The Curse of an Attractn to Olr Gay Men | Psychology Today

Contents:

• NEW WEB SERI ‘THE DISAPPOTMENTS’ LOOKS AT MIDDLE-AGED GAY MEN
• STIGMA AND FAY RELATNSHIPS OF MIDDLE-AGED GAY MEN REVERY
• THE CURSE OF AN ATTRACTN TO OLR GAY MEN
• GAY, MIDDLE-AGED, AND LONELY AS HELL
• THE ADULT LIFE URSE AND HOMOSEXUAL INTY MIDLIFE GAY MEN
• GAY MEN MIDDLE AGED STOCK PHOTOS AND IMAG
• AGE DIFFERENC GAY COUPL
• A GAY MAN AT MIDLIFE PONRS BEG LONELY AND ‘INVISIBLE’
• GAY MEN MID-LIFE: NOW WHAT?
• LBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL AND TRANSGENR AGG

NEW WEB SERI ‘THE DISAPPOTMENTS’ LOOKS AT MIDDLE-AGED GAY MEN

” As the creator “The Disappotments, ” Burns is quick to pot out that gay men who are middle age face a lot that their unterparts might not.

“The challenge is that some people don’t thk about the future, how they will set themselv up for retirement I thk the gay muny, maybe bee of what happened wh the AIDS crisis, there are not a lot of role mols for those our 40s, 50s, 60s and 70s. AbstractThe primary objective of this study was to explore how middle-aged gay men revery pe wh stigma and fay relatnships. For gay men, perceptns of acceptance of their sexual orientatn and gree of social nnectedns n play a role their revery om alhol and substance e disorrs.

Yet gay men may have a more difficult time accsg certa fay-level health rourc bee their fai of orig may stigmatize, reject or silence them on acunt of their sexual orientatn. Future rearch should explore how to rporate faial support to gay men’s revery, addrs ongog ternalized stigma, and velop a social rponse to stigma, rather than leavg to dividuals to nont on their own. Keywords: Gay Men, Revery, Stigma, Mory Strs, Agg, Fay SupportIntroductnGay men often enter treatment wh more severe substance abe and mental health problems than heterosexual people (Butler Center for Rearch, 2013; Green & Feste, 2012).

STIGMA AND FAY RELATNSHIPS OF MIDDLE-AGED GAY MEN REVERY

For gay men, perceptns of acceptance of their sexual orientatn and gree of social nnectedns also play a role their revery (Milliger & Young, 1990). Yet gay men may have a more difficult time accsg certa fay-level health rourc bee their fai of orig may stigmatize, reject or silence them on acunt of their sexual orientatn (Diaz, 1998; Frost & Meyer, 2009). A fay’s stigmatizatn of gay sexual orientatn mak difficult for them to provi the type of emotnal support need by gay men men’s challenge wh stigma extends beyond faial relatnships.

Stigma and discrimatn characterize the social, legal, and polil ntext which gay men make choic and start their revery om alhol or other substance e disorrs. Some gay men experience stigma, discrimatn, and vlence (Instute of Medice [IOM], 2011), and hence experience more social strs than their heterosexual unterparts (Conron, Mimiaga, & Lanrs, 2010; Frost, Lehavot, & Meyer, 2015; Mays & Cochran, 2001; Meyer, 2003). This may expla part why studi show that gay men experience higher rat of psychiatric morbidy and poor or fair self-rated health than their heterosexual unterparts (McLghl, Hatzenbuehler, Xuan, & Conron, 2012; Meyer, Dietrich, & Schwartz, 2008; Wallace, Cochran, Durazo, & Ford, 2011).

A recent study monstrated that gay youth raised highly stigmatizg environments had a blunted rtisol rponse to strs, leadg rearchers to nclu that social excln may exert blogil effects ak to trmatic life experienc (Hatzenbuehler & McLghl, 2014). E., vigilance, chronilly activat a person’s psychologil strs rpons, which turn leads to negative health out (IOM, 2002; Meyer, 2003; Meyer et al., 2008) know that some gay men report abg alhol and other substanc to pe wh sexual stigma and fay rejectn, pecially their youth and as young adults (Author, 2014; Kertzner, 2001; K, 1991; McAdams-Mahmoud et al., 2014; Ryan, Huebner, Diaz, & Sanchez, 2009).

