetContentMedia-bLEIpi jjhWdS lead-asset__ntent__photo"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb cZenhb"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jgsWEn"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb cZenhb rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w, 1920w, 2240w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Image may nta Graphics Art and Morn Art" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></div></div></span><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE qDPBn ptn ContentHearLeadAssetCaptn-hPWmSN loMSDX"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd gVwuiM fNaHcW ptn__cred">Valery / Adobe Stock</span></div></div></figure><div data-ttid="ContentHearLeadRailAnchor" class="ContentHearLeadRailAnchor-jYVcDc djtEof"></div></div></div><asi class="PersistentAsiWrapper-VGrR oEIBz persistent-asi persistent-asi--align-left" style="posn:absolute;top:to;height:to" data-ttid="PersistentAsiWrapper"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jNgrSF sticky-box ContentHearPersistentAsi-fsnAmQ dFzKzm"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--has-background ContentHearSocialIns-jzJiyg fgMkJI social-ins--share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></asi></hear></div><div data-attribute-verso-pattern="article-body" class="ArticlePageContentBackGround-cNiFNN kJkLmH article-body__ntent"><div class="ArticlePageChunksContent-etcMtP bwyLBj"><div data-ttid="ArticlePageChunks" class="ArticlePageChunks-fLyCVG eOdfIs"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa UJsCn body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>People are havg more open nversatns about sex the days, but there’s still a lot of misrmatn and nfn that n perpetuate some negative views. And asexualy, meang the lack of sexual attractn, is a equently misunrstood orientatn that people should be aware of. In fact, ’s so monly left out of nversatns about sexual orientatns that asexual wrer <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Julie Sondra Decker</a> even lled her 2015 book about asexualy <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank"><em>The Invisible Orientatn</em></a>. Although books like Decker’s have helped raise awarens of this issue, many people still have misnceptns or don’t unrstand what means to be asexual.</p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-un__slot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><p>To help ph back agast misnceptns that n harm asexual people like me as we seek out love—whether platonilly or romantilly—and fulfillg liv, SELF talked to experts and asexual people about 10 important asexualy facts that n help dispel some of the myths.</p><h2>1. Asexualy is a sexual orientatn.</h2><p>You may have heard about asexualy but not know too much else about . First and foremost, ’s important to unrstand that asexualy is a sexual orientatn like heterosexualy or <a href=">bisexualy</a>—and ’s not lser than any others. Bee we’ll be discsg a lot of terms and sexualy n be plex, ’s helpful to know that sexual orientatn scrib your attractn or absence of attractn to another person whereas genr inty scrib your ternal unrstandg or sense of your genr, i.e., if you are a woman, man, nonbary person, or another genr.</p><h2>2. Beg asexual don’t necsarily mean you don’t have sex.</h2><p>You might assume that ac—a shorthand for anyone who falls unr the asexual umbrella—don’t have sex, but people who lack sexual attractn to others don’t necsarily lack the sire to have sex or a sex drive. “There are arguably so many different ways to be straight or heterosexual. There are siarly so many ways to be asexual,” <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">KJ Cerankowski</a>, Ph.D., an assistant profsor of parative Amerin lerature and genr, sexualy, and femist studi at <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Oberl College</a>, tells SELF.</p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p>Some people dite their general willgns to have sex by intifyg wh different tegori unr the broar asexualy umbrella, acrdg to the <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Asexualy Visibily and Edutn Network</a>: </p><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad---ntent"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot---ntent" data-no-id="rturln"></div></div><ul><li>People who are misexual typilly need a strong emotnal nnectn to feel sexually attracted to someone.</li><li>People who intify as gray asexual fall between asexualy and allosexualy (meang you feel sexually attracted to others), and ually have their personal fns of what this means. For example, some people may experience sexual attractn specific suatns.</li></ul><p>Bee sex tn urs don’t typilly teach about asexualy and there are very few plac to learn about the nuanc of this orientatn, people may not unrstand that you n be asexual whout beg abstent. “I thought lack of sexual attractn meant you were repulsed by sex, therefore I uldn’t be ace,” <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Angela Chen</a>, who is the thor of <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank"><em>Ace</em></a> and has intified as asexual for six years, tells SELF. “And so I thk if I hadn’t had that misnceptn, I would’ve realized I was ace a long time ago. I also enjoy havg sex wh my partner for emotnal reasons and for other reasons that don’t have to do wh sexual attractn, jt as many non-asexual people do,” she says.