Poetry Readg: Ross Gay

"HOLY HELL": THE CHILLG TTH BEHD LIFE WH A GAY MSIAHDIRECTOR WILL ALLEN SPENT 20 YEARS UNR THE HYPNOTIC SPELL OF MICHEL, LEAR OF THE BUDDHAFIELD {FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}MOVIBY JEREMY KSERMAY 27, 2016/2:40 PMBY JEREMY KSERMAY 27, 2016 / 2:40 PM{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"NEWSARTICLE","HEADLE":"\"HOLY HELL\": THE CHILLG TTH BEHD LIFE WH A GAY MSIAH","DATEPUBLISHED":"2016-05-27T18:40:15.000+0000","DATEMODIFIED":"2016-05-27T18:40:15.000+0000","IMAGE":{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","WIDTH":1920,"HEIGHT":1080},"URL":","THOR":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","NAME":"LOGO TV"},"MAENTYOFPAGE":{"@TYPE":"WEBPAGE","@ID":"},"PUBLISHER":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","@ID":","NAME":"LOGO TV","URL":","LOGO":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT"}},"CREATOR":"JEREMY KSER","ARTICLESECTN":"MOVI"}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WHEN WILL ALLEN GRADUATED OM FILM SCHOOL 1985, THE WORLD SEEMED FULL OF OPPORTUNI. HE WAS YOUNG, GAY AND GOOD-LOOKG—BUT HE WAS LOOKG FOR SOMETHG TO GIVE HIS LIFE A EPER {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}ALLEN THOUGHT HE’D FOUND WHEN HE MET MICHEL, AN EX-ACTOR AND BALLET DANCER WHO FOUND THE LOS ANGEL-BASED SPIRUAL MUNY KNOWN AS THE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}MICHEL PROMISED A LIFETIME OF LOVE AND ENLIGHTENMENT. ALLEN JOED THE GROUP AS THEIR OFFICIAL VIOGRAPHER (AND MICHEL'S PERSONAL MASSR) AND QUICKLY BEME A FAVORE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}THEIR RELATNSHIP EVENTUALLY TURNED SEXUAL, SPE THE FACT THAT SEX WAS OSTENSIBLY FORBIDN AMONG GROUP {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}"[MICHEL] RONATED PEACE AND BETY, HE WAS TED, CULTURED, OUTSPOKEN, EXTREMELY LIBERAL AND HIS TEACHGS WERE VERY RADIL TO ME," SAYS ALLEN. "IT ALSO DIDN’T HURT THAT HE WAS OBVLY A GAY MAN AND I NEED A ROLE MOL WHO WOULD SPIRE ME."{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}EVENTUALLY, THOUGH, FOLLOWERS SAY THEY SAW MICHEL'S DARKER SI—PARANOID, MANDG, SECRETIVE—AND THE BUDDHAFIELD MUNY BEGAN TO FALL {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}AFTER TWO S, ALLEN PED BUDDHAFIELD WH FOOTAGE OM HIS YEARS THERE, WHICH, ALONG WH NEW TERVIEWS OM FORMER FOLLOWERS, BEME THE BASIS OF THE NEW DOCUMENTARY HOLY HELL, SELECT THEATERS {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-FLEX;DISPLAY:-MS-FLEXBOX;DISPLAY:FLEX;-WEBK-BOX-PACK:CENTER;-WEBK-JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-PACK:CENTER;JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;POSN:RELATIVE;PADDG-BOTTOM:56.25%;} .TWTER-TWEET-RENRED, {M-WIDTH:65%;WIDTH:TO !IMPORTANT;} {WIDTH:100%;} {MARG-LEFT:TO !IMPORTANT;MARG-RIGHT:TO !IMPORTANT;} IMG{MAX-WIDTH:100%;WIDTH:100%;} > IAME{BORR:NONE;MAX-WIDTH:100%;} > *{MAX-WIDTH:NONE !IMPORTANT;POSN:ABSOLUTE;HEIGHT:100% !IMPORTANT;WIDTH:100% !IMPORTANT;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}ALLEN SPOKE WH NEWNOWNEXT ABOUT LIFE SI THE BUDDHAFIELD, HIS SECRET RELATNSHIP WH S CHARISMATIC LEAR AND WHEN HE KNEW HE HAD TO {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}AS A BRIGHT YOUNG MAN H OUT OF FILM SCHOOL, THE POSSIBILI MT HAVE SEEMED ENDLS. WHAT LED YOU TO BEE VOLVED THE BUDDHAFIELD? {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I WAS LOOKG FOR A EPER MEANG TO MY EXISTENCE. I WAS GAY AND TRYG TO E OUT 1985, WHEN AIDS WAS THE HUGE SRE HAPPENG OUR SOCIETY. I ME OM A GOOD FAY, BUT I STILL FELT LIKE THERE MT BE MORE TO THIS LIFE THAN WHAT I HAD FOUND SO FAR. I WAS VERY NFED AFTER GRADUATG FILM SCHOOL AND I REMEMBER THKG I NEED TO FD THE SECRET TO HAPPS AND HOW TO LIVE A MEANGFUL {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}HOW DID YOU FIRST BEE AWARE OF MICHEL?{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}MY SISTER VED ME TO A SMALL MEDATN MEETG WT HOLLYWOOD SOMEONE’S LIVG ROOM, AND WALKED THIS EXOTIC, MCLE-BOUND FOREIGNER OM VENEZUELA SHARG ABOUT LOVE AND GOD AND ENLIGHTENMENT. I WAS QUE NOCENT AT THE TIME. AND I FELT AN IMMEDIATE SENSE OF EASE AND {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}SO I’D SAY I WAS LOOKG FOR MEANG, FOR SOMETHG TO GIVE MYSELF TO THAT WOULD HAVE A PURPOSE. I THK THAT'S MON FOR MANY PEOPLE—WE WANTED THE PROMISE OF HAPPS. THE FACT THAT MY SISTER WAS THERE AND THE PEOPLE WERE LOVELY HELPED GIVE ME A SENSE OF SAFETY ABOUT GETTG VOLVED MORE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WOULD YOU SAY BEG VULNERABLE WAS A MON THREAD AMONG BUDDHAFIELD FOLLOWERS?{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I LOOK BACK AND SEE THAT I WAS ED VERY VULNERABLE AT THAT TIME AND LOOKG FOR GUIDANCE AND ANSWERS. THE MONALY WAS BOTH SPIRUAL AND MUNY, AS I DISVERED WHEN I STARTED TO MAKE HOLY HELL YEARS {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I STARTED TO PROBE AND ASK MY IENDS EPER QUTNS ABOUT WHAT THEY WERE THKG AT THE TIME. SOME WERE SEEKG NIRVANA, SOME WERE JT SEEKG A SAFE MUNY OF GOOD PEOPLE, AND SOME HAD OTHER SPIRUAL OR EMOTNAL {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I SEE NOW THAT THE HUMAN NDN IS VERY PLEX AND NOTHG PREPAR FOR OUR LIFE JOURNEY. AT LEAST MY UPBRGG DID {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}A LOT OF PEOPLE WOULD LOOK AT MICHEL WH HIS SPEEDOS AND HIS PLASTIC SURGERY AND BE SKEPTIL. WHAT WAS THE APPEAL HE HELD FOR YOU AND OTHER MEMBERS?