Intsive Thought: “What if my Partner is Gay?” | HuffPost Contributor

Contents:

• HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?
• HOCD; AM I GAY OR STRAIGHT?
• INTSIVE THOUGHTS ABOUT BEG GAY
• MY FEAR OF BEG GAY
• 'HOMOSEXUAL OCD': STRAIGHT MEN WHO SPECT THEY ARE GAY
• MEET THE STRAIGHT MEN WHO ARE TERRIFIED THEY ARE GAY
• INTSIVE THOUGHT: “WHAT IF MY PARTNER IS GAY?”
• INTSIVE THOUGHTS / ANXIETY / GAY / HOCD / HELP?!

HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?

” Some people’s doubts are further plited by havg such experienc as hearg other people talkg or lookg their directn and thkg that the people mt be analyzg their behavr or appearance and talkg about them – discsg how they mt be gay (or straight). I have sometim wonred if those who experience the most distrs om such thoughts as the do so bee they were raised wh more strongly homophobic or anti-gay attus to beg wh, or if is simply bee one’s sexualy n be such a basic doubt.

The flip si of this is when they look at thgs havg to do wh sex of an oppose orientatn and then feel aroed some way, which they then nclu to mean that they liked , which means that they are gay (or straight). Makg a seri of three-mute tap that based on the wrgs gradually suggt more and more that you are gay, and listeng to them several tim a day changg them when they no longer bother you).

“HOCD”, short for “Homosexual OCD”, is the term ed for a theme of Obssive Compulsive Disorr which the sufferer has obssns—unwanted tsive thoughts—surroundg their sexual orientatn. I will be g the term “HOCD” throughout this article to discs obssns of those who intify as heterosexual and have relentls doubts about whether or not they are gay.

HOCD; AM I GAY OR STRAIGHT?

A more reprentative way to scribe the obssns is “Sexual Orientatn OCD” bee OCD n latch onto anyone’s sexualy, whether that be someone who intifi as gay or queer or asexual. Furthermore, as sexual obssns of OCD n be about perverse ntent (fear that one is a pedophile or unwanted thoughts about ct), the term “Homosexual OCD” impli that homosexualy is perverse. HOCD is not to be misnsted wh nial or sexual reprsn, as those who are reprsg their te sexualy know that they are attracted to the same sex but ph away, often due to shame that om livg a heteronormative and homophobic world.

INTSIVE THOUGHTS ABOUT BEG GAY

The realy is that we live a very heteronormative world, which is reflected through mastream media showsg heterosexual relatnships, lack of diversy polics, relig groups that nounce homosexualy and claim—wh zero evince—that gay folks will go to hell, and laws that enable discrimatn agast the LGBTQIA+ muny. The obssns n take the form of doubt, for example, a heterosexual male fearg they are gay, or vice versa, a gay man fearg that he is you have thoughts that make you doubt your long-standg sexual preferenc, and the thoughts go agast your te sexual inty, and you have no genue sire to start a same-sex relatnship, You uld have a form of Obssive-pulsive disorr lled Homosexual potsYou nnot be diagnosed wh HOCD as is not rerd as a distct disorr DMS-5. It is a label ed to scribe a particular set of obssns and pulsns relatg to sexual has nothg to do wh prejudice or homophobia—the obssns related to a fear that long-standg sexual inty has name is misleadg; homosexual OCD.

MY FEAR OF BEG GAY

The obssn n be the thought what if I am gay and then feelg pelled (the pulsn) to check this out by lookg at members of the same sex to tt if there is an attractn example, a straight person wh HOCD may fear beg secretly gay, while a gay person wh HOCD may fear beg you are a heterosexual male but sudnly start to qutn that maybe you are gay or a heterosexual female and beg to doubt your long-standg attractn to men, this article will help you make sense of what is gog on. Homosexual Obssive Compulsive Disorr (HOCD) is a type of OCD where the person experienc obssive thoughts and doubts about their prevly taken-for-granted sexual n often clu excsive checkg for signs of homosexualy, qutng recent teractns wh others and playg out potential the ndn first entered the public doma, was labelled HOCD and, acrdg to Bhatia & Kr, 2015 (1), was marked by excsive fear of beg or beg homosexual.

