Why Are People Gay? Gay By Choice or Is Beg Gay Geic? | HealthyPlace

Contents:

• I’M 43 – BUT I’M MA TO FEEL LIKE A DOSR BY YOUNGER GAY MEN
• DO HE LIKE ME? QUIZ FOR STGGLG GAYS
• WHY ARE PEOPLE GAY? GAY BY CHOICE OR IS BEG GAY GEIC?
• I LIKE GAY MALE PORN, BUT GAY MEN REAL LIFE EAK ME OUT.
• TOM HOLLAND’S GAY SEX SCENE THE CROWD ROOM DEFEND BY FANS

I’M 43 – BUT I’M MA TO FEEL LIKE A DOSR BY YOUNGER GAY MEN

I’m 12 my csh is so hot ? and said YES MY GUY HE’S INTO YOU and I told him I’m gay and he said “as long as your not cshg on me I’m fe“ what should I do, also I have seen him wh shirt off and he blhed back? Adam* said was dangero to e out as gay his home untry and feared beg forced to an arranged marriage wh a said he was "so lucky" to wed his soulmate, Ray, Manchter and wish everyone uld marry who they love. 'Authentilly myself'Ray said he had also stggled growg up gay the 1970s and 80s England, which was "tough" said his relig school "dmmed to you, 'you are gog to hell'" Adam returned home to Sdi Arabia, spe beg more than 3, 000 apart and later rtricted by the Covid-19 panmic, they kept touch daily and the romance years ago, Ray proposed on a vio ll and after succsfully applyg for a UK fiancé visa, Adam moved to Manchter December 2022.

Adam said he had been aaid to even wear lours his home untry so the first thg he did when he moved was start to "grow my mullet, got my ears pierced and booked appotments for tattoos" relled how, ntrast, one of his gay iends Sdi had been forced to marry a woman, addg: "It has ed not only his life but the life of his wife. The uple, who live London, said a "really betiful memory" was on the way home when one of their sons shouted out of the black b wdow to Trafalgar Square, "My dads jt got married" and cheered "Yay, gay marriage". It very much appears that same-sex sexual attractn is not a choice but actg on is; so if you fe gay as the mere prence of same-sex attractn, then om everythg we unrstand, beg gay is not a choice.

Regardls, some straight people like porn that isn't straight (like some gay people like porn that isn't gay), and what we like fantasy or media isn't a sound way to try and figure out what our orientatn is or a place to look for a match wh what we like or want real life, even though for some folks, is some ways. It uld e om a fear that you're gay or bisexual yourself, or that likg men sexually or romantilly, even fantasy, mak you ls of a man, fears that might be irratnal, but might also be ratnal. In se the term homophobia trips you up, UC Davis' Department of Psychology says: "The Amerin Herage Dictnary f homophobia as "aversn to gay or homosexual people or their liftyle or culture" and "behavr or an act based on this aversn.

DO HE LIKE ME? QUIZ FOR STGGLG GAYS

Negative feelgs or attus towards non-heterosexual behavur, inty, relatnships and muny, n lead to homophobic behavur and is the root of the discrimatn experienced by many lbian, gay, bisexual and transgenr (LGBT) people. Some studi, like one done at the Universy of Geia, reported the Journal of Abnormal Psychology (Augt, 1996) have lked greater sexual aroal to homosexual material to homophobia.

Homophobia is somethg that is very often seen people who may be homosexual or bisexual themselv and are very aaid of those feelgs, or feel there is somethg terribly wrong wh them (even though there isn't). This is important for everyone to know whether they might be the person who hurts someone else wh their own homophobia, and/or who might be hurt themselv by someone else's. One example of stutnalized homophobia (and heterosexism and transphobia), for stance, is that very few people grow up a world or a culture which prents same-sex or same or siar-genr romantic and/or sexual relatnships as as normal, as acceptable, and as potentially wonrful as oppose-sex or genr relatnships.

WHY ARE PEOPLE GAY? GAY BY CHOICE OR IS BEG GAY GEIC?

A lot of lbian, gay, bisexual or other not-heterosexual folks have a hard time picturg themselv anythg but oppose-sex relatnships not bee they aren't really queer, but bee 's the only, or the most pervasive, picture they've seen, or the only way they have seen relatnships or fai prented posively. Lt we fet the potential ser nsequenc of havg sex whout ndoms, I clu the latt rmatn about the health risks of ndomls sex, discsg the relative safety of HIV-posive men who bareback wh other fected Men Are Takg Sexual RisksThere are abundant theori but no five answers about why gay men take sexual risks. After more than three s of safer sex msag agast the backdrop of gay men sickeng horribly and then dyg, new medil treatments have stemmed the ti of the panmic and offered real hope for longer-term survival to people wh HIV.

