When I realized I was gay, all of that hatred that I showed to others turned on myself. I hate gay people, I am gay — th, I need to not be gay.
Contents:
- SELF-LOATHG AMONG GAY PEOPLE IS NOTHG NEW. WE’RE OVERWHELMED BY
- SELF-HATRED AND THE STGGL OF BEG GAY
- THE MYTH OF THE VLENT, SELF-HATG GAY HOMOPHOBE
- WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A GAY PERSON GROWS UP AN ANTI-GAY HOME
SELF-LOATHG AMONG GAY PEOPLE IS NOTHG NEW. WE’RE OVERWHELMED BY
So much foc has been on wng rights that we’ve missed the sufferg of those still stgglg wh gay shame, wr Matthew Todd, a former edor of Attu magaze * gay self hatred *
” Lookg back, I'd squirm my seat when this topic would e up; I myself was unfortable nontg their homophobia bee I had yet to nont my own ternalized homophobia. As I’ve grown to unrstand om my iends, fellow LGBTQ muny members, lleagu, and clicians, ternalized homophobia is what happens when we take the bias, prejudic, and hatred towards gay folks rerced by society (aka societal homophobia) and turn the bias ward back on ourselv.
Internalized homophobia n show up the form of self-hatred, shame, fear, anxiety, and prsn for many gay clients, whether we are out of the closet or not. I should also acknowledge there is bate wh the psychologil and scientific muny as to the extent that this impacts gay and lbian dividuals and if we should e the term "ternalized homophobia" or stead nstct and redirect our attentn stead towards "more salient issu of cultural and stutnalized heterosexism.
Alan Downs scrib the ternalizatn of homophobia his book, The Velvet Rage: Overg the pa of growg up gay a straight man's world. Colloquially, ternalized homophobia is a topic I've seen performed on stage a number of tim recently Los Angel, where wrers and edians alike scribe the pa of livg the closet as young teens. Jt this weekend I attend a theatril performance lled Margalized, where a queer wrg group told stori of the ternalized shame of their childhoods as gay folks.
SELF-HATRED AND THE STGGL OF BEG GAY
* gay self hatred *
Many queer folks I know have gone through perds before g out where we ourselv participated homophobia or belonged to homophobic spac. I also want to acknowledge that while this post is focg on ternalized homophobia, much of n also apply to ternalized transphobia, which has siar roots societal norms around what is normative society, but wh regards to genr. Moreover, therapists themselv may posss bias they have ternalized towards their LGBTQIA clients that they are unaware of, given how eply entrenched they are wh , gay or not.
Psychology Today blogger Joe Kort wr about this, notg that many therapists, while affirmg of their LGBTQIA clients, may not be aware of "the sid role that ternalized homophobia plays many of the people’s liv. Here’s what I want to get across about ternalized homophobia: touch all of one way or another, whether or not we’re nsc of .
THE MYTH OF THE VLENT, SELF-HATG GAY HOMOPHOBE
Dismantlg eply entrenched systemic homophobia is a plited unrtakg, one I n’t pretend to break down and eradite through one post alone. But dismantlg systemilly starts wh , beg aware of ourselv, by acknowledgg homophobia exists all of , to one extent or another, gay or straight and across racial and socenomic l.
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A GAY PERSON GROWS UP AN ANTI-GAY HOME
I had a ar gay iend who is very much an outspoken champn of gay rights say to me once, “No one lik lbians” and then chuckle, “You know what I mean, Wh.
) It's hard to enurage our clients to let go of self-hatred, self-loathg, ternalized rage, and shame if we don't unrstand the role homophobia plays s velopment. Revis the mdful exercise we began wh and pse and take a few moments, wre down some reflectns, or strike up a nversatn wh your lleagu about homophobia our muni, our fai, and our own hearts and mds. If Ethan Stabl, the 20-year-old man nvicted on Monday of planng to kill atten of a lol gay pri event Cumbria, was really bisexual as he claimed urt, why would he want to hurt other LGBT people?