{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I WAS THERE BEE MICHEL SPOKE AS IF HE WAS ENLIGHTENED. HE WOULD SHOW ME THE SECRET OF THE UNIVERSE. HE RONATED PEACE AND BETY, HE WAS TED, CULTURED, OUTSPOKEN, EXTREMELY LIBERAL AND HIS TEACHGS WERE VERY RADIL TO ME. IT ALSO DIDN’T HURT THAT HE WAS OBVLY A GAY MAN AND I NEED A ROLE MOL WHO WOULD SPIRE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}HE WAS ALSO VERY FLAMBOYANT AND HAD BEEN AN ACTOR, DANCER AND ACTG TEACHER AND HYPNOTHERAPIST. HE WAS A QUADPLE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}SO YOU FELT SAFE?{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}MICHEL ACMODATED EVERYTHG I DIDN'T GET AT HOME, BUT SPIRUAL ENLIGHTENMENT BEME MY APPEAL FOR THE GROUP. HE SAID HE ULD REVEAL THE EXPERIENCE OF GOD, NER LIGHT AND DIVE LOVE. FOR HIM TO WORK WH , WE HAD TO MAKE A VOW TO ASK FOR HIS GUIDANCE AND THEN TO FOLLOW , OTHERWISE WE WEREN'T SER {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}HE EXPLAED THERE WERE MANY PFALLS ALONG THE WAY AND HE WAS THERE TO GUI UPON THIS RAZOR'S EDGE. HE ALSO WANTED TO FALL LOVE WH HIM AND HE WANTED TO BE THE HIGHT SYMBOL OF DIVE LOVE FOR SO THEN WE ULD LOVE SOMETHG MORE THAN OURSELV—SOMETHG BIGGER THAN OUR SMALL {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}HE PROMISED ME IF I TSTED HIM PLETELY, HE ULD TAKE BEYOND OUR MDS AND OUR {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}DID EVERYONE FALL UNR MICHEL'S SPELL?{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}MANY, MANY PEOPLE DID NOT RONATE WH HIM AT ALL. LOTS OF PEOPLE WERE VED TO MEETGS THE EARLY DAYS WT HOLLYWOOD AND LEFT MUMBLG, “WHAT THE HELL IS THIS CULT? THAT MAN IS AN EGOMANIAC!”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}BUT THE MORE TIME YOU SPENT AROUND HIM AND BEME FLUENCED BY HIS WORDS, THE BETTER YOU’D FEEL. AND THEN THE MORE YOU WANTED TO BE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}HE WAS BORROWG TEACHGS OM DOZENS OF PLAC, BUT WE DIDN’T KNOW THIS. I ULD NOT PERSONALLY SEE THE RED FLAGS BEE I HAD NOTHG AMERI THAT I ULD PARE HIM TO. PL MY SISTER AND ALL OF LOVED EVERYTHG WE WERE DOG TOGETHER AND WE GREW TO LOVE HIM, {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}AND WAS THE '80’S. THERE WAS NO INTER AND NO CELL {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}HOW DID LIFE CHANGE WHILE YOU WERE LIVG WH THE MUNY?{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}THE TRANSFORMATN I EXPERIENCED IMMEDIATELY OM BEG EXPOSED TO MEDATN WAS PROOF ENOUGH FOR ME THAT THIS WAS A VERY PRACTIL AND JOYFUL WAY TO LIVE. I BEME HAPPY AND SIMPLE. UP UNTIL THAT POT I HAD NOT BEEN HAPPY AND NOTHG MY LIFE HAD BEEN {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}ANOTHER THG THAT WAS POPULAR HIS TEACHGS WAS NOT TO RE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THK. AND ONLY LISTEN TO AND TRY TO PLEASE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}SO THAT WAS THE BEGNG OF NOT LISTENG TO OUR OWN GUIDANCE SYSTEMS—BEE HIS "TEACHGS" OVERRO ANYTHG WE THOUGHT WAS RIGHT OR {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}HOW DID YOUR RELATNSHIP WH MICHEL EVOLVE TO AN TIMATE ONE?{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}AFTER A UPLE YEARS HE NOTICED I WAS VERY WILLG TO DO SERVICE. SERVICE IS SOMETHG YOU DID NOT DO FOR YOURSELF, BUT DID EELY FOR OTHERS AND WH NO NEED FOR ANYTHG RETURN. SERVICE WAS A JOYFUL ACTN AND I GOT A LOT OF EAGE OUT OF {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I THK HE NOTICED THIS AND PULLED ME CLOSER TO HIM TO DO PERSONAL SERVICE FOR HIM AND AROUND HIM. I STARTED TO LEARN MASSAGE, AND DRIVE HIM EVERYWHERE. I HELPED HIM START HIS DAY. I LOVED BEG PULLED CLOSE TO HELP HIM DIRECTLY. I FELT LIKE WAS VERY SPECIAL, BUT HE ALSO MA ME FEEL LIKE I HAD POTENTIAL TO BEE ENLIGHTENED AND THAT I WAS WORTH HIS TIME AND EFFORT. I DIDN’T REALIZE I WAS ALSO GAY AND PRETTY CUTE. THAT NEVER REGISTERED TO ME UNTIL {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}HOW WAS THIS KEPT SECRET?{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}EVERYONE THOUGHT THAT HE WAS THEIR MOST TSTED ALLY, BOTH THE TEACHER AND THE THERAPIST. IF HE TOLD YOU NOT TO SAY SOMETHG, WAS DONE WH THE HIGHT SECRECY AND YOU WERE MEANT TO OBEY HIM. HE TMPED EVER RELATNSHIP YOU HAD. HE MANIPULATED ALL OF THIS WAY, WHOUT THE OTHER KNOWG, MEN AND WOMEN {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I AM NOT TALKG JT ABOUT HIS SEXUAL MANIPULATNS. WOMEN WERE TOLD NOT TO BE WH THEIR BOYIENDS, LATER TO FD OUT WAS BEE HE WAS SCG THEM HIMSELF. NOW I ALSO KNOW, BIS THE NTROLLG FACTORS, PEOPLE ALSO DIDN’T SPEAK FOR A NUMBER OF OTHER PERSONAL REASONS, SUCH AS SHAME, GUILT, OR FEAR OF HIM MONIZG {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WERE YOU AWARE THAT MICHEL WAS ALSO VOLVED WH SOME OF THE OTHER YOUNG MEN?