What to say when someone tells you they are gay: Get some perspective on what to say when someone tells you they are gay
Contents:
- HOW TO TELL IF YOUR BOYIEND IS GAY
- IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?
- YOUR CHILD JT TOLD YOU HE'S GAY. NOW WHAT?
- HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY
- HE IS GAY / HE IS A GAY.
- JAGS' MAXEN IS FIRST MALE AMERIN PRO SPORTS ACH TO E OUT AS GAY
- MY SON TOLD FRIENDS HE’S GAY. HE TELLS ME HE WAS JOKG.
- MY BOYIEND MSAGED SOMEONE ON A GAY SE. DO THAT MEAN HE’S GAY?
- RPONDG TO ADULT CHILD WHO SAYS HE’S GAY
- IS HE GAY?
- HOW TO COPE WHEN YOUR SPOE COM OUT AS GAY
- RPONDG TO TEEN CHILD WHO SAYS HE’S GAY
- HOW TO RPOND WHEN SOMEONE SAYS, 'I'M GAY'
HOW TO TELL IF YOUR BOYIEND IS GAY
He says he’s bisexual, but I’m worried he’s actually gay. * he said he's gay *
However, what I am ncerned about is that he is g me as a steppg stone to acknowledgg to himself that he is gay, or that he wants to be a heterosexual relatnship orr to reap the social benefs (havg kids, generally beg accepted society, etc. I’m worried bee (a) he’s never been wh a man before and beg wh me means he won't get that experience (assumg he don't cheat) and (b) he om an extremely relig fay the South who would likely not be able to accept his homosexualy (or even bisexualy).
I'm worried that we will spend years together, possibly get married, have kids, and then he will e to grips that he is fact actually gay. I have a very strong sneakg spicn that he’s bidg his time until his parents die or until he cis that he's gog to e out to them as I stay wh him and thk about a future, knowg full well that he uld tell me one day that he's actually gay and wants to be wh a man, or that he wants to transn, and leave me wh a bunch of baggage, such as gettg a divorce (sharg ctody of kids, fanc), and time/energy/effort lost?
IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?
If you're a woman, you may have noticed thgs about your boyiend that lead you to believe he's gay or terted men. Sexualy is highly plex and sensive, and there are a lot of accurate stereotyp out there that don't tly... * he said he's gay *
If you're a woman, you may have noticed thgs about your boyiend that lead you to believe he's gay or terted men.
Keep readg for a thorough list of potential signs that your boyiend might be gay. There are many reasons why someone might act this way, so this by self is not a surefire sign that he’s gay.
If you believe your boyiend lov and r for you but he "seems to be gay, " keep md that he uld be bisexual, pansexual, or terted men. There are several inti which someone n be terted more than one genr, so don't thk he's "jt gay". If you stumble upon evince of gay porn on his puter or phone, though, that may be a ltle different.
YOUR CHILD JT TOLD YOU HE'S GAY. NOW WHAT?
Joe Kort, Ph.D., talks about his new book, "Is My Hband Gay, Straight, or Bi?" * he said he's gay *
You fd pop-ups of gay porn on your/his puter or stored vio fil. He aggrsively ni searchg for or watchg gay scen. If he’s gay, he might thrive on other men’s attentn, equently touch or hug them, or exchange flirty ments wh them (pecially about their physil appearance).
He may surround himself wh gay panns to fill an unrequed need. Notice if he equently hangs out wh his gay iends, or jos them on nights out at LGBTQ+ bars and clubs. They thk, “If I act like I don’t like gay men, no one will thk I am one.
” Notice if he acts unfortable around gay men, regularly mak homophobic ments or jok, or liberately never talks about anythg remotely gay.
HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY
There are lots of reasons why you might want to know if your iend is gay. There are some important thgs that you have to unrstand about this suatn before gog forward, however. Someone's sexualy is highly plex and highly... * he said he's gay *
This is often referred to as ternalized homophobia. If his relativ are highly anti-gay, he may not feel safe or wele to e out to them. He might also be wrtlg wh ternalized homophobia or self-loathg bee of the nflict between his inty and his upbrgg.
This is the biggt sign your boyiend may be gay. A prev gay relatnship or enunter n be a major ditor.
An enunter his teen or llege years is more likely to mean he’s gay or queer than an experience later life, which uld have more plex explanatns. Remember, sexualy is highly plex and clus more than jt gay and straight.
HE IS GAY / HE IS A GAY.
I know the mon sayg is, "He is gay." However, gay is a untable noun, so isn't "He is a gay" more grammatilly appropriate? * he said he's gay *
Don’t rely on gay stereotyp like an effemate voice or walk, flashy or tight clothg, his TV and mic preferenc, or beg a neat eak to terme your boyiend’s sexualy.
There are many gay men that exhib none of the tras, as well as many straight men that do. You did not e your boyiend to be gay or to engage secretive behavr.
"I didn't know if my boyiend was gay (I am also a guy).