People wh HOCD often thk they are gay or bisexual bee of obssive thoughts and self-doubt, not bee they feel attracted to people of the same shared thoughts and behavurs associated wh HOCD are difficulty settg asi thoughts about your sexual orientatn, avoidance of people of the same sex, preoccupatn wh one’s level of aroal toward eher sex and avoidg people who might make you qutn your thoughts n be credibly distrsg and lead to a great al of anxiety and nfn.

Doubt And The Denial QutnHomosexual OCD And Sexual AroalTreatments for HOCDSelf-help urse for HOCDSigns of HOCDWarng signs may clu:creased attractn to people of the oppose sex, creased attractn to those of your own sex, preoccupatn wh the level of aroal you feel towards people of eher genr, nstg any posive reactn as evince that one is gay or straight, and watchg both gay and straight n be challengg to diagnose, so you mt know the warng signs if you thk you might have do I know if I have HOCD? E., the thoughts about your sexualy that you dislike, like many other people, you do some thgs to help you ci if you are gay or reassure yourself that you are still straight. ” Dog this n distance you om the thoughts, see them as HOCD symptoms, and not prove that you are gay or do the pulsns to make yourself feel better or try to ‘check out if you are gay’ COMPULSIONSYou are gog over prev sexual enunters wh members of the oppose sex to reassure yourself that you are not might try to image beg wh a member of the same sex to check out your theory that you might be might have remembered an event om your childhood that you now see as evince that you are gay.

'HOMOSEXUAL OCD': STRAIGHT MEN WHO SPECT THEY ARE GAY

This reassurance-seekg uld google HOCD Symptoms to get rmatn to show you whether you are gay and ask current or prev partners qutns to help you ci about your sexualy. Watchg same-sex porn to see if you get aroedWatchg straight porn to see if you get aroedGog to gay bars to see if you are attracted to anyoneExcsive Checkg: This volv repeatedly checkg one’s body for any signs related to homosexualy. AvoidancePeople who have HOCD may avoid what they believe may trigger their uld be certa songs or artists that you associate wh beg gay, typ of TV programs, magaz or books that you might associate more wh same-sex might avoid gog out or mixg wh a same-sex uple or showg support for same-sex upl.

Avoidg men if your HOCD is ncerned wh beg gayAvoidg women if your HOCD is related to the feelg that you are lbianAvoidg takg part thgs that you believe are too manly or too femaleAvoidg changg rooms where you will see members of your sex drs and undrsNot beg able to make eye ntact wh members of the same sex or avoid hangg out wh themAny topics of nversatn relatg to sexual preferenceMovi where same-sex actors may kiss or be romantilly volvedFdg Members Of The Same-Sex AttractiveHuman begs fd many thgs attractive. I shall ntradict myself now; thoughts only have the meang you give to them, so be reful about any flty beliefs you may In The SpotlightYou might have noticed that your life before HOCD, you never qutned your sexual preference, took heterosexual relatnships for granted, and never noticed who was gay and who was you have a radar, or a spotlight as I like to thk of , where everythg you do, and everywhere you go, you seem to notice thgs that make you qutn your sexual preference. If you were meetg iends for a ffee, you would have filtered out the people you walked past, how you were walkg and foced on gettg to the ffee shop and filtered out the background noise to enjoy your iend’s you have a spotlight; you n selectively attend to everythg you associate wh beg gay.

It uld be challengg to pay attentn and jt enjoy beg wh your iends, as you might wonr if they thk you are of this do not mean that you are gay; means that you are shg a spotlight on thgs that you associate wh beg gay, which brgs me to an important pot; what’s the difference between HOCD and beg gay? ’ Comg out is where you choose to thk about your sexualy, knowg you are attracted to members of the same sex and want to thk about how to live your life as gay or lbian. Difference Between HOCD And Beg GayIt’s straightforward, HOCD is Obssive-Compulsive Disorr, and beg gay is enjoyg and wantg romantic relatnships wh members of the same you have HOCD, your thoughts are ncerned about beg gay–not your actns.