{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I WAS AWARE OF ONE BOY, FOR SURE, BEE I FIGURED OUT HE REPLACED ME WH A WEEK. [LGHS] I WAS DUMBFOUND—ALTHOUGH I WAS GLAD TO BE RELEASED OM THIS FUCKED-UP, MANIPULATIVE RELATNSHIP HE WAS FORCG ON ME, I ALSO ULDN’T BELIEVE HOW QUICKLY HE HAD SCED SOMEONE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I KNEW ONLY BEE I LIVED WH MICHEL AND TOOK RE OF HIM: ONE DAY I HEARD SEXUAL NOIS G OM SI HIS ROOM DURG A CLEANSG SSN. I SAID TO HIM AFTERWARDS, “I ULD HEAR YOU. YOU WERE HAVG SEX THERE DURG CLEANSG." I FELT I ULD TALK TO HIM SOMETIM LIKE THIS, BEE I KNEW HE HAD DONE TO ME, AND I WAS SHOCKED. HE SAID, “NO NO, THAT IS YOUR IMAGATN. THAT IS NOT WHAT YOU HEARD.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}AND THEN THE NEXT DAY ONE OF HIS DISCIPL, WHO WAS A RPENTER, ME TO SOLVE THIS PROBLEM BY ADDG A SEND PRIVACY DOOR ON THE ENTRYWAY TO HIS ROOM. SO AFTER THAT, THERE WERE TWO DOORS PROTECTG HIM FOR THE NEXT 13 YEARS WHILE LIVG AT [WHERE THE BUDDHAFIELD EVENTUALLY MOVED.]. WHO KNOWS WHAT WENT ON THERE? I N GUARANTEE YOU WAS NOT NSENSUAL. NOT THE WAY THAT YOU AND I KNOW AS “NSENSUAL.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I NEVER SAID ANYTHG AFTER THAT OR TRIED TO TERFERE WH MY SPICNS. I GAVE UP AND FELT FEATED. NOW I WOULD. NOW I WOULD EXPOSE THAT SH A {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WHAT PRECIPATED YOUR MAKG A BREAK OM THE GROUP?{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IT WAS WHEN WE, AS A GROUP, DISVERED MORE AND MORE SECRETS AND VASTATG LI THAT JT SHATTERED THE PERCEPTN PEOPLE HAD OF MICHEL AND THE TTHS HE WAS TRYG TO NCEAL. PEOPLE WERE HURT SPIRUALLY, EMOTNALLY, MENTALLY AND SEXUALLY, FOR {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WE REALIZED HE WAS MORE NARCISSISTIC THAN ENLIGHTENED. AND WHEN SO MANY PEOPLE EXPOSED THEIR STORI, HOW ULD YOU NOT PULL AWAY AND STOP THIS? IT WAS EXPOSED AND NOW WE ULD DISCS MORE EELY AMONG OURSELV. THAT IS ALWAYS A HEALTHY THG, AND PEOPLE ARE NOT HONT ENOUGH WH EACH OTHER. WE SHOULD BE NCERNED FOR EACH OTHER THIS SOCIETY, AGAST PREDATORS AND SOCPATHIC BEHAVRS, BEE MANY PEOPLE NNOT SPEAK OUT FOR {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}DO YOU KNOW IF MICHEL HAS SEEN THE FILM?{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}HE HAS SOMEHOW SEEN THE FILM, I’VE HEARD. HE IS BIDG HIS TIME HAWAII [WHERE THE BUDDHAFIELD IS NOW LOTED], HOPG WILL ALL GO AWAY. THE PEOPLE WH HIM HAVE SPREAD OUT AND BEE MORE GNO, LIKE WE ED TO DO WHEN HE WAS THREATENED OM THE OUTSI WORLD. WE ALWAYS THOUGHT WE WERE PROTECTG THE “CHRIST” FIGURE, AND I AM SURE HE STILL SPS THAT YARN TO HIS {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}ACTUALLY I KNOW FOR A FACT HE DO, AS I HAVE READ SOME EMAILS OM THEM. OH, AND THERE WAS THE ATH THREAT THAT END WH A WARRANT FOR A BOY’S ARRT. HIS NAME WAS SAMSON, [MICHEL'S] BODYGUARD, BUT HIS ACTUAL NAME WAS SOMETHG {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}HAVE THERE BEEN THREATS AGAST YOUR LIFE FOR MAKG THE DOCUMENTARY?{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}MY LIFE? NO. BUT I HAVE PUT MYSELF THE LE OF HIS FIRE—HE IS NOT AN HONT MAN, MY HUMBLE OPN. HE'S BADMOUTHG OUR FILM ANONYMOLY WAYS FOR WHICH HE NNOT BE HELD ACUNTABLE. REMEMBER HE HAS A HUGE GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO WILL DO ALL OF HIS DIRTY WORK FOR HIM—FOR EE. THEY LL "SERVICE FOR THE HIGHER GOOD.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IS THERE MORE OF THIS STORY TO BE TOLD?{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I'VE ONLY TOLD ABOUT 10% OF WHAT HAPPENED TO AT THE BUDDHAFIELD AND THE THGS MICHEL DID. A IEND WHO RECENTLY LEFT THE GROUP TOLD ME HE IS DOG SOMETHG HE LLS "HEALGS" FOR $100 A POP. HE DO ABOUT FIVE A DAY, I AM TOLD, AND WORKS ALMOST EVERYDAY. IT'S ALL SH. HE'S A GOLDME FOR THE IRS TO {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}BELOW, WATCH AN EXCLIVE CLIP OM HOLY HELL, THEATERS {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-FLEX;DISPLAY:-MS-FLEXBOX;DISPLAY:FLEX;-WEBK-BOX-PACK:CENTER;-WEBK-JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-PACK:CENTER;JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;} .TWTER-TWEET-RENRED, {M-WIDTH:65%;WIDTH:TO !IMPORTANT;} {WIDTH:100%;} {MARG-LEFT:TO !IMPORTANT;MARG-RIGHT:TO !IMPORTANT;} IMG{MAX-WIDTH:100%;WIDTH:100%;} > IAME{BORR:NONE;MAX-WIDTH:100%;} > *{MAX-WIDTH:NONE !IMPORTANT;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;CLEAR:BOTH;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;MARG:0 TO;WIDTH:90%;M-WIDTH:288PX;MAX-WIDTH:1440PX;M-HEIGHT:194PX;}LATT NEWS
GAY MSIAH
GAY MSIAHS OUR MIDST
POETRY READG: ROSS GAY
TTH, JTICE, AND THE HELLENIC WAY: THE CULTURAL APOTHEOSIS OF THE “GAY MSIAH‟ RUF WAWRIGHT’S “GOG TO A TOWN” TTH, JTICE, AND THE HELLENIC WAY: THE CULTURAL APOTHEOSIS OF THE “GAY MSIAH‟ RUF WAWRIGHT’S “GOG TO A TOWN” TTH, JTICE, AND THE HELLENIC WAY: THE CULTURAL APOTHEOSIS OF THE “GAY MSIAH‟ RUF WAWRIGHT’S “GOG TO A TOWN” TTH, JTICE, AND THE HELLENIC WAY: THE CULTURAL APOTHEOSIS OF THE “GAY MSIAH‟ RUF WAWRIGHT’S “GOG TO A TOWN” TTH, JTICE, AND THE HELLENIC WAY: THE CULTURAL APOTHEOSIS OF THE “GAY MSIAH‟ RUF WAWRIGHT’S “GOG TO A TOWN”

