How to Talk to Your Son About Beg Gay - Advice for Men om Dave Holm

Contents:

• WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"
• HOW TO SUPPORT YOUR GAY CHILD
• MY SON MIGHT BE GAY. WHAT SHOULD I SAY TO HIM?
• MANY PARENTS STGGLE TO ADJT AFTER LEARNG CHILD IS GAY, STUDY FDS
• WHEN YOUR CHILD IS GAY
• THIS IS HOW I FELT WHEN MY SON TOLD ME HE WAS GAY
• GAY SUPPORT: WHERE TO FD LGBT HELP AND SUPPORT GROUPS
• YOUR CHILD JT TOLD YOU HE'S GAY. NOW WHAT?
• IS YOUR CHILD GAY?
• I NNOT AL WH FACT MY SON IS GAY
• IS MY SON GAY OR IS A PHASE?

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"

When parents learn that their child is gay, lbian, bisexual, or transgenr, they n experience a range of emotns. As a matter of fact, you might someday look back and fd that you are grateful for the experience of havg a gay or lbian child.

Well, my study of 65 fai of gay and lbian youth for the book, Comg Out, Comg Home: Helpg Fai Adjt to a Gay or Lbian Child, I found that some parents get to the pot where they believe that the experience of havg a gay child actually ma them a better person—more open-md and sensive to the needs of others, particularly those other mory groups. If you jt found out your child is gay, lbian, bisexual, or transgenr, you may be thkg that such ias are prepostero. The tstworthy nfidants let them vent but also rrected some of the misperceptns they absorbed om society, such as that gay people are lonely, unhappy, promiscuo, not fay-oriented, unable to have children, or sted for an unhappy life.

HOW TO SUPPORT YOUR GAY CHILD

Contact Parents, Fay, and Friends of Lbians and Gays (PFLAG).

List of Helpful Books for Parents of Gay and Lbian Children.

Straight Parents Gay Children: Keepg Fai Together (revised edn).

MY SON MIGHT BE GAY. WHAT SHOULD I SAY TO HIM?

Beyond Acceptance: Parents of Lbians, and Gays Talk About Their Experienc. Somethg to Tell You: The Road Fai Travel when a Child is Gay.

Comg Out, Comg Home: Helpg Fai Adjt to a Gay or Lbian Child.

Fortunate Fai: Catholic fai wh lbian dghters and gay sons.

MANY PARENTS STGGLE TO ADJT AFTER LEARNG CHILD IS GAY, STUDY FDS

Mom, Dad, I'm Gay: How Fai Negotiate Comg Out. They immediately clocked as gay, while we immediately clocked them as we warmed up to another, one mom anxly said: "I have a qutn: I am pretty sure my son is gay, but I don't know what to do.

"For example, if someone the word "gay" place of "stupid, " remd them that the two are not terchangeable, and suggt they should say what they actually mean stead. "The rourc n help:PFLAG: The untry’s largt anizatn ung parents, fai, and alli wh people who are lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, and Spectm: Offers groups, trag, and rourc promotg genr sensivy and cln for all youthGLBT Natnal Rource Database: LGBTQ+ digal directory of rourcNatnal Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network: Directory of therapists/unselors who are people of lorNatnal LGBTQ Task Force: The progrsive advocy arm of the LGBTQ+ movementDurg LGBTQ Pri Month, TODAY is sharg the muny’s history, pa, joy and what’s next for the movement.

As I relayed When Your Child Is Gay: What You Need To Know (Sterlg, 2016), I found out that my son was gay om a note wh our son's name entwed wh another boy's, surround by a heart.

WHEN YOUR CHILD IS GAY

I had spected at tim that he was gay. Had I asked him if he were gay when he was 13, he probably would have fensively said "No! San Berland, the mother of a gay son who ach parents of LGBTQ kids, utn, "It's not a good ia to ask.

Acrdg to my -thor, psychiatrist Jonathan Tobk, "Gay children feel credibly vulnerable when g out to their parents, and tak time to work up the urage to do this. Mol acceptance by not g gay slurs and never tellg gay jok. Watch gay-themed shows together such as "The Fosters" and "Will and Grace.

THIS IS HOW I FELT WHEN MY SON TOLD ME HE WAS GAY

" How do they pict gay people? React kdly to gay people the news or on televisn. In a way, you have an advantage by not knowg; giv you more time to prepare for the day (if ever) when he do reveal he's gay.

But providg support isn't always easy — pecially if you are the parent of a lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr or qutng (LGBTQ) child.

Advote for a gay-straight alliance (GSA), which has been shown to make schools safer and boost amic performance among LGBTQ stunts. Team up wh a pediatrician, a unselor at school, close fay members and even muny anizatns — for example, Parents, Fai and Friends of Lbians and Gays (PFLAG) — if you’re havg trouble gog alone.

GAY SUPPORT: WHERE TO FD LGBT HELP AND SUPPORT GROUPS

Parents, Fai and Friends of Lbian and Gays (PFLAG).

In our town, we are the gay "go-to" people — pecially for parents and grandparents of gay kids. " Beg openly gay may be the most urageo choice your son, dghter, grandson or granddghter will ever make. "I don't know how to tell iends and fay about my gay kid or grandkid.

Wh more people livg openly, seems that nearly everyone knows someone gay. Nearly everyone knows and lik/lov someone gay.

YOUR CHILD JT TOLD YOU HE'S GAY. NOW WHAT?

"Now that I know my kid is gay, I'm ncerned about same-sex sleepovers. " If the ia of your dghter sleepg wh her boyiend unr your own roof at the age of 16 sets off every bad parentg bell the universe for you, hold your gay son or dghter to the same standards.

We're sure he would e out if only he didn't thk his mom hadn't already submted her résumé for an open posn at PFLAG, which stands for Parents, Fay & Friends of Lbians and Gays.

IS YOUR CHILD GAY?

"I was jt settlg to the gay thg and now she tells me she lik a boy. I recently checked wh a iend about her gay high school senr. "I really want him to meet some other nice gay people.

Let's assume 1 10 is gay. That's two dozen gay kids (25 ls your own). Not jt the Gay-Straight Alliance, although this is a great start.

I NNOT AL WH FACT MY SON IS GAY

What about volunteerg for a gay teen hotle or homels shelter? Y, gay people are more visible than ever before. But is equally te that homophobia ns rampant and ep this untry.

Gay kids need lots of .

IS MY SON GAY OR IS A PHASE?

Joan Garry is a natnally regnized gay rights lear and the former print of the Gay & Lbian Alliance Agast Defamatn (GLAAD).