MEET THE STRAIGHT MEN WHO ARE TERRIFIED THEY ARE GAY

If you are gay, your actns and thoughts show you are gay; you want, seek and enjoy romantic relatnships wh the same readg that, you uld well thk, but how do I know? Further ReadgCentreforanxietydisorrsNCBITreatments for HOCDIf you are stgglg wh HOCD, there are thgs you n do on your own that, ’s sential to unrstand that HOCD nnot change your sexual orientatn- is only a doubt, a symptom of the ndn to know if you are gay or, try not to give the thoughts too much power by refg to engage wh them.

Currently sufferg om OCD (Obssive Compulsive Disorr)Recurrg unwanted or tsive thoughts about your own sexualyConstantly reassurg yourself that you are straightAvoidg people of your same genr due to anxiety or unwanted fears that you might be gayWorryg that you might be sendg out “signals” that will make others thk you are gayHomosexual thoughts are repulsive to you, rather than arogFeelg no attractn to your same sexRepeatg an actn bee you worry that you might have done somethg a way that mak others thk you are gay (example: a man repeatedly gets up and ss down on a chair bee he worri that he tak a seat a way that looks too feme). Homosexual thoughts are enjoyable and/or arog to the person, even if they hi their sexual orientatn om others or are ashamed of Havg had past sexual experienc wh those of their same genrPreferrg to date or have sexual enunters wh people of their same genr stead of wh those of the oppose sexOften, people who are gay report havg felt differently than their same-sex peers at an early age. A person sufferg om this sub-type of OCD nstantly doubts their sexual orientatn:A straight person worri whether they might actually be gay even though they haven’t doubted their sexual orientatn the pastThey might worry that homosexualy is “tchg”They may thk that talkg wh a gay person will make them act out by triggerg their own latent homosexual tennci.

Where a tly gay person obtas happs and relief the act of revealg their homosexual orientatn, HOCD people who e out ntue to doubt their wh tradnal OCD, people who are affected by this ternalized homophobia engage ruals to help them alleviate their anxiety and prove to themselv that they are tly straight. They might also perform washg ruals if they are around a gay person, may act overtly to assure themselv of their sexual orientatn, or may even blatantly act out agast gay people orr to prove they are straight.

INTSIVE THOUGHT: “WHAT IF MY PARTNER IS GAY?”

Addnally, HOCD sufferers might avoid physil ntact or beg alone wh gay people and may even rry this behavr to shunng same-sex public rtrooms or not eatg public se the food was prepared by a gay person.

If they don’t, they may unsel the person to help them accept their homosexualy which will only aggravate the person’s HOCD more rmatn and help wh HOCD ’s symptoms the Delray Beach, FL area, please ntact Dr. In the past, some have ed the term “Homosexual OCD” to refer to them wh Sexual Orientatn OCD that volve doubts or tsive thoughts about attractn to people of the same genr, ntrary to one’s own inty.

INTSIVE THOUGHTS / ANXIETY / GAY / HOCD / HELP?!

People who experience homosexual them Sexual Orientatn OCD may experience obssns surroundg the uncertaty of their attractn or potential attractn to people of their same genr. Homosexual OCD do not mean that someone is aaid of beg attracted to people of the same genr, but rather that they are aaid of the uncertaty they feel about their own inty and sir. Someone wh homosexual them Sexual Orientatn OCD is not necsarily aaid of havg one sexual orientatn or another; rather, their abily to feel sure of their own sexualy and inty signifint distrs.

Guilt or shame n pop up for someone wh homosexual OCD if they are a heterosexual relatnship and feel rponsible for potentially wastg their partner’s time or g them grief if they e to the realizatn down the le they are fact gay, lbian, or queer. Homosexual them Sexual Orientatn OCD n lead people to overanalyze unwanted physil sensatns they experience rponse to stimuli om the same genr, and terpretg this sensatn to be a “sign” that they actually are nial of their sexualy.