THE CURSE OF AN ATTRACTN TO OLR GAY MEN

Yet the lerature on pg among gay men tends to foc on younger men (McDavt et al., 2008) or clu participants whose average age is below middle age (Christman, 2012). Middle- aged gay men’s velopmental trajectory differs om that of younger horts terms of when they first regnized their same-sex attractn and then self-intified as gay (Floyd & Bakeman, 2006). In the Uned Stat, their historil ntext also differs om that of younger horts: the men were adolcents and young adults the 1960s and 1970s and would have wnsed the birth of the gay rights movement, followed by the AIDS epimic of the 1980s as well as the peak of AIDS-related aths between 1987 and 1996 (Rosenfeld, Bartlam, & Smh, 2012).

All the factors shaped middle-aged gay men’s experienc of stigma, fay relatnships, alhol and substance e, and how they thk about revery unrstand how middle-aged gay men revery experience and pe wh stigma, we terviewed a multiethnic hort of gay men and looked at the chang their pg skills as they transned om young adulthood to middle age and om alhol mise to revery. We look at the range of experienc that middle-aged gay men revery have of their stigmatized inti and how their abily to pe wh stigma changed. If we unrstand the impact and ternalizatn of stigma, then we n provi culturally relevant support for middle-aged gay men revery who nont ongog stigma.

Theoretil Framework: Mory Strs TheoryMory strs theory is an ial theoretil amework for terpretg the impact of strs the liv of the gay men our study.

GAY, MIDDLE-AGED, AND LONELY AS HELL

Gay inty is a stigmatized inty: gay men experience excs strs on acunt of their social posn as sexual mori and this strs is unique to them, chronic, and social gay dividuals who do experience stigma, mory strs typilly unfolds the followg manner: 1) there is a strsful event or ndn of a chronic nature such as relig nmnatn, fay rejectn, or ncealment of sexual orientatn; 2) those affected by this strs start to expect the events and therefore bee more vigilant; 3) over time, some of the negative attus bee ternalized (Meyer, 2003). ParticipantsWe reced middle-aged gay men g a variety of methods such as postg flyers at 12-step centers, ntactg agenci throughout Los Angel County that serve gay men, and cha samplg (N = 30). We partnered wh a muny-based anizatn that operat three alhol and substance abe centers Los Angel County that clus programmg targetg gay, lbian, bisexual, and transgenr populatns.

THE ADULT LIFE URSE AND HOMOSEXUAL INTY MIDLIFE GAY MEN

Participants had to meet the followg cln creria: 1) self-intify as Ain Amerin/Black, Lato, or Whe men; 2) self-intify as gay; 3) aged 50–64; 4) self-report a history of alhol abe or pennce; 5) report beg sober for at least the last 30 days; and 6) have ntact wh fay and iends at least once per persons nductg the terviews had experience workg wh the populatn and nductg terviews wh them. This ductive approach helps to unrstand what the participants’ experienc wh people and social stctur mean to them as middle-aged gay men revery, as opposed to what the experienc would mean to people who are neher stigmatized nor revery (Pudphat, 2006).

F., was stmental ensurg that the them we veloped reflected the data, given his extensive experience workg wh gay men revery.

We analyzed and terpreted, g Mory Strs Theory, the var dimensns and sourc of strs associated wh sexual orientatn stigma that middle-aged gay men revery reported. Junr, a 51 year old Lato, remembers beg told that “beg gay is wrong, ” and that beg gay meant that he was “posssed” and “gog to hell.

GAY MEN MIDDLE AGED STOCK PHOTOS AND IMAG

” Amo, a 59 years old Lato Vietnam veteran, reported siar experienc: “[I felt] shame and guilt [for] beg gay bee of the Roman Catholic Church where I grew up. ” He also reported more than one stigmatized inty: “I jt had this guilt… and shame bee of the way I was brought up, and the prejudic of beg, you know, my beg Lato and beg gay Pasana, California at that time.

