An open letter to my fellow whe gay cis men: there should be no "returng to normal" after this.
Contents:
- A MISF GAY REVEALS: WHAT’S LIKE TO NOT F IN WH YOUR COMMUNY?
- “I DON’T FEEL LIKE I BELONG TO THE GAY COMMUNY AND IT’S DEVASTATG ME.”
- GAY STEREOTYP CAN RU MEN’S LIV, IT'S TIME TO EMBRACE ALL EXPRSNS OF INTY
- GAY CULTURE HAS GROWN TOXIC WH UNCHECKED PRIVILEGE. IT'S TIME FOR TO RET
A MISF GAY REVEALS: WHAT’S LIKE TO NOT F IN WH YOUR COMMUNY?
In this week’s stallment of ¡Hola Papi!, John Pl Brammer addrs that funny thg we ll “gay culture.” * i don't fit into the gay community *
Way back the late 1970s, I went to my very first gay bars, assumg I’d be weled wh arms and legs akimbo. This was way before Inter and hookup apps, so gay guys went to the bars and diss primarily to get picked up, not to celebrate each other’s w or knowledge.
At this pot, when the rtoonishly macho dis group Village People were a sensatn, many gays were affectg an impossibly manly pose, whereas I was scrawny, had bad sk and terrible hair, and wore zippered turtlenecks that my mother had procured me om the Sears-Roebuck talogue when I was high school.
In 1987, I walked to my first meetg of ACT UP—the AIDS activist group—and was happy to fd that the grassroots anizatn spanned var threads of the muny, cludg lbians, who aren’t always the same room wh gay men. But the ’90s, the macho thg took over aga, and sudnly all the guys at the Roxy dance club on gay Saturdays had bulgg pecs and were obssively anx to show them.
“I DON’T FEEL LIKE I BELONG TO THE GAY COMMUNY AND IT’S DEVASTATG ME.”
Too often, the LGBTQ muny dictat what kd of queer you’re supposed to be, addg to the opprsn you already get om a homophobic society. Gays have to be “straight-actg” (whatever that means), trans people have to pass and be tasteful, and so on, until the only possible act of liberatn is breakg ee om queer le.
Even as a wrer for the Village Voice, I wasn’t embraced by the rporate gay tablishment, seeg as I wasn’t ved, honored, or acknowledged. I wore zany thrift store cloth, shook up the celebry closet, and had no patience for “well-meang, ” self-featg gays, pecially on wh fay money or entlement.
GAY STEREOTYP CAN RU MEN’S LIV, IT'S TIME TO EMBRACE ALL EXPRSNS OF INTY
I was pretty uy and not the kd of gay they wanted to promote—or even give support to, when I asked for —and took years for the powers that be to take note of me. Sce then, the muny has e around—drag queens were once banned om the Pri para, but now rporate gays vet anyone om Drag Race—so I’ve ma stris as a left-of-center gay who do feel like part of a muny the days.
GAY CULTURE HAS GROWN TOXIC WH UNCHECKED PRIVILEGE. IT'S TIME FOR TO RET
What’s more, gays are people, flaws and all, and if I had to actually achieve somethg and show up a lot of Netflix documentari orr to get regnized, so be .
I get that like wh relign, ph to have to form some aln agast "hate" and how certa beliefs mak people who are gay, straight, bisexual etc. That beg exclively gay mak me not clive or radil enough anymore, that I'm sexist or transphobic for not beg terted touchg penis, that beg bi or pan is jt 'more open-md'. Or even other gay people beg SO obssed wh their sexualy, that they qutn me if I like a male character or a straight uple fictn.
While gay pri events are important durg, for example, a ban on gay marriage or when a pany discrimat agast LGBTQ employe, 's really unnecsary any other suatn. Where we n't marry, where we are facg a plebisce that will undoubtably turn very nasty and allow the homophob to have ee reign.