</p><h2>3. Ac n seek out romance—or not.</h2><p>Everyone has different needs and ias of what they want or don’t want a relatnship, and that’s no different for ac. Some <a href=">asexual people may want to get married</a> while others may not pursue any romantic relatnships. To that end, ac may intify wh a particular romantic orientatn and e the followg terms to scribe themselv, acrdg to the <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Asexualy Visibily and Edutn Network</a>:</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB kNleGZ sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="r5vbip"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="xs6f0p"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa UJsCn body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><ul><li><strong>Heteroromantic</strong> scrib dividuals who seek romantic relatnships wh people of a different genr.</li><li><strong>Homoromantic</strong> scrib those who want romantic relatnships wh people of the same genr.</li><li><strong>Biromantic</strong> scrib people who velop romantic relatnships wh multiple genrs.</li><li><strong>Panromantic</strong> scrib people who have romantic relatnships wh people regardls of genr.</li><li><strong>Aromantic</strong> scrib people who don’t feel romantic attractn to people. Some dividuals feel like they fall somewhere between havg romantic and aromantic feelgs and might intify as grayromantic.</li></ul><p>In addn to intifyg as asexual, Decker says she’s romantic, and bee of this, people mistakenly assume some very hurtful thgs about why she isn’t a relatnship. Acrdg to Decker, people have said thgs like, “You would be a relatnship if you uld. You’re not formg typil relatnships bee you n’t or bee there’s somethg wrong wh you,” Decker tells SELF. The hurtful ias are not only unte, but they further bias agast people who are asexual.</p><h2>4. Asexualy isn’t herently the rult of experiencg sexual trma.</h2><p>Sometim people mistakenly believe that asexualy occurs after a sexual asslt or another trmatic experience. Although some ace people may have experienced sexual trma jt like people who aren’t ace, assumg someone is asexual bee of a negative experience is otherg, Dr. Cerankowski says. “Nothg mak somebody asexual any more than somethg mak somebody heterosexual, or gay or queer any other way,” they say.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-1 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>Furthermore, beg asexual scrib your attractn and not <em>why</em> you feel a certa type of attractn, says Decker. “It’s evable that some portn of the populatn of asexual people is also gog to cross over wh people who have experienced trma bee some portn of every populatn has experienced abe, trma, or sexual asslt,” Decker says.</p><h2>5. Asexualy isn’t a new orientatn.</h2><p>It’s nearly impossible to say how long asexualy has existed, but ’s fely not a novel ia. “The myth that asexualy is a ‘new’ inty is only perpetuated as a way to dimish and to validate the very real ncerns of asexual people,” ace wrer and edor Sherronda J. Brown tells SELF.</p><p>As early as the 1800s, experts wrote about havg a lack of sexual sire, or asexualy, g other nam, such as sexual anthia, acrdg to <em>Asexual Erotics</em>, a 2019 book by <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Ela Przybylo</a>, Ph.D., <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Illois State Universy</a> profsor of English and women’s, genr, and sexualy studi. And later, 1972, femist Lisa Orlando wrote <a href=">“The Asexual Manifto,”</a> a document clearly outlg asexualy terms we’d e today, and explag how differs om beg celibate. <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Ace z (</a>small-circulatn, self-published magaz) have existed for s. <em>P</em>, published 1996, is jt one example. Assumg asexualy is a newer orientatn n alienate olr people who are ace and put the foc solely on younger generatns, which perpetuat the myth that ac are immature or still fdg their way toward sexualy.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="olbjb"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="RecircMostPopularWrapper-bRuGTi jkTTgR recirc-most-popular-wrapper viewport-monor-anchor"><div class="RecircMostPopularConter-jiViNn ktrplG recirc-most-popular-sparrow-trackg hi-asi-ad" 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summary-em--layout-placement-si-by-si summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw iybf" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="The Bt Potassium-Rich Foods to Support Your Heart and Mcl" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM gWAxdE summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ izJpcw summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">The Bt Potassium-Rich Foods to Support Your Heart and Mcl</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY fOzHsm summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH ktuuhV byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd fzZOZR gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Ashia Aubourg</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff iPbsZw summary-em summary-em--has-borr summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-si-by-si summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw iybf" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Actually, ‘Bed Rottg’ Can Be a Very Leg Form of Self-Care" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM gWAxdE summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ izJpcw summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Actually, ‘Bed Rottg’ Can Be a Very Leg Form of Self-Care</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY fOzHsm summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH ktuuhV byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd fzZOZR gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Jenna Ryu</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw bGBSrw ad ad--asi"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--asi" data-no-id="v6h823"></div></div></li></ul><div class="RecircMostPopularFooter-enPjgs fObDao"></div></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="upd50o"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa UJsCn body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>“We n’t transport our current unrstandg of asexualy back time, but what we n see is that there is this history of people who jt didn’t exprs tert sex and who have abstaed om sex for var reasons,” Dr. Cerankowski says.</p><h2>6. People of all racial backgrounds and genrs n be asexual.</h2><p>Oftentim, whe people reprent the ace muny media mentns, which n be misleadg, acrdg to Decker. “People like me, through no accint of my privilege, have had accs to media opportuni and publishg opportuni and whatnot bee whe fac make people thk, ‘Oh, she’s regular,’” Decker says.</p><p>Deep-rooted racism and the lonial history of hyper-sexualizg and eroticizg people of lor also ntribute to the ia that only whe people are asexual, even wh ace spac, Brown says. “The acephobia I experience as a Black person looks very different pared to the acephobia a whe woman might experience, specifilly bee of the history of how whe womanhood has been nstcted as ‘pure’ and worthy of protectn,” Brown says.</p><p>There’s very ltle wi-sle rearch on asexualy, so there really is no good data showg racial reprentatn the asexual muny. The 2019 Ace Communy Survey<sup>1</sup>, a muny-driven web survey that started 2014, polled 10,184 ac and found that 4.5% intified as Asian/Pacific Islanr, 2.8 % intified as Hispanic or Latx, and 1.7% intified as Black. But this is jt one survey, so ’s not clear how accurate is as a reprentatn of the racial diversy of the muny—which is an important thg to pture. Knowg that there are other people of their sk lor or culture who are asexual may help some people feel more wele ace circl like support groups.</p><p>Addnally, cisgenr men are often portrayed as hypersexual popular culture. That msage perpetuat the ia that ’s wrong for them to be asexual, which is a harmful stereotype that uld prevent some people om g out as ace or even unrstandg their own sexual preferenc. While we don’t have exact numbers, more than a third of ac are eher bary men or nonbary/genr-nonnformg, acrdg to the 2019 Ace Communy Survey<sup>1</sup>. But people assigned female at birth are most often the ace voic found media pictns, acrdg to Ben Kantt, a transmascule ace. “There’s more of a bent towards, I would say, a cis female and female-aligned nonbary experience,” Kantt tells SELF. “There do seem to be a general lack of perspectiv om nonaligned or male or mascule-aligned people.”</p><h2>7. Ac n and do start fai.</h2><p>Asexual people may not experience sexual attractn to others (and remember, that’s not necsarily for the se for all ac, like gray asexual people!), but that don’t mean that they don’t want to have a partner, get married, and/or have children. David Jay, founr of the Asexualy and Visibily Edutn Network, has known his entire life that he wanted kids—even though he don’t want a romantic partner. “I thk there’s a misnceptn that if you don’t want sex, you don’t want kids,” he tells SELF. “Or if you don’t experience sexual attractn, you don’t want kids. I n tell you those thgs are really different,” he says.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="i2gevv"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="RecircMostPopularWrapper-bRuGTi jkTTgR recirc-most-popular-wrapper viewport-monor-anchor"><div class="RecircMostPopularConter-jiViNn ktrplG recirc-most-popular-sparrow-trackg hi-asi-ad" data-most-popular-id="mod-most-popular-575"><div class="RecircMostPopularHeadg-iVzhzt fIrqYK">Most Popular</div><ul 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data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">The Bt Retol Eye Creams, Acrdg to Dermatologists</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY fOzHsm summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH ktuuhV byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd fzZOZR gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Sara Coughl</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff iPbsZw summary-em summary-em--has-borr summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-si-by-si summary-em--layout-posn-image-left 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data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH ktuuhV byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd fzZOZR gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Ashia Aubourg</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff iPbsZw summary-em summary-em--has-borr summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-si-by-si summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-33-66 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw iybf" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg egpoQR summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Actually, ‘Bed Rottg’ Can Be a Very Leg Form of Self-Care" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a 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class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd fzZOZR gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Jenna Ryu</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw bGBSrw ad ad--asi"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--asi" data-no-id="sm7fge"></div></div></li></ul><div class="RecircMostPopularFooter-enPjgs fObDao"></div></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="97n5ul"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa UJsCn body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>And for ace people, fai e all forms, jt as they do for people who have sexual attractn. For example, some people may have kids wh their ace or allosexual partner or they may choose to, say, adopt by themselv. “The rout to fdg fay and makg nnectns are as multudo and varied as human sexualy self,” Brown says.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-2 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>For Jay, buildg that fay volved the cisn to live a three-parent hoehold and adopt Octavia, the birth dghter of a uple wh whom he is close iends. It also volved movg to San Francis where the birth parents lived and where third-parent adoptn is legal.</p><h2>8. Ac n be kky.</h2><p>Kk is not synonymo wh sex self, and ’s possible to actively <a href=">seek out, participate , and enjoy kk</a> whout necsarily participatg what some people tradnally might thk of as sexual activy. Instead, kk is primarily about negotiatg nsent. It n volve thgs like role-playg and bondage, for example.</p><p>“I thk many people thk about kk as this herently sexual practice. But there are ac who are kky and they say that they like bee the physil sensatns are tertg. Or people thk the emotnal dynamics or the role play is tertg even if their tert is not based on sexual attractn,” Chen says.</p><p>Ultimately, many people, whether ace or not, might be drawn to kk bee the spac allow them to explore power dynamics and boundari, Dr. Przybylo explas.</p><h2>9. Ac al wh discrimatn.</h2><p>“A lot of the issu that we ac face are not necsarily policy based, but they’re very much cultural attus that society has which beg ace is nsired abnormal,” Chen says. That’s not to say that some asexual people don’t experience policy-based discrimatn related to other aspects of their inti, for example, like if they are gay or trans.</p><p>“We’re kd of looked at as if there is somethg wrong wh ,” Decker says of the discrimatory attus people have about asexualy. In rponse to her book, one person wrote her a letter sayg, “You need to get yourself to a psychologist bee what you’re alg wh is not normal and you have to fix yourself right away,” Decker rells.</p><p>One of the most ser areas of potential discrimatn relat to fdg mental health servic, acrdg to Decker. Some therapists aren’t knowledgeable about asexualy, and ac may have trouble fdg clive therapists who reaffirm their inty.</p><p>“It is very hard to accs marriage unselg, relatnship unselg, and mental health servic if you’re alg wh a profsnal who is not up on unrstandg asexualy and assum ’s the maniftatn of a disorr,” Decker says. “I’ve heard om people who have been medited bee they’re scribg asexualy and the therapist or the mental health practner don’t know what to ll bis low sex drive and thks that they mt want a higher sex drive,” she says.</p><h2>10. There’s a arth of accurate, affirmg pop culture reprentatn for ac.</h2><p>It’s important for ac to see themselv mastream pop culture orr to feel accepted. Seeg that ’s possible to have an enjoyable and fulfillg life whout beg sexually attracted to others helps normalize asexualy—but there’s historilly been very ltle reprentatn of asexualy media like TV. Some might view the TV character Todd Chavez (the only asexual character on TV 2020, acrdg to GLAAD<sup>2</sup>) om the now-nceled <em>BoJack Horseman</em> as the pnacle of asexualy. Chavez was an enarg but immature and reckls sikick, which didn’t make him an ial ambassador for all asexual people, who often stggle to be taken serly as is. But he was the most proment reprentatn we had on TV recently—and he helped me realize I was ace. His uncertaty surroundg physil affectn and worry that he might be abnormal sce he felt nothg ronated wh me a way that spurred me to rearch asexualy. And I’m not alone feelg this way.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-3 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>“I unironilly thk that Todd Chavez changed my life a ltle b,” Kantt says. “That is so far the only posive asexual reprentatn I’ve seen what I would nsir mastream media.” Kantt says they’ve found more asexual reprentatn var books, but those often have smaller dienc than a h Netflix show.</p><p>We’re “diggg the bottom of trash ns tryg to fd reprentatn,” Decker says. “I would like to see more plited narrativ about asexual people so we n start to have a more nuanced unrstandg of what n look like.”