He said, “[Homosexualy] was always tght agast [ the church], so I figured one, beg prejudice agast for my lor and then another for my sexual orientatn was a b much, you know what I’m sayg? Frank, a 51-year-old Whe male, was joggg wh his father when he was a sophomore high school and durg their n he said to his father, “I thk I’m a homosexual.

AGE DIFFERENC GAY COUPL

I abandoned the fay for a long time bee I jt didn’t wanna – well, first started off I didn’t wanna molt my brothers bee that’s what I was told – that’s what gay men do.

G., tablished heterosexual norms, social ctoms, religo valu), which led them to feel shame and guilt, and even to believe that gay men sexually abe children. Sometim you have to keep drkg and drkg to try to drown out the negativy and as a rult you actually [end up] highlight[g] the negativy bee now, not only are you gay, but you’re a dg addict [too].

A GAY MAN AT MIDLIFE PONRS BEG LONELY AND ‘INVISIBLE’

B Revery and pg Today, most participants tell a different story about how they regard their sexual inty and how they handle their fay, iends, and strangers’ negative reactns and attus directed at them bee they are gay. ’He went on to share how he went to church a few years ago wh his father but did not take munn bee “I don’t want to take munn om those people [who supported Proposn 8 to ban gay marriage California].

His sobriety has to do wh his “tst and fah my higher power… the more of I have, the easier is for me to al wh the rough spots that e the future…” He giv an example of beg at the gym and hearg homophobic remarks. ”Frank and Joe’s stori mirror that of other participants about how revery has affected the way which they rpond to homophobia and stigma. The followg quot suggt that agg do not always migate feelgs of Mike, a 55 year old Ain-Amerin was asked, “At what pot did you feel you had that self acceptance, ” he replied, “Sometim I still have problems wh my gayns, ” and as far his iends’ knowg whether he’s gay, he said, “The gay on do [know that I’m gay]” but that he don’t tell his “heterosexual iends about my sexualy” bee “It’s not like I’m tryg to jump to bed wh them.

GAY MEN MID-LIFE: NOW WHAT?

My self-hatred and self-loathg is always somewhere close to the surface, but I don’t want this to be a wasted life, so I’m hopg I n do somethg to help the gay muny [by participatg this terview] Junr was asked when did he fally accept his beg gay, he felt that he uld not answer the qutn, and the middle of his rponse he got upset wh himself bee he still had not accepted himself. He only recently started feelg better about beg gay, and the posive feelgs were precipated by Print Obama’s electn and attus toward gays the ary.

DiscsnSiar to other studi on sexual mori and alhol and substance abe, our rults show the trimental effect of fay rejectn and stigma on the emotnal wellbeg and mental health of gay men (Dillon, De La Rosa, Sastre, & Ibañez, 2013; Mulia, Ye, Zemore, & Greenfield, 2008; Ryan et al., 2009).

However, neher age nor revery always amelrated middle-aged gay men’s self-stigma, nor did fai always bee more acceptg over time. Revery, at least for some men, provid an environment which they were able to nont their feelgs of shame and guilt over their sexual inty and achieve a level of wh Stigma through ReveryParticipatn AA, for example, helped some of the participants to velop new ways of pg wh their experienc of stigma: as young adults they abed alhol and dgs, but now as middle-aged adults revery they rely on their higher power when they enunter stigmatizg suatns or feel sorry for people who disapprove of them for beg gay.

LBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL AND TRANSGENR AGG

We mt note, however, that one of the ways which AA helps gay men particular is by enablg them to bee more fortable wh, and acceptg of, their sexual orientatn. (2008) which men reported that admtg their same-sex sexual activy and g to terms wh their homosexualy or bisexualy was necsary for revery. We suggt that for the participants our study, the opportuny to tablish a new social support system through AA provid some relief om the chronic stigma and related strs unique to them as gay and Health ConsequencInternalized stigma has negative health implitns for dividuals and the public.

Connectg Middle-aged Gay Men wh their FaiThe importance of fay support, pecially for middle-aged gay men revery, warrants further attentn than has received to date. While this may not be surprisg for gay youth or young adults, do serve as a stark remr of the ongog importance of fay acceptance across the lifpan: the men’s lookg to their fai for acceptance and support do not end when they enter middle age.