Gay adoptn: A new take on the Amerin fay

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Wh tens of thoands of children lgerg foster re across the Uned Stat, wag for adoptn, Illois schoolteachers Kev Nbert and Jim Gorey did their b. What began wh their offer to briefly re for a newborn foster child evolved wh a few years to the adoptn of that ltle boy and all four of his olr siblgs who also were foster re. The story of their two-dad, five-kid fay exemplifi the potential for same-sex upl to help ease the perennial shortfall of adoptive hom for foster children. Yet, even as more gays and lbians are adoptg, there are efforts by state and feral policians to protect fah-based adoptn agenci that object to placg children such fai. Sweepg new measur Texas and South Dakota allow state-fund agenci to refe to place children wh unmarried or gay prospective parents bee of relig objectns. A bill passed last month Alabama appli to agenci g private funds. A newly troduced bill Congrs would extend such provisns natnwi. For those who support gay adoptn, the entire phenomenon is very much a good news/bad news story. Gays and lbians have ever-expandg opportuni to adopt, and a strong likelihood of fdg muny support if they do so. Yet bias agast prospective gay adoptive parents remas pervasive, whether 's overt or subtle, and experts the field believe that many thoands of gays and lbians are dissuad om adoptg for fear of enunterg such bias. "Some of the agenci are que clear that they don't work wh certa sorts of people," said Currey Cook, who handl adoptn and foster re issu for the LGBT-rights group Lambda Legal. Some would-be gay adopters seek out other agenci, Cook said. "But some people thk, 'I'm not gog to risk beg stigmatized and turned away, so I'm not gog to step up at all.'" There's no official, up-to-date unt of gay and lbian adoptive parents, but the number is on the rise. Same-sex upl are nearly three tim as likely to adopt as heterosexual upl, says Gary Gat, a specialist LGBT mography. His latt analysis of Cens Bure data dit that 2015, the year that same-sex marriage was legalized natnwi, there were 44,000 adopted children beg raised by 28,000 same-sex upl. That number of children was double his timate om 2013. For some gays and lbians, particularly those able to afford the $20,000 to $40,000 st of a typil private adoptn, the odds of succs are good. "If you have fancial means, you n fd provirs who are welg and clive and help you through that procs," said Ellen Kahn, who overse youth and fay programs for the Human Rights Campaign, a natnal LGBT-rights group. She says problems often arise when gays and lbians seek the far ls stly optn of adoptg out of foster re, given that many of the placements are handled by fah-based agenci unr ntract wh child-welfare partments. "We wouldn't have kids wag if we had enough fai seekg to adopt," Kahn said. "Yet the LGBT muny is beg phed asi." Kim Paglo, program director for the Donaldson Adoptn Instute, says gays and lbians n benef om workg and reful rearch as they seek an agency to work wh. "It n take a while to fd the right place," she said. "You have very clear msag om the agenci that are not terted same-sex upl. Sometim knowg where you shouldn't go is helpful." Among the supportive agenci is Vermont-based Friends Adoptn. Its founr and director, Dawn Smh-Pler, says she's heartened by the overall trends of LGBT adoptn the past , but now worri about a rurgence of "antic phone lls" if, given recent polil velopments, more agenci feel embolned to refe placements wh gays and lbians. "Do we have to go backward aga before we go forward?" she asked. Of the upl currently postg profil on her agency's web se, exprsg their yearng to adopt, about half are same-sex upl. Smh-Pler says birth mothers are creasgly open to placg babi wh such upl, once the agency rais as an optn. Don Dupont and Brian Hiller, mic teachers New York's Wtchter County who married 2011, cid they would try to adopt, and turned to Friends Adoptn at the remendatn of iends. They posted their profile onle, strsg their love of mic and love for each other, and stck a chord wh a pregnant woman California's Napa County who chose them to provi an adoptive home for her child. Hiller and Dupont were on hand, and weled warmly, at a Catholic hospal Napa County when their son, Brandon, was born 2015. They have arranged an open adoptn that's tend to clu annual viss wh Brandon's mother and her fay California. As for their home turf New York, "We've been fully embraced by every person we've met," Dupont said. In Illois, Kev Nbert and Jim Gorey opted to pursue adoptn out of foster re after lculatg that a private adoptn might be too stly. Followg night class to qualify as foster parents, they agreed December 2011 to provi a temporary home for a newborn baby. A stay tend to