"HOLY HELL": THE CHILLG TTH BEHD LIFE WH A GAY MSIAHDIRECTOR WILL ALLEN SPENT 20 YEARS UNR THE HYPNOTIC SPELL OF MICHEL, LEAR OF THE BUDDHAFIELD {FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}MOVIBY JEREMY KSERMAY 27, 2016/2:40 PMBY JEREMY KSERMAY 27, 2016 / 2:40 PM{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"NEWSARTICLE","HEADLE":"\"HOLY HELL\": THE CHILLG TTH BEHD LIFE WH A GAY MSIAH","DATEPUBLISHED":"2016-05-27T18:40:15.000+0000","DATEMODIFIED":"2016-05-27T18:40:15.000+0000","IMAGE":{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","WIDTH":1920,"HEIGHT":1080},"URL":","THOR":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","NAME":"LOGO TV"},"MAENTYOFPAGE":{"@TYPE":"WEBPAGE","@ID":"},"PUBLISHER":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","@ID":","NAME":"LOGO TV","URL":","LOGO":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT"}},"CREATOR":"JEREMY KSER","ARTICLESECTN":"MOVI"}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WHEN WILL ALLEN GRADUATED OM FILM SCHOOL 1985, THE WORLD SEEMED FULL OF OPPORTUNI. HE WAS YOUNG, GAY AND GOOD-LOOKG—BUT HE WAS LOOKG FOR SOMETHG TO GIVE HIS LIFE A EPER {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}ALLEN THOUGHT HE’D FOUND WHEN HE MET MICHEL, AN EX-ACTOR AND BALLET DANCER WHO FOUND THE LOS ANGEL-BASED SPIRUAL MUNY KNOWN AS THE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}MICHEL PROMISED A LIFETIME OF LOVE AND ENLIGHTENMENT. ALLEN JOED THE GROUP AS THEIR OFFICIAL VIOGRAPHER (AND MICHEL'S PERSONAL MASSR) AND QUICKLY BEME A FAVORE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}THEIR RELATNSHIP EVENTUALLY TURNED SEXUAL, SPE THE FACT THAT SEX WAS OSTENSIBLY FORBIDN AMONG GROUP {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}"[MICHEL] RONATED PEACE AND BETY, HE WAS TED, CULTURED, OUTSPOKEN, EXTREMELY LIBERAL AND HIS TEACHGS WERE VERY RADIL TO ME," SAYS ALLEN. "IT ALSO DIDN’T HURT THAT HE WAS OBVLY A GAY MAN AND I NEED A ROLE MOL WHO WOULD SPIRE ME."{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}EVENTUALLY, THOUGH, FOLLOWERS SAY THEY SAW MICHEL'S DARKER SI—PARANOID, MANDG, SECRETIVE—AND THE BUDDHAFIELD MUNY BEGAN TO FALL {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}AFTER TWO S, ALLEN PED BUDDHAFIELD WH FOOTAGE OM HIS YEARS THERE, WHICH, ALONG WH NEW TERVIEWS OM FORMER FOLLOWERS, BEME THE BASIS OF THE NEW DOCUMENTARY HOLY HELL, SELECT THEATERS {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-FLEX;DISPLAY:-MS-FLEXBOX;DISPLAY:FLEX;-WEBK-BOX-PACK:CENTER;-WEBK-JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-PACK:CENTER;JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;POSN:RELATIVE;PADDG-BOTTOM:56.25%;} .TWTER-TWEET-RENRED, {M-WIDTH:65%;WIDTH:TO !IMPORTANT;} {WIDTH:100%;} {MARG-LEFT:TO !IMPORTANT;MARG-RIGHT:TO !IMPORTANT;} IMG{MAX-WIDTH:100%;WIDTH:100%;} > IAME{BORR:NONE;MAX-WIDTH:100%;} > {MAX-WIDTH:NONE !IMPORTANT;POSN:ABSOLUTE;HEIGHT:100% !IMPORTANT;WIDTH:100% !IMPORTANT;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}ALLEN SPOKE WH NEWNOWNEXT ABOUT LIFE SI THE BUDDHAFIELD, HIS SECRET RELATNSHIP WH S CHARISMATIC LEAR AND WHEN HE KNEW HE HAD TO {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}AS A BRIGHT YOUNG MAN H OUT OF FILM SCHOOL, THE POSSIBILI MT HAVE SEEMED ENDLS. WHAT LED YOU TO BEE VOLVED THE BUDDHAFIELD? {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I WAS LOOKG FOR A EPER MEANG TO MY EXISTENCE. I WAS GAY AND TRYG TO E OUT 1985, WHEN AIDS WAS THE HUGE SRE HAPPENG OUR SOCIETY. I ME OM A GOOD FAY, BUT I STILL FELT LIKE THERE MT BE MORE TO THIS LIFE THAN WHAT I HAD FOUND SO FAR. I WAS VERY NFED AFTER GRADUATG FILM SCHOOL AND I REMEMBER THKG I NEED TO FD THE SECRET TO HAPPS AND HOW TO LIVE A MEANGFUL {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}HOW DID YOU FIRST BEE AWARE OF MICHEL?{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}MY SISTER VED ME TO A SMALL MEDATN MEETG WT HOLLYWOOD SOMEONE’S LIVG ROOM, AND WALKED THIS EXOTIC, MCLE-BOUND FOREIGNER OM VENEZUELA SHARG ABOUT LOVE AND GOD AND ENLIGHTENMENT. I WAS QUE NOCENT AT THE TIME. AND I FELT AN IMMEDIATE SENSE OF EASE AND {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}SO I’D SAY I WAS LOOKG FOR MEANG, FOR SOMETHG TO GIVE MYSELF TO THAT WOULD HAVE A PURPOSE. I THK THAT'S MON FOR MANY PEOPLE—WE WANTED THE PROMISE OF HAPPS. THE FACT THAT MY SISTER WAS THERE AND THE PEOPLE WERE LOVELY HELPED GIVE ME A SENSE OF SAFETY ABOUT GETTG VOLVED MORE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WOULD YOU SAY BEG VULNERABLE WAS A MON THREAD AMONG BUDDHAFIELD FOLLOWERS?