Queer theorist Tim Dean (2000) wr: "In view of statistics on new seronversns, some AIDS tors have begun to acknowledge that, unlikely though may seem, remag HIV-negative fact pos signifint psychologil challeng to gay men" (p. To those who have not been workg the gay men's muny for the past 25 years, this statement might seem absurd, but is te that HIV-negative gay men face unique challeng that make seem almost easier to Francis Bay area psychologist Walt Ots (1995) was one of the first mental health profsnals to qutn why gay men who had th far ped beg fected wh HIV were placg themselv at risk for beg so. Ots scribed HIV-negative men who stggled a world and gay muny that, however untentnally, nsired their difficulti nsequential as pared to those of men who were fightg for their liv.

I LIKE GAY MALE PORN, BUT GAY MEN REAL LIFE EAK ME OUT.

The unfected men's growg visibily triggered old childhood feelgs of beg an outsir, and for some, ntributed to an acute psychologil crisis that often created a nfluence of behavrs and thought patterns that placed them at risk for ntractg have suggted that durg the '80s, gay men unnscly llud wh the general public's equatn of a gay inty wh an AIDS inty (Ots, 1995; Rof, 1996).

New York social worker Steve Ball (1998) scrib how durg the height of the AIDS epimic HIV-negative gay men often found themselv the role of regiver, mourner/widower, or outsir, due to their not beg fected wh HIV. The dynamics scribed by Ots and Ball are part of the munal and psychosocial reali that early the epimic played a role ntributg to the spread of 1988, I wrote about how fear was one large ponent of what propelled gay men to change how they were havg sex (Shernoff & Jimenez, 1988). Gay men who were recently surveyed about their failure to e ndoms durg anal sex repeatedly told rearchers that current AIDS preventn msag do not feel relevant to them and do not nvey an urgency about why ndom e is important (Halkis, Parsons, & Wilton, 2003; Carballo-Dieguez & L, 2003; Mor et al., 2003).

Brish psychologist and rearcher Michelle Crossley (2001, 2002) wr that one factor might be a crease the effectivens of the "health promotn" mpaign to change gay men's sexual behavr. Crossley suggts that is impossible to evaluate the efficy of safer-sex msag and of themselv sce ncurrent to when they first began appearg, gay men were overwhelmed by the terror that they might be fected by the then-new disease that was rapidly killg their iends and lovers. They reported beg thrilled to be able to participate a procs that helped them reclaim the joy and fun of gay sex amidst all of the sex-negativy and sex-equalg-ath msag that were undatg them.

TOM HOLLAND’S GAY SEX SCENE THE CROWD ROOM DEFEND BY FANS

Factors That Lead to Sexual Risk-TakgThere are numero theori for why gay men engage unprotected sex, and rearch has explored a wi variety of possible ratnal for the behavr. The clu:Negative attus toward ndom e (Ots, 1994; Flowers, Smh, Sheeran, & Beail, 1997; Hays, Kegel, & Coat, 1997; Kelly & Kalichman, 1998; Van Ven et al., 1998a; b; Appleby, Miller, & Rothspan, 1999)How beg a mted pared to a nonmted uple relatnship affects whether a ndom is ed (Elford Boldg McGuire & Sher, 2001; Vcke, Bolton, & DeVlechouwer, 2001)Strongly intifyg wh or feelg alienated om the gay muny (Hospers & Kok, 1995; Hays et al., 1997; Seal et al., 2000)Internalized homophobia (Meyer & Dean, 1998; Can, Dolci, & Adler, 1999)A sense of the evabily of beg fected wh HIV as a gay man (Kelly et al., 1990; Kalichman, Kelly, & Rompa, 1997)The effects of substance e (Stall, McKick, Wiley, Coat, & Ostrow, 1986; Stall, Pl, Barrett, Crosby, & Be, 1991; Leigh & Stall, 1993; Stall & Leigh, 1994; Hospers & Kok, 1995; Woody et al., 1999; Royce, Sena, Cat, & Cohen, 1997; Chney, Barrett, & Stall, 1998; Ostrow & Shelby, 2000; Halkis, Parsons, & Stirratt, 2001, Halkis et al., 2003; Halkis & Parsons, 2002; Kalichman & Wehardt, 2001) are probably a multu of other issu at play as well. As psychologist and former rearcher at the CDC Ron Stall was quoted as sayg an article the Manhattan gay newspaper Gay Cy News, "There are studi that monstrate a variety of psychosocial health issu, cludg prsn, antigay vlence, childhood sexual abe, or substance abe, n lead gay men to have unsafe sex" (Stall, quoted Osborne, 2002, p.

In my own practice, I have intified several factors that appear to lead to sexual risk-takg: lonels, beg HIV-posive, havg unmet timacy needs, feelg alienated om the gay muny, beg love, and a cravg for eper timacy and San Francis, Mor and lleagu (2003) intified a number of issu that ntributed to the cisns gay men make to bareback.

In Toby's se, his barebackg was not related to a sire to feel closer to a beloved partner but rather his sire to nnect sexually and socially wh other gay men and to feel unhibed and ee. Even when gay men posss a sophistited unrstandg of how HIV is transmted and accurate perceptns of how dangero risky sex n be, many gay men unrtimate their vulnerabily to HIV fectn (McKick, Horstman, & Coat, 1985; Bman & Siegel, 1987; Richard et al., 1988) (2003) also discs a tegory of barebackers that he labels irratnal risk takers.