last only for a few days was extend to several months, and Nbert and Gorey learned that the baby had four olr siblgs who were also foster re. Inially, the two men thought about tryg to adopt three of the children, and eventually cid to adopt all five, a procs falized June 2014. "Some people thought we were crazy, but everyone was supportive of keepg the kids together," Nbert said. The youngt, Derek, is 5; the elst, Le, is 12. There are two other brothers, 10 and 7, and a middle sister aged 9. Nbert and Gorey, who married 2010 and live the Chigo suburb of Naperville, said the fay has enjoyed strong muny support, though shoppg trips uld be a spectacle. "We didn't know if people were lookg at bee we're two guys wh kids, or bee we had so many kids tow," said Gorey. The dads have ached their children on how to handle potentially awkward suatns. "If someone asks, 'Where's the mom?' Derek knows to say there are all different typ of fai, and our fay there are two dads, and no mom," Nbert said. The path to adoptn was bumpier for Dr. Christopher Harris, though by some measur he was an ial ndidate when he first pursued that goal 17 years ago Nashville, Tennsee. He was a pediatrician and faculty member at Vanrbilt Universy, but he also was sgle and openly gay. For more than a year, he worked wh a church-affiliated adoptn agency, takg parentg class, submtg to home viss. Yet his applitn never progrsed, and he fally duced that was bee he was gay. He reached a siar ad end wh a send agency, which took fe om him, and only later — when he prsed for an update — said would not place children wh sgle men. "It was tratg for me to get passed over," Harris said. "As a pediatrician, I look at the science and see there are no data that children raised by gay and lbian parents don't do well." He persisted, fally fdg an agency that was able to nnect him wh a woman open to havg her soon-to-be-born child adopted by a gay man. The baby, Maria, was born November 2002, and adopted soon afterward by Harris. Father and dghter now live Los Angel, where Maria has pleted her first year of high school. Durg several summers, the two of them have attend a weeklong gatherg of LGBT fai on Cape Cod. "It's very good for me and my dghter to be around fai like ours," Harris said. Those annual events on Cape Cod are anized by the Fay Equaly Council, a natnal group that supports LGBT fai. The uncil's chief policy officer, Denise Brogan-Kator, went to Texas to ttify agast the adoptn-related bill there and was distrsed by s passage. "The bill is signed to allow agenci to turn qualified fai away," she said. There are more than 100,000 children foster re the U.S. wag to be adopted, and child welfare officials nstantly stggle to fd enough qualified adoptive fai. Some jurisdictns — such as New York Cy and Los Angel — have stepped up efforts to rec gays and lbians to adopt, but agenci that shun gay clients operate most stat. Buckner Internatnal, a large agency based Texas, specifi on s web se that applints seekg to adopt should be heterosexual married upl or sgle adults who are not habg wh a partner. Catholic Chari, which do child-welfare work across the untry, says seeks to ensure that the children plac adoptive hom "enjoy the advantage of havg a mother and a father who are married. " In some jurisdictns, thori have said Catholic Chari mt serve same-sex upl. Rather than ply, Catholic Chari shut down adoptn servic Massachetts, Illois, San Francis and Washgton, D.C. While many fah-based agenci ntend that children fare bt the home of a married father and mother, there's a growg body of rearch ntendg that children fare jt as well the hom of same-sex upl. Inially, such rearch foced on lbian upl. However, Charlotte Patterson, a psychology profsor at the Universy of Virgia, said recent rearch suggts children adopted by gay male upl also are farg well. Ined a 2014 study Bra , led by Universy of Cambridge rearchers, asserted that gay dads did better at parentg than lbian and straight upl, likely bee they faced more challeng en route to parenthood. "It seems that those who succsfully plete the adoptn procs bee particularly mted parents," the rearchers nclud. Bethany Christian Servic, which provis adoptn and foster-re servic more than 30 stat, says s relig prcipl preclu servg same-sex upl directly, but has tablished procr for referrg them to LGBT-supportive agenci. "When we meet wh them, we're very rpectful," said Bethany's print, Bill Blacquiere. "We want them to have all the rights any cizen has, cludg the right to be adoptive or foster parents." ___ Follow David Crary on Twter at * gay adoption vermont *

LGBT Rights Mae, Uned Stat: homosexualy, gay marriage, gay adoptn, servg the ary, sexual orientatn discrimatn protectn, changg legal genr, donatg blood, age of nsent, and more. * gay adoption vermont *