{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I LOOK BACK AND SEE THAT I WAS ED VERY VULNERABLE AT THAT TIME AND LOOKG FOR GUIDANCE AND ANSWERS. THE MONALY WAS BOTH SPIRUAL AND MUNY, AS I DISVERED WHEN I STARTED TO MAKE HOLY HELL YEARS {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I STARTED TO PROBE AND ASK MY IENDS EPER QUTNS ABOUT WHAT THEY WERE THKG AT THE TIME. SOME WERE SEEKG NIRVANA, SOME WERE JT SEEKG A SAFE MUNY OF GOOD PEOPLE, AND SOME HAD OTHER SPIRUAL OR EMOTNAL {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I SEE NOW THAT THE HUMAN NDN IS VERY PLEX AND NOTHG PREPAR FOR OUR LIFE JOURNEY. AT LEAST MY UPBRGG DID {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}A LOT OF PEOPLE WOULD LOOK AT MICHEL WH HIS SPEEDOS AND HIS PLASTIC SURGERY AND BE SKEPTIL. WHAT WAS THE APPEAL HE HELD FOR YOU AND OTHER MEMBERS?{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I WAS THERE BEE MICHEL SPOKE AS IF HE WAS ENLIGHTENED. HE WOULD SHOW ME THE SECRET OF THE UNIVERSE. HE RONATED PEACE AND BETY, HE WAS TED, CULTURED, OUTSPOKEN, EXTREMELY LIBERAL AND HIS TEACHGS WERE VERY RADIL TO ME. IT ALSO DIDN’T HURT THAT HE WAS OBVLY A GAY MAN AND I NEED A ROLE MOL WHO WOULD SPIRE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}HE WAS ALSO VERY FLAMBOYANT AND HAD BEEN AN ACTOR, DANCER AND ACTG TEACHER AND HYPNOTHERAPIST. HE WAS A QUADPLE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}SO YOU FELT SAFE?{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}MICHEL ACMODATED EVERYTHG I DIDN'T GET AT HOME, BUT SPIRUAL ENLIGHTENMENT BEME MY APPEAL FOR THE GROUP. HE SAID HE ULD REVEAL THE EXPERIENCE OF GOD, NER LIGHT AND DIVE LOVE. FOR HIM TO WORK WH , WE HAD TO MAKE A VOW TO ASK FOR HIS GUIDANCE AND THEN TO FOLLOW , OTHERWISE WE WEREN'T SER {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}HE EXPLAED THERE WERE MANY PFALLS ALONG THE WAY AND HE WAS THERE TO GUI UPON THIS RAZOR'S EDGE. HE ALSO WANTED TO FALL LOVE WH HIM AND HE WANTED TO BE THE HIGHT SYMBOL OF DIVE LOVE FOR SO THEN WE ULD LOVE SOMETHG MORE THAN OURSELV—SOMETHG BIGGER THAN OUR SMALL {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}HE PROMISED ME IF I TSTED HIM PLETELY, HE ULD TAKE BEYOND OUR MDS AND OUR {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}DID EVERYONE FALL UNR MICHEL'S SPELL?{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}MANY, MANY PEOPLE DID NOT RONATE WH HIM AT ALL. LOTS OF PEOPLE WERE VED TO MEETGS THE EARLY DAYS WT HOLLYWOOD AND LEFT MUMBLG, “WHAT THE HELL IS THIS CULT? THAT MAN IS AN EGOMANIAC!”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}BUT THE MORE TIME YOU SPENT AROUND HIM AND BEME FLUENCED BY HIS WORDS, THE BETTER YOU’D FEEL. AND THEN THE MORE YOU WANTED TO BE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}HE WAS BORROWG TEACHGS OM DOZENS OF PLAC, BUT WE DIDN’T KNOW THIS. I ULD NOT PERSONALLY SEE THE RED FLAGS BEE I HAD NOTHG AMERI THAT I ULD PARE HIM TO. PL MY SISTER AND ALL OF LOVED EVERYTHG WE WERE DOG TOGETHER AND WE GREW TO LOVE HIM, {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}AND WAS THE '80’S. THERE WAS NO INTER AND NO CELL {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}HOW DID LIFE CHANGE WHILE YOU WERE LIVG WH THE MUNY?{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}THE TRANSFORMATN I EXPERIENCED IMMEDIATELY OM BEG EXPOSED TO MEDATN WAS PROOF ENOUGH FOR ME THAT THIS WAS A VERY PRACTIL AND JOYFUL WAY TO LIVE. I BEME HAPPY AND SIMPLE. UP UNTIL THAT POT I HAD NOT BEEN HAPPY AND NOTHG MY LIFE HAD BEEN {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}ANOTHER THG THAT WAS POPULAR HIS TEACHGS WAS NOT TO RE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THK. AND ONLY LISTEN TO AND TRY TO PLEASE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}SO THAT WAS THE BEGNG OF NOT LISTENG TO OUR OWN GUIDANCE SYSTEMS—BEE HIS "TEACHGS" OVERRO ANYTHG WE THOUGHT WAS RIGHT OR {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}HOW DID YOUR RELATNSHIP WH MICHEL EVOLVE TO AN TIMATE ONE?{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}AFTER A UPLE YEARS HE NOTICED I WAS VERY WILLG TO DO SERVICE. SERVICE IS SOMETHG YOU DID NOT DO FOR YOURSELF, BUT DID EELY FOR OTHERS AND WH NO NEED FOR ANYTHG RETURN. SERVICE WAS A JOYFUL ACTN AND I GOT A LOT OF EAGE OUT OF {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I THK HE NOTICED THIS AND PULLED ME CLOSER TO HIM TO DO PERSONAL SERVICE FOR HIM AND AROUND HIM. I STARTED TO LEARN MASSAGE, AND DRIVE HIM EVERYWHERE. I HELPED HIM START HIS DAY. I LOVED BEG PULLED CLOSE TO HELP HIM DIRECTLY. I FELT LIKE WAS VERY SPECIAL, BUT HE ALSO MA ME FEEL LIKE I HAD POTENTIAL TO BEE ENLIGHTENED AND THAT I WAS WORTH HIS TIME AND EFFORT. I DIDN’T REALIZE I WAS ALSO GAY AND PRETTY CUTE. THAT NEVER REGISTERED TO ME UNTIL {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}HOW WAS THIS KEPT SECRET?{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}EVERYONE THOUGHT THAT HE WAS THEIR MOST TSTED ALLY, BOTH THE TEACHER AND THE THERAPIST. IF HE TOLD YOU NOT TO SAY SOMETHG, WAS DONE WH THE HIGHT SECRECY AND YOU WERE MEANT TO OBEY HIM. HE TMPED EVER RELATNSHIP YOU HAD. HE MANIPULATED ALL OF THIS WAY, WHOUT THE OTHER KNOWG, MEN AND WOMEN {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I AM NOT TALKG JT ABOUT HIS SEXUAL MANIPULATNS. WOMEN WERE TOLD NOT TO BE WH THEIR BOYIENDS, LATER TO FD OUT WAS BEE HE WAS SCG THEM HIMSELF. NOW I ALSO KNOW, BIS THE NTROLLG FACTORS, PEOPLE ALSO DIDN’T SPEAK FOR A NUMBER OF OTHER PERSONAL REASONS, SUCH AS SHAME, GUILT, OR FEAR OF HIM MONIZG {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WERE YOU AWARE THAT MICHEL WAS ALSO VOLVED WH SOME OF THE OTHER YOUNG MEN?