</p><p><strong>Sourc</strong>:</p><ol><li><a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">Ace Communy Survey, 2019 Asexual Communy Survey Summary Report</a></li><li><a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">GLAAD, Where We Are On TV, 2020-2021</a></li></ol><p><strong>Related</strong>:</p><ul><li><a href=">This Is What It’s Like to Come Out Your 30s or Later</a></li><li><a href=">19 Feelgs About Sex and Intimacy That Are Totally Normal Right Now</a></li><li><a href=">8 Signs a Sex Therapist Might Improve Your Life (and How to Fd One)</a></li></ul></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="up7"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 PaywallInleBarrierWhWrapperGrid-fyrGfS kLQIUk grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="body body__le-barrier article__body"><div class="ntaer ntaer--body"><div class="ntaer--body-ner"><asi class="PaywallInleBarrierWrapper-iBnuqk lfXXa-D" data-ttid="PaywallInleBarrierWrapper"><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--paywall-le-barrier" role="prentatn" aria-live="pole" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--paywall-le-barrier"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></asi></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ContentWrapperGrid-fvkmBv brYtrA grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="body body__ntaer"><div class="ntaer ntaer--body"><div class="ntaer--body-ner"></div></div></div></div></div></div></article><div class="ContentFooterWrapper-jVNdRG dTJkpP ArticlePageContentFooterGrid-ccsXYy eMZRHU article-body__footer"><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="ContributorsWrapper-eNpWFu hEUvfU ntributors" data-ttid="Contributors"><div class="ContributorBWrapper-bnVHbt fTIPSP"><div class="ContributorBContent-ubQdr jZTSSi"><div class="ContributorBHear-ledood XOIEx"></div><div class="ContributorBB-fBolsO wPiP"><a href="/ntributor/julie-kliegman">Julie Kliegman</a> is a journalist based Queens, New York. 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summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm qQT" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Are You Dealg Wh a Narcissist or Jt an Asshole?" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-4" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Are You Dealg Wh a Narcissist or Jt an Asshole?</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">There’s a difference between sensive behavr and straight up manipulatn.</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff gjCHLu summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm qQT" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-5" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Keke Palmer Got Real About the Prsure of Breastfeedg: It’s Been a ‘Doozy’" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-5" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Keke Palmer Got Real About the Prsure of Breastfeedg: It’s Been a ‘Doozy’</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">“It isn’t that easy. And if is for you, wonrful. But I thk more often than not, ’s difficult.”</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff gjCHLu summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm qQT" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-6" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="How to Have Safe Sex Wh Genal Herp" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-6" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">How to Have Safe Sex Wh Genal Herp</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">There’s a ton of misrmatn around this super-mon STI—but a diagnosis don’t spell doom for your hookups.</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff gjCHLu summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm qQT" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-7" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="How to Use a Fns Tracker Whout Lettg It Rule Your Life" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-7" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">How to Use a Fns Tracker Whout Lettg It Rule Your Life</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">The nstant remrs to get more steps or burn more lori n be triggerg—pecially for perfectnists.</div></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff gjCHLu summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm qQT" role="button" tabx="0"><div class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-8" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz gKnDpj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="7 Therapist Red Flags You Should Never Ignore" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-8" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">7 Therapist Red Flags You Should Never Ignore</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">There are some not-so-obv thgs a mental health profsnal should never do.</div></div></div></div><div class="SummaryCollectnGridToActnWrapper-gnReGN eGayfk"></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="TaboolaWrapper-hMVdpE iYfBhy"><div class="TaboolaWidgetWrapper-egPIjc hkSrgt TaboolaWidget-eUSdED hQCCRa" data-ttid="TaboolaWidgetWrapper"><div 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