JAGS' MAXEN IS FIRST MALE AMERIN PRO SPORTS ACH TO E OUT AS GAY
Jaguars assistant Kev Maxen has bee the first male ach major Amerin men's pro sports to publicly e out as gay, tellg he ma the cisn bee he didn't want to hi who he is any longer. * he said he's gay *
In his Royal Oaks, Michigan, practice, Joe specializ Gay Affirmative Psychotherapy and IMAGO Relatnship Therapy, often treatg men who are qutng their sexual orientatn.
MY SON TOLD FRIENDS HE’S GAY. HE TELLS ME HE WAS JOKG.
Fdg out your partner is gay n turn your world upsi down and make you qutn everythg about your relatnship." emprop="scriptn * he said he's gay *
This populatn is the foc of his new and much-need book: Is My Hband Gay, Straight, or Bi? Number one is the high cince of male-female upl enterg my office bee the woman thks her man might be gay. More often than not, he’s not gay or even bi.
MY BOYIEND MSAGED SOMEONE ON A GAY SE. DO THAT MEAN HE’S GAY?
Lovg unndnally don’t mean lovg whout ncern. Get to the heart of your teen sayg that he's gay — and offer God's tth. * he said he's gay *
He’s actually straight, but for whatever reason, he’s been lookg at gay porn or he’s been havg sex wh men.
A lot of the time the men e on their own and they’re holdg my book about g out as gay, and they want to know, “Is this me? And I thk ’s very important to state right here that I’m a gay man, yet here I am sayg that most of the time the men who are beg sexual wh other men aren’t gay.
RPONDG TO ADULT CHILD WHO SAYS HE’S GAY
That’s unual, bee most gay men, even most gay therapists, believe that if a guy is havg gay sex, he’s gay. So how do you terme if a man is or isn’t gay?
” I always joke wh clients that for me, as a gay man, when I’m walkg on the beach and checkg people out, the women are the way. Wh gay clients, they say they feel the same way; wh bisexual clients, they say they’re lookg at both the men and the women; wh straight clients, they say they’re lookg only at the women. When a man is a long-term relatnship wh a woman but beg sexual wh men, eher lookg at porn or havg actual sex, he eher will or won’t be homophobic.
IS HE GAY?
Intertgly, ’s the gay men who are homophobic. The straight men have no homophobia at all—to the pot where they’re willg to seek unselg om me, an openly gay therapist. A lot of tim the gay men never even make to me (whout promptg om their wife, anyway) bee they’re riddled wh homophobia and I’m too gay for them.
So if a client is stgglg wh his sexual orientatn and he’s got a lot of homophobia, he’s probably gay. A gay guy wants to do all of that wh a man, a bisexual guy might want a man or a woman, and the straight guy wants to only be wh a woman that way. He’s been lookg at gay porn or he’s been hookg up wh guys he meets through Craigslist.
The gay man is dog this bee ’s his sexual inty. Even if he’s nfed and don’t want to e out as gay, this is who he is and over time that will e out.
HOW TO COPE WHEN YOUR SPOE COM OUT AS GAY
So this is a way of bondg wh men—ironilly, through sex—and happens not bee the man is gay but bee he don’t know any other way to get this need met. Then I tell them that a lot of gay men don’t do anal at all, eher givg or receivg. If the man is gay, the relatnship has ls of a chance of survival.
The reason is that the guy really is gay and he wants to exprs that sexually and romantilly. Eher they’re worried that their man will eventually ci he’s gay and end the relatnship, or they want monogamy, and his cheatg is a threat to the marriage regardls of who he’s dog wh.
And I should pot out here that the men when they’re engagg this behavr (regardls of whether they’re gay, straight or bi) nearly always tell themselv that what they’re dog is not cheatg bee they’re dog wh a guy.
RPONDG TO TEEN CHILD WHO SAYS HE’S GAY
For straight parents, havg a child reveal that he is gay n be a jolt. You might ask how long he or she has known, and why he feels he is gay, bi, or trans, suggts Jonathan Tobk, M. D., a psychiatrist private practice New York Cy and the -thor of When Your Child Is Gay: What You Need to Know.
You n fd one through the Associatn of Gay and Lbian Psychiatrists. Take the extra step and show your child that you are terted beg the parent of a gay child.
Edute yourself on what means to be gay, lbian, bisexual or transgenr.
HOW TO RPOND WHEN SOMEONE SAYS, 'I'M GAY'
PFLAG, or Parents for Lbians and Gays, which now has a group for transgenr youth, and holds natnwi chapters and meetgs;. There are lots of reasons why you might want to know if your iend is gay. You may want to know if your iend is gay, but there may be a good reason why they're stayg closeted.
For example, his fay may be vlently homophobic and by cidg that he's gay, you may out him by accint by treatg him different or implyg somethg whout meang to. If you're tryg to figure out if your iend is gay bee you want to date him (as a woman), 's important to remember that jt bee he might be terted men don't mean he's not terted women.