{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I WAS AWARE OF ONE BOY, FOR SURE, BEE I FIGURED OUT HE REPLACED ME WH A WEEK. [LGHS] I WAS DUMBFOUND—ALTHOUGH I WAS GLAD TO BE RELEASED OM THIS FUCKED-UP, MANIPULATIVE RELATNSHIP HE WAS FORCG ON ME, I ALSO ULDN’T BELIEVE HOW QUICKLY HE HAD SCED SOMEONE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I KNEW ONLY BEE I LIVED WH MICHEL AND TOOK RE OF HIM: ONE DAY I HEARD SEXUAL NOIS G OM SI HIS ROOM DURG A CLEANSG SSN. I SAID TO HIM AFTERWARDS, “I ULD HEAR YOU. YOU WERE HAVG SEX THERE DURG CLEANSG." I FELT I ULD TALK TO HIM SOMETIM LIKE THIS, BEE I KNEW HE HAD DONE TO ME, AND I WAS SHOCKED. HE SAID, “NO NO, THAT IS YOUR IMAGATN. THAT IS NOT WHAT YOU HEARD.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}AND THEN THE NEXT DAY ONE OF HIS DISCIPL, WHO WAS A RPENTER, ME TO SOLVE THIS PROBLEM BY ADDG A SEND PRIVACY DOOR ON THE ENTRYWAY TO HIS ROOM. SO AFTER THAT, THERE WERE TWO DOORS PROTECTG HIM FOR THE NEXT 13 YEARS WHILE LIVG AT [WHERE THE BUDDHAFIELD EVENTUALLY MOVED.]. WHO KNOWS WHAT WENT ON THERE? I N GUARANTEE YOU WAS NOT NSENSUAL. NOT THE WAY THAT YOU AND I KNOW AS “NSENSUAL.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I NEVER SAID ANYTHG AFTER THAT OR TRIED TO TERFERE WH MY SPICNS. I GAVE UP AND FELT FEATED. NOW I WOULD. NOW I WOULD EXPOSE THAT SH A {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WHAT PRECIPATED YOUR MAKG A BREAK OM THE GROUP?{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IT WAS WHEN WE, AS A GROUP, DISVERED MORE AND MORE SECRETS AND VASTATG LI THAT JT SHATTERED THE PERCEPTN PEOPLE HAD OF MICHEL AND THE TTHS HE WAS TRYG TO NCEAL. PEOPLE WERE HURT SPIRUALLY, EMOTNALLY, MENTALLY AND SEXUALLY, FOR {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WE REALIZED HE WAS MORE NARCISSISTIC THAN ENLIGHTENED. AND WHEN SO MANY PEOPLE EXPOSED THEIR STORI, HOW ULD YOU NOT PULL AWAY AND STOP THIS? IT WAS EXPOSED AND NOW WE ULD DISCS MORE EELY AMONG OURSELV. THAT IS ALWAYS A HEALTHY THG, AND PEOPLE ARE NOT HONT ENOUGH WH EACH OTHER. WE SHOULD BE NCERNED FOR EACH OTHER THIS SOCIETY, AGAST PREDATORS AND SOCPATHIC BEHAVRS, BEE MANY PEOPLE NNOT SPEAK OUT FOR {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}DO YOU KNOW IF MICHEL HAS SEEN THE FILM?{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}HE HAS SOMEHOW SEEN THE FILM, I’VE HEARD. HE IS BIDG HIS TIME HAWAII [WHERE THE BUDDHAFIELD IS NOW LOTED], HOPG WILL ALL GO AWAY. THE PEOPLE WH HIM HAVE SPREAD OUT AND BEE MORE GNO, LIKE WE ED TO DO WHEN HE WAS THREATENED OM THE OUTSI WORLD. WE ALWAYS THOUGHT WE WERE PROTECTG THE “CHRIST” FIGURE, AND I AM SURE HE STILL SPS THAT YARN TO HIS {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}ACTUALLY I KNOW FOR A FACT HE DO, AS I HAVE READ SOME EMAILS OM THEM. OH, AND THERE WAS THE ATH THREAT THAT END WH A WARRANT FOR A BOY’S ARRT. HIS NAME WAS SAMSON, [MICHEL'S] BODYGUARD, BUT HIS ACTUAL NAME WAS SOMETHG {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}HAVE THERE BEEN THREATS AGAST YOUR LIFE FOR MAKG THE DOCUMENTARY?{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}MY LIFE? NO. BUT I HAVE PUT MYSELF THE LE OF HIS FIRE—HE IS NOT AN HONT MAN, MY HUMBLE OPN. HE'S BADMOUTHG OUR FILM ANONYMOLY WAYS FOR WHICH HE NNOT BE HELD ACUNTABLE. REMEMBER HE HAS A HUGE GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO WILL DO ALL OF HIS DIRTY WORK FOR HIM—FOR EE. THEY LL "SERVICE FOR THE HIGHER GOOD.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IS THERE MORE OF THIS STORY TO BE TOLD?{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I'VE ONLY TOLD ABOUT 10% OF WHAT HAPPENED TO AT THE BUDDHAFIELD AND THE THGS MICHEL DID. A IEND WHO RECENTLY LEFT THE GROUP TOLD ME HE IS DOG SOMETHG HE LLS "HEALGS" FOR $100 A POP. HE DO ABOUT FIVE A DAY, I AM TOLD, AND WORKS ALMOST EVERYDAY. IT'S ALL SH. HE'S A GOLDME FOR THE IRS TO {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}BELOW, WATCH AN EXCLIVE CLIP OM HOLY HELL, THEATERS {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-FLEX;DISPLAY:-MS-FLEXBOX;DISPLAY:FLEX;-WEBK-BOX-PACK:CENTER;-WEBK-JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-PACK:CENTER;JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;} .TWTER-TWEET-RENRED, {M-WIDTH:65%;WIDTH:TO !IMPORTANT;} {WIDTH:100%;} {MARG-LEFT:TO !IMPORTANT;MARG-RIGHT:TO !IMPORTANT;} IMG{MAX-WIDTH:100%;WIDTH:100%;} > IAME{BORR:NONE;MAX-WIDTH:100%;} > {MAX-WIDTH:NONE !IMPORTANT;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;CLEAR:BOTH;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;MARG:0 TO;WIDTH:90%;M-WIDTH:288PX;MAX-WIDTH:1440PX;M-HEIGHT:194PX;}LATT NEWS

Watch the vio for Gay Msiah om Ruf Wawright's Want Two for ee, and see the artwork, lyrics and siar artists. * gay messiah *

He was young, gay and good-lookg—but he was lookg for somethg to give his life a eper thought he’d found when he met Michel, an ex-actor and ballet dancer who found the Los Angel-based spirual muny known as The promised a lifetime of love and enlightenment.

It also didn’t hurt that he was obvly a gay man and I need a role mol who would spire was also very flamboyant and had been an actor, dancer and actg teacher and hypnotherapist.

GAY MSIAH

Lyrics and vio for the song Gay Msiah by Ruf Wawright - Songfacts * gay messiah *

He will then be rebornFrom 1970's pornWearg tubocks wh styleAnd such an nocent seBetter pray for your ssBetter pray for your ss'e the gay msiah's gHe will fall om the starsStud 54And appear on the sandOf Fire Island's shoreBetter pray for your ssBetter pray for your ss'e the gay msiah's gNo will not be meRuf the baptist I beNo I won't be the oneBaptized cumWhat will happen steadSomeone will mand my headAnd then I will kneel downAnd give to them lookg downBetter pray for your ssBetter pray for your ss'e the gay msiah's g. But now that gay marriage is legalized, and as the untry unrgo broad cultural shifts, that’s changg.

For example: Baylor, the natn’s largt Baptist universy, quietly removed s policy forbiddg “homosexual acts” last year. But the llege’s spokperson, Lori Fogleman, didn’t say whether this change means legally married gay stunts n now enroll at Baylor.

GAY MSIAHS OUR MIDST

Chords for Ruf Wawright - Gay msiah * gay messiah *

“As a bisexual woman the Baylor muny, I am very much the closet to everybody that I am not good iends wh here, jt to mimize backlash, ” said a Baylor stunt named Ariel, who requted that her last name not be at many lleg, stunts n still be kicked out for beg a gay relatnship. For example, last year, the wrer Eliel Cz was allegedly told by admistrators that he uldn’t sell cupk to raise money for homels LGBT youth bee such “perceived advocy” of LGBT people would nflict wh the missn of Andrews Universy though some nservative schools are tryg to fd a promise between their nvictns and prevailg cultural norms, this posture often effectively creat two sets of l: one for gay stunts, and one for straight stunts. Acrdg to the handbook, “stunts who experience same sex attractn or intify as gay or lbian are expected to rea om ‘same sex sexual exprsn’ as is embodied culturally ntextual practic (e.

“The joke among my iends is that you n be gay at Msiah, jt so long as you don’t act gay, or say gay thgs, or do anythg to show you’re gay. And while a majory of evangelils rema opposed to gay marriage, some of their lears, cludg the evangelil ethicist David Ghee, have offered a biblil se for gay marriage and full acceptance of LGBT people wh the church.

As a December Pew Rearch study noted, “Roughly half (51%) of evangelil Prottants the Millennial generatn (born between 1981 and 1996) say homosexualy should be accepted by society. Ined, the balancg act of beg openly gay, remag celibate, and meetg the expectatns of a nservative relig muny n sometim be too much to bear, even at lleg that want to show an openns on the issue. After beg urted by Wheaton College Illois, the openly gay blogger Julie Rodgers accepted the posn of “mistry associate for spirual re” for the LGBT populatn on mp 2014.

At many evangelil universi, you n be gay—as long as you don’t “act” . * gay messiah *

Dpe her succsful mistry at Wheaton, she rigned 2015, and wrote an article about her disappotg print of Wheaton “said he’d heard nothg but posive thgs about my mistry wh stunts on mp, but they hadn’t anticipated so much cricism om alumni and donors, ” Rodgers Lee, executive director of the Gay Christian Network, speaks to Christian llege mp support of LGBT stunts, and often se a disnnect between how the admistratn views LGBT issu and how stunts view them. (RNS) Alumni at evangelil Msiah College have lnched an onle petn urgg the nservative Christian school to change s polici toward gay and lbian stunts.

The move follows a siar petn at another evangelil flagship stutn, Wheaton College suburban Chigo, where gay alumni and supporters have lnched the group OneWheaton. Msiah's Communy Covenant prohibs "homosexual behavr, " which the petn says humaniz and margaliz stunts who are gay, lbian, bisexual or transgenr, and creat divisns wh the mp muny. The petn the wake of a story about an openly gay Msiah stunt who plans to transfer at the end of the semter after beg harassed and threatened on mp.

TTH, JTICE, AND THE HELLENIC WAY: THE CULTURAL APOTHEOSIS OF THE “GAY MSIAH‟ RUF WAWRIGHT’S “GOG TO A TOWN” TTH, JTICE, AND THE HELLENIC WAY: THE CULTURAL APOTHEOSIS OF THE “GAY MSIAH‟ RUF WAWRIGHT’S “GOG TO A TOWN” TTH, JTICE, AND THE HELLENIC WAY: THE CULTURAL APOTHEOSIS OF THE “GAY MSIAH‟ RUF WAWRIGHT’S “GOG TO A TOWN” TTH, JTICE, AND THE HELLENIC WAY: THE CULTURAL APOTHEOSIS OF THE “GAY MSIAH‟ RUF WAWRIGHT’S “GOG TO A TOWN” TTH, JTICE, AND THE HELLENIC WAY: THE CULTURAL APOTHEOSIS OF THE “GAY MSIAH‟ RUF WAWRIGHT’S “GOG TO A TOWN”

Gay Msiah by Ruf Wawright [Verse] Cmaj7/G C/G C9 C/G He will then be reborn Cmaj7/G Cadd9 G Gadd11 From 1970's porn Cmaj7/G C/G C9 C/G Wearg tubocks wh style Cmaj7/G Cadd9 G Gadd * gay messiah *

Msiah hman Isaiah Thomas, who is gay, has said he's received ath threats on Facebook, had property stolen and had been harassed by a profsor. "Msiah is transparent about s fah mments, relig herage, re valu and behavral expectatns on a prehensive range of issu, not limed to, but cludg sexual behavr (both heterosexual and homosexual), " Phipps said a letter to the mp. "Specifilly, the llege's stance on homosexual behavr is rooted a scriptural unrstandg of marriage and a sexual ethic historilly affirmed by the Christian church -- cludg Msiah's foundg nomatn, the Brethren Christ.

Want Two’s most trospective track, “Gay Msiah, ” fds Wawright grapplg humoroly and poignantly wh his growg gay in stat. This time, 's all those gay Amerins who sisted on marryg each other, and who drove "social nservativ" to the polls to support the only ndidate who refed to adm that civil marriage has never been a sacrament for so we disver that gay culture hasn't bee so mastream after all, spe of Ellen DeGener, RuPl, Elton John and.

____________________ / Ruf Wawright / I thk this song is a humoro rponse to the hype / Gay Msiah / of Ruf, where medias promoted him as the new Gay / Want Two / Msiah that w * gay messiah *

The gay ghetto still exists, even though s domn may extend over much of the show-biz machery tooled to such perfectn the Uned strange that the popular arts should have bee so liberal, so "out, " when the society that chiefly stas them still believ that closets are there for a reason. " If anyone popular mic uld be lled the gay msiah, 's Jobriath (Morrissey, who assembled the disc for Attack Rerds, prefers the term "gay martyr") rock crics of a certa age, Jobriath is remembered only as one of the biggt flops ever endured by a major rerd label.

His pungent mic and flashy, al-wh- style are those of a talented man who took the fiance of the Stonewall rters as the mimum standard for public behavur by a homosexual. Jobriath is a small but central figure the ongog disvery of what uld be lled the prehistoric era of gay people the arts. A mere ago, bgrapher Humphrey Carpenter uld make news by blowg the open secret that Benjam Brten was a gay man who liked young revelatns have prompted an open rereadg of many d works by gay artists.

Want Two, like s precsor, is a self-portra of the artist as a young gay man, who is enthiastic about self-nsc role-playg and the prote buzz of an.

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GAY MSIAH

GAY MSIAHS OUR MIDST